awkward-lesbean

[awkward-lesbean]

What is the funniest pokemon move

[awkward-lesbean]

being queer and seeing historical queer love is like a punch to the gut in a good way every time

[awkward-lesbean]

Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

[awkward-lesbean]

she weaponized her gag gift im crying

[awkward-lesbean]

forgive the version of you that didn’t know any better

[awkward-lesbean]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[awkward-lesbean]

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

[awkward-lesbean]

making heavy use of a technique i like to call "bothering my cat" which consists largely of bothering my cat

[awkward-lesbean]

we are in hell

[awkward-lesbean]

It seems like the older I get, the more irrationally angry casual censorship makes me. And it isn't just the "unalive" "grape" alleged filter-dodging vernacular, but the way normal words will be peppered with asterisks, or screenshots will have words like "gay" "hell" "fuck" etc either partially or entirely blurred. Who is this helping? What is the purpose of it, except to reinforce shame and elevate a flimsy perception of purity and safety, however those things manifest. It's so tiresome and I'm sick of it.

[awkward-lesbean]

writing is so funny because i could write nonstop for 9hrs and then hit a block where im like "how do i transition between this moment and the next?" and then i just dont touch it for 6 months

[awkward-lesbean]

[awkward-lesbean]

All twelve sacred beasts will defend me from economic uncertainty

[awkward-lesbean]

Hooray! Yay! Dykes!

[awkward-lesbean]

Everyone's talking about Vic stealing Sam's house and wife, but i think we're forgetting that Vic also stole Sam's Gizmo, which he had since he was five years old. And not only that, he probably told his wife about this and was pretty upset, and she had to sit there knowing that she took it and gave it to Vic for a game changer episode. And I think that's worse than giving away the house.

[awkward-lesbean]

At the store I was covering today a dad walked in with his kid. They were on the teen side of childhood but age was indeterminate to me. He said, “So they need a new bed.” Later he added, “Their current bed is pretty squishy.”

I glanced at the child and said, “Would I be correct in intuiting your pronouns are they/them?”

Both dad and child lit up and he thanked me for noticing.

“It’s no big deal. My wife uses they/them. It confuses people because they hear wife and assume she/her but they’re a they/them. It just sounds so much better than spouse or partner to say my wife.”

The kid was ecstatic and exclaimed, “Yeah cause that’s your wife!”

It was fully heart meltingly adorable.

[awkward-lesbean]