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Me, waiting outside Pierre’s at 8:50 am

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THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW HOLMES

This isn’t study-related but this was such a lovely thing for this children’s show to do I had to share

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Hella valid

Shoutout to feminine hygiene brand Bodyform for using actual period blood in their newest ad. The brand is one of many that is working towards ending period-related stigmas.

They state,

“Periods are normal. Showing them should be, too.”

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ANNE OF GREEN GABLES ON NETFLIX IS GREAT

This isn’t study-related but this was such a lovely thing for this children’s show to do I had to share

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Unfortunately he never did. And neither did I.

I felt guilty that it had to happen but not wrong in my actions when he constantly pressed and forced opinions that his father entrenched into him all throughout his childhood onto me.

The difference in our opinions didn't bother me, but to be told mine was illogical and only based in emotional response repeatedly while he put a terrible man on a pedestal to be praised despite the many unethical things he has both done in said, it hurt.

My empathy wasn't the factor that settled my perspective. Empathy made me listen to the many sides of the situation and the unbiased facts, stewing with time before finally forming into an opinion I don't share casually without cause and caution, though it is hinted in the few jokes spoken amongst friends to stir the topic away from the ugly truth of certain situations.

Tears sting my eyes still thinking about the harsh words of wanting to end the coarse topic he never allowed to stay dead. A lump swells in my throat at how I wanted to say the same mean things back to him after having to quietly listen to him rip apart every reason I wanted to leave. There were 30 reasons, one written per page detailing all the sides I thought about while shivering amongst silent sobs because I was emotionally destroyed to the point the only thing I could feel was a frightening numbness slowly consuming my aching heart that grew worse every minute I was around him while we were still together.

Just past 3 years together and the rose colored glasses no longer could hide how colorless the world became for me. How the person I was so infatuated with grew to be the same one who riddled me with self doubt and enabled an overly dependent persona I never wanted to have.

30 reasons I had to leave. Some were favorable to me just as others favored him, but most highlighted how horribly unhealthy our relationship was to the both of us. He had problems he would never admit to himself let alone to me, but talking about emotions was something he never wanted to do. It was "unmanly" for him, and "illogical" for me. I tried to admit my problems as they came to my attention and listened to his endless critics that came only after how I never allowed him to put me on the same pedestal of perfection he held himself and the many people he forcibly made me learn about. Apparently, admitting that we were both human beings who were flawed and should seek to improve themselves in some way everday was immature of me. I can see how he was right, but not in this way, no matter how hard I tried, but I never said so to his face and only admitted after our break up to my mother in tears.

She was the first person who knew how unhappy I was, because long before I realized how bad it had gotten, my family did. They watched the life be sucked out of me piece by piece. More being taken each time until I broke down as a husk confront of my mother after being asked a simple question of how my date with him went.

It wasn't fair that I withdrew into myself and couldn't share more to my ex while we were still together, and it wasn't fair that my friend had to find out about this from him and I still haven't spoken to her. To be honest, I still don't want to talk about it in full detail that she deserves despite how each time I do, it makes me feel a little better.

Especially after how her own relationship was left in shambles, and now our group of friends drifted apart. I never liked her boyfriend more than the occasional friend to see every once in a while, but I tolerated him for her because even though we don't speak now, I think about her everyday. I'm sorry that you lost a good friend thanks to me Snow. You deserve the world and more for your kind-heart. Though I know one day you will earn it on your own deeds alone as the loyal busy bee that you are.

Despite how it all turned out, any of them could still text me with their woes and I would reply as soon as my brain would allow it. I still care, even if for some it's not in the way they want it to be.

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🌸🌸

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This. I can’t wait for this. I am going to hug you so tightly and I don’t think I’ll ever want to let you go. I’ve waited so long for this and I can’t believe it’s going to happen. We may just be friends now, but I still can’t wait to kiss you or hold hands or give each other long hugs because I love you and wish you would never have to leave me. <3

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“Holding hands may seem like an innocent gesture, but they show more than a simple interlocking of fingers. Your hands are one of the most essential parts of your body: you build with them, feed with them, hold with them, touch with them, fight with them; they are the tools of the human body. To take a hold of another’s hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another’s, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. More simple, more aesthetically naive than other forms of affection, the act of holding hands is often trivialized in its true implications.”

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With all of that out and off my chest, I feel now that I can finally rest just a little easier.

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Oh dear so many things have happened. I got experience all the hugs, and my best friend sending him to me to calm me down when I almost got in a fight with a pompous jerk. She is an amazing trooper and I wish her well even though things may not be going so well for her. I think about her problems a lot, and often I get really worked up. Not so much from anger or frustration. But of a sadness that she no doubt feels, and in those moments I let myself cry so that maybe, just maybe, it helps ease her of some of it with every tear. I'd like to think it helps by taking off some of her burden, making it less but that's probably wishful thinking. On the other hand I can understand some of her frustrations she bares on herself I deal with them too. Why don't I fit into this category of pretty and why can't I ever? Why am I this awkward mess that makes everything worse by just speaking? There is only so many harsh words we can keep burden on our shoulders. Yet hopefully we are the same in how at some point we pick ourselves up out of that puddle of self-loathing tears and remind ourselves that we are cute. We are pretty. We are funny. We are smart. We are who we are and that is what makes us amazing. It's hard to say that at times but it's worth it. Because the more you say it, the more you start to slowly believe it. It's a journey and a process but one that's worth the climb. Just like how I almost had a heart attack upon the guy I like seemingly falling down the stairs during a skype call, was worth going through to hear him sleepily talk about himself. His favorite color, the football coach who believed in bigfoot, his older brother, and the small little promise of how he won't be terrorized by nightmares of aliens thanks to his older brother's teasing when he was younger. I love how he gets along with my friends so well, it's amazing and I couldn't be more happy. Especially with how he also seems to understand the protective urge I have over them, despite my pacifist like nature. Then there was how he and our mutual friend went out to a sub place and he got paid for my own and had wanted to get me a drink also. It was a great day, and his hugs are so inviting and he encourages me to do my very best. My absolute best and for once it feels obtainable. Yet today, I spent a lot of time crying. Not for my friend this time. But for me, and how my mind went back to think about the past relationships and how terrible they were. My first who downgraded my efforts to make him happy, and who I later found out cheated on me around the time his moods began to sour with his ex that he was still friends with that he would go out of his way to see yet would yell at me so severely to cause tears for missing a movie date due to a family emergency with my grandfather. The second being a boy who only befriended me to learn what buttons to push to get me to do as he wanted, and then only dated me for how it got him closer to my other best friend. How he intentionally hurt himself for an excuse not to be seen dancing with me for a homecoming dance, and then lied to get out of the one dance that I had practically begged for. The dance I was only going to dance with him for half the song at most if his back didn't started hurting him before, but no I wasn't worth even a minute of his time. I wasn't worth more than two words over text when he broke up with me. And yet as badly as I tried to push him as far away as possible he after I break up, he still came around prom time to use me again. Something my friends have yet to hear about and if they were to hear it now.... Please know that I'm glad I didn't go, and that you all had had a wonderful time, but the fact he wanted to use me to get in to ruin it for everyone was just the icing on the cake that made the choice so much easier to say despite it being a bigger deal than the small one I played it off to be. He was the reason I didn't trust the third one to really enter a relationship. I was lucky, and the third one was a sweet boy a few years older than I. He was patient and understood that I couldn't handle a relationship then, but as time passed and we grew closer, he stayed sweet but it was a sickening kind. He had far more troubles that he was willi ng to realize, and I was capable of handling. To this day I feel terrible at how he didn't get the goodbye or the relationship he deserved and wanted. But the signs I saw in him were much like the first and it would've been only a matter of time before he would change into that and it would be abuse again. Neither of us deserved that sentence of grief, so it was best to end on a happier note. And I hope he is doing far better now than then. Even as I cry, still more of my focus is on the happiness of others and that makes it all the more harder to swallow.

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Why Is That So Hard To Ask For? // Submitted by: Anonymous

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Okay but imagine your crush

Laughing so hard they can’t breathe

Snuggling up to something really warm and fuzzy at night

Staring up at the stars in pure awe

Hearing a joke and staring blankly for a few seconds before finally getting ait and laughing really, really hard

Watching fireworks on the fourth of July

Going to the zoo and observing the animals with a huge grin on their face

Laying on their bed and listening to music while just staring up at the ceiling

Laying down on the grass and cloud watching

Getting really, really excited about something dumb, like getting an unexpected present or being given an extra cupcake

Interacting with their pets really casually and sweetly, knowing all the spots to scratch and pet to get the best reactions

Sitting on their bedroom floor and looking through their collections of things, whether it be books, snow globes, seashells, etc.

Dancing around in their room crazily and singing along way off key to a song they absolutely love

Reading a fantastic book and just curling up as they get lost in it

Painting their nails weird colors and not caring if anybody says that it’s wrong/they shouldn’t do it

Cracking jokes/making really bad puns in class and feeling proud when people laugh

Like, just imagine

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How women prepare for first dates

Bonus: How men prepare for first dates:

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Yepp. And..when i talk to you before i go to sleep,i can fall asleep much easier..

And when i dont talk to you..its take me like forever to fall asleep. ugh im getting depressed right now,better check out tumblr a bit