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Being a girl is hard. Walking normally not sure if you’re hungry or horny. Suddenly major panic Like ‘Holy shit!! I got my period in school!!’ Then BAM panic attack AND you go check and its just like Oh I’m just wet…. Happens all the time
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so a while back this lil sleazeball kept demanding that i send him pics of my pussy, even though i wasn’t on board with the idea. instead of taking it to the principal, i got my twin bro to tuck in his dick to make it look like pussy lips and sent a pic of that to him. he still tells me that that’s his fave pic to cum to. i’m not sure if i want to tell him the truth.
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my parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly
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it’s the year 2081. facebook is now on a chip you implant into your hand that allows you to type your status in midair. twitter can be controlled with thoughts. tumblr still has the same damn video player.
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the dude who pulls out a cigarette in front of a girl with lung cancer and then acts like sir dickweed mcfucklamp when she doesn’t understand the worst metaphor on earth seems to be tumblr’s newest squeeze
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this guy in my class said his brother lost his wallet in Canada and someone shipped it back with souvenirs

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*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*
see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it
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