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We looked inside some of the posts by awstensmind and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
35K
Likes Per Post
20K
Reblog Per Post
15K
Reply Per Post
11
Time Between Posts
27 days
Number of Posts By Type
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17
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lollapalooza was everything i'd ever dreamed of. not a single person in my sight that hadn't heard of waterparks before... damn. this weekend is exactly what i needed. i'm feeling like me again.
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The dichotomy of wanting to hold him close while I pet his hair, telling them they’re my pretty boy and desperately wanting to fuck him while I shove his face down in to my mattress while I tell him what a good slut he is for me is very real.
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back where it all started. ✨first ever show and last show at warehouse live. 2012-2023. crazy how time flies.
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missed therapy with sam. good thing i'm seeing her again on saturday. regressing feels weird to me now. it helps so much, nothing quite compares to the relief i feel once i'm back to myself, it's like a weight's lifted off my shoulders. the air is easier to breathe.
I'm just not sure if it's worth it anymore...
coming back to myself is exhausting. i spend around an hour in some dissociative, hazy state of mind. nothing quite feels real. i feel bad for jawn when it lasts for more than a day, too. i know he enjoys it, but i know it's such a huge responsibility for him, both looking after me and himself. I don't want to be the reason he falls back down the hill. i want him to be okay, and if that means not regressing for while, so be it.
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for the most part, today was amazing. seeing the pure joy on your face this morning is a sight i'm gonna remember forever. i'm sure i'll talk more about it tomorrow.
right now, all i can focus on is the fact that something more is going on than you're sharing with me, because you won't even tell me that you love me. goodnight, i guess.
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i felt you slip out of my hands the second you suggested you walking home. i'm so physically exhausted from holding myself together today to seem like i'm over this sickness when i'm not. you needed me to be myself, to be there for you, to support you. i did my best but it wasn't enough tonight.
i know you're a ticking time bomb right now, but watching you walk away from me while i packed up the aftermath of our supposed date was just as devastating.
the worst of it all, is i don't even know what happened. one minute we were picturing our wedding together, the next you were a wall made of ice, threatening to poke me with an icicle if i dared to look at you.
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i am not in the right headspace to be doing this right now. i told you exactly what i needed from you and i got nothing.
we should not be doing this right now. this is so unhealthy. i told myself i'd never let sex be a distraction for problems again but that's exactly what i need it to be right now otherwise i'll just cry.
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I'm kind of... relieved? I really thought we were going to be having another conversation like that morning a little while ago. I'll admit, hearing you want to slow down has definitely taken me by surprise, especially since you were the one initiating daily blowjobs and morning sex.
what do you mean by slow down? i was already hesitant to initiate in case you didn't really want it after that last situation, and now i'm even more so :(
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not gonna have the chance to do the plans i had for our last night here, but i'm sure we'll be back soon. until next time, tennessee <3
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i always feel like i let you down when i don't understand what you're trying to tell me...
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Randomly feeling a wave of “I’m so in love with you” when someone does like the silliest shit is the best feeling
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on the verge of a anxiety attack because my heart was racing and then stopped so suddenly.
not the best feeling in the world when you get hit like a ton of bricks with the realisation that you're in love with someone who isn't in love with you.
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why do i always have to open my mouth and ruin things?
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i'm so tired and confused. i wish you could talk to me. that's all i want, to not be left in the dark, scrambling around for any glimmer of you i can find. i get it, though. you can't. you never can, but i can't be mad at you for that.
barely a week into the tour. how are we going to survive this?
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