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[awsugar]

i’m most sad about having tickets to see my favorite album played in full two nights in a row and knowing i’m not going to make it that long. and the fact i won’t even be remembered by then.

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i’m literally drafting goodbye notes to people and not sending them bc i think it would make them even more mad at me but why does it even matter if i’m going to be dead lmfao 🫡

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remember how we used to run

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yaaaaayyyyy frank posted face and while i was with all of my friends who i knew would all gasp aloud as we opened the notification sometimes life is beautiful

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i’m too depressed to enjoy anything but i cant get a therapist bc i have no health insurance starting on monday yay

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i need to leave work before i walk out and never come back i’m in the bathroom crying i want to fucking kill myself not to emo post on tumblr AGAIN but no one is answering me i have no one to reach out to i feel like i am drowning in reaponaibility that no one else will help with and no respect from anyone for everything i have to do and i don’t understand how any human could possibly take this all in stride and be ok with it i am at my breaking point and i am about to give up but i can’t live without my job bc i have no money saved so what other option is there but to die

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day 6 in a row of working 12 hours :(

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who else just experienced their first earthquake

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i’m experiencing depression i looked at my facebook memories….oh ok

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¡ frerard !

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MCR5 truthing, yeah or nah?

i’m back on nah. it’s possible it could happen someday but i think you guys gotta let it go 😭 it’s been 84 years…we’re about 4.5 years since the reunion was announced, SEVEN years since they decided to try it again, almost 2 years since foundations, over a year since the tour ended…there is no album 😭 gerard is writing a new comic, frank is breaking my heart by dedicating himself to dunes which is not his heart (turn ur phone off or give me a dall), ray toro is polishing his tesla, mikey is becoming a homesteader who bakes inedible bread, it’s not something they’re focused on. if they give any indication in the future, closer to the shows or a new tour that they’re working on something i’m not gonna deny the signs if they’re there! but rn? we gotta let it go…

[awsugar]

you could get two music videos for songs that don’t have videos but you have to get rid of two existing music videos. What are you picking?

sorry for the controversial opinion. i think heaven help us and deathwish (regardless of being some of my fave songs) could have killllleerrrr music videos just based on the imagery of the songs like i think gerard could have reeeeeaallly cooked with those.

and what would i get rid of? kids from yesterday 🫢 and i don’t love you. or maybe planetary instead of kids. idk, neither of them are like. super intentional big budget mvs the way we are used to getting from mcr, kids has never been a song that i loved, i know i’m sorry. the footage is good yes but i think it’s footage that’s most available elsewhere? and like i just prefer like something more. planetary is fun, and i LOVE the song, but that one feels like they just wanted to do something quick. you know.

[awsugar]

best mcr songs and why

ok well my top 5: heaven help us, boy division, deathwish, vampires, famous last words

only the first two are in specific order

heaven help us has been my favorite mcr song for a looooooong time and it’s like. MY song. everyone i know knows what is my song. when i listen to it in the car, before the tour even started, i envision myself on barricade hearing it live and i CRY!! every time, like i’ve cried in a full face of makeup listening to heaven help us on the way to work multiple times. it’s the best….it’s everything. the first time they played it live on tour in europe my friend who i had never spoken to on the phone before CALLED ME AT WORK to tell me about it and i had to go hyperventilate in the bathroom. i held out hope all tour hoping i would get ut at one of my shows and i DIDNT!!! when tour was like over and they played it twice in la i literally was sitting in my bed SOBBING! at like 2am on the east coast…but listen i’m putting out the energy for them to play it at wwwy….surely they will have the time to play the bsides! or at least one of them. i’m serious like ok yes, hearing tbp live in full twice is going to change the trajectory of my life all over again!! i cant even imagine me and all my friends together hearing the heart monitor start without thinking well surely someone is going to projectile vomit…like. it’s that. it’s that serious. i’m going to rethink and grace and shit my pants and cry and scream and i may need to be airlifted out of the las vegas festival grounds. but heaven help us….i cant die until i get heaven help us!!

boy division just. fuck. it slays. i remember when it leaked. like the night before it came out there was a preview of it on like german amazon or something 😭 and i remember i kept listening to those 30 seconds over and over again and CRYING!!!! like sobbing, if i could get my og macbook to turn on i have really embarrassing pics of myself bawling on photo booth FHDEIKEK. but also i remember thinking, when it came out, i ALWAYS thought like oh my god this is going to go so hard live. SO HARD. and then they broke up and every single time i listened to it i thought about how we would never get to hear it live and what a damn fucking shame that was. and then they reunited and i went to the shrine and they played make room and i was like ooooooh. well now there is a REAL chance that i could hear boy division one day. i manifested it for the 2.5 years between that show and the tour and when i saw the eden 1 setlist leak before the show and boy division was on it i actually like almost shat in the office at work. and then yes they played it at my first show on the tour mk1 and like at least half of my shows on the tour i swear i made that happen by sheer force of will.

deathwish. just always been one of my favorites, it goes SO hard, it’s so fun to sing, it really like the melody of it just pulls on my heart it tugs it makes me so melancholy so. i don’t even know what feelings it invokes it just makes me FEEL. this big bubble in my chest. and the lyrics are so good like it’s really a quintessential mcr song for me. no one else writes music like that.

vampires is just like. idk the iconic. the first single. it “locked in that darkness” i remember when they played it for the first time in philly, bc we were all camping for albany which was the next night and we were watching the stream around a someone macbook in the queue and when vampires started ohhhh it was over!!! they played it at my first show in 2011 and even though i have like a horrible memory especially for my childhood/teenage years and i don’t REMEMBER my first mcr show i always like remembered the fact that vampires was like the best live performance of a song i’d ever heard, and i have been to a LOT of shows and i’ve seen a LOT of bands and vampires never fails!

and flw, listen…i know people like to hate on it!!! idgaf. it will never get old. i will never tire of it. it will never not hit me so hard. i remember being a depressed teenager and laying in bed at night not able to sleep just listening to flw over and over and over in order to make it through. plus hearing the crowd sing the bridge at every show ever…it’s the most magical thing in the world to me!!!!

[awsugar]

MACCKKKK :DDDDDDD

helllooo!!!!! what’s up how are you….how is everyone holding up on their belief in mcr5 these days,…