axmxz

[axmxz]

vaseline on the lens? what do you think this is, Cannes?

very big fan of when shows put wigs on actors and say ‘yeah. That’s him when he was younger fuck you’. No anti aging ai, no teen actor hired. Just. The same guy with a fuckass wig

[axmxz]

"I'm just a swirl" -ice cream cone who uses TikTok

[axmxz]

highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

[axmxz]

something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

[axmxz]

no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

[axmxz]

the Ice War on Europa...

[axmxz]

men will do anything and everything before admitting they fucked up their own design

i think the reason a lot of men are screaming, puking, and crying about this is bc it forces them to acknowledge that the reason they can’t get women to like them is not actually bc of their physique but bc of their shitty personality

[axmxz]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[axmxz]

A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.

[axmxz]

[axmxz]

🤗 i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.

🫂 i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.

[axmxz]

[axmxz]

[axmxz]

My friends who just got their first glasses: i need this highly expensive special cloth to wipe them, I also have this eyeglass cleaner from the same company, did you know you shouldn't use your t shirt unless it's specifically soft

Me who's worn glasses since middle school: *slaps soap onto the glasses and washes them in the sink then wipes them with toilet paper* what

[axmxz]

this heat is crazy

[axmxz]

Sea Silk?

Ok, I did not know there were bivalves that created spinnable fiber.

I certainly did not have "Free-diving grandmother harvesting, spinning, and weaving fiber from clams" on my Bingo card today. But I am delighted!

[axmxz]