axophyllic

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who up dinking they oiter

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You’re wearing your monocle in the gay eye btw

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who up dinking they oiter

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when white ppl use the white emojis:

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I;m to hi

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You're so cool, please never get cancer.

I’ll try

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his greed sickens me

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baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards

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Saw this ridiculous villager kid once

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it's kind of sad that we don't really do custom ringtones anymore. most people just stick with the default list that comes with your phone, if they change it at all. if they're even aware they can change it at all. like yeah, people letting their phones ring in public is obnoxious, but wouldn't it be a little less obnoxious if it was something funny? or personal? people used to change the text tone of every contact so every time they got a text they knew who it was just from the sound. isn't that sweet? isn't that nice? don't you miss it? don't you want to scream when you hear that stupid apple pa-Ting!??? we could have a chorus of awoogas and clips of people's favorite songs and recordings saying '(blank) IS CALLING, WARNING, (blank) IS CALLING' and all things considered i would prefer that over pa-Ting!, pa-Ting!, pa-Ting!, whistle whistle, pa-Ting!

anyway im going to change my ringtone to the oldschool skype call sound and nobody will ever hear it because my phone is always on silent but i'll know. i'll know

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hm yes i like this character. now shoot him 5 times in a parking lot.

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“hey i don’t bite”—the biter

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* (Oh, these parentheses I keep opening?

* (I'm collecting them.

* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.

* (Oh, my precious parentheses... (I don't ever want to close them!