ayanamitype

[ayanamitype]

evaswrath:

( kyu. )

              “ … ”

The answer that query is on the tip of Asuka’s tongue, but she wouldn’t dare spitting the truth like this. Not only because it’s difficult, but she refuses to let the First see through her like that.

              “ You cared. ” Asuka repeated in a taunting way, a daring brow arched up. “ I brought you because I thought that’s what Captain would want, ” She’s lying through her teeth, “ That’s it, alright? ”

What a joke. Why is she bothering with elaborating answers for Kyu?

Fourteen years, that’s how long she’s been without catching sight of the other. And now that the Second is back, Asuka’s started doubting her emotional independence. She doesn’t want to depend on anyone, for nothing, ever. Because the only time she did, the world almost went down the role.

              “ I do. ” She said. “ I mean it. I hate you, I don’t know why you are here, or why Misato agreed to keep you in here. I dread your existence. So why do you want to depend on me? ” 

     “Because I do not have anyone else to depend on,” Ayanami says. “I cannot even depend on myself.” It sounds like a desperate lie, but it’s true in a sense- what Kyu has been, up until Asuka connected with her, was a mold into which Gendo poured his orders. Ayanami feels them still sometimes, lurking beneath the surface, telling her that home is NERV and here is where the enemy is. 

     Only that isn’t true, or she doesn’t want to believe it is. She wants to believe Asuka can help her, if only because those compulsions seem to leave her when Asuka is around. But it doesn’t seem like Asuka is willing to help, and Ayanami won’t force her to. To do otherwise would be a betrayal of what little trust Ayanami thought they’d had. “I understand, then,” she whispers, and turns away. “I will leave you alone, Shikinami.”

[ayanamitype]

Wrote this for Kyu’s contribution in @thiirdboy‘s Hunger Games

She has blood on her hands, blood that belongs to a boy that looked no older than her. From the lack of the cannons that fire by nightfall, Kyu can tell she’s the only one with this mark upon her. She’s set herself apart, unintentionally, as the sole killer of them all.

She remembers frightened eyes, the feeble tugging of hands in her shirt as the life drained out of the boy. She doesn’t remember his name- just that he came from Ten, and his token, a hat, stood out like a beacon amidst the treeline. She recalls fleeing into the forest like everyone else, running from the fighting and the shouting until it was far too dark for her to tell where she was. But even then, Kyu knows.

She’s in the arena. She’s alone, as she was promised she would never be again. 

She wants to go home.

In the morning, someone comes after her. Kyu doesn’t see much other than blue (blue?) eyes and a streak of red hair, and it’s enough for her to flee higher into the hills. She thinks it’s the girl she left behind at home, come to chase her down for the sin of murder. For a fleeting moment, Kyu wants to stop running, wants to let this other catch her and spill her blood out on the earth, and that’ll be the end, and her atonement.

She slows, and her step catches on a rise in the rock. With a scream, she tumbles down the hillside, and is lost from her pursuer’s sight. 

The descent is violent, and it throws her from the forest into a clearing lined with trees. Kyu’s face is scratched, her ankle sprained, and there are others right in front of her- she’s tumbled right into an enemy camp. But they don’t seem to know that she’s the one who spilled first blood. All they see is a scared, injured girl, and it works to her advantage. They take her in that night, and as they sit around a meager fire, the two others talk of home.

Kyu doesn’t speak of home. She tries not to think of it. She tries not to think of blue eyes and red hair, and arms that will reach out to kill her, rather than embrace her.

They part ways in the morning. Alliances don’t last longer than hours; those that do threaten to become friendships, and those tend to get fatal, fast. Kyu limps into the forest, her injured leg stepping heavily into the soft dirt.

It’s no wonder that she gets tracked down so fast. 

This time she can’t shake off her attacker. This time he tracks her, corners her between a fallen log and a cliff face, and all Kyu can see is her reflection gazing desperately back at her in the blade of his knife.

She doesn’t resist. It’s almost a comforting release. She won’t have to go back home and find out whether she’s hated now, or loved. She won’t have to return with hands stained red. She can fall asleep here in the trees, where she’ll dream of blue eyes and red hair and the softness of love upon her lips.

[ayanamitype]

evaswrath:

( kyu. )

Yes, a pet. Did she stutter? Asuka snorts.

              “ You are Rei, ” She’s not. “ You’re Commander Ikari’s pet, you ARE Ayanami Rei! An emotionless, good for nothing, pet! ” She isn’t Ayanami Rei, she knows that. “ If you aren’t Rei, then who are you? ”

It’s easier that way, to repeat it until the other finally accepts it. There’s no mental instability within Asuka to handle such emotional burden. There’s no way someone can depend on her other than for her battling skills, she can’t help it but find it unsettling. She can’t be the one to deal with this… With her… With Kyu.

A glare is shot to the girl’s hand, and with a hasty movement, the second child pulled her hand away from that grip that isn’t that much cold anymore.

              “ It doesn’t matter, ” Her arms are crossed now, “ Why do you care anyway? Just forget about it already. ”

    “You do not believe that,” Ayanami murmurs, but it sounds like she believe what Asuka’s said. It makes sense that no one would want to be near her. It would explain why Ikari fled from her, why the Commander sent her on a mission that was supposed to be suicide. No one has a use for her now, not even Asuka. Asuka’s withdrawal is evidence enough of that.

    “I cared because I believed you did,” she says, taking a step away from Asuka. For the first time since she’s left NERV, Ayanami doesn’t feel like Ayanami. She feels like just another clone, and that Asuka’s made sure she knows it. It’s the same thing that she felt as the Third Child left her, and- yes, she’s sure of it now- Asuka is going to leave her now, too. “Why did you bring me here?” Red eyes drift dejectedly toward the ground, brows furrowing sadly. “If you did not believe I had a future, why did you save me?”

    Ayanami doesn’t expect an answer. She turns her back on Asuka, staring blankly at the mass of bodies in the halls. Without Asuka to guide her, she’ll have to wander through that, a foreboding mass of humanity that she’s woefully unequipped for. She feels the emotion she’s most familiar with creeping up on her- fear- and turns to look at Asuka again. “Shikinami? Do you mean it?”

[ayanamitype]

evaswrath:

Her teeth grit at the sound of Kyu’s voice. How dense one must be to not realize their presence is unrequited? Years of living in this forsaken ship added to the pilot’s strong personality somehow. She stopped altogether at the last request, taking a moment before slowly glancing over the shoulder.

                 “ Where I’m going is none of your business, ” The sharpness within her voice mirrored the one in her single eye. “ Believe it or not, this ship is big enough for both of us. That means we don’t have to meet at all. ” Ruthless, but that’s exactly what she’s become. “ Go be someone’s pet or something. Maybe captain’s, she’s the one who agreed on taking you in. ” 

But that’s not entirely true, Asuka is the one who brought Kyu along, for some crazy. Clear reasoning outside battle is something she’s lost touch with. Tragic, really. Perhaps this action can be justified by nostalgia. Maybe, just maybe, she  wants a good memory back, but this is not Rei. This is not the one she once cared for.

     “Pet?” Ayanami blinks, misses a single step that sends her scurrying to catch up with Asuka. “I am no one’s pet,” she murmurs, more to herself than for the benefit of Asuka. “I am me. I am... not Rei.” Just a month ago, hearing that she wasn’t Rei would’ve sent Ayanami into a spiraling depression; now, it’s one of the things she holds on to dearly. She isn’t Rei, and Asuka’s confirmed this for her. She’s someone else- 

    Someone that Asuka still doesn’t want to be around. Ayanami wonders just what it would take for Asuka to appreciate her company, and not just shrug her off like this. “You are the one who led me here. Therefore, I will continue to follow you.” And anyway, it’s not like the other areas of the Wunder have use for a rogue Ayanami-type. Ayanami knows, from the looks she gets in the halls, that there are still some aboard that nurse fierce grudges for anyone who was affiliated with NERV, and that near Asuka is the safest place to be.

     “Shikinami?” Ayanami briefly loses sight of her in a snarl of people and uniforms. When she glimpses Asuka on the other side of the sea of bodies, Ayanami darts through them, using her tendency to go unnoticed to her advantage. She comes out of the crowd, grasping at Asuka’s arm. “Why do you act like this? You were not this way in the desert.”

[ayanamitype]

     Ayanami has been waiting for Asuka for... she doesn’t quite know how long. Weeks upon months of waiting for orders in the silence of NERV have skewed Ayanami’s sense of time’s passing, but she knows it can’t be more than a few hours. That’s how long the average sync test takes, plus a few minutes for Asuka to get the LCL washed off her body.

     Footsteps ring out from nearby. Ayanami turns and glimpses Asuka walking past, her mouth curved downward. She keeps going, pretending like she hasn’t seen Ayanami- or maybe she really hasn’t; after all, she does have a blind spot that takes up half her field of vision. Ayanami hurries after Asuka, taking two steps for each of hers.

     “Shikinami?” she calls. “Where are you going?” Ayanami dodges a WILLE soldier headed the opposite direction and continues on. Surely Asuka can’t be ignoring her, right? “Shikinami, wait.”

Nothing sounds more absurd than thinking about the word ‘calming’. Using it held an even heavier prospect that you have gone insane. But maybe that’s it, maybe she’s lost it, and not even anxiety can get to you anymore - nothing affects her for real it’s been years.

Regardless, it is in the silence of the plug’s entry that the second child finds comfort in this sensation akin to calmness. It doesn’t last long ( for her disdan ), and the test is over with no abnormalities in its results. Just as expected.

But one thing she did not expect.

why is she here?

A single blue hue lays upon that form, the Ayanami-type that was rescued, and she can’t help but wonder…  Why did Captain take her in? Certainly, she has plans for the girl; Katsuragi isn’t the kind woman she used to be years ago, there has to be a deeper meaning to this decision. Asuka has no time for all this wondering, let alone paying her any attention - because it means she’s acknowledging the other. And that is what she wishes not to do. With firm steps and a soft scowl that escaped her lips, the scarlet pilot simply walked away.

@ayanamitype

[ayanamitype]

      “I do not see anything, either.” Ayanami looked around, carefully slipping her arms around Asuka’s and clinging to her. This place that they had been sent to- Silent Hill- was too similar to NERV’s old facility for her own liking. Perhaps it was the fog, or the general state of disrepair, but this place was making her feel uneasy. 

     “Maybe this is the wrong place.” Ayanami began pulling Asuka back the direction they had came from, eager to leave the town. “Perhaps Katsuragi gave you the wrong coordinates. I do not believe she would send us some place like this.” I want to leave. 

     Ayanami peered around Asuka’s shoulder, eyeing the map between her hands. No, that line of thought was just that- wishful thinking. This had to be the right place, and Ayanami would not let Asuka explore it alone. “If this is the correct location, I wish to explore it quickly. Something is wrong here.” 

(( This is a closed starter for @ayanamitype ))

Asuka let out an aggravated huff, blue eyes scanning the map endlessly. Really, she didn’t know why she even bothered checking it - the thick fog made reading street signs nearly impossible anyway, not to mention so many of the roads were just… gone. It was almost like this place had been ravaged by Angel battles in the past - but then, why send them here if it was just some debris-ridden ghost town?

Asuka turned her attention back to Kyu, offering her arm to the other female as she spoke. “The meeting place is supposed to be around here, but… Well, I certainly don’t see anything. Figures that Misato would send us on some stupid goose chase…“

Silent Hill, meanwhile, was eerily still and quiet, matching its name perfectly. Unbeknownst to the two pilots, their minds were being rooted through, as the town searched for something juicy to torment them with. Really, it almost didn’t know where to start! Let’S TRy SEParaTIng ThEM, pERhAps… For mORe ROom to PLAY…

[ayanamitype]

     It hurt, Asuka’s hand on her shoulder. But maybe that was better. It made Ayanami feel. “Why must you insist on staying?” she asked. “Even if I am not replaceable, I am the least important of your worries. There are things you must do, and...” Ayanami sighed softly, reliquishing her hold on Asuka and leaning into her. “Very well. You are more stubborn than I. You may stay.”

     Ayanami’s eyes slowly began to close, her energy drained by this confrontation. She pushed at Asuka again, gently guiding her back toward the bed. “If I am honest, I want you to stay, Asuka.” 

    Something akin to irritation began to build up and it took every scrap of patience to keep from barking. Despite Kyu’s sincere concern, rejection still tasted bitter, it stung after all: Asuka’s not satisfied. A single blue hue stared up, effortlessly attempting to read the girl’s expression. Asuka scoffed. “I can’t stay?” regardless of the requests, assertive fingers gripped at the girl’s upper arms, tightly, no intentions of moving away were offered; Kyu has to know that she’s hurt Asuka.

  “I don’t CARE.” she does. “They can wait. I just can’t…bring myself to believe that you want me to leave.” the grip is so tight, that Asuka knows it’ll leave bruises. “Can’t I be selfish…? I don’t want to go.”

[ayanamitype]

     You are hurting her. Ayanami froze, her body held in place by Asuka’s arms while her heart began to beat rapidly. Do not. This is what you wished to avoid. “You... you cannot stay,” she protested weakly. “You cannot be attached to me. You must defeat NERV. You must worry about your missions.” She tried to pull away from Asuka, but her body wouldn’t respond. Warm. Asuka is warm, like the sun. 

     “Please let me go.” Ayanami brought her arms up to Asuka’s shoulders and pushed, and yet she gained no ground between them. “There are others, who will not have as many questions as I do. You have Makinami and Ikari to care for. They are more important than I am. Please do not trouble yourself for me.” Ayanami looked up, meeting Asuka’s eyes. “You are important, Shikinami. You must not be distracted.” Her excuses were getting thinner and thinner. “Please... there are others.” 

       ‘I shouldn’t stay? I should leave? I should… I should… I should…’ Asuka heard that on a loop for a few seconds, her gaze showed nothing but emptiness for a moment. Maybe… It’s personal. ‘Maybe she really doesn’t want me to stay. Maybe I’m… being pretentious, again.’

       Despite her lack of confidence right now, Asuka saw right through Kyu’s words. And life SPARKLED in her eye, anger, to be precise. With a violent TUG, Asuka had her wrist free from the First’s grip and promptly walked up to her with DETERMINATION. Asuka had to do something, she’s panicking internally, not like that’ll stop her from stopping this NONSENSE.

       Kyu feels WARM despite her cold exterior, Asuka notices, as her arms are tightly draped around the girl’s frail frame in a hug. “Will you please SHUT IT? Who do you think you are…” her tone dropped a little. “who do you think you are? Telling me what I should and not do? Saying that you can be replaced, even when I told you the opposite a moment ago?” she sounded more hurt than angry by now, and won’t pull away so easily. “What’s that for…? Don’t push me away…”

    “I feel lonely. Don’t push me away, I… I’m so tired!”

[ayanamitype]

     “You should not stay.” Ayanami turned her face to the ground, her bangs drooping over and hiding her eyes. She will not see me like this. I will give her no reason to feel sympathy. “There is no reason for you to stay. I have been given a name. You must convey it to Katsuragi. I am in perfect health. As I am a prisoner, you should not be here for an extended period of time.” 

     Reasons spilled from her mouth, each sounding increasingly desperate. Please leave. Please do not attach yourself to me. I do not wish to harm you. “I overestimated my own need for companionship. I was fine before at NERV. I will be fine here, Shikinami. I am sure Ikari will be a better companion for you, since you have known him longer.” 

     Or perhaps not- he’s little more than a shell now. Ayanami shook that thought from her mind and continued to hold her hand out for Asuka. There will be more. They will need companionship. You should not be selfish and assume Asuka for your own. Her hands are wrapped around Asuka’s wrist, trying to tug her from the bed. I was fine alone. I will be fine alone. I do not need. I should not need. 

       Wasn’t everything alright just now? She can’t help it but sit up in reflex to Kyu abandoning the bed so suddenly, leaving the Second with a puzzled expression on her face, trying to take in all of those questions at once.

       Her eye flickered from that hand extended at her back to Kyu’s eyes. For Asuka’s further distress, she couldn’t figure out what the First is thinking, but she did catch on how her knees were shaking.

    “Hah…” Asuka’s shoulders dropped, completely disregarding Kyu’s hand at her “You know, I was about to say that it’s something personal, that people don’t want me around, but...” she paused, gaze completely focused on the other. “Why are you pushing me away if you want me to stay? That’s my thing, pushing people away, not your’s and not like this.”

[ayanamitype]

     “I... understand.” That wasn’t true; Ayanami didn’t understand fully, but she was beginning to. No two skies are the same, just as none of us will be. But by that analogy, no one seemed to notice the difference between one sunset and another- and that, Ayanami thought, would be true of her. If she were to vanish, and Asuka were to bring another Ayanami-type back to WILLE... would anything really be different? 

     “Asuka?” she whispered again, closing her eyes. She didn’t want to see Asuka’s reaction to this, not even in her periphery. Ayanami already thought she knew the answer she would receive, but she wished to confirm it. “I am not Rei. I am Kyu. If I disappear and there is another of ‘me’, will she be Kyu as well? And if I disappear... will it matter?” 

     No. Of course it will not. There are more. There will always be more. Ayanami sat up suddenly, shaking her head. “I am sorry. I already know the answer to such questions. I am wasting your time.” She looked up, her gaze passing over Asuka and fixating on the door. It will be better for her not to be attached to me. If there will be more of me, I should not allow her to become used to one.

     Ayanami jumped from the bed, narrowly passing over Asuka’s body. She caught herself on unsteady legs and extended a hand, intending to help Asuka to her feet. “Thank you for visiting, Shikinami. I will be fine from now on. Please do not worry about me any longer.” 

    Asuka sighed with a noticeable satisfaction once she’s settled on the mattress beside Kyu. This is far from comfortable, but that’s something she can think about LATER; at least she’s not the one sleeping here tonight.

     Just like the blue haired girl, the pilot kept her gaze up, silently staring at the ceiling, her hands joined over the stomach; it’s needless to say that she’s clueless about this new scenario. Yeah, staring at the ceiling seemed like a good idea, a GREAT idea actually. However, this plan lived shortly, and her gaze fell on Kyu once that hushed and calm voice called for her attention.

     That’s a stupid question, and Asuka was about to speak out those thoughts, though upon second thought, Asuka ought to do some thinking. Kyu’s questions carried sincere CURIOSITY, something completely GENUINE, and Asuka couldn’t bring herself to be an asshole right now. 

     Asuka, after searching through her memories, recalled how Rei would always stay in NERV’s facilities or alone inside her miserable apartment unless she’s given a strict order to not to. Maybe… just maybe, Kyu never had the opportunity to see a sunrise or sunset, not when the world is like this and you can be ‘replaced’ at any moment. That thought alone left an empty sensation in her stomach, a void, how cruel. 

    “Yeah, it does. Every day and night, it’s quite pretty, actually.” spoke Asuka in an equally hushed voice, perhaps to match the conversation’s flow? She could also explain it from a scientific point, regarding the second question, but that wasn’t the moment. “Because every day is different from the other, no matter how hard you try, no day will be the same as the other. It’s only fair for the nights to be different, just like you aren’t the same as the others.” Asuka hoped this would suffice, and apprehension could be seen in her gaze for a split second before awkwardly returning to gaze the ceiling. 

[ayanamitype]

      “You are Shikinami, are you not?” Ayanami tilts her head to the side and blinks slowly. “Asuka Shikinami Langley. The Second Child. Pilot of Unit-02.” She leans closer, eyes narrowing only slightly. “No... you are different.” She seems genuinely surprised, though in her distress she could not be faulted for forgetting such a detail. “Your eyes... you do not have an eyepatch. You are not her. But you say you are not... like me.”

     Ayanami staggers backward, towards the entrance. Her mind races as quickly as her heartbeat; this is an occurrence she was never given orders for. There are no alarms, so this Asuka cannot be an Angel. And yet she is not Shikinami. She speaks again, voice trembling with fear. “Who are you?” 

    ♛ “Wait…” mutters Asuka, dropping the concerned expression to furrow her brow for a moment as she questions a single word that Ayanami has just uttered. “Shikinami? Who… Ayanami,” she contiunes, balling a fist of FRUSTRATION at her side. It isn’t like the First Child to forget things like this. Come to think of it, though, she looks incredibly different — or at least her plugsuit does. What else would that entail, though? 

    “You know my name is Asuka. Who the hell is Shikinami?”

[ayanamitype]

     “Yes, Shi- Asuka.” This change in how she addressed Asuka would take a while, but Ayanami would get used to it. If it kept Asuka by her side, she would learn. She shuffled over until her shoulder touched the wall, leaving what she hoped was adequate room for Asuka to lie down. 

     Ayanami quickly found she had no idea what to do in this situation. Looking at Asuka for such a prolonged period felt wrong; staring in the opposite direction at the wall might give her the wrong impression. Ayanami instead stared up at the ceiling, the bright florescent light burning her eyes, which she averted to the tiles (193 of them, she’d counted them many times before). 

     “Asuka?” Ayanami didn’t realize she had spoken until she heard her own voice. There was nothing she wanted to say or ask- she just wanted to hear something besides the silence, proof that Asuka was truly there of her own volition, and not because of someone’s orders. Try to speak to her. If she will speak, then she will not leave. 

     “Asuka?" she repeated. “When we were in the desert... the sun... does it always do that? Rise and fall? I understand it does, but the sky... it is always different when that happens. Why? Why is it not the same... like I am?” 

    Her lone eye followed the other, silently observing as the blue haired girl laid down. Something to their brief silence surprisingly didn’t bother Asuka; it is rather comforting.

“Asuka.” the pilot promptly interrupted her. “That’s what I asked you to call me, don’t make me repeat myself again.” sure, Asuka could’ve sounded nicer, but that’s not her forte and Kyu knows it. It takes her a certain amount of self control to not just sigh at Kyu’s simple and ENDEARING request. So it’s company what the girl craves… That’s also something that the Asuka desires, to feel like her presence is wanted. 

The corners of her lips threatened to tug up into a smile, but years of bitterness really paid off, it was quite easy to to hide her feelings to not seem desperate like her younger self. “If you INSIST, I guess it won’t hurt to hang out with you some more.” damn, that did sound desperate. “When I’m not busy. Like right now.”

 “Scoot over.” demanded Asuka whilst already moving to lay beside the girl.

[ayanamitype]

     “I... see.” Of course Asuka would be busy. She would have duties, just like Ayanami had duties when she was at NERV. There was no time for Asuka to spend talking to someone for purposes other than her missions, especially to a prisoner. All this made logical sense, and yet it still hurt Ayanami to think of it. 

      She shifted away from Asuka, lying lengthwise across her bed and reaching for the pillow that WILLE had issued her. It wasn’t anything special, but it was at least softer than what she had been given at NERV. Ayanami was grateful to have it, to be here. Yes. That’s right. I am here. I do not need anything more. 

     And yet, she did. Ayanami wanted to see the outside, wanted to be- friends, she thought it was called; Ayanami wanted someone who would be to her like SEELE’s child was to Shinji, who would smile at her as if she was something that could not be replaced. But that will not happen, because that is not true. 

     “Thank you for your company, Shikinami,” she said softly. “It has... been enjoyable. If you perhaps complete your assignments with time to spare, do you think you could visit sometime?” Ayanami tried to keep her voice level, but an inkling of desperation snuck in there somehow. She didn’t want to be alone again. She liked being around Asuka. It made her feel like she was something more than just a prisoner. 

Why was she being thanked for something that many wouldn’t? Despite being an attention seeker, people didn’t seem fond of her presence, and only remained around as long as it mandatory. Asuka couldn’t deny it, she was confused, but not SURPRISED. No, not after seeing for herself how Ayanami had changed. 

    “Just Asuka is fine,” spoke Asuka, awkwardly joining her hands after the elbows were rested over the thighs. “we don’t need for it to be more awkward than it already is.” even though she had muttered the last part, it was silent enough to be sure that Kyu had heard, too. 

The pilot’s body tensed up at the touch, and she had to suppress her urge to move away. When you spend 14 years with someone who assaults you, you tend to become wary of proximity. A deep breath was taken and Asuka slowly eased her hands from gripping one another.

But it wasn’t the closure or how odd this situation felt that made Asuka hold her breath, no. It was that question. As she thought of an answer, a snarky one, Asuka could feel a knot forming on her throat. The sincerity within those words was so genuine that Asuka had to bite back a choke. 

    “I don’t know.” she lied. “I don’t have the time to think about that, I…” she wanted to shrug, but Kyu was resting there. She avoided those red eyes at all costs. “I have a lot to do, I can’t focus on me. People… depend on me.”  she wasn’t lying all together there, through those years she’s learned how easy it was to allow exhaustion to consume her and just sleep after a rough day. Easier than thinking about herself.

Slowly, Asuka leaned her head against Kyu’s, a heavy sigh escaped her lips in an attempt to relax; that didn’t stop her hands from gripping one another once again.

[ayanamitype]

     “Going to what?” Ayanami wonders aloud. What was I going to do? She cannot rebel against Ikari by herself, nor is she willing to subject the others to her sort of existence. Perhaps she had wanted to bring the rusted walls of her shack upon herself, and let that be her rest, but then she would just be replaced. There is no winning against Ikari. 

     “I do not know what I was going to do, Shikinami. I simply... felt.”      

     Ayanami looks away, though she notices the presence of Asuka’s hand in hers. It’s warm, possibly the only warm thing in this place. She hopes Asuka will overlook how she clings to it in an attempt to find some sort of comfort. 

     “They are asleep,” Ayanami says in a whisper, confirming Asuka’s thoughts. “If I die, one of them will wake up and replace me, as I once replaced someone else.” She looks back at Asuka, red eyes boring into blue. Ayanami will not look away; this is one of the few things that will calm her now- those familiar eyes. Even if Asuka is now allied with NERV’s enemies, she is still a fellow pilot. 

     “I found them by accident.” The words spill from her mouth in a rapid flood. “Today. Just before you found me. All of them… me.” 

[ayanamitype]

     “Thank you... for staying.” Ayanami shifted those final inches, her shoulder bumping against Asuka’s. She leaned over, resting her head against Asuka’s neck. Just this simple contact was comforting to her, almost as comforting as being given a name. She didn’t expect Asuka to allow this contact for long, but for the moment, she was content. 

     “I am not Rei,” she confirmed. A strange statement, for sure- she’d been told that was who she was for most of her existence, and only now was she beginning to shake off that mantle. “I am Kyu.” She smiled softly, directing her eyes upward at Asuka’s. “I do not wish to return to Ikari’s side. I would like to avoid that... at all costs.” 

     And yet, just because she did not want to be used by Ikari any longer, that did not mean Ayanami couldn’t do something for Asuka. There were no Evangelions to spare, nor did she have useful information... but maybe she could just be. Asuka seemed to be acting strangely, in a manner different from that she had shown in the desert. 

     “Shikinami?” Ayanami tilted her head inquisitively. “Are you... lonely often? If it does not trouble you... you could continue to visit me here.” She shifted her eyes away. “I enjoy being able to talk with you.” 

She wanted to say something sarcastic, to point out how this is the most she’s heard Rei… No, Kyu, speak. It’ll be difficult to assimilate that this isn’t Rei, not anymore, thankfully. Instead, Asuka sighs softly while settling next to the blue haired girl, searching for the right words before her lips would part.

“You would return because,” started Asuka, strangely calm, “that’s what Rei would do. She’s crazy for Gendo, and wouldn’t hesitate to die for him and his crazy ass orders.” Asuka carefully eyed Kyu, was she threading this correctly? “You’re not Ayanami Rei, no more. I’m… glad.” she admitted. 

“…” she looked away, shoulders rolling up to offer a shrug at the girl. “I wouldn’t mind to stay if you’re that desperate for company, that is.” that’s all that Asuka managed to say after being shown loneliness. Yes, that’s a feeling she knows quite well, and no, she doesn’t wish for this new person to be alone. And, conveniently, Asuka wouldn’t be lonely for a moment, too.

“I’ll stay here… yeah.” spoke Asuka, quietly, before her gaze averted elsewhere, anywhere away from Kyu. Asuka too was desperate for company, but that she wouldn’t admit. 

[ayanamitype]

     There was a girl on the floor. Ayanami blinked slowly, staring at her. Blue hair. A different plugsuit. Came from Unit-01. Her mind quickly pieced together the answer. My original. 

     Ayanami tore her arm free of the soldier holding it and ran across the tiles. Moving with such urgency was foreign to her, and she was able to keep upright just long enough to reach Rei’s side, where she fell to her knees next to the other girl. Her hands reached out, nervously touching Rei’s shoulder, then shaking when she proved to be immobile. 

     “Ayanami... Rei?” Ayanami continued to try and rouse her double, oblivious to the WILLE personnel around her. This was the Rei that Shinji had wanted. If they could reunite the two, perhaps he could be appeased? “You must awaken. Ikari needs you.” 

Rei Meets Rei?

The last impact was stopped thanks to a series of quick events. Now everything has stopped, and the trio of Rei Q, Shinji and Asuka made it back to Misato’s ship. There is where they locked up Shinji again, for what he did. It was obvious, and everyone was pissed. Rei? They didn’t do anything to her, but left her in the hallway. Even Asuka didn’t seem to care for her. Suddenly, alarms began to ring. Something was happening in the room where Unit 01 was being held. All the cameras were taken off. Something was causing it, and Misato quickly told soldiers to go check it out. One of the men grabbed Rei Q, telling her that they had to keep an eye on her at all times, so she had to come. Once they got inside the room, someone was on the middle of the floor. A girl with blue hair, a white plug suit… just laying there. It was the original Rei. She was not moving whats so ever. “………………”

[ayanamitype]

     Asuka was... staying? Ayanami blinked slowly, surveying the girl on the opposite end of the bed. Her and that question. It wasn’t a bad question, but it was odd. “Why... would I want to return?” she whispered, shifting her gaze downward. “He sent me to die. I would have died, if you did not intervene.” Her fingers curled up into her hand, which began to tremble. “I was expendable. But you... do not seem to think so.” 

     Ayanami inched nearer to Asuka, the distance between them vanishing. “I would not go back,” she said. “He did not care for me. The only way I would return is if there is... another of me... and we could retrieve her as well.” Ayanami nodded, affirming her statement. “Yes. But as the chances of that are minimal, then no, I do not see myself returning.” 

     Her red eyes lifted at last, lingering on Asuka. “You said... you were going to see Katsuragi. Yet you remain here, with me. Is there... something else you need?” Her voice grew even quieter. “Will you stay with me a little longer, Shikinami? I... don’t want to be alone.” 

     Ayanami blinked slowly at Asuka, tilting her head at the sound of her new name. “Kyu,” she repeated. That made sense- Rei piloted Unit-00, and she piloted Mark.09. A good name, then. 

     Ayanami looked down, her mouth twisting strangely as she tried to imitate an expression she’d seen before, on the Third Child. Happy. What was happiness to her? There was no definite moment in her life that Ayanami could classify as happy; the only time she had even come close to feeling anything positive was when she was drifting in her tank of LCL. Is this happiness? 

     Yes, Ayanami decided, it was. At last she managed to mimic the expression, and she smiled at Asuka. “Yes. I am happy.” There was something else that should be said in situations like this. “Thank you, Shikinami,” she added.