ayomaya

[ayomaya]

Lifes on a hell ride

Year 2006 2007 … I fell in love deeply with a classmate and she used me to the core ..threw me away like a waste paper…

Year 2016 … it took me almost 10 yrs to fall in love again… this time around we both got attracted to each other.. she liked me for what i am and what i have grown into professionally… Now im at crossroads coz of the mess im into … Love turned into possessiveness protectiveness and had couple of fights… things aint normal… i want her badly in my life as she used to be so close to me … we were inseparable during our chats.. shes my world my life .  shes my inspiration motivation shes my life shes my soul..

5 days , no msgs no calls no mails no whatsapp. Hardest period for a heart which loves/adores her so much.. Late night wisdom from roomie, wrote a mail , and morning we spoke for 29 seconds :) it ain’t much it meant like 24 hours :P

Frankly she’s been special from day 1, she wasn’t my woman of dreams at first glance, but she was d woman whom you live for :) She’s bad-ass mostly with me, she expects a lot from me, I guess that’s what was missing from my life, that starter plug which ignites your senses and goals in life. Lets see , pen further .. As of now ...

[ayomaya]

FML

Sometimes when we are too attached to people whom you love care and they start neglecting you for some of your pestering habits.. 

Even though you are changing their neglect and their hatred towards you make you feel very insecure and feels like  whole world has come to a halt.

Being someone who’s bold enough jovial in front of your friends and family. Its fking hard to express yourself to others when your love is not in talking terms. listening terms and chatting terms...

She claims , she’s cool , she’s different from other gals, she needs space , freedom ...All her friends say the same to her.

He claims, he’s cool, he’s different from other guys, he needs space freedom . All his friends claim same, and everyone enjoys his company.. 

HE and SHE , have so much in common and so much different.. 

When your bae starts neglecting you, I am that kind of guy who would want to win her back ... sometimes the emotional connect is just too much.. 

Being very very choosy and liking her just her face , her smile , her attitude, Didnt think about any other relevant info.. I just can’t fking take her out of my mind soul my life.

After many years, I believe I am in love with someone, with whom I wanna stay.. If god and mainly our karma permits, things will be fine.

Right now in severe pain, both physical and more psychological.Being strong in front of roomies and friends, its very hard to control your emotions... Your sadness your heart ache can’t be shown, you are strong for others but inside your melting burning and killing yourself...

I will reconcile and get love of my life back in my life.. 

No One Dies a Virgin, Life Fucks you.. 

-Kurt Cobain

[ayomaya]

Complicated Love

  Some feelings are felt , it can’t be expressed over your eyes, your facial expressions, your show off attitude. those need to penned , just to release your heart ache.

Here I write about my experience about finding someone special over internet, One crazy moment, as I was in isolation from almost 3-4 yrs without any relationship. Isolated from relationships, Isolated from gals. 

Then came a magical moment, as it happens to all guys. You see someone online, Stalk her back and forth on all available social networking sites. Check her photos, try to pool in all information on one go and then Start shooting Requests to her on all platforms.

Weeks passed and one fine day sometime in afternoon hours, She accepted my request. Started chatting with her, don’t know we just stroke a chord.( Atleast It was big time enthu kicked in). 

Then came the tough part of get her phone numbers, her Video Chat id etc etc. Its a challenge for a guy to get all details of your babe which’s tougher than walking over tight rope. Finally she gave up and gave her contact details , although I had figured out her phone number earlier :P . I wasnt showing off, I was just be sure not to disturb her.. 

2 Weeks of chats , continuous chats, morning afternoon evening .. She’s always to bed, being a night owl myself used to work on something useful later on. Those days were like the special moments of finding someone who’s damn cute for sure, beautiful at heart as well is special.

Big Evening, here comes a moment of reality check for both of us. I was expecting a super cute lady with good smile. 

As I was waiting for her at a corner, had already had couple of drags, coz of butterflies in my stomach trying to eat my intestines .. and my heart pumping like a triggered machine gun. There comes a call from her side, she was held with her personal chores, and she said 5 mins more... Man I cudnt answer call properly, Butterflies and Machine Gun activated in tandem and searched for a place which has atleast 300 degree vision of the entrances .. Finished drag in a min flat. Freshening myself . and the age long wait continues.

There comes a lady, straightening her hair, gazing here and there with her eagle eyes.I guess I wasn’t spotted by her(:P). First eye to eye contact, I was seeing her for the first time live in front of 500+ people around. (BTW, one of my friend had just passed the scene, I intentionally neglected him. :P )

She was cute and her smile was the best. It was just like Icing on a cake. Cake being her face and Smile complimented her very much.. 

She was tired after work, could sense the stress, but was she impressed at first go.. Dunno. ;).

Strolled for a while in Malls, Roads to find some peaceful place around, not so lucky as usual , then found a place to sit and talk our heart out. 

She was just 1.5 feet away from me, I could sense some vibe, some energy in both of us. She was cute as I uttered , more than that, I could sense some kinna vibe between us. We hit off from that moment, talking about everything under sun. Typical-- Family , Parents and our likes. 

we had actually spent more than 3 hours sitting and gazing at each other, It was really special for me ( coz I had lost in love once and I never had guts to look for love again. ).

I can write a post on that experience of 3 hours, her eyes, her face, her smile overall she was something special. May be she knew more about relationship than me, but I was kinna fascinated by her. typical guy’s feeling.

After 3 hours, then came the sending off. It was difficult for me , as I was emotionally drained by then. Wanted to spend few more hours, as they say.. Time matters most.. I obliged and we took different trains , as usual the Machine gun in my heart started its operations. 

That day I couldn’t sleep properly, as she was all over my head.. :) 

I dont want to pen the complications today, I kind of enjoyed drafting my experience today. :) Scribe soon.