ayssina-blog

[ayssina-blog]

So let me tell you about my day, my work day to be exact, my Monday till Friday,

At 5 o”clock in the morning, my alarm will play the song from my old iPhone 4 that had shattered screen and can no longer connect to WiFi, it also has no sim card on it. So it’s actually like an old updated iPod, and the songs list is a collection of mine from apple music before 2012-ish, before spotify become my apps to listen to music with it’s variant playlist and making me once again the cool kids who can keep up with latest good music and reminiscence old music in on cool freakin apps.

Then I will try my best to collect my soul and try best to check my phone (iPhone SE FYI, I know it’s bad to reach for your phone early in the morning. But its the only thing that could help me to force my eye and brain to start working, and by 5.30 at the latest usually I get off my comfy but slightly curved bed to start my day of habit.

Sometimes I do my bed, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. Sometimes I take showers sometimes I just clean up the best since I usually take night showers. Then sometimes I just pick my clothes that I already prepared on Sunday for the work week, sometimes I rushin try to find something to wear or iron my shirt halfheartedly since It’s not my favorite thing to do. But before I put on my clothes, still in my undies (deepens it’s black or nude week laundry), I wear my roll on, my perfume, then I start with my skincare, sometimes power water, always essence, always moisturizer, and definitely always SPF. Then continue with always lip balm, sometime foundation, mostly always mascara, sometime bronzer, sometimes blush on, and occasionally highlighter. After that if I just washed my hair I will put hair vitamin or even flat iron my hair if i had the time and want to look good before I arrive in the office, also body lotion is also part of the routine if I really in the mood of “taking care of your body”. Then the last thing before I left my room, I put on earrings (almost always) and my watch (also almost always).

Then my uncle/aunt/cousins will drove me off to the bus stop with their bike, I always make sure I leave my house at 6 of 6.15 at the latest. Once arrived in the bus stop (5 minutes from my house with bike), if i feel naughty I will but the coco-cheese bread that I love so much in the bakery near the bus stop. But if I control my self well I will just choose the best seats available in my bus and put my pink pashmina, get my phone out of my bag and put the headset on, listen to my current fave spotify playlist  and then start browsing furiously on all my social media account for latest gossip, news, meme, silly quizz, or what my star say on that day/week/month. There was a time I would start opening my whatsapp and type my morning greeting and wish him to have a good day and check whether he had his breakfast or not, but it’s no longer in my habit since two months ago.

It could take 2,5 hours in a bad day to arrive at the office, but once i a blue moon it could be just one hour max, but with average traffice 1,5 -2 hours is the usual time it takes for my bus to reach Sudiman trans jakarta stop.

TBC

[ayssina-blog]

I Love Writing!

So here I am, on my office creating yet another tumblr page. I always want to write and put something on a blog, but I’m not good at it. I’ve been writing, posting it, and deleting what I write too many times that I could remember since my teenage years.

I don’t really know what the reason of my lack of confidence on my own writing. The bad grammar? The crazy typo? or maybe it’s too personal and I’ve changed my mind about posting it to an open space. Insecure on what other people might think, how weird I am and my mind works. How shallow my brain and my emotional really is.

So what change my mind? How once again I think this time will be different? Will I somehow find yet another reason to delete this exact post? How very mercurial of me (fyi I’m really into horoscope) as a Gemini. 

One of the reason is, I have been listening good music from crazy talented musicians, and I mean I start to really really listen on what the message that they are delivering through their music. These days everything in music industry is released on single format through cloud music services like spotify. Not saying it’s bad or anything, but I just realized a music album, the really good one. They have stories in it, it represent a culture and emotion and the artist is being their most vulnerable self putting their story and personal point of view out and somehow people could connect with what the message their deliver in their music. It’s a form of self expression and being true to your self, and let your most personal self out and enabling it consume by the public.

If they could take the risk and being raw and put their self out there, and somehow it has an effect to other. I should inspired be brave like them. Not saying what I say will matter or will effecting someone like Tame Impala music album help me get through my worst heart break, but I do want to be true to my self and create a space for me to express my self. I want to put a piece of me out and share what I think, what I feel, just my story, my own voice.

I should learn to manage my vulnerability on my writings, because I always says I love to write but never actually put any writings out. People can judge, they can like or dislike my writings but it shouldn’t matter anymore. The most important thing is for me right now that writing is the form of self expression that i choose. I can’t play any music instrument, my voice sucks, I can’t act and my drawings looks like it’s made by kindergarten student.

So, here it is. My first writing on my still tumblr blog. I don’t expect anyone will actually read this, but I will learn to make a peace with being vulnerable and being true to my self. Maybe someday I will show this blog to my closest people.

Someone out there, if you are actually reading this post. Thank you, and remember that as Sarah Silverman says, it is important to always be true to your self cause you are enough and there is only one you in this world silly!

xoxo

A