azrielandhisshadows

[azrielandhisshadows]

The Shadow of Her Love

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 2.1k

summary: Azriel has been waiting for his mate to return from UTM after Amarantha's defeat; however, when Rhys returns without her, Azriel is forced to face the past 50 years of grief and anticipation while making connections with a new face.

warnings: talks of under the mountain, death, angst

a/n: I don't know if I know how to write anything happy

~~~~~~~~~~

Winds whipped around the balcony at the house of wind as two figures winnowed into sight. Azriel, Cassian, Mor, and Amren ran from the dining room in anticipation of the reunion they’ve waited 50 years for. Rhys and Y/N had survived 50 years of torment under Amarantha’s reign and had returned home.

Mor ran to embrace Rhys as he fell to his knees. Sobs erupted from his chest as he clung to Mor, as half a century of suffering finally crashing down on him in waves. Cassian knelt beside him, his face a mixture of relief and anguish, his hand gripping Rhys's shoulder tightly as though grounding him to the present.

Amren stood nearby, her usually sharp gaze softened as she studied her High Lord, a flicker of rare emotion crossing her face. Even she could not hide the relief that her family was whole again.

“Mate. She’s my mate.”

His family knew who Rhys meant without question. Feyre Cursebreaker, the human who saved everyone from Amarantha. Cassian and Mor continued to comfort Rhys as he brokenly muttered about Feyre. Shadows snaked toward Azriel frantically, whispering in his ear.

Not her. Not Y/N.

Azriel froze, his breath hitching in his throat. His hazel eyes darted to the figure standing behind Rhys. His shadows were right. It wasn’t Y/N.

His heart pounded against his chest and he reached for the golden thread of his bond. Cold, empty silence sat at the end of the bond just as it had the past 50 years. 

His voice broke as he stepped forward, cutting through Rhys’s rambling. “Where is she?”

The air seemed to shift, all relief vanishing from the room as silence fell. Rhys stiffened in Mor’s arms. Cassian and Mor looked at each other, confusion dawning on their faces, but Azriel’s voice rose, harder this time.

“Where is Y/N?”

Rhys lifted his head slowly, his grief-stricken gaze locking with Azriel’s. Violet eyes, heavy with sorrow, gave him the answer before the words left his mouth.

“She’s gone,” Rhys whispered, his voice hoarse and broken. “Y/N didn’t make it.”

The world stopped under Azriel’s feet as he fell to the ground. He grabbed at the leather tunic that clothed his chest, his shadows matching his frantic breaths. “No,” he spat, “you’re lying. Where is Y/N?”

Rhys fell to hold his brother, guilt living on his features. “I’m not lying,” he said quietly, his voice barely audible over the sound of Azriel’s ragged breaths. “I—I’m so sorry, Azriel. She’s gone.”

“No,” Azriel growled, his voice low and dangerous. His hazel eyes burned with fury and desperation as he surged to his feet. His shadows lashed out wildly, writhing like living extensions of his anguish. “She can’t be gone. She wouldn’t just leave me—she wouldn’t leave us!”

The tension shattered when Amren’s sharp voice cut through the room, her silver eyes narrowing. “If Y/N is dead, then who is that?”

The winds stilled as all eyes locked on the girl hovering at the edge of the balcony. Azriel’s shadows curled protectively around him, hesitant to retreat even as the girl cautiously stepped forward. The light from the House of Wind caught the golden strands of her hair, casting a faint halo around her, but it was her face—the familiar set of her jaw, the curve of her lips, the hesitation in her hazel eyes—that froze the room. She looked like Y/N – so much like Y/N that it was a cruel mirage.

“Who are you?” Azriel asked, his voice cutting through the silence. His tone riddled with raw desperation. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, his entire body coiled with tension as though preparing for a blow.

The girl flinched at the question, her sunken hazel eyes darting between the group before landing on Rhys. Her eyes pleading desperately for his help. Rhys stood frozen, his guilt-lined face softening for the young girl, encouraging her to come closer. “I... I’m not here to hurt you,” she said softly, her voice trembling but steady enough to carry. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“That’s not an answer,” Cassian said, his voice low and gruff, his body a wall of muscle as he placed himself between Mor and the girl. “Start talking. Now.”

The girl took another step back, her hands still raised in a gesture of peace. “I—my name is Lyra,” she said, her voice faltering slightly. “Y/N is… was my mother.”

Her words shook the group like thunder, reverberating in the stunned silence that followed. Azriel’s breath hitched audibly, and he staggered backward as though struck. His shadows lashed out wildly, betraying his internal turmoil.

“That’s impossible,” Mor whispered, her voice trembling as she clung to Cassian for support. “Y/N would’ve told us—she wouldn’t have kept this from us.”

“She didn’t have a choice,” Rhys said, his voice cracking under the weight of the truth. His shoulders sagged, and his gaze dropped to the floor as he took a steadying breath. “She didn’t know she was pregnant until after we were captured.”

Azriel’s sharp intake of breath broke the fragile silence. He turned on Rhys, his hazel eyes blazing with fury and anguish. “You knew?” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “You knew she was pregnant, and you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t know until after our magic was taken away,” Rhys replied, his voice thick with guilt. “Amarantha found out before I did. She used it against her. Against both of us.”

Azriel’s fists clenched tighter, his shadows writhing furiously. “What do you mean?” he demanded, his voice trembling. “What did she do to her?”

“She delighted in tormenting Y/N,” Rhys said hoarsely, his violet eyes glistening with tears. “She forced her into tasks that no one should endure—tasks that risked her life and Lyra’s. She threatened to harm her every time Y/N showed defiance. She… she made sure Y/N lived in constant fear. Y/N tried to hold on as long as she could, but she became too weak.”

Lyra’s quiet voice cut through the raging emotions, “I watched her fade away into a shell of herself. She tried to be strong for me… to protect me. She died with your name on her last breath. She always made sure I knew you – knew my father.”

Azriel’s knees buckled, only the force from Cassian and Mor keeping him upright. Lyra cautiously walked closer to her father, placing a soft hand on his cheek. “She always told me stories about you. About how brave and kind you were, even when the world wasn’t kind to you. I was never scared of shadows growing up because she always spoke of how shadows reminded her of you. Most importantly, she told me how much you would’ve loved me and how you loved her.”

Azriel’s heart seemed to stop at Lyra’s words. His breath hitched, and a cold emptiness settled deep within him. Every word she spoke only deepened the wound he’d been carrying for the last fifty years. He had failed her mother. He wasn’t there when she needed him most. He had never even known.

His body trembled as his mind raced with a thousand thoughts, none of them making sense. How could this be real? The shock was still fresh, still numbing. The bond he’d kept waiting on, hoping for a sign, was still silent. He had felt it—the absence of her—and now, the reality hit harder than he could have ever imagined.

Lyra’s hand lingered on his cheek, a small act of comfort, but to Azriel, it felt like a reminder of everything he had lost. His eyes flickered to the girl who stood before him, the child that was a piece of Y/N, and the hole in his chest deepened. She died with my name on her lips... he couldn't escape the echo of those words.

He could feel the weight of those final moments Y/N had endured, alone and terrified. She had been strong, but the cruelty of Amarantha had worn her down. It had stolen so much from her, from them all.

Azriel’s voice cracked as he forced the words from his mouth, each one laced with sorrow and regret. “I should have known. I should have been there for her. I—” His voice faltered, the guilt too much to carry.

Lyra’s eyes softened as she gently wiped a stray tear from his face, her touch surprisingly steady despite the tremor in her own hands. “She never blamed you,” Lyra said softly, her voice full of a wisdom that belied her young age. “She always spoke of you as if you were still there, still fighting for her. She believed you would come. But…” Lyra paused, her own grief surfacing. “Amarantha made sure she couldn’t fight anymore. And I…” She swallowed hard, her voice trembling. “I wasn’t enough to save her.”

Azriel staggered back, his mind reeling as his shadows lashed out violently. I wasn’t there. I wasn’t enough either. The thought consumed him, driving him to his knees. His shadows wrapped around him, moving like an extension of his agony.

“No,” Azriel whispered, the word barely audible as his hand pressed to his chest. “It should have been me. I should’ve been the one to protect her. Not... not like this.” His entire body trembled with the weight of the loss that seemed too vast to bear.

Cassian and Mor remained by his side, not daring to speak, understanding that no words could reach him in this moment. Even Rhys, whose grief had been shattered by the loss of Feyre, seemed unable to find a way to comfort his brother now.

Lyra stepped closer, lowering herself to sit next to Azriel, her young hands trembling as she reached out. “You are enough,” she said quietly, her voice soft but filled with the weight of everything Y/N had shared with her. “She loved you. I know she did.”

Azriel looked up at her, his expression raw. The brokenness in his eyes mirrored the emptiness he felt. His shadows wrapped around Lyra protectively, unsure of how to respond to the child who was now the last piece of the love he’d lost. She should be here. Y/N should be here, with us.

“I don’t know how to be enough for you,” Azriel whispered, his voice hoarse. “I don’t know how to be a father to you. I wasn’t there when she needed me. I failed her.”

Lyra’s eyes softened even further, her own grief evident but tinged with understanding. She placed her hand on his, the touch grounding him in a way he hadn’t expected. “I don’t need you to be perfect. She wasn’t perfect either, but she was the best mother I could’ve asked for. And I know… I know she would have wanted you to try.”

Azriel felt the weight of her words settle on him like a stone, but it didn’t feel like the crushing weight of guilt that had been suffocating him. Instead, it felt like something different—a soft light, a faint warmth. It didn’t heal the wound, but it gave him a moment of clarity.

“I’ll try,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “But I don’t know if it will ever be enough.”

Lyra squeezed his hand, offering him a quiet understanding, though the sadness still lingered in her eyes. "You don't have to make up for anything. You don't have to be the hero. I only need you to be here for me."

For the first time in years, Azriel didn’t feel entirely alone. As he looked at Lyra, her face so like Y/N's, his heart ached, but there was a flicker of something else—something he hadn’t felt in so long. It was hope. A fragile, painful hope.

And as he sat there, surrounded by the family who had waited so long for a reunion, Azriel felt a shift. His shadows, though still swirling with grief, seemed less wild now. The presence of Lyra—of Y/N’s memory—offered him a small measure of peace. There was still so much pain, so much loss, but perhaps, just perhaps, he could find a way to heal.

“I’ll be here,” he said, his voice breaking but firm. “I’ll be here for you. I’ll be the father you need.”

Lyra smiled softly, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I’ve waited so long to hear those words”

And for the first time in fifty years, Azriel felt a glimmer of hope for the future. It wouldn’t be easy, and the pain would never fully go away, but in that moment, as he looked into the eyes of the daughter he never knew he had, he felt a new beginning. A chance to rebuild what had been broken. A chance to love again.

[azrielandhisshadows]

winter's kiss (5)

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 3.9k

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

~~~~~~~~~~

“Your wound has healed very well. How have you been doing with your exercises?” Madja asked as she removed the dressings from your shoulder. You rotated your shoulder, wincing slightly from the soreness at the movement.

“The mother hen over there has kept me accountable and made sure I’ve been doing them,” you laughed, shooting a wink at Azriel, who was lounging across the room. He sauntered over with a playful smirk, pressing a feather-light kiss to your forehead.

“I can’t just sit back and let my mate recover alone,” he replied, his voice low and teasing. “You’ve got to feel your absolute best to enjoy everything Velaris has to offer—especially when I’m taking you out.”

A sly smile graced your lips as you raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You’ve been planning on taking me out, have you? What’s on the agenda – a romantic dinner by the river or a moonlight stroll?”

“You’ll have to wait and see,” Azriel said, leaning in, his eyes alight with mischief. “I just needed to be sure you’re strong enough to keep up with me.”

You smirked up at Azriel, placing a quick kiss on his lips. Madja cleared her throat, disrupting the flirtatious air. 

“Well lucky for you, lovebirds, I believe Y/N is ready to start exploring our beautiful city,” She teased, packing her bags with a knowing smile. “Just don’t do anything too crazy, Shadowsinger.”

“Azriel and crazy? Those are two words I never thought I’d hear in the same sentence,” Cassian laughed as he and Rhysand entered the room.

“You’re right, Cas. Madja always has to say that to you when you’re injured,” Rhysand said, elbowing Cassian in the side with a grin

“Hey! That’s not true… it’s not always.” Cassian protested, pouting dramatically as he plopped down next to your bed. “I only get into ‘crazy’ situations when I’m with you two.”

Azriel crossed his arms, a mock-serious expression on his face. “So it’s our fault, then? Good to know.”

“Exactly! You both get me into trouble,” Cassian shot back, a grin breaking through his faux indignation.

Madja finished packing her bags, a satisfied smile on her face. “I don’t believe that for a second, Cassian. Regardless, take it easy, Y/N. Velaris isn’t going anywhere,” she said, giving you a warm look before heading for the door. 

Rhysand nodded to Madja as she left your room, before sitting beside Azriel on your bed. “Y/N, how are you, truly,” he asked, concern etched in his features as Cassian leaned in closer, both of them awaiting your response.

Azriel gently squeezed your thigh, an unspoken reminder of the difficult days that had followed your arrival. You looked into Rhysand’s violet eyes, feeling the weight of their attention and care.

“I’m… okay,” you said slowly, gauging their reactions. “It’s been a lot to process, but everyone has been so supportive and helpful through this adjustment.”

Cassian nodded, his expression softening. “We may have only known you for several days, but you’re important to Azriel… you’re important to all of us. You’re a part of our family now, Y/N.” Azriel and Rhysand both nodded in agreement and tears lined your eyes at the shared sentiment.

“Thank you. It truly means everything to me, especially when the only family I’ve known has been Kallias and Viviane…” Your eyes drifted to your entwined hands, fidgeting your thumbs. “How are they?”

Rhysand exchanged a glance with his brothers. “Mor has been in contact with Viviane since we left. Kallias is not doing well… Viviane says he has resigned to their room and has not been seen in any meetings since their return. He regrets what he’s done very deeply.” 

A knot formed in your stomach at the news. “I miss them,” you murmured, the guilt pressing down on you. “I know I should still be furious with Kallias for what he did, but he’s my brother… I can’t stay mad at him.” 

Cassian leaned closer, his voice steady and reassuring. “It’s okay to feel that way, Y/N. Family is complicated. You can be hurt and still love him. It doesn’t make your feelings any less valid.”

Azriel’s thumb brushed against your thigh, grounding you. “You have every right to feel conflicted. Kallias has been someone you’ve trusted for your entire life, but he betrayed that and you got hurt in the process. As furious as I still am at him for hurting you, if you wish to reach out to him, I will support you.”

You took a deep breath, processing their words. “I think I will. This is the longest I’ve gone without speaking to him since he returned from Under the Mountain. I need to hear what he has to say, but I need to defend myself – and our relationship. I need him to know that I’m not going to ignore what Azriel and I have.”

Rhysand, who had been quietly observing, leaned forward with a thoughtful expression. “If it helps, I can reach out to Kallias and Viviane for you. That way, you won’t have to carry that burden right now, and you and Azriel can enjoy your day without distractions.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Azriel said, relief evident in his voice.

You smiled, feeling grateful for the support. “Thank you, Rhysand. That would mean a lot to me.”

“Of course,” he replied, his tone warm. “Now, Cassian and I will leave you alone so you two can get your date started.”

Azriel led you over to the balcony attached from your room, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Ready to see Velaris from the sky?”

You hesitated, a knot of nervousness tightening in your stomach. “Um, flying? I’ve never—”

He sensed your hesitation immediately, his expression softening. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be right there with you. Just focus on me, alright?”

Taking a deep breath, you nodded, allowing him to wrap an arm around your waist. His warmth was comforting, but the idea of soaring through the air still made your heart race. With a gentle push, he lifted you off the ground, and you felt the world drop away as you rose into the air.

The initial rush of wind against your face sent a jolt of adrenaline through you, and your grip tightened around his waist. Below, Velaris unfolded in a stunning panorama, the twinkling lights reflecting on the river like scattered jewels. But your heart raced not just from the view—it was the height that made you uneasy.

“You’re doing great,” Azriel said, his voice steady. “Just look at me.”

You focused on him, his dark eyes reassuring and filled with warmth. With each beat of your heart, the city below transformed into a breathtaking sight of colors and lights, and you found peace in the beauty surrounding you.

As he glided through the air, you felt the tension in your body start to ease. You began to appreciate the freedom of flying, the rush of the wind mingling with exhilaration. “This is… amazing!” you finally admitted, a smile breaking through your nervousness.

He grinned back at you, clearly pleased. “See? Just let yourself enjoy it.”

With one last swoop, he descended gracefully, landing beside the river that ran through Velaris. The sapphire water sparkled, reflecting the brilliant colors of the city.

“Welcome to the heart of Velaris,” Azriel said, releasing your hand to gesture broadly at the view before you. The river wound its way through rolling hills, flanked by elegant buildings crafted from white marble and warm sandstone.

“It’s breathtaking,” you breathed, taking it all in. The lively atmosphere was infectious, with laughter and music drifting through the air.

“Let me show you the Rainbow,” he suggested, his eyes twinkling with enthusiasm.

Together, you strolled along the riverbank, the sound of water lapping against the shore providing a soothing backdrop. As you approached the artists’ quarter, the streets burst into a riot of color. Buildings were painted in vibrant hues, and murals adorned the walls, each more captivating than the last.

“This place feels alive,” you said, marveling at the creativity surrounding you. Musicians played lively tunes, their melodies intertwining with the laughter of children nearby.

“So, Az… what surprises do you have planned for me?” 

Azriel’s brows shot up in surprise, his eyes widening slightly. “Az?”

You chuckled, a teasing glint in your eye. “What? Is it too familiar? I figured we were past the formalities.”

He shook his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “No, it’s just—you’ve never called me Az. It’s… nice.”

You smiled at his response, feeling a warmth spread through you. “Well, I like to think we’ve gotten closer over the past several days. Plus, I don’t think I could call my mate by his full name for the rest of our lives."

Azriel’s expression softened as he leaned a little closer. “I like hearing you talk about our forever…”

You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Well, we can talk about it more once you take me to our first stop.”

His laughter rang out, bright and genuine. “Fair enough. Let’s get moving, then.”

With that, he took your hand, intertwining your fingers as you strolled down the vibrant streets of Velaris. The lively atmosphere enveloped you—musicians playing upbeat tunes, the scent of pastries wafting through the air, and colorful murals brightening every corner.

“So, what’s the first stop?” you asked, glancing up at him with curiosity.

“I think you’ll love it. We’re going to a bakery that has the best pastries in all of Velaris.”

“Now you’re speaking my language!” you replied, your excitement bubbling over.

As you approached the bakery, the warm light spilling from the windows and the charming exterior made it feel inviting. Azriel opened the door for you, and you stepped inside, immediately enveloped by the comforting smell of fresh bread and pastries.

“Welcome to my favorite spot,” he said, gesturing around. The bakery was cozy, filled with displays of mouthwatering treats that seemed to glow under the soft lights.

You walked over to the counter, eyes wide with delight. After ordering a selection of pastries, you found a small table by the window, sunlight streaming in and casting a warm glow around you. As you sat across from Azriel, he placed the beautifully decorated plate of pastries in front of you.

“Here you go,” he said, a proud smile on his face. “Dig in!”

You took a bite of the cinnamon roll, and your eyes widened in pure bliss. “This is fantastic!” you exclaimed, savoring the rich flavor.

Azriel’s expression twisted with laughter, “I’m glad you like it.”

He reaches across the table and laces his fingers with yours. “I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, Y/N. Selfishly, I don’t want this time to end.”

You looked down at your joined hands, the warmth of his touch sending a delightful shiver up your spine. The intimacy of the moment made your heart flutter. “What if it didn’t have to?”

Confusion graced Azriel’s features, his gaze prompting you to continue.

“I know it may sound rushed, but I’ve really enjoyed our time together too and I can’t imagine leaving you now. Would it be crazy if I said I wanted to stay?”

Azriel’s brows furrowed slightly, and he studied you intently, as if weighing your words. “Stay?” he echoed, a hint of hope brightening his eyes. “You mean… stay in Velaris?”

You nodded, feeling a mix of excitement and vulnerability. “I know it’s sudden, but I feel a connection with you that I can’t ignore. I don’t want to go back to a life without you in it.”

Azriel leaned closer, his grip on your fingers tightening as he searched your eyes for sincerity. “You don’t know how much that means to me, Y/N. I’ve been waiting for my mate for so long, and the thought of you choosing to stay here—it’s everything I’ve dreamed of.”

Your heart swelled at his admission, the weight of his words settling in. “So, you really want me to stay? Here in Velaris, with you?”

“More than anything,” he said, his voice steady and filled with conviction. “This city, it’s beautiful, but it’s even more so with you in it.” 

Your cheeks flushed at his compliment and your mind raced with the possibilities of your future. 

~

As the sun began to set over the Sidra, the lively noises of the Rainbow grew, creating the perfect background for the rest of your conversations. The laughter of the children combined with the vibrant music from the street musicians and the symphony of noises calmed you – it made you feel at home. 

Azriel led you through the busy streets back to the riverfront where you had begun your day. The chill from the river was offset by the warmth of his embrace, a comforting presence that made you feel safe and cherished.

Arriving at the riverbank, you paused to take in the view—the water shimmering under the fading light, the city glowing with warmth and life. “It’s even more beautiful at night,” you murmured, captivated.

Azriel smiled, his eyes reflecting the soft luminescence of the moon. “It truly is. This is one of my favorite places.”

You felt Azriel’s gaze run down your body as you stood admiring the sights of Velaris. He wrapped his arms around your waist and placed a gentle kiss on the crown of your head. “You are so beautiful, Y/N.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, warmth spreading through you as you leaned back into his embrace. The world around you felt like a dream, the sounds of laughter and music blending seamlessly with the soft lapping of the river against the shore.

“As much as I don’t want this night to end, it is getting late. We should head back,” Azriel said, his head dropping  to the crook of your neck and shoulder, leaving a kiss.

You shivered slightly at the sensation, a mix of warmth and lingering magic enveloping you. “Do we have to?” you asked, feigning a pout as you looked up at him.

He chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’d keep you here forever if I could, but we wouldn’t want to alarm the others.”

You smiled, knowing he was right. You turned around and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

Azriel held onto your hips tightly before flying you to the House of Wind.

~

The two of you landed at the House of Wind and took the last moment of your first date. You exhaled softly, not wanting this moment to end. Azriel brought a hand to your cheek, tucking your wind-blown hair behind your ears. 

You leaned into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand against your skin. “This has been incredible,” you murmured, looking up into his eyes, which sparkled like the stars above.

“It’s only the beginning,” he replied, his voice low and full of promise. Azriel’s hand reached for yours and he led you inside. As you both entered the dining room, the mood instantly shifted from the joy you and Azriel both felt to a suffocating tension. You looked around the table and saw Rhysand, Cassian, Feyre, Mor, and Amren. A breath caught in your throat as you saw two others that you didn’t expect to see so soon – Kallias and Viviane. At first glance, you hardly recognized your brother. The dark bags underneath his piercing blue eyes made him look like a ghost, his normally vibrant skin pale and drawn. His expression was a mix of weariness and worry, as if he hadn’t slept in days.

Azriel’s hand tightened around your own as he saw your brother sitting across the room. You felt the weight of Kallias’s exhaustion tugging at your heart, the joy of your evening slipping away like sand through your fingers. 

Viviane pulled Kallias from his seat and dragged him over to you, her arms enveloping you in a tight hug that felt both comforting and urgent. “Y/N, I’m so glad you’re okay,” she exclaimed, her voice a mix of relief and concern.

You returned her embrace, feeling the warmth of it and the weight of her concern. As you stepped back, you caught a glance at your brother’s expression – worry and guilt. Kallias fell into your arms, almost knocking you over from his tall stature. You stumbled back, regaining your balance and wrapping your arms around him. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was so worried about you,” he murmured into your shoulder, his voice muffled but filled with sincerity. Warm tears landed on your exposed shoulder as Kallias whispered his apologies relentlessly. You tightened your grip around him, feeling the weight of his worry wash over you. 

“Kallias, I’m safe,” you whispered, trying to soothe him as he buried his face deeper into your shoulder. “We do need to talk though.”

His body shook slightly as he took a deep breath and stepped back enough to meet your gaze. His once bright blue eyes, now dull, met your own. You motioned toward the balcony, feeling the need for privacy as the weight of the moment settled around you. Kallias nodded, and you led him and Viviane outside, where the cool evening air brushed against your skin.

The view of Velaris stretched out before you, but the beauty of the city felt distant compared to the urgency of the conversation at hand. Silence lingered between the three of you as you gathered your thoughts, the tension palpable.

“Kallias,” you began, turning to face your brother. “I’ve missed you… so much,” you sighed, looking between your brother and your best friend. “But, I’ve also been so angry at you for what you did.”

Kallias’s expression shifted, a mix of surprise and guilt washing over his face. “I know,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t mean for things to get so out of hand. I was just trying to protect you.”

You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to hold his gaze. “I understand that. You’ve always protected me, but you were so overcome with your distrust of Azriel and the Night Court that I ended up getting hurt.” You stepped away from Kallias and Viviane, turning to reveal the back of your dress. They let out a collective gasp at the scar on your shoulder—a stark reminder of the shard of Kallias’s ice that had pierced there days earlier. Despite your quick healing and Madja’s best efforts, the damage was deep enough to leave an enduring mark, a painful memory that couldn’t be fully erased.

“Thankfully, the Night Court has some of the best healers in Prythian. Madja did what she could, but she was more focused on my recovery and being able to still use my shoulder than the aesthetics.”

Kallias’s expression twisted with guilt as he took a step closer. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted this to happen, Y/N. I only wanted to protect you. All I’ve ever wanted to do was protect you.”

You turned back around to face them, frustration lining your features. “I know that, Kallias! You were so wrapped up in protecting me that you tried keeping me from my mate – the one that the Mother hand-picked for me. You didn’t give me the chance to make my own decision about him… you only tried to make me distrust him. You didn’t trust me or my judgment and that’s what hurts the most.”

Before Kallias could respond, Azriel burst onto the balcony, having heard the raised voices. He moved to your side, placing his arm around your waist. His comforting touch calmed you, grounding you in the moment.

“Y/N, it’s not about you. I do trust you, I swear on the Cauldron. It’s just,” he trailed off. Viviane grasped his hand, giving him a gentle squeeze. “It’s just that I promised our mother to always take care of you, no matter what.”

Surprise hit you as you quickly inhaled at Kallias’s statement – a wave of sadness coming over you. Azriel held you tighter, sensing the shift in your mood.

“I know you never got to meet her, but our mother was a wonderful female. She knew she wasn’t going to survive your birth shortly after she delivered you, but she wasn’t scared. She laid in her birthing bed, holding you in one arm and me in the other. With her few remaining moments, she asked me to always look after you. She knew how cruel our father could be and she didn’t want to leave you without a protector. 

A lump formed in your throat, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “I wish I could have known her,” you whispered, the longing in your heart becoming palpable. Kallias stepped closer, his eyes clouded by tears. “That’s why I’ve been so protective. I didn’t want to disappoint her. But I see now that I’ve let my fears cloud my judgment.”

His admission hung in the air, heavy yet freeing. You stepped forward and embraced your brother tightly. “I hope you can forgive me, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

You nodded silently against his chest, feeling the weight of everything that had been unsaid lift. Viviane joined in the hug, wrapping her arms around both of you. The three of you stood there, enveloped in a cocoon of warmth and support, the bonds of family intertwining like the roots of a strong tree.

“I forgive you, Kallias,” you said softly, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes. “I hope you’re willing to support Azriel and I.” You stepped away from your brother and reached for your mate’s hand, feeling his adoration beside you. 

Kallias looked from you to Azriel, his expression shifting from guilt to one of calm. “It may take some time,” Kallias replied, his voice steadier. “But I want to get to know him and trust him like you do.” Kallias reached back for Viviane, contentment etched into his features.

“I promise that I will do everything to keep Y/N safe. You both have my word,” Azriel replied, his gaze moving between Kallias and Viviane. “I will do everything I can to gain your trust and prove I’m worthy of Y/N’s love.” 

Kallias studied Azriel for a moment, then nodded slowly. “That’s all I ask.”

Taking a deep breath, you felt the moment was right to share your decision. “There’s something else I need to tell you both,” you said, glancing between them. “I’m staying in Velaris. For good.”

Before Kallias could respond, a faint giggle echoed from behind the door leading back into the dining room. You turned to see Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, Mor, and Amren peeking out, their faces lighting up with excitement.

“Did we just hear that you’re staying?” Mor exclaimed, stepping forward with a wide grin. “That’s fantastic!”

“Absolutely brilliant!” Cassian added, clapping his hands together. “We’ll throw you the best welcome party Velaris has ever seen!”

Rhysand leaned against the doorframe, a knowing smile on his face. “We were just discussing how much we’d love to have you here permanently. You fit right in with our little family.”

Kallias looked taken aback, but a smile crept onto his face as he watched the enthusiasm of the Inner Circle. “I… didn’t expect this reaction,” he admitted, glancing at you.

You laughed, feeling warmth spread through you at the sight of your friends. “I didn’t either, but it means the world to me. I want to begin my life with Azriel.”

As the joy radiated around you, you felt a sense of belonging that you had longed for. Together, with your family and newfound friends, you could build a future filled with love and laughter in the heart of the Night Court.

~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: this is most likely the last part of winter's kiss, but I may write an epilogue. If you want an epilogue, let me know! Also, my requests are open if you have any ideas you'd like me to write!

taglist: @marvelsmylife@darlingoftheshadowss@scatteredstardustt @elizabethrosecresswell @lilah-asteria @azrielsmate3 @iluvyewman-blog @i-am-infinite @be-your-coffee-pot

[azrielandhisshadows]

winter's kiss (4)

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 3.9k

warnings: mention of bad relationship with parents and fighting

a/n: wow, sorry everyone, I really dove into this. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and thank you for your support of this fic!

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morning came at the first light of dawn, soft and golden light leaking through your windows. You awoke with excitement and anticipation for the days ahead. Today was only the beginning of getting to know the male that you could spend the rest of your life with. You walked onto your balcony and took in the beauty of the Dawn Court. The flowers growing on the sides of the buildings and the vibrant greenery below were bathed in the morning light. The crisp air served as a reminder of your home in the Winter Court and how much has changed since you were there last. 

The thought of Kallias’s continued distrust weighed heavily on your mind. You understood that building trust would take time and patience. Kallias’s protective nature towards you was something you valued deeply, and it was only natural for him to be wary of the Night Court and its members, especially given his past experiences. Yet, you couldn’t ignore the growing connection you felt with Azriel, a connection that seemed worth fighting for.

With a deep breath, you resolved to embrace the day with a positive outlook, ready to build upon the bond you were starting to form with Azriel. As you dressed and prepared for the day, you focused on the opportunities that lay ahead—opportunities to get to know Azriel better and to experience the beauty of the Dawn Court firsthand.

You made your way to the dining room, taking in the breakfast spread that was laid in the center of the room. Kallias and Viviane stopped their conversation with the High Lord of the Dawn Court. Kallias waved you over to the table and motioned you to take a seat. Azriel looked at you from across the room and you gave him a quick smile before walking to your brother’s table. 

The High Lord stood as you approached the table, offering a respectful nod. “Y/N, I’m Thesan. I apologize for not having the opportunity to introduce myself yesterday. It’s a pleasure to have you in my court.”

You returned his nod with a warm smile. “Thank you, Thesan. It’s a pleasure to be here.”

Thesan gestured for you to help yourself to the breakfast spread, which was as lavish as you’d expected. As you served yourself, you could feel Azriel’s eyes on you, a comforting presence amidst the tension of the morning.

Viviane, joining you at the breakfast spread, flashed a mischievous grin. “So, Mor mentioned that a certain Shadowsinger is planning to spend the day with you. Is that true?” A blush crept onto your cheeks as you focused on filling your plate. Viviane’s excited squeal drew Kallias’s attention, momentarily interrupting his conversation with Thesan.

“Viv, be quiet,” you whispered, glancing at Kallias to see that he had returned to his discussion. “Yes, it’s true. Azriel and I decided to use the few days we have left here to get to know each other better when he came to my room last night.”

Viviane’s eyes sparkled with surprise. “He came to your room last night?”

You felt your cheeks flush as you nodded. “Yes, we talked for a while. It was a good conversation, and... we kissed.”

Viviane’s grin widened, clearly delighted by your confession. “Y/N, that’s wonderful! I know you’ll have a great time.”

As you shared a shy smile with Azriel from across the room, you leaned closer to Viviane and whispered, “I’m looking forward to it, but please, don’t tell Kallias. I don’t want him to interfere with my chance to get to know Azriel.”

Viviane nodded understandingly, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Don’t worry. I won’t say a word. I’ll keep him busy today.” She gave you a knowing smirk before making her way back to Kallias. With Viviane’s promise, you breathed a sigh of relief and walked toward the table where Azriel and the rest of the Night Court sat. Everyone at the table was engaged in lively conversation that paused as you approached. 

Azriel stood, a warm and welcoming smile on his face as he pulled out the seat beside him. With a gentle touch, he placed a light kiss on your cheek—a simple, affectionate gesture that sent a ripple of awareness through the room.

A sudden chill swept through the dining area, and you felt the temperature drop slightly. It was then that you realized Kallias had observed the small display of affection. His eyes, usually calm, now held a glint of icy disapproval as he watched from his place at the other table.

Ignoring your brother’s disapproval, you grabbed Azriel’s hand and took the seat he offered you. The others at the table felt the shift in the atmosphere and quickly moved to lighten the mood, diving back into their lively conversation.

Cassian, with his trademark grin, leaned in. “Az, what do you have planned for the lovely Y/N today?” His tone was playful, and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

Azriel smirked at his brother, “Why would I tell you, Cas? Do you plan on joining us?” 

Cassian chuckled, “If that’s your way of saying you need a wingman, I’m there.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, an amused grin gracing his lips. “As if you would be my choice of wingman. Not that I need you there, but I’m keeping my plans a secret; however, I may pick Y/N’s brain on some ways to win this year’s snowball fight.” Azriel smirked at Rhysand and Cassian, a playful glint in his eyes. 

“That’s not fair! She’s from the Winter Court. She could beat any of us in a snowball fight!” Rhysand and Cassian both began to protest.

The rest of the Inner Circle burst into laughter, the atmosphere light and filled with camaraderie. Azriel’s smirk widened as he enjoyed the playful banter, clearly relishing in the light-hearted competition.

Finally, Azriel stood from the table, his gaze returning to you. “Shall we?” He extended his hand with a flourish, his smile warm and inviting.

You stood, taking his hand and feeling a spark of excitement. As you left the dining room, you could still hear the grumbling from Rhysand and Cassian about the unfair advantages and potential strategies you might share with Azriel.

Azriel led you through a set of elegantly carved doors onto a secluded balcony not far from the dining room. As you stepped outside, the dewy air of the Dawn Court greeted you. The sky stretched in waves of beautiful cobalt, kissed with remnants of rose-tinged sunrise. Sparkling rivers merged together from the mountains, a golden light hitting their waves and sending dancing reflections onto the balcony.

You leaned against the balcony edge, taking in the beauty of this moment. The remaining hints of summer on the breeze acting as an overwhelming contrast to your icy home. 

Azriel stood beside you, his presence a comforting warmth against the cool morning air. “I thought you might enjoy this view,” he said softly, his gaze sweeping over the landscape with a hint of pride.

“It’s incredible,” you replied, your eyes still locked on the horizon. “I’ve read about the Dawn Court’s beauty, but seeing it in person is something I only dreamed of.”

Azriel’s eyes softened as he looked at you. With a gentle smile, he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. The simple gesture sent a wave of warmth through you, contrasting with the dewy air.

“This is one of my favorite places to come whenever I’ve been here on missions before, but I have to admit that this still pales in comparison to my home.” Azriel said, his voice low, “I hope I get to show you at some point.”

You glanced up at Azriel, a teasing smile on your lips. “I think you may be a little biased, Shadowsinger… but I would love to see the Night Court. I’m sure everything I’ve heard doesn’t do it justice.”

Azriel squeezed your hand gently, his warm gaze made your heart flutter. You could feel the adoration and affection he sent through your bond, a comforting embrace that seemed to embrace the possibility of your future together. Azriel’s gaze dropped to your lips. Tenderly, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. The soft and gentle kiss evolved with a passionate depth filled with unspoken words and emotions between you.

When you finally pulled away, the world around you seemed to shimmer with a newfound clarity. The bond between you was vibrant and strong, a silent promise of the journey you were embarking on together. Azriel’s gaze remained locked with yours, his eyes reflecting the same depth of emotion you felt within.

“Azriel, I never got to say how thankful I am that you opened up to me last night. It showed me how willing you are to welcome me into your life, especially since I know it can’t be easy for you to trust people. I think it’s only fair that I tell you about my past as well.” You held Azriel’s hands, rubbing your thumbs along the back of his scarred hands. 

Azriel’s eyes were full of quiet understanding and encouragement. “If you aren’t ready to share, you don’t have to. I’m willing to listen whenever you’re ready.”

You smiled up at him before continuing, “Growing up in the Winter Court was often lonely for me. My mother died during childbirth with me and I know my father resented me for her death. No matter what I did, it felt like I could never live up to his expectations or earn his approval. His focus was always on his courtly duties or on training Kallias for his future as High Lord. I felt like a shadow in my own home, someone he wished would just disappear.”

Your voice faltered, and you could feel tears threatening to spill as silver began to line your eyes. Azriel noticed the strain in your voice and wrapped you in a comforting embrace. His arms were warm and reassuring, lending you the strength to continue.

“He had a short temper as well,” you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. “There were many nights that ended with him shouting at me, even if I did nothing to provoke him. Kallias was always the one to step in and diffuse the situation before it got worse. He’s been protective of me since then.”

Azriel held you close, his grip gentle but firm. His warmth and reassurance made you feel safe as you continued. “Kallias and Viviane were always my closest confidantes. Viviane was my escape from the suffocating confines of the palace. She’d help me sneak out to explore the Winter Court, showing me parts of our world beyond the palace walls. And Kallias, he wasn’t just a protective brother. He took the time to train me in the intricacies of court politics, preparing me for a role as his advisor when he became High Lord. He always promised me that I’d have a place by his side.”

“That all changed when Amarantha came around. My father was bewitched by her charm and fell for her deceptive allure, allowing her to gain his trust by becoming his lover. Kallias and I saw through her façade long before Under the Mountain, and we both tried to warn him. Kallias went as far as to encourage me to avoid any dinners or parties where Amarantha would be. My respectability as a future advisor went down from there in the eyes of other members of the court.”

You took a deep breath, feeling a sting of those memories. “Then, when Amarantha invited all the High Lords to Under the Mountain, our father forced Kallias to go. I’ll never forget when Kallias sent Viviane that one final message before Amarantha took their powers away. Kallias left Viviane in charge and told her to ‘not let me get hurt’.” Azriel looked at you, his eyes filled with sadness and empathy. 

“Viviane did everything she could to keep me safe. We both knew that Kallias wouldn’t have wanted me to take charge of the court because I would become a target, especially with my lack of battle training. Viviane didn’t care though. She let me help her take care of our people for those 50 years. Despite the danger, she made sure I was involved – that I had a purpose. When Kallias came home, he became even more protective than before and he was content to keep me in the palace. His extreme protectiveness became stifling and it felt like a reversal of everything Viviane had done to help me.”

Azriel’s hand gently squeezed yours, his gaze tender and reassuring. “Thank you for sharing this with me, Y/N. Your story only proves how strong – how brave – you are. I understand why Kallias is so protective, even if his idea of keeping you safe was wrong. I will prove to him that I’m worthy of you, Y/N.”

A wide smile broke onto your face and tears welled in your eyes at the sincerity of Azriel’s promise. You sent a wave of adoration down the bond and Azriel smiled back at you. As the tears in your eyes began to spill over, Azriel gently wiped them away with his thumb. The gesture was tender, his touch gentle and full of care. You could feel his own emotions through the bond—a blend of fierce devotion and unwavering support.

Hours felt like minutes as you and Azriel spent getting to know each other on the balcony. The sun was beaming down as you both basked in its warmth, a golden light that seemed to mirror the newfound clarity between you. The world outside the balcony faded into a distant murmur, leaving only the intimacy of your shared space.

Azriel’s laughter, light and genuine, was like a melody that lifted your spirits. You found yourself opening up about things you had never shared before, and he listened with an intensity that made you feel seen and understood in ways you hadn’t thought possible.

The conversation flowed effortlessly, touching on everything from childhood memories to dreams for the future. Each word exchanged deepened your connection, creating a bridge of understanding and trust that felt both delicate and unbreakable. 

The two of you reluctantly made your way back into the palace for dinner that should begin shortly. Azriel’s hand was entwined with yours, and you could feel the warmth of his touch, grounding and reassuring after hours of deep, heartfelt conversation. The air was cool against your skin as you entered the palace, a gentle contrast to the warmth of the sun-soaked balcony. The quiet, hushed atmosphere of the halls were a stark contrast to the conversation the two of you had shared, making the moment feel serene.

As you reached a secluded corridor, Azriel pulled you aside and turned you to face him. The soft faelight illuminated his sharp features. His gaze locked onto yours, and the world outside the palace seemed to fade into nothingness.

For a moment, there was only the sound of your combined breaths, mingling in the stillness. Azriel’s thumb lightly brushed your cheek. Your eyes softened as you looked at him and leaned into his other hand that now cupped your face. Slowly, you leaned in, and Azriel met you halfway. Your lips gently explored his as you savored this moment and every sensation you felt. Your hands moved instinctively, one resting on his chest while the other found its way to his neck, pulling him closer.

The kiss deepened, growing more passionate than other kisses you had shared, but it held the same sincerity and affection that had marked your day together. Azriel’s arms wrapped around your back, his lips slowly moving down your neck. Breathy moans escaped your lips as he continued, leaving marks as he moved to your collarbone. The intimate moment was ruined as a loud voice cracked through the silence.

“Azriel!”

Your eyes snapped to the main hall, and your heart dropped as you saw your brother with a storm of rage in his eyes. Kallias’s silent rage quickly turned into action as he surged forward. He ripped Azriel away from you and threw him against the wall of the main hall. 

Azriel recovered from his impact with the wall, but not before Kallias’s hands began to glow with evidence of ice gathering around his fingertips. Kallias shot a shard of ice in Azriel’s direction, aiming for his abdomen. Azriel winnowed out of the way, barely missing the ice traveling through where he stood. 

“Do not touch my sister!” Kallias shouted, his voice filled with fury. 

Azriel dodged another shard of ice that Kallias hurled at him, the projectile narrowly missing him as it embedded into the wall behind. Azriel’s shadows swirled around him, reacting fiercely to the danger, their tendrils extending towards you and wrapping around you with a comforting, gentle touch. The scene was a chaotic ballet of ice and shadows, with Kallias’s eyes locked onto Azriel, his fury unyielding as he conjured more shards of ice with lethal precision.

“Kallias, I have no intention of hurting Y/N,” Azriel’s voice cut through the storm of magic. “She is my mate. Why would I cause her harm?”

Suddenly, the hall was filled with the sound of footsteps and concerned voices as everyone burst from the dining room. Everyone watched on, unsure of how to stop the two males and the storm of their magic. 

Desperation surged through you as you continued to watch the confrontation grow between Azriel and Kallias. Determined to end the madness, you took a deep breath and ran into the crossfires of the magic.

“Stop it, both of you!” you shouted, your voice breaking through the clamor of clashing magic. You thrust yourself between them, trying to shield yourself from the ice and shadows.

Still in his frenzied state, Kallias was unable to stop his next attack. A shard of ice, propelled with immense force, pierced your shoulder as you intervened. You gasped and fell to the floor, the cold of the ice spread quickly through your body, mixing with the searing heat of your injury. 

Azriel’s face dropped in horror as you fell. His shadows raced forward and guarded you with a shadowed embrace. Azriel dropped beside you and held you.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Azriel’s face was pale with concern and anguish. 

Viviane and the others rushed from the other side of the hall toward you and Azriel. Viviane smoothed the ruffled pieces of hair as tears ran down your face.  “Y/N, we need to get you help,” Viviane said, her voice filled with concern. 

Cassian’s eyes were dark with rage as he took in the scene. “What the hell, Kallias? What were you thinking,” Cassian roared, his voice echoing with fury. Cassian raced towards Kallias, his fist clenched at his side, ready to hit Kallias.

“Cassian, that’s enough,” Rhysand said, his voice filled with lethal command.“Our focus must be on Y/N’s safety, not on how Kallias lost control and endangered her—and Azriel.”

Rhysand’s gaze turned to Kallias, his eyes reflecting a mix of disappointment and steely resolve. “You will answer for this,” he said, his tone brooking no argument. “This is your sister and you could’ve killed her.”

Kallias, visibly shaken and guilt-ridden, could only nod silently, unable to meet Rhysand’s piercing gaze.

Despite the searing pain and the icy cold spreading through your body, your anger flared uncontrollably. You struggled to maintain your composure, but your voice cut through the air like a blade. “You couldn’t trust me or my judgment enough, and this is what you resort to?” Your glare was fierce, filled with betrayal and hurt. “You’re no better than our father, Kallias.”

The accusation in your tone struck Kallias with a force stronger than the one that caused your injury. Viviane winced at your words, her eyes brimming with a pain that mimicked what her mate felt at your words. Kallias dropped down beside Viviane, and grasped your hand in his.

“Y/N, I—I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Kallias stammered, his voice breaking. “I would never purposely hurt you. You know that.”

You jerked your hand away from his grip, the swift movement sending a jolt of pain through your injured body. “No, you wouldn’t. You only intended to harm my mate and take me back to the Winter Court where you could keep me locked away,” you spat, your voice filled with raw anger and hurt.

Kallias’s face fell, his eyes brimming with a mix of guilt and anguish. He was left kneeling beside Viviane, unable to meet your furious gaze. The gravity of your words seemed to sink in deeply, leaving him visibly shaken.

“Let me take you to a healer, please, Y/N.” Kallias’s voice cracked. 

“No, I don’t want to be around you, Kallias.” The pain in your shoulder was becoming overwhelming. You looked up at Azriel, who still held you in his arms. “Azriel, I want to go with you. Take me to your home – to the Night Court.” Azriel between you and Rhysand, his eyes unsure. Rhysand came over and placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder.

“Take her home, Az. I’ll have Madja waiting for you.”

The pain in your shoulder became unbearable as the room started fading out. The last thing you remember were Kallias and Viviane’s concerned stares as Azriel winnowed you away.

You awoke in an unfamiliar room with dim lights making it difficult to figure out where you were. The dull pain in your shoulder was a persistent reminder of the chaotic events that led to this moment. You shifted cautiously, trying to get a better sense of your surroundings without aggravating the pain. 

Azriel was asleep in a chair next to your bed. His head was tipped forward, and his breathing was steady and even. The sight of him, looking so vulnerable and exhausted, brought a mixture of relief and guilt.

You tried to call out softly, but your voice was barely a whisper. “Azriel…”

At the faint sound of your voice, Azriel stirred. His eyes fluttered open, and he immediately straightened in his chair, concern flashing across his face as he saw you awake.

“You’re awake,” he said, his voice a gentle mix of relief and worry. He reached out to take your hand in his, his touch warm and reassuring. “How are you feeling?”

You managed a small, pained smile. “My shoulder still hurts a lot. How are you?”

Azriel chuckled at your concern for him and rubbed his thumb along the back of your hand, his touch a soft comfort. “I’m fine. I’ve been worried about you. I’m glad you’re awake.”

The exhaustion was etched into the lines of his face, but his tender touch reminded you of the depth of his affection. “You need to get some rest too,” you said quietly.

“I’d much rather be here with you.” His gaze lingered on you, full of relief.

“How long have I been asleep,” you asked as your eyes met his with warmth and curiosity.

“A few hours,” Azriel’s smile softened. “Madja gave you a sleeping tonic to keep you asleep while she healed you. She talked about how deep your wound was and she didn’t want to hurt you further.”

You nodded, taking in the information while feeling comforted by his presence. “Thank you for staying with me,” you said softly, your eyes conveying more than words could.

Azriel squeezed your hand gently, his expression a blend of relief and unwavering support. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

You looked deep into Azriel’s eyes, confusion lingering on your features. “Azriel, I know we’re in the Night Court, but where are we?”

Azriel smiled at you, pure joy present in his eyes as he leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek.

“You’re in Velaris.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @marvelsmylife@darlingoftheshadowss@scatteredstardustt @elizabethrosecresswell @lilah-asteria @azrielsmate3

[azrielandhisshadows]

winter's kiss (3)

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 1.9k

summary: Azriel comes to your room and finds you in the midst of your doubt regarding the mating bond. Azriel opens up to you in hopes that you start to trust him

a/n: right now, I think this series will be 5 parts. I hope you enjoy!

part 1 part 2 part 4 part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your heart pounded as you looked at your mate standing outside your door. His hair was disheveled, evidence that he’d been running his fingers through. You sensed the weight of concern in his eyes, and the depth of worry that etched itself into every line in his face. The golden thread tying you together made your heart pound as you studied every detail of him. Despite the horrors Kallias told you clouding your emotions, there was an innate part of you that longed to reach out to him – to hold him.

“Y/N,” Azriel said, his voice a small whisper. “Can I come in?”

His words broke you from your trance as you nodded and stepped aside, allowing him to follow you into your room. You sat at the edge of your bed and watched as he sat in a chair across from you. Azriel settled into the seat, his posture tense, but the demeanor gentle as he looked around the room. His eyes landed on the ice that remained near your bed, a remnant of your earlier turmoil. 

“I wanted to speak to you after the meeting, but Kallias made you leave so quickly.” You slowly nodded to Azriel’s words, taking slow deep breaths to control the storm beginning to rage within you. Azriel’s eyes met yours as he took a similar controlled breath, “I know this is overwhelming, Y/N. I’m overwhelmed too, but I would be lying if I denied how excited I am. I’ve been waiting for my mate for a long time.”

A wave of warmth flooded your bond at Azriel’s confession, a warmth that started to melt the ice between you. “Growing up, I read stories of great loves that lasted centuries. Mates that chased after each other despite the odds that came against them. They fought for each other, damning the consequences of their actions. I see that type of love in Kallias and Viviane and I couldn’t help but be envious of them. I never imagined finding that type of love from the confines of the Winter Court.”

Azriel’s eyes softened at your confession, his own emotions stirred by your words. You inhaled deeply before continuing, “Azriel, the innate part of me longs for you, which is crazy because I just met you; however, Kallias and Viviane told me things about you. Kallias shared rumors of a darkness that follows you. Death and destruction that follows you,” Azriel’s posture tightened, showing his fear of your next words. “Viviane, on the other hand, told me stories of a man who loves deeply and will protect those of importance to him. Quite frankly, I don’t know what to believe. Help me understand, Azriel – help me understand you.” 

You focused your attention on him, watching as a tear fell onto his scarred hands. His leg bounced up and down, nervousness flowing from the calm and stoic man you met hours ago. Azriel’s gaze remained locked on his hands as more tears fell, and he took a moment to compose himself. The vulnerability in his eyes was stark against the hardened exterior he often displayed. When he finally looked up, his eyes met yours with a mixture of sorrow and determination.

“Darkness has seemed to always follow me, ever since I was young. My father was an Illyrian lord. I lived with him, my stepmother, and two half-brothers. My stepmother and half-brothers didn’t like my presence and kept me locked away in a cell with no windows and light. They kept me as a prisoner, only giving me one hour outside everyday. They didn’t let me fly and I grew up fighting against every instinct in my body that begged me to get away. One day, my brothers decided to see how quickly Illyrian healing could take place,” his voice broke as he paused, searching for the strength to continue. “They poured oil on my hands and set them on fire. Some of my father’s warriors heard my screams and cries for help, but by the time they reached me, the damage had been done. That is why my hands are this way,” he said, lifting his hands for you to see.

Your heart ached as Azriel shared his painful past, each word carried the weight of his suffering. “Then, my powers came in. My shadows only grew in the darkness of my cell. Eventually, my father decided to send me to an Illyrian camp, so I could start training and honing my powers. That’s where I met Rhys and Cassian. We didn’t always get along,” Azriel chuckled as he remembered the beginning of his deepest friendships. “But we grew together and we became each other’s family. I would do anything for them and the rest of our court.”

You listened intently, absorbing the depth of Azriel’s past, the pain he had endured, and the fierce loyalty he felt toward his friends and his court. The revelation of his past brought a swell of compassion and a desire to comfort him.

“I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you went through,” you said softly, reaching out to gently touch his hand, the warmth of your skin contrasting with the coolness of his scars. “It’s hard to reconcile the darkness you’ve faced with the person sitting here before me.”

Azriel’s eyes met yours with a mix of gratitude and vulnerability. “The darkness is a part of me, Y/N. It’s shaped who I am, but it doesn’t define me. I’ve learned to use it as a strength rather than letting it consume me. I’ve fought hard to protect those I love and to ensure that no one else has to endure what I did.”

He took a deep breath, his voice steadying. “As for the rumors—there’s truth to the darkness. I’ve been involved in situations that required me to make difficult choices, choices that sometimes led to pain and destruction. But that’s not all there is to me. I strive to balance that with the love and loyalty I feel for my friends, my court, and now, you.”

You nodded, absorbing his words. “I want to believe in the male Viviane described—the one who loves deeply and protects fiercely, but I’ve been trapped for so long. I know I’m naive and I often believe in fantasies that my mind makes up. There have been males in the past that have taken advantage of that and I’ve been left hurting. Kallias was always there to pick up my broken pieces. Kallias has always been my protector and I can’t go by and disregard his concern for a male I’ve just met.”

Azriel’s gaze remained steady, despite the sadness that grew in them. “Y/N, I understand your hesitations. I would be weary if I were in your place. I want to build a relationship with you based on trust and understanding. I don’t share my past with everyone, but I want you to know me beyond my dark reputation. Please, if you give me a chance, I will show you that I’m worthy of your trust.”

You felt a deep sigh of relief at his words. “I want to believe that, Azriel. I want to see the person beyond the rumors and the pain. Let’s take the time we have here to get to know each other, to understand each other better. We have until we leave the Dawn Court.”

Azriel’s expression softened, a faint smile breaking through. “I’d like that. I want us to build something real, something lasting. I know it won’t be easy, but I’m willing to try.”

You reached out and took his hand, your heart swelling with a cautious hope. “Let’s start with that. Let’s see where this path takes us.”

Azriel squeezed your hand gently, a promise of his commitment and sincerity. “Thank you, Y/N. I won’t let you down.” Azriel brought your hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on your palm. He rose from his chair and watched as you laid on your once frozen bed. The warmth from his gaze moved to your lips and you felt a blush take over your cheeks. 

You looked at the handsome male standing at your bedside and your gaze shifted to his lips as he licked them. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

The room was bathed in a soft glow from the moonlight that creeped in. His gaze didn’t leave you, both of you filled with sudden anticipation and need. As he held your hand, the warmth of his touch seemed to melt away any lingering doubt and fear you harbored. His delicate plea hung in the air and tugged at your heart. His eyes filled with sincerity and a raw honesty that made it difficult to look away. A breath caught in your throat as you nodded, giving him the silent permission he sought. 

Azriel’s expression softened further, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and longing. Slowly, he leaned in, his movements deliberate and tender. The space between you shrank until you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. He paused for a heartbeat, giving you the chance you back away.

You didn’t move. Instead, you tilted your head slightly, meeting him halfway. When his lips finally brushed against yours, it was a gentle, exploratory touch—a whisper of a kiss that spoke of all the emotions neither of you had yet fully expressed. His lips were warm and surprisingly soft, contrasting with the cold of his scars, and the sensation sent a shiver down your spine.

The kiss deepened as you both surrendered to the moment. Azriel’s hand moved to your cheek, his touch gentle as he cradled your face. His lips molded to yours with a tenderness that made you feel cherished and safe. It was as if the kiss was a promise, a vow to navigate the uncertainty together and build something meaningful out of the chaos.

You responded with equal tenderness, your hand still resting in his, your other hand rising to touch his face. The kiss was a dance of exploration, a slow, deliberate melding of two souls finding their way to each other. Time seemed to stretch, and in that moment, the world outside ceased to exist.

Azriel pulled away, his smile portraying the same hope that your kiss shared. The room transitioned into a serene quiet, disturbed only by the soft breeze whistling through the windows. He looked at you and you could tell he was weighing his next words carefully. 

“I’ll let you rest now,” Azriel’s voice, a soft murmur in the serenity. “I’d like to have breakfast with you in the morning, if that’s alright with you.”

Your face broke into a soft, yet tired, smile, “I’d like that.” 

Azriel stood, his tall presence acting as a comforting shadow over you. He reached for your hand once more, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting go. He turned to leave, his smile full of hope and gratitude for the moment you shared. As he reached the door, he looked back at you and paused.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he said softly.

His eyes lingered on your tired form as you looked to him, “Goodnight, Azriel.”

Azriel permitted himself one more soft look filled with admiration at you before he stepped out of the room. The soft click of the door closing behind him acted as a gentle reminder of the moment you two had shared.

As you settled back onto your bed, the warmth of the kiss still lingering on your lips, you felt a sense of peace that had eluded you for so long. You gazed out the window at the stars over the Dawn Court, the night embracing you as you dreamed of the days ahead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @marvelsmylife @darlingoftheshadowss @scatteredstardustt

[azrielandhisshadows]

Will you be doing a part 2 to winters kiss?

Leaving on that cliff hanger has me needing more!

just posted it!

read part two here

I hope you love it!

[azrielandhisshadows]

winter's kiss (2)

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 1.8k

summary: after finding your mate at the High Lords meeting, you go through all the emotions that come with it, only, your older brother, Kallias, isn't happy about who your mate is. emotional chaos and distress ensues.

warnings: overprotective Kallias, beginnings of a panic attack, brief mentions of torture/death

a/n: I had fun writing this second part. please let me know what you think and if you have any requests, feel free to leave them! if you want to be added to a taglist for this series, let me know!

part 1 part 3 part 4 part 5

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All attention remained on you and Azriel as your stares bore into each other. His eyes expressed an untold depth of emotion. You reached out for him, desperate to bridge the space between you and your mate. Kallais’s supportive touch changed to a tight grip around your arm.

“Kallias,” you whimpered, the pain evident in your voice. “You’re hurting me.” 

Kallias’s grip softened slightly, but he didn’t relent as he led you away from the group. His jaw was set with a tension unlike anything you had seen from your usually calm brother. A deep, primal growl rumbled from Azriel’s chest as he raced forward, his instincts in overdrive.

Cassian and Rhysand acted swiftly and placed themselves into Azriel’s path. Forming a strong barrier, they stopped him before he could slam his body into Kallias. “Az, please stop. Don’t do anything you’ll regret,” Rhysand said, his voice an urgent command.

Azriel stepped away, his posture tense as he struggled to contain his rage. His simmering fury melted away as he looked at you, his eyes filled with worry as he watched Kallias drag you farther away. 

“Kallias, please let me go,” you choked out as the golden thread of your mating bond urged you toward Azriel. “Y/N, I don’t want you around him. We’ll discuss this after the meeting,” Kallias spat out. Viviane shot him a look of disapproval, “Kallias, you can’t possibly expect to keep her away from her mate. What would you do if someone kept us away from each-“

“Viviane, enough. I am your High Lord. Do not question me,” Kallias bit out. Viviane let out an exasperated sigh and sat next to you. She placed an arm around your shoulder and let you lean into her. As the other High Lords filtered into the room, you couldn’t help but lean into Viviane as your eyes welled with tears.

The meeting, once longed for, became distant as your thoughts were focused on the presence of your mate. Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard, “Be careful how you speak about my High Lady,” come from across the room. The once golden thread connecting you to Azriel was filled with an unmistakable edge as he glared toward the High Lord of Spring. The command that flowed from your mate overwhelmed you as you leaned more into Viviane for comfort. 

As the meeting proceeded, Azriel’s attention returned to you. The rage and intimidation that once flowed from his posture ceased as he looked at you. You felt a pull from the bond that linked you to him, as if he could feel your discomfort from the scene that had played in front of you. He looked at you, his eyes filled with concern.

You looked away, unable to meet his gaze. The instincts from the mating bond made your heart long for Azriel, but you couldn’t help wondering if your mate’s temper was always so volatile. You wondered how much Kallias knew of your new-found mate and if his knowledge contributed to his protective nature as the reveal of your mating bond. Looking toward your mate once more, you noticed Azriel’s saddened gaze focused on the ground. 

When the meeting drew to a close, you stood from your seat and began to walk towards Azriel. Before you could make it far, Kallias’s grip on your arm returned and led you away from the meeting room. He led you toward your room with Viviane at your side. As the door to your room slammed shut, the tension between the three of you was thick enough that it felt hard to breathe. Silence reigned between you and Kallias as you both looked at each other, waiting for someone to break the quiet. Viviane sighed, “Kallias, explain yourself.”

Kallias, his face wrought with tension and frustration, paced in front of the bed where Viviane sat comforting you. “Y/N, I am doing this for your safety. I have heard… terrible things about Azriel. He is a monster.” Confusion etched your features as you looked at your brother, your voice trembling, “I… I don’t understand.” 

“His role in the Night Court is based on pure violence. He is the Spymaster, Y/N. If anyone has information that benefits the Court and will not share it, he tortures them… and once he is done, he disposes of them.” Kallias trailed off, struggling to make eye contact with you. You choked out a breath as you sat and tried to process this information. The mating bond was supposed to be between two fae of equal power. If your mate was capable of such darkness, what did that mean about your power? You had always been in great control of your power, but in this moment, you couldn’t help but feel your hands begin to grow cold as the ice started to creep out. 

Kallias’s words hung in the room as an overwhelming presence. The statements he made about Azriel weighed heavily on you. The comfort and light that you had felt from your mating bond turned distant and cold against the reality of what Kallias described. Viviane’s comforting presence didn’t budge as the ice crept up your arms. She placed a soft hand on your shoulder, providing you safety from your inner turmoil.

“Kallias,” Viviane said, disapproval lining her tone. “We can’t judge Azriel based on rumors we’ve heard or on his role in the Night Court. We have all done unspeakable things. Y/N can’t be kept away from her mate because you are afraid.” 

Kallias’s face was grim, “I do not judge him lightly. His role is notorious for its brutality. Viviane, you and I have both seen the effects of it – death to those who do not cooperate. I can’t let Y/N be exposed to that.” 

The ice continued to spread up your arms and across your chest, panic setting in. “If Azriel is truly capable of such darkness, what does that say about my power?” The question was barely a whisper as you voiced your newfound fear. 

Viviane and Kallias’s intensity softened with concern as they looked at you. Tears began falling from your eyes, freezing once they hit your hands. “Y/N, you are not a monster.” Kallias said, his voice softening as he pulled you into a comforting embrace. “You and Azriel are equally powerful, but you would never use the powers the Cauldron blessed you with for evil.” 

Viviane leaned closer, her voice steady and supportive. “Kallias, please leave us. I need to talk to Y/N alone.” Kallias hesitated, but Viviane’s stern look made him step back, leaving you and Viviane alone.

“Y/N, look at me,” Viviane urged, gently tilting your head up. “Your brother is right—you are not a monster. You can’t let fear dictate your view of your bond. I don’t know Azriel well, but I do know Mor. From what I’ve heard, Azriel is a good male. His role may involve dark and unspeakable deeds, but he doesn’t take pleasure in them. He doesn’t harm innocents.”

The room was filled with uneasy silence as Viviane’s words settled between you. You struggled to process everything, the ice on your skin a chilling reminder of the fear that clung to you. Viviane’s calm presence was a lifeline, but your mind was still reeling.

“Viviane,” you said, your voice trembling. “I want to believe you, but the things Kallias said—they were so stark. How can I trust that Azriel is different from what I’ve heard?”

Viviane’s eyes softened with sympathy. She reached out and gently took your hands, still cold and icy from your turmoil. “I know it’s overwhelming, Y/N. It’s a lot to handle, but trust me when I say that there’s more to people than the roles they play.”

She paused, giving you a moment to absorb her words. “Mor has shared many stories about Azriel, and while his role as Spymaster is daunting, it doesn’t define the entirety of who he is. He does what is necessary to protect those he loves.”

You tried to focus on Viviane’s words, but the image of Azriel as a torturer loomed large in your mind. “What if I’m wrong about him? What if the bond isn’t enough to make me see who he truly is?”

Viviane shook her head gently, her gaze steady and full of sisterly reassurance. “The bond is more than just a connection of equal power. It’s about understanding, trust, and giving each other the chance to show who you really are. The fact that you’re struggling with this shows how much you care about understanding him, and that’s important.”

She squeezed your hands gently, the warmth from her touch slowly melting the ice that had crept over your skin. “It’s okay to be scared and confused. But remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. You have the right to explore and understand this bond on your own terms.”

The fear didn’t dissipate entirely, but Viviane’s comforting presence helped to shift it. “What if Kallias can’t see past his fears to understand Azriel?”

Viviane glanced at the door, where Kallias had been standing moments before. “Kallias loves you fiercely, Y/N. His fear comes from a place of wanting to protect you. He’s struggling to see beyond his own fears, but ultimately, he wants you to be happy. If pursuing your mating bond will make you happy, Kallias will come to understand your choices, even if your choices differ from what he wants.”

Her words offered a sliver of comfort as your unease dominated your thoughts. “Viviane,” you said, taking a deep breath, “I need some time to process all of this. Thank you for your help.”

Viviane’s expression softened with understanding and she pulled you into a comforting embrace. “Of course. Take all the time you need and, regardless of what you choose, your brother and I are always here for you.”

As Viviane left the room, you couldn’t help but sink into your bed as your fear and confusion overwhelmed you. The crystals of ice on your arms and chest served as a reflection of the chill on your emotions. Your room was unbearably quiet, amplifying the shouting of your racing thoughts. 

Tears streamed down your face as you tried to make sense of everything. The connection with Azriel, once a beacon of comfort, now felt tainted by fear. Exhausted from the emotional turmoil, you lay in your bed, the icy crystals on your skin serving as a reflection of your inner chaos. Just as you were about to slip into a fitful sleep, a soft knock at the door jolted you awake.

With a mix of hope and dread, you opened the door to find Azriel standing there, his hazel eyes filled with concern.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice a soothing balm amidst your distress.

“Azriel…”

[azrielandhisshadows]

winter's kiss

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 1.2k (I tried to make this shorter, but I'm a yapper)

warning: over-protective, older brother, Kallias

summary: the reader has lived a sheltered life under her brother, Kallias, the high lord of the Winter Court. when the reader is given the opportunity to go to the Dawn Court for the High Lords meeting, she is ecstatic. While there, she meets the most of the Inner Circle and one of those members will change her life

part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

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Light reflecting from the snow outside blinded you as you stepped out onto your balcony. Despite living in the Winter Court your entire life, you have never gotten used to the views of the snow-capped mountains and the city sprawling beneath you. You only wish you could see what was beyond the snow-capped mountains. 

Your older brother, Kallias, had always been determined to keep you safe from the dangers lurking outside your home. During Amarantha’s reign, he kept you hidden, and all you knew of the terrors she inflicted on your people were whispers. Even after her defeat and the stories of a human who had freed Prythian, your life remained firmly within the confines of the Winter Court.

You sat in the corner of your room, reading one of the many books that have allowed you to imagine the world outside of the Winter Court. Stories of fierce warriors that protected their people from outside danger, much like the threat of Hybern that loomed on the periphery. Your heart sank at the thought of another threat plaguing your home. Another threat that you were powerless to stop.

A knock sounded at your door and Kallias and Viviane entered your room. Viviane directed her attention to the book you held in your hands and gave you a sympathetic smile, knowing how you desired to escape your sheltered life. Your brother cleared his throat and looked uneasy as he said, “Y/N, we have decided to bring you with us to the Dawn Court for the High Lords’ meeting.”

Your breath left you at your brother’s announcement. Viviane’s gaze met your own with a satisfied smile, knowing that she had persuaded her mate to allow you to attend this meeting with them. Shooting up from your chair, you wrapped your brother in your arms, holding him tightly, “Kallias, thank you. This is fantastic! What do I need to do during the meeting?”

Kallias’s stoic demeanor softened as he returned the hug, ruffling your hair affectionately. “Easy there. You don’t need to do anything specific. You’re my best-kept secret, and I want the High Lords to see that I trust them—and that I trust you. Just be yourself.”

You pulled away slightly, a playful smirk on your lips. “Best-kept secret? That’s better than being your biggest embarrassment, I suppose.”

Kallias rolled his eyes, though a smile tugged at his lips. “Oh, very funny. Just try not to make me regret this decision. We don’t need a repeat of that time you tried to help me with diplomatic correspondence and nearly signed us up for a snowball fight in the city.”

Laughter erupted from you and Viviane and you nudged Kallias’s shoulder, “I promise there will be no accidental diplomatic disasters, but I might bring up how the High Lord of the Winter Court lost said snowball fight.” Kallias chuckled, shaking his head. “I would expect nothing less from you, but you need to get packed. We leave in the morning.” Kallias gave you a quick hug and left to oversee final preparations.

Viviane lingered in your room, her warm presence a stark contrast to the cool air outside. “Let’s get you packed. We have a lot to prepare for and I want you to be able to enjoy everything the Dawn Court has to offer.”

Night passed into morning and you were unable to sleep due to the excitement of your awaiting departure for the Dawn Court. A golden hue broke through your curtains signaling that it was time to leave. You met Kallias and Viviane in Kallias’s office as they were going over final details. Viviane looked at you expectantly. “How are you feeling, Y/N? 

You look between the mated couple, your heart beating out of your chest. “I’m as ready as I can be. Let’s go!” Kallias chuckled at your enthusiasm. Receiving a nod from Viviane, he raised his hand and enveloped the three of you in a sparkling blue. You felt the frigid air of the Winter Court begin to dissipate and was replaced by a warm breeze unlike anything you had felt before. Blossoming flowers and chatter from the halls reached your ears as you took in the sunlit room you were winnowed into. A squeal pierced your ears and you looked over in time to see a tall blonde embrace Viviane in a hug. 

“Mor, how I’ve missed you.” Viviane said to the female, returning her hug with equal excitement. Viviane and Mor separated from their embrace, both wearing wide smiles from the reunion. “Viviane, you look fantastic! I’m so excited that you’re here,” Mor’s gaze glanced to your wide-eyed frame, still taking in your new surroundings, “Who is this?”

You looked at the beautiful female and reached out a hand, “I’m Y/N. I’m Kallias’s sister.” Mor looked in between the three of you with shock lining her features. 

“Kallias, I did not know you had a sister.” 

Kallias’s cold features looked at the bright-eyed female and looked at you protectively, “No one outside of the Winter Court does.” Mor looked uncomfortable as Kallias placed a protective hand on your shoulder. You peered behind Mor’s to the group she came with and you saw three striking males with large, membranous wings behind them, their tan skin and dark hair making them stand out. One of the females looked at you, confusion lining her features, trying to figure out who you were.

Mor’s gaze followed yours, and she stepped aside to reveal the group behind her. “Let me introduce you to the rest of the Inner Circle.”

The first to step forward was a male with an aura of effortless confidence. His violet eyes pierced into you as he extended a hand with a grin. “I’m Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Your jaw dropped as you hesitantly accepted his hand. Rhysand, the most powerful high lord in Prythian and the one who was rumored to have killed the Winter Court children.

Seeing your discomfort, Rhysand’s smile faltered slightly. “I assure you, I didn’t harm those children. I understand if you’re wary, but I hope we can start fresh.”

His words carried a sincerity that eased your anxiety a bit. As he introduced you to the rest of his court, Cassian’s boisterous welcome and Feyre’s warm smile helped to soften the tension. Yet, it was Azriel who captured your focus completely. As his shadowy tendrils brushed against your arm, an unexpected wave of nausea surged through you. Your vision blurred momentarily as an intense, disorienting sensation swept over you.

Kallias and Viviane were instantly by your side, their concern palpable. “Y/N, are you alright?” Viviane’s voice was filled with worry, her hand gently resting on your back.

You struggled to steady yourself, unable to tear your eyes away from Azriel. His face was a mask of shock, his usually composed demeanor fractured. When he whispered, his voice barely more than a breath, it was as if the room itself fell silent, drawing all attention to his words. “Mate. You’re my mate.”

The weight of his revelation settled over you like a tangible force. The golden thread of connection that linked you both was almost visible, a shimmering bond that pulled at your very essence.

Mate.

[azrielandhisshadows]

taste

pairing: former azriel x reader, azriel x elain

word count: 1.5K

summary: azriel left the reader for the elain and she is having trouble getting over him. she wants him to remember all their moments when he is with elain.

warnings: sexual tension, vengeful reader, and azriel not knowing what he wants

a/n: this is loosely based off 'taste' by sabrina carpenter and i've needed a fic written for it. the reader is in her revenge era! this is my first fic in a very long time so let me know what you think!

-

Oh I leave quite an impression, 5 feet to be exact. You’re wondering why half his clothes went missing. My body’s where they’re at

It’s been 3 weeks since Azriel ended your relationship to crawl back to Elain. 3 weeks that have left you confined to your bed unable to sleep, unable to do many things except cry about what could’ve been. The shadow of your former self haunted you - the person you were with Azriel. You were a bright star to his darkest night. You were at your happiest with him. He destroyed the happiness for a female who was mated to another male.

You reached into your drawer for the pieces of Azriel that you had hid away before the end of your relationship. Sliding on the oversized shirt, you were reminded of how you used to be the center of his world. The faint aroma brought a flood of memories—missed training sessions, family dinners—spent in the intimacy of his arms. Azriel’s instincts always seemed to overwhelm him whenever you wore his clothing, his desire evident.

You smirked at your reflection, a resolve hardening in your eyes. Tonight, you intended to make sure Azriel never forgot those stolen moments.

As you entered the dining room, a sudden hush fell over the table. Azriel’s breath hitched, his cheeks flushing with a mix of surprise and embarrassment as he took in your appearance. Elain’s gaze darted between you and Azriel, her confusion clear as she did not understand the significance of this moment. The room was charged with unspoken tension as eyes followed you, and you took your seat between Nesta and Amren, the weight of your gesture hanging in the air.

“y/n, the Shadowsinger looks as if he’s seen a ghost,” Amren remarked as she leaned over to you. Taking a sip of your wine, you smirk before saying back “That was the plan. To remind him of the ghost of our relationship and remind him of our best moments.” Amren leaned away, a small satisfied smile present on her lips. 

Nesta looked at you disapprovingly before muttering, “I know that Azriel and Elain hurt you, but this is not the way to get over it. You are better than this, y/n.”

You looked over Nesta’s shoulder, relishing in the tension of Azriel’s jaw as he tried to regain his composure. His shadows swirled around him, revealing his inner turmoil. Azriel’s gaze met your own, his eyes dark with longing and regret. The memories you shared in this shirt seemed to haunt him.

“Nes, I don’t care. I need him to remember. For my sake and his own.”

Now I’m gone, but you’re still laying, next to me one degree of separation

The bedroom door shut behind Elain as she stepped inside. A chill coming into the room from the open balcony. The fresh air acting as a cleansing breath from the events that occurred at dinner. Azriel was already on the balcony, the moonlight highlighting his sharp features. His posture was tense as he rested against the rail of the balcony. He sighed, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. 

“Az, are you alright?”

His attention shifted to Elain as she stood expectantly as the door. “I’m fine,” Azriel paused, debating how much he wanted to share, “I can’t help but think about the past.”

Elain’s breath hitched as Azriel moved to the bed, his head slumped with sadness that made Elain’s heart break. “I saw how you looked at her tonight. Does she still mean something to you?” Elain’s voice trembled as she asked the question her heart dreaded to know the answer to. 

Azriel’s gaze moved to the floor, “No.” Azriel’s voice was barely a whisper and filled with regret and sorrow. “Y/N was important to me. She helped me through some tough times. Seeing her in my shirt… it brought back some of our good memories. But, I’m with you Elain. I love you.” Elain stood between his legs and took his face in her hands. Azriel couldn’t meet Elain’s gaze as she lifted his face up.

“I want us to be happy, Azriel, like we were before Y/N. For us to work, I need you to be honest with me.” Elain pleaded, tears welling in her eyes. Azriel nodded and placed a kiss on Elain’s hand. Elain placed a gentle kiss to his lips and laid in their bed.

Elain stared at the ceiling, her mind uneasy with anxiety and sadness. She saw how Azriel looked at Y/N tonight. His gaze was filled with longing and she couldn’t forget his conflicted expression when asked about his feelings. Even his shadows were troubled by the events of the evening and Elain noticed stray shadows lingering around Y/N as everyone left the dining room. 

Elain struggled to put thoughts of Azriel and Y/N’s relationship away. She couldn’t help but wonder how their relationship worked. Her mind drifted off to her version of their most intimate moments. She could picture Azriel whispering admirations in Y/N’s ear before he kissed down her neck and learned her best kept secrets. Elain could picture everything Azriel did to her and everything he said to her, but Y/N being on the receiving end of Azriel’s love and affection.

With a sigh, Elain turned to face Azriel who was asleep and her heart ached at the thought of Azriel sleeping next to Y/N.  The thoughts of his former relationship clung to her thoughts, leaving her restless and uncertain. 

I heard you’re back together and if that’s true, you’ll just have to taste me when he’s kissing you. If you want forever and I bet you do, just know you’ll taste me too.

The days following the dinner had been filled with tension through the Inner Circle. Azriel giving you the cold shoulder and shooting you withering looks from across the room only fueled your resolve and your need for revenge. Tonight, you were going to make your last impression unforgettable. 

The cool and crisp air hit your face as you stepped onto the roof of the House of Wind, knowing Azriel came here to work out his frustrations. The sounds of fists hitting punching bags confirmed your suspicions. You hid in the shadows, watching the sweat drip down Azriel’s toned figure. Your heart fluttered at the sight of your former lover.

“Azriel,” you whispered, stepping out of the shadows, clad in another of his old shirts you kept at the end of your relationship. Azriel’s attention snapped to you. “What are you doing here, Y/N?” Azriel huffed, his surprise evident at your presence in the training ring. “I thought you could use some company. Remember all our late nights on this roof? Sometimes training, sometimes talking about our future, and other times, you having to cover my mouth so I wouldn’t expose our rendezvous to the rest of our friends,” you said as you brushed his hair out of his face. 

Azriel stiffened, his desire overwhelming his scent. “You should go. This isn’t a good idea.” Azriel said, his tone lacking the conviction of his words. You reached out to him, your fingers brushing his cheek and his walls dissolving at your gentle touch. “Az, I’m not here to make things more difficult. I only want you to remember… us. I need to remember how much we meant to each other.

The air was thick with desire and longing as Azriel closed the gap between you. Your lips melding with his, the intensity matched the kisses you once shared. Your breath caught in your throat as he wrapped his arms around you tightly, as if you would disappear if he let go. The kiss deepened, both of you pouring the years of passion into this single moment.

Azriel’s eyes were dark with sorrow as he pulled away, “Why are you doing this?” You lifted your hand to his cheek once again and stroked gently, looking into his hazel eyes. You breathed softly, still recovering from this moment you had longed for, “because, I need you to remember me when you kiss her. I can’t bear the thought of you forgetting what we had.”

“I could never forget you, Y/N.”

You gave him a small, vindictive smile before turning away. “Maybe that’s your problem,” you said over your shoulder. “You’re always clinging to the past. You were so focused on Elain while we were together, and now you’re haunted by me when you’re with her.”

You walked away, leaving him on the rooftop with his regrets and unresolved feelings. The cool night air felt like freedom, and you felt a sense of vindication. You had made your point and left your mark. Now, it was time to move on and forge a new path for yourself.