b1uechi1i

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House MD + text posts pt. ∞

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happy monday i'm thinking about shuggy again from luffy's perspective

when your loser idiot starter villain is the One Who Got Away for your beloved father figure who you look up to more than anyone else

just

nothing can beat Luffy being allophobic but ONLY to shanks and buggy

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joe biden: how do i look in this chef hat, giuseppe?

giuseppe, the presidential butler: waifish and breedable as always, muy lord

joe biben: fabulous. pass me the Improbable Meat

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this kitten weighs over 5 pounds already and he’s only 14 weeks old. He’s half the size of an adult cat and he hasn’t even lost his baby teeth yet

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God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth to climb trees and play with plastic animals are buying foundation at the drug store

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College should be free and you should be able to study “useless” degrees just for the love of learning

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somehow knowing that tumblr is being kept around mostly as a testing ground for advertisers and corporations doesn’t even make me feel that exploited, because every social media site is exploitive. but being basically lab rats to test shit on before it’s refined for use in polite society is by far the funniest possible way to be exploited.

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"Hey did you know Lex Luthor baby trapped Superman? Did you know they have a biological child? Did you know-" SHUT UPPP!!! WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT MY BOY KON??? Did YOU know that the original- the ORIGINAL story was that when Superman ☠️ DIED ☠️ a research lab called CADMUS stole his BODY to clone their OWN Superman but because he's invulnerable they couldn't get a 🧬 DNA SAMPLE 🧬 so they used genes from the lab's research director PAUL WESTFIELD as a base, then modified his sample genome so the clone would LOOK LIKE Superman and gave it the appearance of having his powers by giving him TACTILE TELEKINESIS based on Superman's invulnerability field (because it was outside the body they could scan and replicate it), which would allow him to telekinetically affect ANYTHING he was 🫳TOUCHING 🫳. This gave him the ability to FLY, super strength and invulnerability on top of other applications of his powers (such as telekinetically dismantling a bomb he was touching). He was meant to be developed into adulthood but was freed by the CLONE SONS of the CADMUS scientists BEFORE he fully developed, meaning he popped out at roughly 15 YEARS OLD and got called SUPERBOY. Lex didn't even KNOW HE EXISTED until he debuted on TV and he was MAD he didn't have in on the cloning shit. That's CANON if you actually 📖 READ 📖 the Death of Superman, but GEOFF JOHNS must have been reading with his EYES CLOSED because he wrote in a theory that Kon was actually "the clone of Lex Luthor and Superman" that was published and 🚫 DISMISSED 🚫 in the Superboy letters column because it was RIDICULOUS but then he got employed at DC and ten- TEN YEARS later in literally his FIRST issue writing Kon he made his no media literacy FAN THEORY canon and used THAT for shitty eugenics "but that means Kon has 👹 EVIL GENES 👹 from Lex Luthor what if that means he'll turn evil???" CHEAP ANGST STORYLINES and took away his COOL PUNK FIT and made him look like an ARMY BRAT LOSER.

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Soyjack condiment containers in the antique mall.

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going on pinterest and commenting “hmm… i find this really.. pinteresting…!” on every single post i see

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underrated autism moment

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When i was in middle school i was banned frm the twilight wiki bc i kept changing Edward’s photo to this

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"hey why are all the barrier garments like linen shirts or chemises or combinations going away?"

"oh we have more washable fabrics now! you don't need to worry about sweat reaching your outer clothing when you can just chuck it in the washing machine!"

"cool!"

[100 years later]

"so uh all of those new washable fabrics are leaching microplastics into our water, and the constant machine-washing wears garments out faster. they're also not really sturdy enough to be mended, so we keep having to throw them out and now the planet is covered in plastic fabric waste that will never break down. also it turns out that the new washable fabrics hold odor-causing bacteria VERY well. so could we get those barrier garments back please?"

"sorry babe linen now costs $100000/yard and since it's been so long without them, nobody knows how to adapt barrier garments to the current styles anyway"

"..."

"maybe try this new $50 undershirt made of Special Sweat-Wicking Plastic Fabric! :) :) :)"