babyyodathinks-blog

[babyyodathinks-blog]

Baby Yoda on...The Rise of Skywalker

My Daddy took me to see a movie today.

At first he thought he would have to smuggle me in because I’m just a baby. Even in our lawless post-empire galaxy, we have viewing standards for media and children. #DoGoodDigital y’all.

But actually we were in luck. The movie was rated PG-50, so I was old enough to see it as long as my Daddy was with me.

The movie was set in the future and it was called The Rise of Skywalker. It all seemed...very familiar. I wonder if it is at all related to that kid Ben who spends summers at The Lars Homestead on Tatooine.

Sometimes my daddy has business over there and was looking for a nice family to babysit me while he did his job, but the original owners kept dying. Now I think the place might be haunted.

Ben is only six years old, but he’s kind of a bully. He likes to dress in all black and wear helmets. I also think he pretends to have asthma because he fake wheezes all the time to sound like his grandpa. He also likes to brag that his grandpa was “The Chosen One”

I don’t know about that. His grandpa was kind of a baddie for a long time, but saw the light right before he died and took out an even bigger baddie who ran the entire Empire.

Ben’s grandpa and I are about the same age. I like to think that I have already made better choices in life even if some people think toddlers sometimes act like they are from Exegol.

Also, who says that I’m not the chosen one? I’m definitely the cuter one. I hope no one Neville Longbottoms me in the history of the universe. Never underestimate a droid...or a Neville. Unchosen ones can be just as brave as long as they don’t fall to the dark side.

I hope Ben has better role models. His mom is very nice and even though she doesn’t say it, I think she’s kind of a big deal. I don’t see his dad much. I heard he likes to fly around in some bird and shoots people first. Ben’s dad has a real thing against people in my Daddy’s line of work. Who knows why.

If Ben thinks his grandpa’s melted helmet is important, he should see my daddy‘s helmet. It’s the coolest!

Anyway, I thought the movie was pretty exciting, but I also think that my life with Daddy is pretty exciting.

I also think that good people are sometimes tempted to do questionable things, but that doing the right thing is always a choice one should make. I try to remember this whenever I’m tempted to force choke someone. Ben’s grandpa apparently made a career of that. I only use it to protect my Daddy.

I’m glad that my Daddy made the right choice and came back for me. He’s a good Daddy who is trying his very best.

Don’t worry, Daddy. I will never go all Kylo Ren on you.

I love you.

I know.

Coo.

[babyyodathinks-blog]

Hello!

You may know me as Baby Yoda, but my name is a secret. This is the story of how I met my Daddy and we became a clan of two.

I’m only 50 years old, which is older than my Daddy, but I still need him to take care of me since I am a baby. Species age differently.

I am also smol. Daddy needs to carry me around or let me follow him in my baby landspeeder that a very bad man called a pram.

This is the first time I met my Daddy. He thinks he saved me, but as you will see, I saved him.

Before we met, my Daddy was a workaholic bounty hunter who never smiled and was cool with freezing the people of the galaxy in carbonite to deliver them as bounties...if they survived.

He could have frozen me, too, especially after I tried to fly his ship. I was just exploring. I am a baby. That’s what babies do. But Daddy couldn’t stay mad at me.

I melted his beskar-covered heart the moment he laid eyes on me and took out that assassin droid without a second thought. That’s when I knew he loved me and would protect me no matter what.

He may seem all gruff and cool under that armor, but he reached out to touch my finger. I reached back, even though I am not ET.

Our adventure is just beginning. Coo.

Author notes: I know Baby Yoda isn’t really Yoda. Since he is a preverbal baby, he hasn’t yet adopted real Yoda’s syntax, so his thoughts are expressed in basic human grammar in a linear fashion. All characters belong to LucasFilm and no copyright infringement is intended. This is a parody. Stick around if you wish and thanks for reading 😄