bad-at-metaphors

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why do I have to the the one losing my fucking mind it's not my car I'm not the one who broke it I told you a bazillion times what to do and what not to do in order to not blow your car up god fucking Jesus Christ

AND YOU HAVENT EVEN THANKED ME ONCE

motherfuckers will absolutely beat on their car and then get annoyed when their car breaks. like no shit. You're using a boxer engine to deliver domino's pizza no fuckin shit your car is breaking. I've said it before and I'll say it again if you're not going to respect your vehicle, don't be expecting your vehicle to be reliable. Especially if you're doing all the things that are bad for a boxer engine. It's literally shocked pikachu face that you blew your PVE and coolant hoses. I told you this when you bought the fucking car. Minimize your deliveries if you want to keep this car. You need a different job. You need a job that isn't costing you your personal vehicle. you need a job that isn't my job to fix and make possible. It's not my fucking fault if you can't maintain a vehicle.

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motherfuckers will absolutely beat on their car and then get annoyed when their car breaks. like no shit. You're using a boxer engine to deliver domino's pizza no fuckin shit your car is breaking. I've said it before and I'll say it again if you're not going to respect your vehicle, don't be expecting your vehicle to be reliable. Especially if you're doing all the things that are bad for a boxer engine. It's literally shocked pikachu face that you blew your PVE and coolant hoses. I told you this when you bought the fucking car. Minimize your deliveries if you want to keep this car. You need a different job. You need a job that isn't costing you your personal vehicle. you need a job that isn't my job to fix and make possible. It's not my fucking fault if you can't maintain a vehicle.

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mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

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the mental health office lady doing my assessment stopped what she was typing to say "oh god, that's awful" and then went back to furiously typing and anyway yeah they gave me their earliest next appointment

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Me when the story that obviously isn’t going to have a happy ending doesn’t have a happy ending

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Cuz they're all like Good already/still some of them did DCI or some other spinning sport and I haven't touched a flag in years nor did I learn any of the dance moves in high school and I feel bad making someone lose practice time to teach me the basics when I should've just done the workshop in late winter

Okay I did it I'm following my teenage dream I'm joining the gay flag team I paid the dues it's actually happening like full commitment twice a week every day for the rest of the marching season

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new update I forgot I'm just like really fucking horribly BAD a color guard so I'm tryna decide if the self esteem hit is going to be worth the physical exercise

Okay I did it I'm following my teenage dream I'm joining the gay flag team I paid the dues it's actually happening like full commitment twice a week every day for the rest of the marching season

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Okay I did it I'm following my teenage dream I'm joining the gay flag team I paid the dues it's actually happening like full commitment twice a week every day for the rest of the marching season

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Also okay this is semi related because aforementioned lesbians are (or at least was) also involved in the derby scene so I can attach it to this post specifically but anyway my girlfriend is joining the fuckin pro derby league again on their old team (who are currently the reigning champs and for good reason) and I'm so over the moon excited and happy for them I wanna tell fucking everybody I meet im so insanely excited to watch their jams and be the loudest mf in the stands I didn't realize how much I really enjoyed being the varsity team MVP's girlfriend I feel like how Taylor felt parading Travis around in 2023/24 I'm like guys look at this amazing athlete they're gonna literally pummel the competition and then come give me a kiss because they love me too yall should be jealous

Also little life update I'm tryna join a local color guard/dance team idk if it'll happen but I think I'd really enjoy it and I have a fever dream of being able to perform a halftime show at one of my gfs jams

When I was dog sitting for my ex's aunts, I would always sit and look around their apartment longing for the day I get to have a very gay home with my very gay wife and like only what? 4 years later? I'm basically living that life

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When I was dog sitting for my ex's aunts, I would always sit and look around their apartment longing for the day I get to have a very gay home with my very gay wife and like only what? 4 years later? I'm basically living that life

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if i was a celebrity i would want people to speculate on my sexuality and disorders because maybe it would help me out

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it's a beautiful evening to microwave silverware

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Hey universe, not that I don't trust you, but I still think it would be super cool if I could go back to the job I had during the pandemic.... ideally maybe? Around the end of the month? I know that's asking for a lot in a short time... if not there, then perhaps the store across the street from me? Again, i trust, so if you got something else good cooking then okay, i can wait a little more.

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Whatever *sticks my dick in the gap between who you are and who you portray yourself as*

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why is being alive so expensive. i’m not even having a good time

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sick of these job applications man

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Its just like

Anytime something traumatic happens in my life, I'm not allowed to let it affect me because ofc nobody wants to hear about shitty stuff. So I have to keep stewing and end up spiraling. And then when I'm like "oh yeah shit that traumatic thing happened to me and I never got to process it and it's affecting me" people are like "damn too bad suck it up I don't wanna hear you bitching"

When first of all, I'm not bitching, second of all, this shit plays on repeat in my fucking head all fucking day like an intrusive thought I cannot shake, excuse me for using that same brain to try to at least appear fully functional.

And like obviously yes I need to talk to a professional prolly someone that specializes in this shit however I have no insurance (health or auto so I can't even legally drive), $30, no job, i don't even have WiFi, getting a professional is just simply out of the cards right now. Best I can do is use what skills I already possess knowing it's insufficient but that some level of coping is better than nothing. I am coping as best I can with what I have. I know it is insufficient, there are plans to get it sorted out professionally but it's going to take some time.

And yes I do write shit down in notes apps and journals but because it's literally just my own brain all it does is spiral on and on and on forever just like it has been since I was 6, just like it has been since I was 11, just like it has been since I was 17, 18, 19, and 20. I can bottle it up and seal the boxes and hide it in the back of the closet but it's still fucking radioactive and infecting every corner of my brain.

Like I'm not saying people have to listen to everything I need to say. I'm not saying people don't have the right to censor the topics they're exposed to in the real world. But don't be getting mad at me because I have to carry trauma that is often too heavy to hold.