badrpmemes - Tumblr blog

[badrpmemes]

Would I Lie To You? Sentence Starters

Sentence starters from various episodes of the UK panel show, Would I Lie To You? Feel free to change details as needed.

As usual, the issue of transubstantiation has come up.

Of course it’s a lie, you pillock!

I once set fire to my house with a box of fireworks.

I think he thinks he’s telling the truth.

Friction’s very much a part of this equation.

Oh, ____, it’s so good to have you here!

One of them’s called something, and the other one, likewise, is named as well.

Don’t stand up next to me, it just highlights it.

It’s not playing out very well in the playground of my imagination.

We’ve gone too far this time, mate.

This is genuinely one of the lowest moments of my life, by the way.

Okay, you’re gonna have to explain what that word means.

I know his dad. He’s his son.

I said, ‘got out of hand.’ I do not use those words lightly.

He has no respect for anyone’s privacy and will cross any boundaries available to him.

I hate him with all my heart.

That’s, I would say, a disproportionate response.

Anyone who can enjoy that joke would have to be a sociopath.

Every time people laugh at me I suspect they’re my enemy.

Now the funny story begins.

I feel sick with confusion.

I've been very, very angry for very many years.

He couldn’t have made that up. It’s true.

I won’t tell you the rest of this story if you’re gonna mock me.

Is this a musical?

So, a mixture of good will and blackmail?

You never ask questions with these sort of things.

It’s all been a bit of a lot of talking.

You’ve got an unstable mind.

This is the bit that you’re gonna find crazy.

And this, ____, is the key to your heart.

This is the bit that’s not funny, and I don’t want any jokes.

What part of that are you telling me isn’t true?

I appreciate you’re angry.

Well, I hope that’s the last question of the evening.

At the time, I looked like I overreacted.

Are you just saying any words that come into your head, in any order?

Can I first of all say my memories of this are a bit sketchy?

I can remember the feeling.

For the past fifteen years, I have performed my own dentistry.

I know that’s rude, but I can’t quite think about why.

I forgot about that detail.

What you’re asking for would require surgery.

Well, I don’t mind showing you.

I need counseling.

I will go with the majority. Then I’ve got someone to blame.

I will say, to me you’ve never seemed more human.

We’re in new territory. This has never happened before.

Do you mean ‘no?’

You took the words out of my self-parodic mouth!

I don’t ever remember you being implicated in this.

I love the story, I’d like to buy the rights.

I can drink a pint in six seconds.

Is that your view of opulence?

Do you always sleep naked?

This is a horrible, stupid game!

[badrpmemes]

Crooked House Sentence Starters

Sentence starters from Gilles Paquet-Brenner’s 2017 adaptation of Agatha Christie’s 1949 novel, Crooked House. Feel free to change details as needed.

I'm sorry to surprise you like this, but I wasn't sure you'd agree to see me.

It's a family business.

For a fee, of course.

You should at least think about it.

A hard act to follow.

All right. Two days. Then I call in the hounds.

Though I do find a shotgun best expresses my feelings.

____ likes to think he rescued me.

We had a special bond.

Well, you said you were frightened.

We're a very odd family.

There's lots of ruthlessness in us, and different kinds of ruthlessness.

So you find out people's secrets?

I am by far the cleverest person in this house.

Much too frivolous for the occasion.

I drank far too much claret last night.

Hair of the dog, darling.

I must admit I am more of a cinema enthusiast.

You are twisting my words.

Can you make an effort now, please? For me?

Of course, the odds are against you.

I lost a poker game to the wrong people.

Besides, who actually wants to work for a living?

You don't seem remotely sad about it.

Can't I play detective too?

You don't smell of alcohol. Is ____ still asleep?

Good boy. Keeping a clear head.

Do feel free to come and go as you please.

I'm sorry, the door was open.

I know all there is to know about poisons.

I don't suppose you ever bring your work home with you, now?

Who told you it works?

If you're not careful, you may find yourself facing an accusation of slander.

How can you defame a murderess?

Perhaps we could continue this at a later date?

Being the favorite child isn't all jam.

Please. I like to keep busy.

Why, you're not what I expected at all.

Please, don't think that crying is my natural state.

I dreamed of someone nice, who would make a fuss over me.

I have a delicate question for you.

But rumor has it that you two get along well.

What do these people know about the real world anyway?

Are you done with your interrogation?

You're lucky you're able to talk to them.

You're making this up, aren't you?

People don't pay attention to me in this house.

It is a hothouse of suppressed passion.

Will you shut up and light my bloody cigarette?

I hope I can rely on your absolute discretion here.

You're an extremely intrusive person, ____.

This sort of money would solve most people's problems.

All I ever did was let him down.

Don't creep up on people like that.

People who eavesdrop seldom hear good of themselves.

Buddy, you're being followed.

I believe we have a mutual friend.

He's right, you are a clown.

There's politics involved here. It's sensitive.

Now, give me something, so I can still have faith in you.

If anything, you're Watson.

Well, why don't you enlighten me, Holmes?

I often make things up. It stops me from getting too bored.

Sometimes people don't know what they know.

Not everything they say on television is true.

I'd say we're due another murder.

You really seem to make a habit of barging in, don't you?

I'm not sure the world needs to know about that.

My car seems to have broken down.

Would you like me to take you home?

I've just invited ____ to stay the night.

Now that's a much more interesting idea.

Please don't make me miss all the fun.

Your presence seems to have brought everyone together.

I'm sure he thinks of all of us as potential murderers.

I don't envy you your job.

You see now why I didn't want you involved with my family?

There's nothing like a real heart-to-heart.

You're just like the rest. Take her to bed and be done with it.

Oh, what a high moral tone you're taking.

I have to give it to her. She's got a special gift for dividing people.

You've been in the wars.

They could kill you in an instant if they really wanted to.

My poor cherub.

It's one hell of a burden on your shoulders.

You are an extremely clever woman.

I have seen what it takes to operate at a certain level, and it is not always pretty.

You old hypocrite!

You redeemed yourself at the last moment.

Always leave a party at its height...when you're most enjoying it.

Perhaps she wasn't the intended target.

Nobody gets to leave here without my express permission.

Every time we make you disappear, you keep popping back up.

Is there anyone you're remotely fond of?

Oh, my darling. I love you more than you'll ever know.

I think they'll have everything we could possibly want once we get there.

I certainly had a good reason to do it, though.

Today, I have to be very brave.

But every task worth doing has a hard bit.

What did we do to her?

No, no, it's okay. It wasn't you.

[badrpmemes]

Taskmaster Series 7 Starters (part 2)

Sentence starters from series 7 of the UK television show, Taskmaster. Feel free to change details as needed.

It's going to be one hell of a night.

You think we're friends, do you?

That was a wind up. Get used to them.

I thought you might run!

Can I break this?

That's the look I've been trying to perfect for years.

What's so worrying is I was so proud of that when I made it.

I've been very kind to you, I think I've been very generous.

You ever heard of manners?

I feel tricked.

That is a goddamn miracle that I did that.

Why didn't I think of that earlier?

One of the most disappointing five minutes of my life, I would say.

I'm glad that there was method to your madness.

These things can happen to you under pressure.

I don't like that new catchphrase.

I'm irritated already.

I don't have a problem with that. It delights me.

Why did I even try that?

And what happened was, I'm not exaggerating, a waking nightmare.

Tricky, but not as tricky as ____ made it look.

Oh, that's a stupid idea.

Victory at all costs, is it?

Well, this is fucking agony.

I've got my eyes firmly open, don't you worry about that.

Genuinely horrifying to watch.

That's the most impressed I've ever been with you.

I guess that was always going to happen.

I don't know how you've been friends with him for so long.

I want to set fire to it.

I think that's the nicest you've ever been to me.

You've got to want it, haven't you?

We both thought one of us might win.

I feel fine, and I think it was worth it?

Please tell me you fell off.

Well...that was eventful.

That actually made me feel dirty.

This is going to be unexpected!

I'm worried about you.

Detail is my middle name and my closest friend.

Some classical music would be nice.

Certainly sounds impressive in isolation.

Played into my hands here, mate. Fuck you.

I don't think I'm adding anything with this.

You know, it was vaguely engaging.

You've got to look over your shoulder your whole life.

That's a metaphor for what?

No, please, all I ever wanted was for the people to dance.

It lasted three times as long as it should have.

Anybody want some stew?

Would you like your gift?

There better be a hell of a punch line to this story.

That can fuck off for a start.

That's not a fluke, that's brains, mate!

I've been practising so much!

You're not angry about that, are you?

I feel like I've been popping pills.

This is demeaning.

I've never been accused of bias before.

Give me eight weeks of my life back, how does that sound?

This has taken a very nasty turn.

Don't pity him! You don't know.

Another agonising decision for me.

I know the work of a master craftsman when I see one.

Yeah, I’m not a fucking idiot.

It might not happen today.

Now we play the waiting game.

I’m gonna level with you: I found that quite upsetting.

I’m way out of my depth here.

I don’t wanna mess this up, because it’s a dream come true.

You, sir, are shit.

This is chaos, now.

If there’s no winning there’s no point.

You wound me up, to be honest.

How did I not see that coming?

I was pretty furious, but I was thinking, “oh, this’ll be good.”

How can I make this harder for you?

Don’t patronise me.

I would love to hate that.

Lovely technique.

Sneaky little fucker, aren’t you?

[badrpmemes]

Taskmaster Series 7 Starters (part 1)

Sentence starters from series 7 of the UK television show, Taskmaster. Feel free to change details as needed.

You don't have any pets, yet. Yet.

I think I'm having an existential crisis.

But that's the joy of it, it's pointless.

I'll tell you now, it's the best one yet.

Velcro is going to be a key player.

Let me think, can I have a few minutes to think?

Can you, like, give it some theatre, ____?

We are off to an absolute cracking start.

I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.

I don't know what to say other than it was absolutely perfect.

There's just no sense of urgency whatsoever.

Oh. Balls.

I can smell controversy over this.

Oh, dear. That's what comes of being an absolute tosser.

You having a nice laugh, are you?

Hey, listen, we've got to isolate the weak ones.

I know it's early days, but are we the stupidest so far?

It is such a bad omen that ____ is the smart one.

I have no doubt you've got a hilarious reason.

That is going to fucking hurt, isn't it?

When you see it now, do you think you might have been ripped off?

I'm desperately trying not to look at your genitals.

I can honestly say, I've never been so happy to put a blindfold on.

I'm livid. That's cheating, isn't it?

I think you've got to think outside the box with these things.

That was a terrible impression, I'm so sorry.

Sounds a bit seedy, doesn't it, that?

I don't see why everyone's looking at me like I'm the weird one, here.

Well, I'm restricted by the limitations of what you've got.

I'm over the moon with that!

How, how, how dare you even speak!

Some people might not want you for the rest of their lives.

You couldn't hold me upside down.

That's one of the only books I've ever read.

They're all quite shit, the prizes, aren't they?

I would quite like to take him home, but that's a private thing.

I knew what I was signing up for.

I have no medical skills.

Well, if I told you it wouldn't be exciting, would it?

It's something I've never realised about you, you're a cold fish.

I think we've learned a lot more about you than we have about me, here.

It didn't look like blind panic, it looked like fairly structured torture!

Well, it was a role reversal, wasn't it?

The answer to that is, I don't know, and I don't fucking know.

I didn't even panic!

You created your own barrier!

People say my ADHD makes me shit at problem solving. No, sir.

That was, loath as I am to admit it, fairly impressive.

You are a very generous audience!

I knew your clothes were coming off, so that was no surprise to me.

There was so much more that was gonna happen.

This is what happens if you believe what happens in films.

You must be a butcher's nightmare.

What did you expect her to do with it? Treasure it?

That's coming back to me at some point, isn't it?

I'm here to win, I'm not here to make friends.

If you get what you asked for, that's the perfect gift, isn't it?

Well, I'll tell you now, that is not going to take some beating.

At the time, I was shitting myself.

I thought that ____ and I would have, like, a rivalry, and then I forgot about that.

That's the way the cookie crumbles, y'all.

I have...a view on the world at the moment, generally, which is not particularly good.

Oh, does it make you happy to make other people sad?

You've brought me down to your level, haven't you?

Death doesn't affect the dead.

I'll be watching you like a fucking hawk.

I mean, I think someone ruined it for everyone, but I don't think it's anyone's fault.

[badrpmemes]

The Fall Sentence Starters

Sentence starters from Tarsem Singh’s 2006 film The Fall. Feel free to change details as needed.

Your note came in, and landed on my lap.

It's written in gibberish or something.

You didn't understand it, it's not for you.

How'd you hurt your arm?

I can see you hiding.

All right, don't break your other arm.

Will you come back tomorrow?

I know how much it hurts.

This is going to take some effort on your part, too, you know that?

Can you see the stars?

I need to learn to swim.

We must conceive a plan!

Goodbye, my beautiful friend!

The tortures of this world have driven the poor man mad.

We are on a dangerous mission.

He will only slow us down.

Undoubtedly, you have a flair for war-mongering.

Were you telling the truth just now?

You little liar.

Do you want me to finish the story?

All right, that's it! It's not a circus.

Are you trying to save my soul?

Are you worried about me?

That which has been taken from me can never be replaced.

I think of all the joys we had.

I could've saved you, but I was weak.

My grief has gone blood-red with revenge.

I'm stronger now.

Hey! You can't eat it, it's poisonous!

I'm having a hard time sleeping.

I need some pills.

I'm asking you as a friend.

Get up. This isn't funny.

Please, let's leave this place.

You know what I do when something frightens me?

Did you get what I sent you for?

Will they help you sleep?

Who, may I ask, are you?

May I be frank with you?

Well, I want you to stay here until you get better.

What happens to the money if I die?

Because I want to stay here with you.

Hey, this came for you today.

I need a favor.

You've captivated my heart, ____.

I've fallen in love with you.

I'm not a man who can be loved.

When I fall asleep, you gotta go.

In fact, you're my savior.

I want to look at you until I die.

I'm glad I never kissed you.

I've never been able to open it.

Death is near.

Don't you recognize me?

Wake up. It's not time to sleep now.

What, am I going delirious from the medication?

To get better, you gotta have the will and your own desire to live.

I heard. Everybody's heard.

I didn't tell anybody about our secret.

There's no happy ending with me.

They're going to find out I'm a fraud!

It's not very satisfying, is it?

A fake, he's a liar and a coward.

Promise? And don't cross your fingers.

It's okay. It's all right. It's over now.

We're a strange pair, aren't we?

[badrpmemes]

The Science of Sleep Sentence Starters

Sentences taken from Michel Gondry’s 2006 film, The Science of Sleep. Feel free to change details as needed.

People think it's a very simple and easy process.

As you can see, a very delicate combination of complex ingredients is the key.

I almost forgot how he looked.

Thanks for the invitation.

No, no. I cried so hard.

I could feel my tears forming two rivers under my eyes.

You'll knock my door down! What do you want?

See? Nothing's changed.

Oh, I can't believe you're back!

You have to choose sides.

It's boring, but easy.

Fuck, an artist! He won't last.

You lied to get me back here.

I won't stay another day!

Excuse me for this interruption.

Look at the mess you've made!

You think I have to go to the hospital?

Yeah, I feel it working already.

He asks you to help and then he lets you do all the work.

Don't make fun of people in my home.

So getting laid is all that matters?

That means you have a large penis.

By the time you get back, I'll be sleeping.

I am just a new liar in your life.

Mistakes shouldn't go unpunished.

What makes you think you can do that?

Start again. You've lost me.

If you can't stop fighting, don't be friends.

____, are you betraying me?

You think you will learn some deep truth about yourself?

Then we'll organize a massive wedding.

Where does your genius end?

So, ____, did you find the key to success?

I don't like to talk about my private life.

I almost thought that I was gonna miss you.

Would you like to marry me?

You don't want to be with me.

You don't have to humiliate me.

"A heart that sighs has not what it desires." Must be love.

Maybe the feeling's not mutual.

I don't understand you either.

Not every man is a sex maniac, you know.

Can you hold my hand?

I finished it. For you.

I'm not sure I should accept this gift.

Why do I deserve a present, anyway?

No, don't play with me. This is never gonna happen.

Why are you trying to give me hope?

I didn't mean one word.

Now, tell me how you did it.

Keep on talking to me for a little while?

The world and myself weren't ready for it.

We've leapt forward into absurdity.

Things will turn out the way you want if you could just stop doubting that I love you.

Not exactly a triumph.

You know, you can't let things bother you all your life.

I'm sorry, I wasn't sure I was awake.

I just want to know if you're okay.

No, I don't wanna be your friend anymore.

I never want to see you again.

I can't just leave you.

I feel stupid now.

Are you still upset with me?

You're not gonna let me in?

You've been crying?

Why do you always have to be a pig?

You have a serious problem of distorting reality.

You could sleep with the entire planet and still feel rejected.

I thought you were never gonna finish it.

You're gonna miss your plane.

Why do you do this to me?

Maybe touch my hair or something?

[badrpmemes]

The Death of Stalin Sentence Starters

Starters from Armando Iannucci’s 2017 film The Death of Stalin. Feel free to change details as needed.

Don't worry, nobody's gonna get killed, I promise you.

Top me up. Everybody drinks.

You, Joan of Arc, you want to get killed?

What fucking brainless fire-safety fucking idiot put that there?

Now, you say whatever you have to say to them. You say it.

I'm exhausted. I can't remember who's alive and who isn't.

Goodbye, ___, old friend. Goodbye forever.

It would be simpler and cheaper if they just drove straight into a river.

I don't think any of these people have ever heard of Mozart.

I wish to convey a special message from my heart.

No. This is unauthorised narcissism!

The item is now in my possession...after a significant delay.

What took you so long? You fucking walk here?

Should you shut the fuck up before you get us both killed?

This is your drunken nonsense, not mine.

Good. I was testing you. Get used to that sort of challenge.

This is calamity! Calamity!

Are you wearing pyjamas?

I didn't stop to put on cologne.

You're not auditioning for the Bolshoi.

Can we just stop twittering like fishwives at the market and concentrate?

I've never met them before in my life.

___ will be lying face down in a ditch full of vodka.

He's terrified, practically leaving a trail of yellow ice!

Play better, you clattering fannies!

Give me a drink. I've got time for a drink. Give me the flask.

Are they going to sing for us? Why are they standing in a line?

Courage, little bird. We're here for you.

Ladies and gentlemen, reset your watches.

I'm going to have you to look after me.

I wasn't afraid. Now I am afraid.

You're very quiet.

I would like… that one destroyed, thank you.

Yes, I should have intercepted his fist with my face.

You're just making this shit up as you go along.

I hate being sober. It’s a terrible, terrible mood to be in.

Can I keep this?

You’re just like my father.

Well, someone's grown balls the size of Kremlin domes.

When this is over, go home and drink vodka until you pass out. I never want to see you sober again.

What’s between your ears? Sausage?

I've had nightmares that make more sense than this.

We have to act today.

Do you know who I am? Do you know who you are? Who the fuck are you?

If we could discuss this rationally...

What do you think is happening here?

We are not savages!

Your… story may not fit.

Now we can turn the corner. Put the bloodshed behind us.

I worry about ____ though. Can we trust him?