baebaradunkelman

[baebaradunkelman]

y’all: here’s some alternatives to tumblr in case the site get merked on dec 17th

me:

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and

get julius caesar addicted to hentai

seduce cleopatra

“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times. 

so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body 

then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come. 

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

Everyone’s like “those Germans have a word for everything” but English has a word for tricking someone into watching the music video for Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up.

[baebaradunkelman]

no song will ever be as good as the chain by fleetwood mac ……….. like ………… yes bitch ………. break the silence …………. damn the dark ………… damn your lies ……………

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

[baebaradunkelman]

Honestly, me too.

[baebaradunkelman]

fred likes to say tréasure

[baebaradunkelman]

i lov goofy boys thats so my type

[baebaradunkelman]

the plot chickens