bagelsenjoyer14 - Tumblr blog

[bagelsenjoyer14]

Gonna tell my kids this was Aziraphale and Crowley

image credit: @olympain

[bagelsenjoyer14]

So when season two came out I promised I was going to dive into it and then I proceeded disappear but I'm back. Also I've been at school and work all day so sorry if some things dont make sense, or if theres any grammatical errors.

I know I talk about Crowley alot on here, but Azi has been on my mind lately, especially regarding his religious trauma. I mean this is one of the main plot points of season two (and a little bit in season one) Azi's main problem is that he still thinks in the very black and white, kind of old fashioned way of thinking that heaven is good, and hell is bad. We see this very very often in the show whether hes saying things like this to Crowley, for example:

(And in season two when he says something along the lines of "and you are evil, I'm afraid")

It seems something that Azi battles with for a long time, from when Azi freaks out when angel Crowley even CONSIDERS questioning God, he doesn't know what to say and goes in full panic. And these little remarks through the series shows what he still (tries) to believe. But I think he really begins to question during Job not only that he must be, by default, a bad angel for lying, yet he hasn't fallen, when someone like Crowley didn't do anything as severe and yet he fell?

But the problem Azi has is he cannot let this ideaology go. I mean we see him TRY to in season one and season two, he fundementally thinks Crowley is a good person, and he knows deep down the things heaven is doing is horrible. But Azi is too forgiving (we see this with Gabriel) and too optimistic in what heaven COULD be/ what God COULD be planning.

And this dynamic between him and Crowley is really interesting, it kind of shows the two spectrums of what religious trauma can do. Crowley, for example, has accepted early on that God has abandoned him, and he has learned the hard way that neither side is good and is instead better off fending for himself. We do see in his desperate moments him pleading to God, but time and time again he is ignored, which creates this weird relationship with Azi where for 6000 years he kept this weird distance between them in fear of abandonment again. While Azi on the other hand, does not know what it's like to fall, he deeply loves God and thinks She will always be good, but he is shown through other angels horrible things, and it's confusing (why would she create horrible angels, why would she cause disease and death if she was so good?) We see him get panicky once again when Crowley brings up the question in episode three as to why did God create poverty and expect those in horrible circumstances to turn out as good as those born in castles? And Azi kind of tries not to think too much about the point Crowley is making. I think Azi HAS silently questioned Her since Bliblical times, but has pushed it down, that's how his best friend fell, and the last thing Azi wants is God to abandon him.

Finally, I also want to touch on Azi's desperate need to be good and seen as good by others. I think this stems from him being seen as a "lesser" angel, being sent to Earth as more of a sort of punishment, being looked down on because of it. The one major thing him and Crowley have in common is not fitting in, anywhere. So I think all of this causes him to ache for validation that what he's doing is right. He says in season two that since he isn't reporting to Heaven, he calls Crowley to tell him about the good things he's done. We also see during the Job part where he lies to Gabriel, that he thinks he's a bad angel and once again I feel like this causes him to feel like he must over compensate and take the pain and sadness put on to the world for the better of everyone else.

Mitskis song "I Don't Smoke" always reminds me of Aziraphale becuase of the line "if you need to be mean/be mean to me/ I can take it/and put it inside of me" because time and time again Azi goes and does things to benefit others, and not himself. He puts himself on the front lines for people who have hurt him. Gabriel is a good example of this, this guy has tried to kill him! And yet he helps him. Crowley is obviously fraustrated by this, but Crowley doesn't understand exactly WHY Azi is like this, they have dealt with their trauma differently. So of course when the metatron offered him a position in heaven he took it. Not only did it help him feel validated and finally 'good enough' but also he once again jumped in front of a bullet heading directly to the world, and Crowley. He belives he is doing good by going to heaven. Even if it hurts him, he NEEDS to feel like he is helping others, and he believes that if God technically has appointed him to such a power to make sure nothing bad happens, then in his mind she must be good then.

[bagelsenjoyer14]

So so accurate

Good Omens 2 was like reading a 100k fanfic in the middle of the night that you realize was left unfinished and last updated 5 years ago, and you are left alone with this earth-shattering cliffhanger

[bagelsenjoyer14]

I find it so funny that back in 2019 when good omens first came out there were people who shipped Gabriel and Beelzebub from DAY FUCKING ONE and everyone else was like “…they’ve had like one interaction…no way what is wrong with you” and bam here we fucking are they’ve ran off together like that one Taylor Swift song or whatever

[bagelsenjoyer14]

GOOD OMENS S02 + TUMBLR REACTIONS

[bagelsenjoyer14]

I love how there’s so many demons in hell who absolute despise Crowley and is actively trying to bring his downfall meanwhile he’s just being a silly little guy, watering plants and shit

[bagelsenjoyer14]

Here’s a complete list of all my metas/analysis (if you can call them that)

 I will of course be adding more once I’m able to sit down, gather my thoughts, and actually start typing.

  Good Omens

   Why did Aziraphale say “You go too fast for me?”

    Why did Crowley ask for holy water, actually? And why did Azi react like that

         The Beatles

      Paul’s innate optimism (and what it means for the band)

[bagelsenjoyer14]

  One thing I think is very very important to talk about to really understand The Beatles and their thoughts on one another and the band throughout its lifespan (and obviously important in understanding Paul McCartney) is Paul’s innate optimism throughout his whole life. I think it’s both a blessing and really a curse for him and the band (much like his perfectionism) and gives more insight into the band's inner workings, but also Paul’s thought processes throughout The Beatles and Wings (especially the times when he wasn’t very happy and optimistic). 

    I mean bro has been through some crazy shit and in interviews or past relays of his reaction to things he always seems to put things back down or act like something wasn’t a big deal (His reaction to John Lennon's death comes to mind) but also his almost instant sense of finding the light in dark situations.

   I believe there’s a quote from him where he says something similar to “I am the eternal optimist, no matter how rough it gets, there is a light somewhere”

   And I think there is very rarely (if not at all) a Paul McCartney song that is just fully depressing, he always seems to end his songs in some sanguine way. I mean even Hear Today, a song about him grieving his best friend, is somehow somewhat joyful because he’s reminiscing on their relationship through the years and he’s coming to terms with the fact that he really loved him. And I think another incredible example of this is the song “Getting Better” because throughout it you’re seeing a mix of Paul’s optimism and John’s Pessimism back to back.

    But I think his optimism plays a very key role in the Beatles and how they ended. I mean at one point he was practically holding the band together because he desperately wanted to believe that they could all work things out and continue to be friends and a band. I think understanding his sort of ‘go-lucky’ character really shows just how upsetting the end of the band was for him, that he fell into such a depressive episode and for once saw no real light at the end of the tunnel for a while, and Linda had to kind of be the one to help him out.

    I also think, that if we dig a little deeper, we begin to wonder if he really is so optimistic all the time or in some ways his reaction is the “spokes men” and charismatic Paul facade that he loves to put on (and very rarley takes off)

[bagelsenjoyer14]

I’m personally a victim of a hate crime

'"My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” Elizabeth’s astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent.'

[bagelsenjoyer14]

Okay so I’ve been listening to Crowleys playlist again after I watched season 2 and The Police’s Every Breath You Take keeps circling my head. Like I know it’s a high key creepy song but I feel like it fully encapsulates Crowleys acute loneliness and longing through the years as he watches Azi from a safe, guarded distance. And his sort of sadness at his acceptance that Azi does not love him like that.

I also find it fitting for season two finale, where he finally came out of his safe corner and expressed his feeling whole heartedly, only soul crushingly to be, really, betrayed. And now he can’t even watch his angel from a distance now, as he’s in a whole different world Crowley has no access to, and the very world that shunned him his whole life.

[bagelsenjoyer14]

It feels like Neil Gaiman came up and sucker punched me himself

[bagelsenjoyer14]

[bagelsenjoyer14]

“But then Crowleys still an angel at this point”

[bagelsenjoyer14]

WE’RE WHAT

(SPOILER) So apparently we are getting pre-fall Crowley???????  How am I supposed to function for 10 more days after learning that????????

[bagelsenjoyer14]

You mention that aziraphale gives crowley a tartan thermos and and gives him reasons to live in the 1967 scene for fear the crowley might off himself but then why would he say "you go to fast for me" knowing it would hurt crowley and potentially damage their relationship?

Okay so first off thanks for the ask anon! I had to read this several to think about how I would go about explaining (theorizing?) this. This might be a long one so buckle up everybody! (we wil also be discussing season 2 so if you don't want to read potential theories/spoilers, then please dont read)

First I feel we need to try to understand what Aziraphale meant when he said the infamous line:

When I first read the book, I didn't quite understand what Azi meant by this, and when I first watched the show in 2020 I didn't understand why he decided to talk about their relationship at that moment. It only took me a couple more rewatches and understanding of their characters to realize it's about their relationship but it isn't.

I feel like to uderstand this we need to look at both their characters: Crowley likes to move fast, not only while driving (which Aziraphale is pretending to discus here) but in his day to day life and decisions. We see this time and time again throughout their 6,000 years. Crowley changes his hair and his clothes all the time, he's with the times of humanity and adapts to their new ways and technology that we see no other celestial character can quite acomplish like him. And I think fundementally that boils down to the fact that Crowley gets bored! He gets bored of a hairstyle or style and so he just gets a new one, he gets tired of things and goes and creates mischief. I also think both his innate curiosity and boredom is part of the reason for his fall (he got bored and curious and started hanging out with the wrong people.) I've also noticed unlike Aziraphale who likes "calming" hobbies (which I'll touch on in a bit) Crowley doesnt. He doesn't sit and savor food, he usually only consumes liquids, which can usually be consumed quickly. The only slow hobby he does is sleep, but it seems he's very black and white about it; either sleeping for several years in a row or seemingly not sleeping or sleeping very little.

Aziraphale on the other hand is very old fashioned and likes to take things slow and 'smell the flowers'. He has had the same haircut SINCE THE BEGINNING OF LITERAL TIME! And rarley changes his outfits. He isn't very intune with humanities inventions and latest discoveries. And his hobbies consist of him sitting and enjoying his food bite by bite or sitting down to read a book. I also think Aziraphale is somewhat old fashioned in his thinking. In season one, one of his biggest faults was that he stil inherently wanted to belive that Heaven was fundementally good. We see this show in some of his conversations/arguements with Crowley in the early days where he puts what crowley does down to him just being a demon, and in the argument scene Azi stil cant get over the fact that they are angel and demon.

So what am I getting at? I'm trying to say that I think Azi has realzied their differences, and more specifically, he has figured out how easily Crowley gets bored, and I think at sometime between the 1940s church bombing and the 1967 scene, that he has started to worry that Crowley will eventually get bored of him, or more specifcally, if he was to want and try for a non platonic relationsip with Crowley, that he would get tired of it and move on to something else, leaving Azi who doesn't like change, absoloutely crushed. And I think the reason he's alluding to it when he's handing Crowley the holy water is because he's afraid Crowley has finally grew bored of life itself, and that's the reason he's asking for the holy water.

I also want to point out that the new 1940's scene could change this depending on what happens after the church bombing, but unless one of them tries to make a move (specifically Crowley) I don't understand why Azi would say Crowley is going to fast with their relationship in any other way ONLY.

I also don't think Azi was trying to hurt Crowley, I think it was just weighing heavily on his mind, and when Crowley offered him a ride, he just couldn't really hold the thought in any longer? You know what I mean? It has had at least 20 odd years to marinate in his mind.

Finally, I want to touch on Neil's "Aziraphale has started picking up the pace" line, and I believe this is refering to him coming to the realization that neither side is good, and what side their on should not limit them and their relatioship (like Crowley has discovered for ages now) and is starting to get bored of the way they've been treated and had to keep their friendship secret. Thus his sudden "I thought we carved this out for ourselves"

I hope this wasn't too long, and helped you understand in some way what I was trying to say!

[bagelsenjoyer14]

   One thing I still find incredibly interesting is the whole holy water debacle and, more specifically, Azi’s “I’m not giving you a suicide pill”

    One thing that still gets me is this line said by Aziraphale; I can’t stop wondering what caused him to jump to such a conclusion. I mean this is going to be a weird analogy, but if your friend said they were going to buy a knife for protection, you wouldn't immediately conclude that they would stab themselves with it. And Aziraphale is ADAMENT about it! His facial expression here always gets me, he looks so worried and devastated. This scene causes a big argument between them, and 100 years later, when Aziraphale finally gives in to giving him the holy water (because he knows it’s the safest option) he gives Crowley reasons to live when he hands him a Tartan thermos (in hopes if he does something stupid, he’ll be remembered of Aziraphale and stop)

    But I wonder WHY he came to such a conclusion? And I wonder if in episode three of season two maybe we’ll see why (as we know Neil has mentioned two suicide attempts in it, and it’s another mini-episode about them in the biblical time) and this is going to be about the story of Job, which is already a pretty angsty story. 

  This is also a half-baked thought but I find it interesting that in the picture of a scene in episode three, there’s a shadow over Crowley that is similar to Aziraphale protecting Crowley from the rain in Eden, I almost wonder if it alludes to Azi once again protecting Crowley from something (but perhaps emotionally this time?)

      And, just to bring this up, we really don’t know why Crowley wanted holy water! He tells Azi it’s for protection, but that could just be what Crowley is telling him. I find it odd that it seems Crowley really wants it, then he kind of mellows out before wanting it badly again. 

   But if he wants it for protection, I think that’s equally devastating, because I mean what happened to him in the 1800′s (and later in the 60′s) to cause him to desperately want protection from his own kind? 

   As he said “his lot doesn’t send rude notes”

[bagelsenjoyer14]

We all love to hate on Crowley for his looks but I feel like we’ve all pulled a Gabriel Jim and forgot this absolute travesty, like all I’m saying is Crowley must love him an awful lot to not abandon all contact with him after he pulled up looking like this