my goal in life is to be as cool as nick from jimmy neutron Â
175K notes
·
View notes
it’s really frustrating how you have to wait like, 2 weeks before you can drink milk after you buy it. i know you gotta wait for the date on the bottle but like why cant the store just sell the milk thats ready?
219K notes
·
View notes
I love being in love and financially stable its so wavy
119K notes
·
View notes
me: look at this really cool thing i love a lot and am really invested in!!!!
friend: cool
me: if you wanted me dead why didn't you say so earlier
172K notes
·
View notes
1M notes
·
View notes
start holding your boyfriends to best friend standards pls
“my boyfriend was annoyed that I didn’t shave for days” vs “my best friend was annoyed that I didn’t shave for days”
“my boyfriend doesn’t like my haircut so I’m growing it out again” vs “my best friend doesn’t like my haircut so I’m growing it out again”
“my boyfriend hates when I wear makeup so I guess I have to stop” vs “my best friend hates when I wear makeup so I guess I have to stop”
if your boyfriend would leave you for something that your best friend wouldn’t care about, KILL THEM AND EAT THEM
257K notes
·
View notes
me: *taking a test*
my brain: Capri Sun
me: please, focus, I’m literally begging y-
my brain: respect the pouch! respect it! respect the pouch! respect it! respect the pouch! respect it! respect the pouch! respect it! respect the pouch! respect it! respect the pouch! respect it! respect the pouch! respect it! respect th
122K notes
·
View notes
i was catfished once….
101K notes
·
View notes
The shining is barely even a horror movie men just be like that
181K notes
·
View notes
170K notes
·
View notes
324K notes
·
View notes