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It werfers Flammen

-ZF Cyanide

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if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know

a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going

wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that

they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not

a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting

a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed

if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now

young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it

letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day

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@swarnpert

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What the everloving fuck just happened

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

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ITS MARCH BOYS

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It does say “you”

Dad, mom, unspecified other, based on you

You’re an old tough hero with scars and a deadly scowl. Supervillains usually just give up when they hear you’re being brought in to deal with them, and you get paid big by the government for doing so. If ever a supervillain can defeat you, they’re going to be paid a fortune not to attack the country. A new villain just stepped up to take you on. It’s your 16 year old daughter and you just told her she has to pay for her own car.

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“Why don’t you try just focusing”

Why don’t you try just breathing?

Hmm? I’m chocking you, MUST HAVE FORGOT

love that adhd feel when “and there goes my ability to read”

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My understanding of D&D is that the GM has the power to make the next quest a heist, but the players control whether the background music for this heist will be the Pink Panther theme, the Mission Impossible theme, or the Benny Hill theme.

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You little shit is appropriate

I’m right and I should say it

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Those are the eyes of a fucking legend

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You bastard! They’re TRYING!

why do little kids always tantrum scream like they’re reenacting jurassic park

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I want a radius

my bones!! feel free to look but please don’t steal my bones!!

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I need one

Me: I want to draw something breathtaking

My brain, in its infinite wisdom: Ferret, but longer

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I just double saved

Don’t call me out like this

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That’s unbearably true

humans don’t have enough ornamentation. where’s the plumage, the antlers