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sosafewatertechnologies
So Safe Water Technologies
drainempire
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yahoogames-logres
劍與魔法王國
monsterfunlove
Monster Fun
abbywannaonevixx
💞 AbbyVIXXWannaOne 💞
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tfw you finally FINALLY have time and energy to take care of yourself, and then u get interrupted by bunches of emails
#tmi /////#nsfw /////#thanks square enix#u had 2 drop a title 2nite#was unprofessional and told them i was 'sleepy'
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i was mourning my brokeness and how i cant afford the harnesses i want to try with my dick but then i realised i could make a rope one.......
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ive been out of my mind pent up all week and now i cant do anything about it ghghh
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been talking to couples on the hookup app and dithering
when i do it i feel so good, getting to be someones special holiday memory and getting all that intense attention of a while. get to be so slutty and disgusting because thats what they need from me. then getting to escape no strings attached. and you know its no strings attached bc they already have someone and they wanted someone ‘discreet’ which is code for ‘wont bother us again after’
but then, theres that moment on the train home at 1am when i feel sore and sticky under my clothes and tired and think about the two of them back at the hotel/air bnb and how they get to cuddle and talk about it and sleep, and ive got the whole trip still to go back to my tiny apartment where i will wash up alone and get into my cold bed, ok im taking the most melodramatic roundabout way to say its lonely
the moment doesnt generally taint the experience but when im hovering over the message on the app it does float to mind
theres also the worry that all these attractive power couple looking folks are disappointed when they meet me at the bar. i put on my profile that im chubby, what if theyre hoping im lying lol. but then-- never have to see them again. and yay for me, i have bat out of my league my entire life. just keep fakin it i guess
but also: i am so glad i can do this now. i feel like im finally taking control of my sexuality for the first time in a long time. and of course its gonna be messy and of course im gonna be insecure, but if i dont wanna let what happened control me forever im going to have to keep dealing and pushing forward.
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