banjofiveie - Tumblr blog

[banjofiveie]

Okay but replace the sandwiches with dicks and Joseph is going to TOWN. You know he’s gargling. You know he’s slobbering. Positioned to give himself some good leverage you know this is not his first nor will it be his last time. Slut.

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PLEASE SETTLE A DEBATE.

*It would be from someone else, another human, and it would be on you in at least a semi-direct way, including at least part of your clothes. Pick.

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They’ve been on my mind all day

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its really telling where you learned about lapis lazuli. put yours in the tags

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i think about this tweet literally every single day

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In the mood for someone to piss all over me while they ride my cock

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The results are in: Roadhog is (un)officially the hottest Overwatch character!! Someone tell Blizzard lol

Baptiste takes 2nd place & Ramattra (1st place in the loser’s bracket) takes 3rd!

[banjofiveie]

25 SHOCKING TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TV SHOWS😱

1. POKEMON - ash is in a coma and the show is he's dreaming

2. RUGRATS - the babies are on drugs

3. edd edd eddy - they died in 1962 (tuberculosis)

4. scoopy doo - theyre on drugs too and the dog cant really talk :(

5. rugrats - angela is in a coma and the show is her dream

6. spongbob - songebob is in a coma and the show is his dream

7. spongebob - spongebob and his friends are the christian hell sins

8. spoinegbob - squidward is heroin?

9. COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG - it was real it was all real none of that was a dream or a nightmare everything you remember is real

10. rugarts - angela is on drugs and all the other ones are dead

11. jimmy neutraon - jimmy is weird because he is gay

12. fairly oddparsnts - timmy is in a coma and the show is his dream

13. spongebob - sandy is taxidermy

14. higgly town heroes - higgly town is all cannibals and they eat other people and thats why they do that . how could they do that..? my heroes..

15. max & ruby - they are bunny rabbits and thast because thrre was. an apocalypse and max is a real human little boy but there was an apocalypse and his parents died and he's with ruby but he got hit on the head with a steel pipe because of the apocalypse so now he's in a coma and the show is his dream

16. disney aladdin movie - the tiger head cave is really really scary

17. danny phantom died - this one really happened they tell you in the theme song and you can see it happen in blood and gorey detail if you watch that one scary episode that only comes on at 3am. does anyone else remember that episode

18. dora the explorer - dora is on crack

19. faaiely odd parents - the fairies are drugs and timmy takes drugs and maybe goes into a coma for this reason and maybe has a dream that they're his magic fairies

20. caillou - hes bald. this theoru explains that cailiu has no hair because he is bald. and perhaps his parents are nice to him because he is bald. this could also explain why he has no hair (because hes bald)

21. courage the cowarsly dog - courage is a dog and he's in a coma and

22. the magic schoolbus - its magic because the bus was on drugs and then it blew up (becasue it was high) and they all went to purgatory and clones took their place

23. tom and jerry - tom should have been allowed to cook and eat that baby chick. and its fucked up that the show didnt allow him to. me and my friends watched it and we were all clapping and cheering for him to cook and eat it and we were so excited but of course the writers pussied out and didnt let him do it

24. finding nemo - that thing in the beginning didnt even happen but the dad made that story up so people would feel bad for him

25. sponegbob - in the latest season patrick says "Ok boomer!" to mermaid man and barancle boy

CHILDHOOD = RUINED 😫

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found footage horror film

agitated girl: mike put the camera down

mike: He ha why its a home movey

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mike ehrmantraut from breaking bad/better call saul has the insight only a post-menopausal man could have

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As a Taylor Swift expert, Gaylor hater, and recovering 1989er, you probably don't want to know that apparently in the notes of the re-recording Taylor Swift talks about how she wasn't dating any of her female friends, and the Gaylors are having meltdowns on twitter. Words like "gaslit" and "queerbaiting" are being used.

of COURSE I want to know about that, I need to go log back into my twitter account RIGHT NOW

also goddddd as a certified 1989 enjoyer I'm gonna have to listen to Taylor's Version :/

[banjofiveie]

Michael Strassner on the first episode of Brian Jordan Alvarez’s new show, “30’s”