banshees-and-valkyries
banshees-and-valkyries
Lydia Martin And Nesta Archeron Apologist
3K posts
🔞This Blog is 18+🔞 I obsess over fictional characters, what's new? I also write fics! requests are open! Hi! My name is Luna! I obsess over Teen Wolf and ACOTAR, and I dabble in some Marvel and DC from time to time. I love having things to be obsessed about wether it’s books, shows, movies, comics, music, etc
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."
why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.
a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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nitroglycerine | k.bkg
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SUMMARY: "you wonder if katsuki's using part of his quirk— if this is what his nitroglycerine feels when it activates: warm in his hands, before it explodes."
alternatively, the weird in between of fuck buddies to lovers.
TAGS & WARNINGS: idiots to lovers, implied sex, both of you are bad at feelings
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"do you like me, katsuki?"
katsuki looks good tonight, you think. out in the balcony, bathed in moonlight and the soft glow from the lights of his room. the left side of his hair's bedhead mussed from where he'd slept next to you and he's wearing your hair tie on his wrist, hands nursing the #1 sexiest hero mug you'd gotten him as a gag gift for christmas two years ago that he swore he'd throw away.
he looks good tonight, you think, marked with little pieces of you. he looks like he's yours.
"fuck's that supposed to mean?" he doesn't answer the question, and you bite back a smile at the red tinting his cheeks. you tell yourself it's from the cold.
"c'mon," you nudge him with your shoulder. "do you like me?"
"no, you're annoying."
"oh, fuck you—"
"—again? you're greedy tonight aren't ya."
your cheeks warm. "that's not what i meant and you know it."
his shoulders shrug the slightest, and the teasing smirk he gives you feels far too close to a smile, one that he hides when he takes a sip from his hot chocolate.
"do you like me?" you repeat your question. this time he sighs, like the drama queen he is.
"yes, alright?" katsuki realizes too late that his words are a little too airy, a little too soft to be a snarky reply, so he amends it with "wouldn't let you mark me up if i didn't."
it's then that your eyes drop to the hickeys on his neck, trailing down his bare chest and disappearing into the hem of his sweats. you know you're no better with the finger shaped bruises on your thighs and the bite marks underneath your— his shirt.
you don't know why you like marking each other up so much. maybe it's because you both need to keep your lips preoccupied. katsuki doesn't like kissing, says it's too intimate for a friends with benefits situation. you've slept together, yes, multiple times, but you've never been... intimate, with him.
(that's a lie, your brain supplies. he's held you close late at night, fully clothed and feeling like putty in his arms when you tell him a shitty a joke that has him barking out a laugh, vibrations on his chest reverberating against your cheek; he's taken you out on not-dates, telling you to dress pretty, i'll pick ya up at seven and ended the night not in his bed but on his kitchen counter, with his sleeves rolled up and a cocky grin on his face when your eyes light up after he feeds you a spoonful of the lasagna he's cooking because he decided the restaurant couldn't make good food to save its life. he's the friend you sleep with every now and then, sure... but you haven't been just friends for a while now.)
you hum at his response, and it's followed by a light shake of your head. "i knew you'd say that," you mumble.
"if you knew what i'd say then what was the point of asking?"
you shrug. "wanted to hear it come from you."
he only nods in lieu of a reply, and you silently take the mug when he offers it to you, content when the hot chocolate warms your body before handing it back to him.
it's when he's taking a sip that you decide to ask, "do you love me?" and katsuki nearly spits out his drink. you're laughing and staring at him with amused eyes, and he's trying not to choke with a mutter of what the hell, y/n before he gathers his composure.
then he's tossing your question around his head and he looks at you. really looks at you.
your eyes look pretty tonight, he thinks. bare faced and smelling like his sheets, wearing the first shirt you saw when you opened his closet. he didn't bother telling you it was his favorite, not when you looked at him so sweetly when you asked him if you could borrow it, brain taking one look at you in his clothes and immediately deciding that this version of you is the sexiest and he can't help the way his hands are drawn to your waist, nose nuzzling into the crook of your neck and almost purring when he realizes he can smell his laundry detergent and soap mixed with your scent.
and yeah, your eyes look pretty tonight, he thinks. your eyes look pretty when they're only looking at him.
"no."
"you don't?"
"i don't."
there's a gust of wind that surrounds you, and he pulls you closer when he notices you shiver, mug forgotten on his little table. he's warm— unfairly so— when he brings his arms on either side your body, trapping you between the metal railing and his chest. when you risk a glance at him, red eyes are staring into yours, and your heart just about stops, all the air knocked from your lungs from the way he looks at you.
and then you compose yourself, lips curling into what you hoped was a teasing smile.
"liar."
"m'not lying,"
"you sure?"
"if you knew what i'd say then what was the point of asking?" he repeats his question from earlier. so you shrug, turning away from him and his intense gaze as you murmur, "wanted to hear it come from you."
there's a beat that passes, and katsuki's body is still behind you. you could almost hear the conflict in his head, his internal debate. one side wins over the other, you think, because your heart nearly jump out of your chest when the arms that were once beside your body suddenly find their way around your waist, and he rests his chin on your shoulder with a sigh.
"maybe if you ask properly," he finally responds, his warm hands finding your cold ones. you hope he doesn't notice the way your pulse speeds up at his touch.
"okay," you murmur, suddenly aware of just how close katsuki really is. you'd been close to him before, underneath his sheets. but it was never... intimate, like this. his face was never pressed into your neck, like this. his hands were never holding yours, like this.
and there's— there's a warmth in your chest, one you tell yourself is there because of how close he is. katsuki feels so warm pressed up against you and you're dizzy from the way his smell fills your senses, could feel his heart beat from where it's pressed against your back. you wonder if katsuki could feel yours, too; your heart, the way it's beating so fast you're sure it's going to explode. briefly, you wonder if katsuki's using part of his quirk— if this is what his nitroglycerine feels when it activates: warm in his hands, before it explodes.
"bakugou katsuki," you announce teasingly, biting back a smile when you feel him scoff. "do you love me?"
it was meant to be a joke, at first. asking him. like asking him stupid stuff like would you love me if i was a worm? but now that it's out there— properly, like he'd said— it feels a little too real, a little too soon. cheeks feeling a little too warm for the cold air of the night, gaze a little too warm to be just a friend.
you aren't sure if you'd be heartbroken or relieved if katsuki said no— properly, like he'd said. you could laugh it off, write it off like the joke it was meant to be and you could go back to being... whatever the hell it is you two are. maybe this time you bit off more than you could chew, maybe you should've backed off when you still could and take back your question, crawl back into his bed before you actually do feel what his nitroglycerine does before it happens: warm in his hands, before it explodes in your face.
but you've never been good at knowing what's bad for you.
"well?" you murmur at his silence, "do you?"
"you want the good answer or the real answer?" his question makes your heart drop. it's a cold douse of water to your face, and suddenly you can feel the chilly air again, hands too cold for your own good. it's nitroglycerine, exploding in your face.
"well?" he murmurs when your reply takes too long for his liking. then he's leaning in, somehow making the already small space between you even smaller, and his eyes glance down to your lips. your heart begins to race again.
maybe it's the way he's looking at you that makes you feel brave, brave enough to glance at his lips, too, before you murmur, "the real answer."
your heart's in your throat and his heart's on his sleeve, but katsuki doesn't reply. instead, his hand's on your cheek and your eyes are fluttering shut, lips tingling at the sear of his kiss. only this time, it's katsuki who feels it— what nitroglycerine feels like: warm in your touch, explosions on his lips.
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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(*´∀`)♪ I’m here to request/suggest a scenario!
I love reading KiriBaku x Reader, but a lot of it is already established relationship, so I’d love to see your interpretation on how the throuple comes to be. Who liked who first? Who was dating who first? How did they decide to bring in a third? Was it smooth sailing or did it get a little angsty at first?
Of course you don’t gotta answer all those questions if you decide to write this one. I just really wanna see some the boys trying to navigate this kinda thing (*´꒳`*)
So I just finished writing a drabble/scenario that @ayustuff so wonderfully suggested and it explains a lot of how I think they would first establish their relationship. Ya'll can read that here if you'd like. What I will do now is give my opinion on their living situation (in bullet point headcanon style) after you all have established your relationship, but it's still a bit fresh. The reader is written as gender neutral here.
I stated that I think that they're relationship would begin during their third and last year of UA, so we'll start there.
You are all super excited about being a throuple. You and Kirishima show your enthusiasm bit more outwardly than Bakugou, but that's to be expected.
You guys decided to keep your relationship to yourselves for a while, but after some time the rest of the class figured it out. The sudden softness towards each other after weeks of Katsuki and Eijirou bickering. The lingering glances and quick gentle touches. Yeah, they figured it out.😅
No one really confronted you guys about it. They more or less just recognized it for what it was and accepted it and moved on. Aizawa also knew that something was up, but seeing as it didn't affect any your grades nor your abilities to train and become better heroes, he minded his own.
You would swap which room you guys would hang out in every evening. On Mondays and Wednesdays you would all be in Katsuki's room. Tuesdays and Thursdays were spent in your room. And Friday through Sunday you all stayed in Kirishima's room.
Kirishima may never admit it, but he loved having both of his partners in his space for long periods of time, because when Monday rolled around, his room smelled freshly of your mixed musks and by the time it was his turn to "host" again, your smells were just starting to fade.
Bakugou didn't mind having you and Kirishima in his space, but he really loved being in your space because of how safe and homey it felt. Kirishima's dorm was fine, but yours was softer. More pillows and cushions, a soft rug in the middle of the floor, and an oil diffuser that sometimes smelt of eucalyptus and other times lavender.
You, however, didn't really care whose room your stayed in for the evening, you were just happy to be with your boys.
The sleeping situation was sometimes awkward because you would bid each other a good night, just to later come out of your dorms to find your partners curled up in bed together.
Sometimes, Kirishima would find Katsuki in your room or you'd find the red head in Katsuki's room or Katsuki would find you in Eijirou's room.
The biggest issues was space. Your beds were only full size, so really, only two people could sleep comfortably on one mattress.
Your solution? You'd gather at the end of an evening and decide who stayed with whom. Sometimes, you wanted a bed to yourself, leaving the others to their own devices. Other times, Katsuki would back out and let you and Eijirou share a night and vice versa.
You all were so excited to share a place to share after you graduated. The first thing you all pitched in on was a California King bed, opting to put it in Kirishima's room since he had had the biggest growth spurt during high school.
You stilled had your separate rooms, wanting to maintain a healthy relationship regarding your privacy, but also due to having differing work schedules.
Sometimes, one of you would have to be up early or someone would come back home late, and in an effort to not disturb the others you'd tiptoe off to you own room.
House chores were never an issue between the three of you. Bakugou refused to assign designated chores because he thought it was stupid. You were all adults. "If something needs to be done and one of you had time, you fucking do it." He explained and you and Kiri both shrugged in agreement.
The only chore that was designated was cooking and Katsuki took that because he refused to eat nothing, but meat(Kirishima's preference) or take out(Your preference, except on a rare or special occasion.
I'm thinking about doing a NSFW add on to this, like and comment below if you want a spicy part 2!
Sweet peas: @the-weeping-author @millennialmagicalgirl @dcsiremc @dreamcastgirl99 @katsuslover @neon-gothicc @ayustuff
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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what if katsuki and kiri decides to court their romantic interest or ask out. katsuki and kiri likes eachother but their afraid to admit because of some shi so they decide to ask out someone else that they like.
they ask reader out, just to know that they asked out the same person. they try to win reader though reader can't decide because she likes both of them. reader haven't said she likes them both so katsuki and kiri starts to doubt themselves.
but at the end reader admits they/she/he can't pick because they/she/he like them both, blah, blah. an event happens and the three ended up together. ( the three's minds blew up when they realized they like eachothers )
( idk if you already wrote this or someone did because i don't really read fics beside katsuki's but it's just a suggestion!! heh, sorry if you can't understand. i suck at explaining hshsh )
This is a super cute idea! and I had a blast writing this! Thank you for sending it in, lovely❤️This definitely cured any writer's block I had. The reader is written as being gender neutral here.
The shy glances, the cute awkward ice breakers, the quickened heart beats when they notice each other staring. Gah! It's all so cute! Accept it's also super frustrating when neither of them make a move because they're both too shy and afraid to.
Poor Kirishima has tried to put the moves on Bakugou, but either the blonde is completely nonreceptive or just clueless.
Kirishima decided to cut his loses and just maintain his friendship with the blonde because he clearly wasn't interested in having anything more than what they had now. At least was how Kirishima had perceived Bakugou's reactions to his advances.
The truth is that Bakugou is afraid that he's taking Kirishima the wrong way. That their just good friends and he's just reading into it way too much. He had tried to return Kirishima's advances, but nothing ever came out the way the blonde wanted it too.
He was too coarse, too harsh and would more less unintentionally shoot Kiri down in the process of trying to reciprocate his feelings.
Bakugou wants Kirishima, he really does. But has never liked anyone like this before and is terrified that he'll mess it up and lose Kirishima's friendship altogether.
So the blonde just decides to keep it to himself and swoons over the buff red head quietly and hopefully unnoticed.
That is until you showed up. You were a transfer student who joined class 1A at the beginning of their third year.
You caught Kirishima's eye immediately. You were out spoken, passionate, funny, sweet and smart. You were also loud, blunt, sometimes harsh (but only when necessary), and a little crude and inappropriate at times. It also helped that you were quite a stunning creature.
Many people found you very attractive, but most would move along when they found that your personality was, well, a lot. But Kirishima thought you were super manly. You didn't care what anyone else thought about you and stayed true to yourself and what you believed in. Just like Bakugou.
Bakugou took a little more time to warm up to you. He appreciated your honesty and bluntness, but hated when you would put him on blast, which you did regularly.
How could he not find you attractive after all that? You were one of the few people who saw through his grumpy charade and took your time taking down his wall brick by brick. Just like Kirishima had.
It wasn't too long after that Kirishima decided move on from his feelings toward Bakugou. He had to leave them behind because he was never going to be able to move forward in his journey if he held onto the hope of something that he knew would never be.
He asked you out after class one day. Saying that Fatgum offered to "supervise" a date for the two of you, so that you could have some privacy away from the rest of the class.
You were flattered, but also a little nervous. You liked Kirishima, a lot, if you were being completely honest and didn't want to rush into things.
You both decided to see where things went. Keep being friendly; friendlier than before and see what comes of it.
In kind, Bakugou did the same, moving on from his hopes of being with Kirishima as more than a friend. Instead, he decided to focus all of his attention on you.
The spiky haired fiend was a bit frustrated that you were just as clueless as the gorgeous himbo and finally spelled it out for you one day after class.
"I like you, okay? Freakin' dumbass" He spat, but it had no venom behind it.
You had had an inkling that the human firecracker might have been into you, but because he had never outwardly expressed it, you never asked, not wanting to accidently read into something that wasn't there. "Okay, rude. But I respect your forwardness." You replied, commending him for being honest about his feelings for once.
You realized quickly that you had a decision to make. You didn't want to lead either of them on, so you would have to pick.
You began to spend extra time after class with them both, one on one. Sometimes, you'd go to the school's gym with Kiri to get in a good workout before bed. Other times, you'd hang out with Bakugou in his dorm reading manga and swapping books from time to time.
The problem? You now couldn't pick. You liked them both a lot. They both had great qualities you appreciated and they both treated you well in their own ways.
Shortly after this realization, you began to notice their bickering. They started to snap at each other during training and their friendship dynamic was starting to sink because everything was starting to become a competition over who was better for you and with you.
Guilt started to eat at you as you watched their friendship begin to go up in smoke, all because you couldn't choose. You knew that if you did end up picking one over the other, that their friendship would most likely end as a result. So with a heavy heart, you decided to reject them both.
"I.. I can't pick." Your voice was shaky from the lump that formed in your throat. "I like you both. Dammit, it's not fair!" You cried, frustrated with no one but yourself as tears streamed down your face. "I don't want to destroy your friendship and I recognize that to an extent, I already have." You hiccupped.
It was taking everything in the boys not to rush over to you on the rooftop to embrace you.
"So, I am just going to remove myself from the equation altogether and reject you both. I'm sorry for all the trouble and hurt I've caused both of you. I hope you can forgive me." You sobbed softly, bowing to them both and praying that they will at least still want your friendship after.
Tears formed in Kirishima's eyes as he watched you cry, holding yourself as you tried to wipe your tears away to no avail as more kept coming. He never wanted this. He wanted you and Bakugou to be happy. He could do that right? Step back and let you two have each other.
Kirishima whipped his face toward Bakugou when he heard him sniffling too. Bakugou knew exactly how you felt because he wanted both of you too, but now he would have neither of you. "Dammit all!" The blonde bawled, gritting his teeth angrily at his own unchecked emotions.
The red head stuffed down the lump forming in his throat down and cleared it, grabbing both yours and Katsuki's attention. "I have a confession." He said shakily. You both blinked watery eyes at him, quietly sniffling and waiting for him to continue. "Fuck." He chuckled, despite himself, terrified that this would totally backfire, but he had to be manly. And that met being fully transparent.
"I like you both too." He finally confessed, spitting the words out as quickly as possible. Everything went silent except the wind the swept by you on the rooftop. "W-What?" You sniveled, wiping your runny nose with the back of your hand. "I said, I like-" Kirishima was cut off by Bakugou, "Me too." He whispered, blush crossing the bridge of his nose at the admission.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Kirishima pressed Bakugou gently, bringing his hand up to the blonde's chin and turning his face toward him. "Why didn't you?" The blonde spat, tears still pearling at the corners of his intense ruby eyes. "I tried, but you always seemed disinterested. So I decided having you as a friend was better than not having you at all." The sturdy hero explained, thumbing at the tears that threatened to breach the blonde's cheeks.
"That's why I didn't say anything either." Katsuki swallowed, his heart pounding within his chest as Eijirou held his face sweetly, but stared at him with such intensity that it made him feel small beneath his gaze. They both whipped their heads over at you as you began to laugh, really laugh. "So.. So wait.." You began, pausing to breathe in between chortles, "You both liked each other and me this entire time?" You were completely flabbergasted. "Uh.." They both said in unison, turning back toward each other.
"Yeah." Kirishima chuckled, "I guess so." Bakugou rolled his eyes and shouldered Kirishima's hand off his face. "Tch. Dumbass." The blonde quipped. "Hey. You were a dumbass too, dumbass." You said pointedly at Katsuki. "Yeah, whatever." He mumbled in response, blush climbing his cheeks again at being called out.
Eijirou offered his hand to you and you walked forward a few paces until you were within reach. He grabbed you by the wrist and brought you into an embrace, pecking a kiss to your temple. Katsuki scoffed and moved away to let you both have your emotional moment, but squeaked when he was yanked back by the collar of his shirt and brought into the embrace.
He fought it at first, trying to squirm away, but then he heard the remnants of your tears through a sniffle and felt your thumb graze the back of his hand, seeking to hold it. Katsuki sighed, giving in and took your hand into his. He stopped grumbling altogether when he felt Eijirou's lips press a kiss to his cheek. They glanced at each other then moved in tandem to kiss one another. You cooed up at them, thinking they were so pretty kissing each other.
Katsuki scoffed and Eijirou chuckled, leaning down to offer you a kiss too. You accepted him, cupping his face with the hand that wasn't holding Katsuki's. Envy filled the blonde's chest cavity and after Eijirou pulled away, Katsuki's lips were on yours like white on rice.
Another gust of wind rushed by the three of you on the rooftop. "Let's head in." Kirishima suggested, taking Bakugou's other hand and the three of you walked back into your dorm building. "Where do we go from here?" You asked, looking up at them. "Ya know there will be people that'll never accept us." The blonde hissed quietly at the thought. "That may be true." Eijirou nodded, "But I don't care. I finally have what I wanted and I am going to fight to keep it." He said stoically. Both yours and Katsuki's lashes fluttered up at Eijirou, both of you in awe at the man.
"That was super manly." You teased, poking at his side. Katsuki leaned close to Eijirou's ear, til he was sure the other man could feel the warmth of his breath. "Yeah, Red, what they said, Manly~" Eijirou shivered at the praise, his face heating up in embarrassment. "K-Knock it off. At least wait for us to get back into a room. Geez." He said, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand that had been previously holding Katsuki's. You and the blonde looked at each other and grinned menacingly, "Nah."
Sweet peas: @the-weeping-author @millennialmagicalgirl @dcsiremc @dreamcastgirl99 @katsuslover @neon-gothicc @ayustuff
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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That scene at the end of S5 E16 when Lydia is telling Natalie “They saved me, mom. Stiles saved me.” just hits me in my fucking feels every god damn time. I just rewatched it TWICE CUS I LOVE THAT SCENE (for as heart wrenching as it feels)
Also just the entirety of them trying to get Lydia out of Eichen House between E15 and E16 has got to be my favorite episodes of season 5 so far.
I feel like I could do a full commentary sheet on season 5 cus I feel like I have so many thoughts
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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Being in a long-term fandom really makes me wish we had like, Fandom Supreme Courts, just so that every time the same stupid discourse rears its ugly head for the umpteenth time in ten years, we can just be like, “Actually this argument was settled in the 2006 Fandom Supreme Court ruling in the case of AngelPotter vs. Xx_goth1c-r0se_xX, so everbody can shut up about it now.” Imagine the wank reduction.
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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I desperately need a Teen Wolf Fix-It fic where Allison does not die and Stiles never gets with Malia. Unfortunately for me, I would probably have to write it myself 🙃
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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love is stored in the fictional couple i’ve gotten overly invested in
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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Hey btw, if you're doing worldbuilding on something, and you're scared of writing ~unrealistic~ things into it out of fear that it'll sound lazy and ripped-out-of-your-ass, but you also don't want to do all the back-breaking research on coming up with depressingly boring, but practical and ~realistic~ solutions, have a rule:
Just give the thing two layers of explanation. One to explain the specific problem, and another one explaining the explanation. Have an example:
Plot hole 1: If the vampires can't stand daylight, why couldn't they just move around underground?
Solution 1: They can't go underground, the sewer system of the city is full of giant alligators who would eat them.
Well, that's a very quick and simple explanation, which sure opens up additional questions.
Plot hole 2: How and why the fuck are there alligators in the sewers? How do they survive, what do they eat down there when there's no vampires?
Solution 2: The nuns of the Underground Monastery feed and take care of them as a part of their sacred duties.
It takes exactly two layers to create an illusion that every question has an answer - that it's just turtles all the way down. And if you're lucky, you might even find that the second question's answer loops right back into the first one, filling up the plot hole entirely:
Plot hole 3: Who the fuck are the sewer nuns and what's their point and purpose?
Solution 3: The sewer nuns live underground in order to feed the alligators, in order to make sure that the vampires don't try to move around via the sewer system.
When you're just making things up, you don't need to have an answer for everything - just two layers is enough to create the illusion of infinite depth. Answer the question that looms behind the answer of the first question, and a normal reader won't bother to dig around for a 3rd question.
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 2 years ago
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Aegon: So you like Aemond?
Y/N: Yes...Thoughts?
Aegon: and prayers, girl what
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 3 years ago
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I have feelings about a fictional character and I’m about to make it everyone else’s problem.
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 4 years ago
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Unforgiven: Part III
Summary: After Order 66, everything was destroyed. The Empire left death and destruction in its wake. But one choice could change everything forever. The question is…is it the right one? Maul x Ahsoka 18+ For Eventual Chapters Warnings: Nonexplicit sexual content, slow burn, PTSD TW, inappropriate use of the force Collab fic with @lordofthenerds97
TW FOR THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES:
Panic Attacks
PTSD Flashbacks/Nightmares
Survivor’s Guilt
Descriptions of Mental Illness
Ships flew in and out, entering and exiting the atmosphere of Dantooine. J’has had set up a base of sorts, one in the Outer Rim territories that the Empire hadn’t managed to get ahold of yet. She’d been in contact with both Ahsoka and Obi Wan. They had helped her create the base as a safe haven where people oppressed by the Empire could be left alone. While it was true Palpatine had a large and wide reach, there were still some systems that were fighting Imperial occupation. And thankfully, the Raioballo system was one of them.
Early on after the Empire had taken control of the galaxy, J’has had reached out to Ahsoka. She was a contact of Bo’Katan’s. The Togruta had been more than willing to help her. She’d been one of the clones’ targets during Order 66. She’d managed to throw them off her tail for a little bit, but she needed to lay low to continue the guise that she was gone. During that time, she’d spent several months with J’has on Dantooine.
She was surprised to find that J’has was a force-wielder as well, but it wasn’t long after that she’d learned the backstory of the bounty hunter.
Jerked out of her thoughts, J’has looked up when she heard her name called. She turned to find Paxtn, one of her closest allies and friends, approaching her. He held a datapad in one hand and his glasses in the other with a frown on his face.
“What’s wrong?” J’has asked.
He sighed and shook his head. “We got word from one of the Sentries on the rim of the sector. There’s Imperial Star Destroyers headed this way. We can hide beneath the cloak for a while, but it’s only a matter of time until they send scouting parties to the surface of each planet.”
The woman sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “That’s not good.”
“No,” he agreed. “But in good news, we’ve received an encrypted transmission from Ahsoka.”
J’has perked up at the sound of her friend’s name. “What did she say?”
“It took a while to decipher. She used a complex code to hide it. And it was buried deep in subspace, deeper than most of our transmissions. The woman knows how to cover her tracks.”
She chuckled. “That tends to happen when the Empire thinks you’re dead. I’m sure she wants to keep it that way.”
Paxtn nodded. He understood the want to stay under Imperial radar. “She’s interested in the message you sent her, that much was clear. She kept asking if you were sure he was alive. Not sure what that means, but she seemed spooked by it.”
J’has frowned. It took her a minute to remember exactly what it was that she’d said. The message had been sent a long time ago. Then it hit her.
Oh, she thought. Well, at least that got her attention.
“Then she asked when you got the intel and how old it was. And she said she would be here within a week.”
She blinked in surprise. She wasn’t sure what it would take to get Ahsoka back to Dantooine, but she was quite interested in the fact that it was simply the mention of the Dark sider’s name. Regardless, she would be happy to have to Togruta’s help. Their numbers had been dwindling. The Empire was sending spies to every sector in the galaxy and rooting out any seed of rebellion that they found. The Shadow squadron was quickly losing numbers. And they needed Ahsoka to keep them on their feet.
“How long ago did we receive the message?”
Paxtn scrolled through a few more lines of code with a frown as he tried to find the date of the transmission. “It was sent about three days ago.”
J’has nodded. “Good. Make some arrangements and make sure that she has a suitable place to stay. If you can, see if you can get one of the cavern apartments ready. She’s going to need time to recuperate. I know Ahsoka, and I know she probably hasn’t been taking as good of care of herself as she should.”
And little did she know, she was more right than she ever wanted to be.
~*~*~*~
Ahsoka glared at the Devaronian in front of her. “Excuse me?” she snapped.
He smirked at her, his eyes glinting devilishly in the dim light of the bar. “You heard me, he said. “If you are who you say you are, then this wouldn’t be a problem. And you’ll have as much fuel as you need.”
“Are you trying to blackmail me?”
He chuckled. “On the contrary, my dear. I’m simply trying to see if your reputation is truly deserved or not.”
Her eyes darkened as she continued to glare at him. “I’m not here to do your bidding, Kolt.”
The Devaronian raised an eyebrow at her. “It appears you are,” he said. “You’re on my planet, looking for my fuel. I don’t think you’re in a position to deny my form of payment.”
She could practically feel her montrals hum with the tension in the air. Kolt had draped himself across the chair, with one leg hooked over the arm. He lazily swirled his drink around as he stared at her.
Suddenly, the image of the Manda’lor Zabrak flashed in front of her.
His form confidently and carelessly laid across the throne as he stared at her from across the room. He tilted his head as he motioned to her with his cup, inviting her to come closer.
“Ahsoka,”
His horns practically shone under the lights of the throne room. His voice was deep and gravelly as he spoke to her.
She blinked rapidly, trying to force the image out of her mind.
“Do we have a deal, Ashla?”
Ahsoka almost paled at the name, but she kept her composure. He had referred to her as Ashla before. She figured it had been a jab at her loyalties, but it had grown to a term of respect. At least, she thought it had.
She ground her teeth and sighed. “Fine.”
Kolt grinned and raised his glass. “Wonderful.” He motioned for one of his men to step forward. “This is Darilan. He’ll make sure you have everything you need. Starting with a drink!”
The other Devaronian raised his lip sightless before handing her a glass. She took it with a skeptical look. The liquid smelled as if it could strip the paint off a speeder. It took everything she has not to gag at the smell. Kolt leaned forward, his twisted horns and crooked smile making him look even more devilish than he already appeared. He extended his cup, expecting her to toast.
Cautiously, Ahsoka tapped her glass against his before bracing herself and lifting it to her lips. She drained it in one gulp, opening her throat and allowing all of the burning liquid to scald her throat as it cascaded down.
She handed the glass back to Darilan, managing to keep a straight face and not flinch at the after effects of the alcohol that felt like it was still eating away at her throat. She wouldn’t be surprised if it was raw later. “I’ll take that information now.” she said.
Kolt chuckled. “Straight to business. I like you, Ashla. Darilan, as the Lady says.”
Darilan looked at Kolt before turning his attention to Ahsoka. “This way,” he said.
~*~*~*~
The more Ahsoka learned about what Kolt wanted her to do, the more disdain she held for the man.
She didn’t have time to be sent on wild bantha chases. It frustrated her to no end that she was being pulled down the rabbit hole of Kolt’s crime family.
If Anakin could see me now, she thought to herself.
Oh believe me, Snips. I can see you. What have you done?
She winced at the voice in her head. Ahsoka knew she should have been used to it by now, but every time she heard the scathing tone in his voice, it cut her to the core. “What I have to do…” she said aloud. “J’has asked for my help. She needs me.”
But that’s not the only thing that’s motivating you, is it?
She froze in her tracks. “Excuse me?” She hissed lowly.
You heard me. There’s another reason that you’re putting yourself in harm’s way. And it’s not just because a small group of rebels asked for your help. She promised you information.
Ahsoka shook her head and continued with a rough sigh, trying to shove Anakin’s nagging voice out of her mind.
You can’t just shut me out, Snips. I’m in your head.
“I know that,” she snapped. “But it would help considerably if you would so kindly shut up.”
He snorted. Not a chance.
She growled under her breath and stalked up the ramp to her ship. If she was going to go through with this, she needed to do her research.
Quit ignoring me, Ahsoka. You know this isn’t right. Is he really worth this?
“You’re the one always telling me that I should have listened to him!” she exclaimed as she dropped into the pilots chair. She flipped a few switches and the holonet appeared in front of her. Her slim fingers did their work precisely as she tapped in a few lines of code that she needed to hide her signal from any prying eyes.
The past is the past, Ahsoka. You can’t amend that mistake by trying to look for him now.
“Shut up,” she hissed. “You don’t know what’s going on inside my head.”
That’s where you’re wrong, Ahsoka. As much as you don’t want to admit it, we are all a part of you.
She paled at the sound of Obi Wan’s voice. It had been a long time since she heard his soothing Couriscanti accent. He was right, she knew. But she couldn’t bring herself to admit it.
“You’re just a figment of my imagination,” she said. Obi Wan sighed and she could picture him shaking his head.
Think, Ahsoka. You can feel our signatures. They’re a part of you.
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
I beg your pardon?
“I might be able to feel yours, Obi Wan. But Anakin? He’s dead. If his Force would be with anyone, it would be Padme. And she’s dead too.”
So then that just makes me the more reasonable part of your conscience, Anakin said. And a part of you.
Ahsoka growled. “Enough,” she said. “I have a job to do and I can’t do it with you two constantly bickering with me.”
She could feel the discontent in the back of her mind, but she paid it no attention. She didn’t have the luxury of time to dwell on what they’d said to her.
“If there’s a chance I can do something to make this right, I need to take that chance.” she said to herself. She’d fingers gripped the edge of the dash in front of her, squeezing until she could feel her nails breaking beneath the pressure.
After a few intense seconds of holding her breath, she slowly let it out. She could feel the raging storm in her mind calm slightly.
“Alright. Let’s get to work.”
~*~*~*~
Ahsoka hissed as she prodded the ribs on her right. She grimaced when she saw the blackening bruise that was spreading across her side. There wasn’t a lot she could do about the discoloration of the orange skin, but she figured she could do something about the pain.
More than likely, she’d fractured a few of them. Even more likely was the fact that she probably split them in half.
She cursed as she held the hem of her battledress in her teeth and reached for the bacta cream that was dwindling in supply. She groaned with the pain as she rubbed it across her damaged bones, sighing after a moment as the cream began to work its magic and spread a pleasant cooling sensation through her body.
Ahsoka shimmied out of her leggings, checking her lower body for damage. She glowered as she thought about the events that led to her injuries.
She knew she wouldn’t be able to find a better deal anywhere else, especially considering where she was. So after a few days, she went back to them. But as expected, their price had gone up.
A tremor ran down her spine and she closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see the blood still staining her hands.
Oh, Snips…
Ahsoka raised her lip in a snarl. “I thought I told you to leave me alone?”
She felt something move inside her. If she didn’t know better, she would have said it was Anakin’s Force. But, she did know better.
Ahsoka, what have you done?
Obi Wan’s voice was clear beside Anakin’s and she bristled.
“What both of you taught me. I’m surviving. Staying alive.”
Yes, but are you really living, Snips?
“Don’t patronize me, Anakin!” she snapped.
I’m not patronizing you, Ahsoka! I’m asking a legitimate question.
She slammed her fist down on the sink of the fresher, her eyes burning into the mirror. If she looked hard enough, she could practically see Anakin and Obi Wan beside her. “I’ve lived through enough goddamn shit these past years, Anakin. Every time I did it with both you and Obi Wan criticizing my every move. Now that I’m actually trying to do something about the mistakes I made in the past, you’re degrading that too!”
Ahsoka, he’s not-
“And you have no right to talk either, Obi Wan!” she snarled. She could feel the anger pulsing within her as she addressed the Force signature she could feel. She knew Obi Wan was paying attention to what she did, whether the Obi Wan in her head agreed or not. “You left me! I needed you in one of the darkest times in my life, and you left me! What the hell was I supposed to do? I don’t think you understand…either of you! I spent almost my whole life in the middle of a war zone! How was I supposed to deal with everything that happened without my closest friends?!”
Because I taught you how!
Ahsoka felt tears of anger flood her eyes as she listened to what Anakin said. “No! You taught me to push everything aside and never acknowledge my problems! Anakin, I don’t know how to do this!”
Letting out a sob, Ahsoka sank to her knees. Injuries be damned right now. Her chest heaved as she wrapped her arms around her knees. She had no idea how to make sense of the chaos that was going on inside her head. She could feel herself succumbing to the darkness once again. But in the back of her mind, there was something pulling her back towards the light.
You can do this, Ahsoka. I know you can. Fight it. Stay strong.
Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to figure out who’s voice it was. It didn’t sound like Rex. The accent was wrong for it to be Obi Wan.
Stand up, Ad’ika.
Everything seemed to stand still. Her heart slowed, but she could still hear the pounding in her ears. She focused in on the voice, listening it what it said.
Good. Stand.
Taking a shaky breath, Ahsoka pulled herself to her feet.
Ignore them, Ahsoka. You are stronger than they are.
She did as the voice asked, repeating the mantra that it kept saying to her.
Whoever or whatever that voice was, it was right. She knew it was.
~*~*~*~
“Do you really think you’re better off on your own, Lady Tano?”
Ashoka ignored him and continued shoving things into the back back she’d found a week ago while scavenging on one of Couruscant’s moons. It was a dangerous task, but one that Maul had insisted on. At the time, Ahsoka hadn’t understood his desire to do something she considered so foolish. It was only later that she understood how important it was.
He didn’t offer an explanation, regardless of how many times she’d asked for one. He would simply tell her that they needed to take what they could while they still had the chance.
Just trying to keep herself alive, she followed his lead.
Later, she understood how important it was for them to get their hands on what they could while Palpatine was busy trying to keep his new Empire under his thumb.
“Talk to me, Ahsoka,” he growled quietly.
Ahsoka let out an exasperated sigh and practically threw her hands up. “Being with you is dangerous, Maul. Palpatine knows you’re alive. But as far as he’s concerned with me, I’m dead. And I would very much like to stay that way in the Empire’s eyes.”
Maul sighed and shook his head. He knew she had a point, but he also had a selfish reason for wanting her to stay with him. As long as she was there, he had the chance to try to make up for his own wrongs. But she apparently wasn’t having any of it.
“Be that as it may, you’re hardly strong enough to fend for yourself.” he said with a frown.
That gave her pause. He had a point; her wounds had just barely healed. They hadn’t even scarred over yet. She still had difficulty with her shoulder, and she knew if she wasn’t careful she would injure it even more.
If she was being honest with herself, being with Maul made her extremely uncomfortable. While it was true he was no longer a Sith, he still followed the Dark Side of the Force. Being near any darksider made her skin crawl. But Maul was a special case.
Even so, she couldn’t overlook the fact that he’d saved her life.
“Look, Maul.” she said, looking up at him. Her expression softened when she saw the genuine concern on his face. It was quickly masked when she looked at him. But Ahsoka saw it nonetheless. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I really do.”
“But?”
She sighed and hugged her middle, trying to figure out what to say so as to not offend him. “But we both have completely different morals. You’re a Sith, for Gods’ sake.”
He frowned at her. “Excuse me?”
Realizing what she’d said, Ahsoka continued, not realizing she was rambling almost incoherently. “I mean, you serve the Dark Side, Maul. I’m a Jedi. Or…at least I was. Not anymore. But the morals I learned still stand with me. They’re a part of me. I’m supposed to represent the light…everything good within the Force. You’re the exact opposite! Everything you know is anger and hate…the kindness you’ve showed me these last few months has amazed me to know end, but still-“
“Ashla, please. Stop talking.”
Ahsoka promptly shut her mouth at hearing the name he’d taken to calling her.
“As you so graciously pointed out, I follow the Dark Side. But that doesn’t necessarily mean everything I do is to cause pain and suffering. And you are hardly a Jedi now. Just because we follow different paths, that doesn’t mean we are exactly the opposite. We have more in common than you might think.”
Ahsoka opened her mouth to interject, but he held up a hand. She could tell that his demeanor had changed. Over the six months she’d spent with him, she’d come to know a different side of Maul. Everything that she saw while she was still a Jedi was what he showed everyone. And she was starting to realize that there was more to him than he let on. And while she was sure he wasn’t showing her his full self, she’d learned that he wasn’t only a warrior full of hate. He had a surprising amount of compassion for a former Sith Lord. But she decided not to dwell on it.
“Be that as it may…you have made your choice. And I will honor your right to choose. I’ll do what I can to make sure you stay alive, but I can’t guarantee to do so once we part ways.”
Ahsoka blinked in surprise. She hadn’t expected that. And it robbed her of words.
~*~*~*~
Ahsoka sighed and leaned her head back against the pilots chair. Her eyes closed briefly as the memory faded from her mind. She’d been feeling something lately, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. But she knew it rubbed her the wrong way.
She hadn’t thought about the time she spent with Maul in a very long time. Honestly, she preferred not to. Over the past several years, she allowed both herself and the voices in her head to continually beat herself up over the fact that she hadn’t listened to him when she had the chance. It made her more angry at herself than anything. She realized now that she could have prevented so many things if she had just listened.
But she didn’t.
Her Jedi training was still ingrained in her at the time, much as she tried to ignore it. They wouldn’t admit it, but the Council was willing to do just about anything to capture Maul. And while she was working with Bo-Katan, she thought she understood why. Even being out of the Order for almost two years at that point, she was still seeing only what the Council wanted her to see.
She was still seeing Maul as the enemy.
As a Sith.
A beeping caught her attention and dragged her out of her thoughts. Ahsoka blinked a couple times, frowning at the red light that was pulsing.
“Incoming transmission.”
She rolled her eyes at the obvious statement the ship’s computer made. Her fingers tapped a few buttons that lit up the screen. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw who was staring back at her.
“Ahsoka?”
“Obi Wan,” she gasped quietly. She felt tears spring to her eyes as she stared at the shaky image in front of her.
He let out a sigh of relief. “It’s good to see you.”
She let out a laugh and a sob all in one. “That’s really the first thing you say to me in years?”
Obi Wan chuckled. “Fair point.”
“Gods, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you, Obi Wan.”
He smiled gently at the crying Togruta. “I’m sorry, Ahsoka.” he said softly. “I know I have a lot of explaining to do. And I’m sorry I couldn’t do it before now.”
She frowned, tears still streaming freely down her cheeks. “What?”
Obi Wan sighed. “There’s a few things I haven’t told you, Ahsoka.”
The Togruta rolled her eyes. “I gathered as much,” she said. “Let’s start with why I haven’t heard from you in two years.”
He nodded. “When I last saw Anakin on Mustafar, Padme had followed him. I found her lying unconscious on the ground and…pregnant.”
That made Ahsoka’s eyes go wide. “What?”
“I knew there was obviously a forbidden relationship between them, but I didn’t realize how intimate it was.”
“What happened to the child?” Ahsoka asked quietly. She was almost afraid to know the answer.
“You mean children. Padme was carrying twins.” She gasped, and Obi Wan nodded. He could understand her surprise. It had shocked him as well. “The children are fine. Leia has been adopted by a royal family. And Luke is taken care of as well.”
“Where are you?”
He sighed and shook his head. “I wish I could tell you, Ahsoka. I really do. But it’s for the boy’s protection that I keep our location secret.”
“Our? So you’re with him?”
Obi Wan nodded. “Yes. I trust the people that Leia is with. But Luke…I made a promise to Padme that I would keep him safe. So that’s what I’m doing.”
Ahsoka sighed. “Good. Keep him safe, Obi Wan. I wish there was something I could do to help you.”
“You’re doing it right now.”
She frowned. “What?”
“You’re keeping yourself alive, Ahsoka. You are my closest friend. I need you to make sure nothing happens to you.”
Ahsoka let out a mirthless laugh. If he only knew, she thought. “I can’t make any promises, Master.” she said quietly.
His keen eyes searched her features and examined her quietly. “I can feel your turmoil, Ahsoka. And I wish there was something I could do to take it away.”
She shook her head and felt tears spring to her eyes once again.
He’s lying. You’re just as pathetic now as you were when you were a child.
Ahsoka clenched her jaw and forced herself to look him in the eye. “With all respect, Master, you have no idea the kind of hell I’ve lived for the last several years.” Something along the lines of hurt flashed across his face, and he opened his mouth to say something. But Ahsoka cut him off. “While you were safe and hidden away on whatever world you found yourself on, I was here. I was the one trying to avoid the bloodhounds that Sidious sent after the Jedi. I watched my closest friends die, Obi Wan. I’ve spent Gods know how long trying to just stay alive. That’s hard to do when everything in the world tells you that you should be dead.”
She angrily wiped the tears from her face and glared at him. By the surprise on his face and the wince in his shoulders, she knew he could feel her energy rippling through the Force. She didn’t mask it. Instead, Ahsoka let herself feel. And she made sure Obi Wan knew exactly what it was she was feeling.
Easy, Snips. He knows you’re upset. Try not to overwhelm him.
Why shouldn’t I?! She snapped back. He doesn’t know what I’ve been through!
He might not. But he understands.
How?!
Because he knows war. He saw countless friends die. He understands your pain.
They weren’t just my friends! They were my brothers! Obi Wan might have known war. But I lived it! I was born into it and raised to fight. Anakin, I was fourteen when I became your Padawan! I was three years old when I started training as a Jedi. Normal children grow up learning language and history. I grew up learning saber techniques and how to kill a droid.
The Anakin inside her head quieted, but she could feel him wriggle with discomfort as he settled back into the darkness.
Obi Wan noticed the pain in her expression and he reached out to her. “I’m so sorry, Ahsoka. I didn’t realize how hard this was for you.”
She sighed and wiped her eyes again before righting herself. “As much as I would love to believe that you called to catch up, there’s got to be another reason, Obi Wan.”
He had the decency to look ashamed. “You’re right,” he said. “I have a few contacts on the Outer Rim. I heard you’re responding to a rebellion request for aid?”
She stiffened. So that’s what this was about. “What of it?”
“I just want you to be careful. I feel a disturbance in the Force. It’s strong.”
Ahsoka furrowed her eyebrow markings. That concerned her. She allowed herself to open to the Force, searching for whatever Obi Wan was feeling. She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes, her consciousness gently floating into the Force. Only when she was fully open to it did she immediately close herself off and recoil.
The inky blackness of the dark side was intertwining itself with the light of the Force. It wound itself around the light and seeped into every aspect of it. Two golden eyes flashed before her, blinking out of existence almost as quickly as they had appeared.
Her breathing came in ragged gasps as she stumbled backwards, colliding with her chair and falling to the floor.
“Ahsoka?!”
“It’s him,” she gasped quietly. “It’s him.”
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 4 years ago
Text
The Unforgiven: Part II
Summary: After Order 66, everything was destroyed. The Empire left death and destruction in its wake. But one choice could change everything forever. The question is…is it the right one? Maul x Ahsoka 18+ For Eventual Chapters Warnings: Nonexplicit sexual content, slow burn, PTSD TW, inappropriate use of the force Collab fic with @lordofthenerds97
TW FOR THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES:
Panic Attacks
PTSD Flashbacks/Nightmares
Survivor’s Guilt
Mentions of Self Harm/Attempted Suicide
~*~*~*~
Ash.
Blaster fire.
Smoke.
She could hear footsteps pounding on the metal around her. The voices kept getting closer, and she glanced over her shoulder for what felt like the millionth time.
Pain.
Death.
Fear.
She felt it all, ripping through her like teeth. Golden eyes stared at her through the smoke and she gasped at the sight.
Jesse.
Kix.
Rex.
Screams and the sound of gunfire surrounded her on all sides. Her eyes widened as she tried to locate where it was all coming from.
Anger.
Hate.
Rage.
A cyclone of emotions tore through her mind. It didn’t matter if they were hers or not. The Force echoed with the suffering of her friends.
Her Masters.
Her comrades.
Her boys.
Ahsoka sat bolt upright with a scream. It echoed between the four walls of her cramped quarters, making her montrals hum with the noise. She winced at the sound, bringing her hand up to her forehead. Sweat dripped down her skin and she wiped it away with the back of her hand before rubbing her eyes.
“It was just a nightmare,” she told herself.
As much as she hated to admit it, she’d been having them more and more often. She wasn’t sure what had brought them on.
How long has it been? Two years?
She shook her head and sighed, untangling herself from the bedsheet. Her bare feet hit the cold metal of the floor and shocked her awake. She readjusted her shirt and made her way to the door. It opened on hydraulic hinges with a quiet hiss, retreating within to wall to grant her access to the rest of the ship. She quietly padded down the hall before stopping at another door. That one hissed open to reveal a refresher.
Ahsoka splashed the cool water on her face, her hands shaking.
Bodies surrounded her. She didn’t know if she was the cause of their death or someone else. But it sent pain rippling through her heart. Those were her friends.
She squeezed her eyes shut and bared her teeth, trying to fight off the memories. Even as she tried to suffocate the unwelcome images, she could hear them.
“Please,” she begged aloud, dropping her face into her hands and falling to her knees. She could feel it pressing in on her from all sides. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks as she tried to fight it off. “Please stop…”
Ignoring her pleas, Ahsoka felt them pressing in on her through the Force. Their voices whispered against her ears, fleeting touches caressed her arms. The sound of blaster fire assaulted her from all sides, leaving her no room to breathe. She felt her throat closing up and her eyes widened in panic. A weight settled on her chest and bore down on her. The harder she tried to fight it, the heavier it became. Her slender fingers wrapped around the invisible force on her throat, trying to stop it from suffocating her. She was choking on her own breath and had little control over it.
Ahsoka squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out all sensations.
Deep breaths, she thought. You can do this. Anakin taught you how to control your emotions.
With her arms shaking, she forced herself to suck in a breath. She let out a sob as she forced another breath into her lungs, her chest expanding with the rapid intake of air.
You left them to die. Rex. Jesse. Kix. You deserve every ounce of suffering for that.
“No, it wasn’t my fault!” she shouted, trying to get that incessant voice to leave her alone. It sounded familiar, but she couldn’t place exactly who it was.
You left me, Ahsoka!
“Anakin!” she gasped.
He shimmered to life in front of her, his blue eyes glowering at her. Ahsoka didn’t want to know if it was his Force signature or simply her mind playing tricks on her. But she could feel his disapproval. Is this what you’ve been reduced to? he sneered.
Ahsoka felt her eyes will with tears and she stared at him. Or, her mind’s interpretation of him. “I…I don’t…”
Exactly. You don’t know. If you had just listened when you had the chance, you wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.
“No!”
Yes! You selfishly ignored the warnings you were given and lost any chance of a head start you might have had. The death of those men? That’s on your head Ahsoka!
She shook her head and let out a sob. Her arms went around her middle, hugging herself as she slid to the floor. “No…there was nothing I could have done…”
Bullshit!
“You don’t know that!”
The hell I don’t! You lost your chance because you didn’t want to listen to someone who so obviously wanted to help you!
Another sob took over her body as she collapsed, allowing herself to lose control. “It was wrong…he was a Sith…”
The voice of Anakin echoed through her head as he let out a mirthless laugh. Was he? Or was that what you told yourself to feel better about what you did?
Ahsoka continued to let her emotions roll off of her in waves. She knew Master Kenobi would tell her to curb her feelings and keep everything under control. But Anakin had taught her differently. He taught her to use her emotions.
If either of them could see what she had become, they would both be ashamed, that much she was sure of.
“It should have been me that died on that ship…” she choked out, feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt flood her mind. “Why didn’t I die?”
She closed her eyes and fought back another round of tears as she tried to collect herself. She’d been replaying that night in her mind over and over again every single day for the past two years. There wasn’t a single moment that escaped her. She knew exactly why she was still alive. And she resented every minute of it.
The voices in her head wouldn’t stop assaulting her. It seemed that with every reason she was forced to hear that she shouldn’t be alive, she was forced to hear it from a different voice.
To die on that ship, your fate was. Defy the will of the Force, you have. Grave consequences, there will be. Master Yoda.
The faith that your friends placed in you was obviously placed without care. You were to face the fate of order 66. Master Windu.
You’re obviously not feeling the weight of your actions, Ahsoka. You left us. Obi Wan.
You left me to die, Ahsoka! If only you knew what was going to happen, you could have saved us. Oh, wait. You did know. Anakin.
The General is right. Your failure to act resulted in all of our deaths. Rex.
Ahsoka sobbed again as she listened to each of the voices. “You’re right!” she screamed. “I should be dead! I don’t deserve to be here!”
Her entire body shook as she let everything out. It wasn’t the first time she’d faced these types of accusations. But it was the first time that she felt they were right. That they were justified.
Exhaustion seeped through her, down to her bones, as her persecutors continued their onslaught. She slowly faded out of consciousness, allowing the black void to consume her. But as she drifted off into sweet oblivion, she could have sworn she heard a quiet echo.
Don’t listen to them, Ahsoka. You’re stronger than this. Fight them.
Before she could identify the voice, she was gone. Her mind had been sucked into nothingness, and she welcomed the silence.
~*~*~*~
“You’ve lost quite a lot of blood, Lady Tano. If I hadn’t found you when I did, I fear you wouldn’t have made it off that ship alive.”
Ahsoka groaned as she tried to sit up. Her montrals rang with an echo that was no longer there. Her head pounded as if someone had taken a hammer to it. She blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the low levels of light that permeated the area.
“What?”
There was a sigh of exasperation somewhere to her left, and she put a hand to her forehead as she turned to look for the source of the voice. She noticed that her arms had been bandaged, and an uncomfortable pain shot through her shoulder as she moved. “Where am I?”
“Aboard my shuttle. Alive. And in one piece.”
The shadows spoke to her, and she narrowed her eyes to try and make out the form of who spoke. The voice sounded familiar.
It tsked her quietly. “I’d hate to think that I never at least made an impression on you, Lady Tano. Or, maybe you took one too many blaster shots to the head.”
There was only one person that deep voice could belong to. “Maul?”
“Obviously.”
Ahsoka sighed and tried to gather her bearings as she looked around. She found herself in a small shuttle, one that seemed barely big enough to house the two of them. She mentally took stock of her situation and quickly assessed that she had extensive injuries. She hissed when she tried to move her arm, pain shooting through her shoulder and down her back.
A quiet sigh came from him and he moved to help her. “You took quite the beating.”
“Obviously,” she said, snapping a glare in his direction. He chuckled.
“At least you haven’t lost your spirit.”
Ahsoka appraised him silently as he carefully helped her stand and orient herself. “How long…” Maul raised an eyebrow marking at her, and she shakily finished her sentence. “How long was I out of it?”
He looked thoughtful for a moment as his eyes softened. “Four days.”
Her eyes widened and her mind started to throw itself into a panic. Realizing what was about to happen, Maul set a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Take a deep breath, Lady Tano. You’re safe.”
She did as he asked, squeezing her eyes shut as she did. She couldn’t afford to lose control. Not now. And not in front of Maul.
“I know this is hard,” he said softly. “You can take the time to grieve. Nothing is going to happen to you while you are in my care.”
Ahsoka looked at him with suspicion and curiosity. Why was he being kind?
As if reading her mind, he scoffed. “If I wanted to kill you, Lady Tano, I would have left you on that ship.”
~*~*~*~
Ahsoka slowly and warily opened her eyes, unsure of where she was going to find herself. But when she saw the metal grate of the floor of her ship, she let out a quiet sigh of relief. She pulled herself into a sitting position and eventually struggled to her feet. She looked at herself in the mirror, and she hardly recognized the person staring back at her.
Her face had thinned considerably. Probably because she hadn’t been taking the best care of herself. Despite her efforts, she somehow managed to stay alive. And her body was beginning to pay the price.
With a sigh, Ahsoka scrubbed a hand down her face and turned on the water. She dried her face with a towel before making her way back to her small quarters. The ship she was piloting, the Proxima, was big enough to carry her, another passenger, and some cargo. It wasn’t the fanciest vessel in the world by any means, but it did its job and got her across the galaxy. She had managed to send off a few secure subspace transmissions to Obi Wan, who she recently discovered was still alive. She’d tried to track him down, but he was good at not being found when he didn’t want to be. Ahsoka supposed that’s probably what kept him under the Empire’s radar for so long.
He had assured her that he was okay and offered his condolences when she told him that Anakin was dead. They managed to say their goodbyes properly and went their separate ways.
Ahsoka rummaged through her small storage bin, looking for some clothes that she hadn’t worn for weeks on end. She was running out of motivation to do anything, and that included her laundry.
When her comm link beeped a couple times, she paused, frowning for a moment as she looked at her wrist. Whatever the message was, it wasn’t fully translating on the portable link. She abandoned her search for clean clothes as she made her way to the cockpit. She dropped into the pilot’s chair and tapped a few buttons, waiting for the program to run the decryption and translation.
A few moments later, and a hologram of a woman appeared in front of her. She raised an eyebrow marking as she recognized her face.
“Jhas?” she muttered, frowning at the image.
“I know you might not get this for a while, Fulcrum. But I have some intel you might be interested.”
Part of the message glitched out after that, but Ahsoka widened her eyes and had to rewind it a couple times to make sure she hadn’t misheard anything.
“Come to Dantooine. There’s a small group of us here, and we need your help. Oh, and that intel? It’s about Maul.”
She sat back in her seat with a thud, eyes wide with shock.
She’d played it three times, and she knew she wasn’t hearing things.
Maul.
Maul is alive.
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 4 years ago
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The Unforgiven: Part I
Summary: After Order 66, everything was destroyed. The Empire left death and destruction in its wake. But one choice could change everything forever. The question is…is it the right one? Maul x Ahsoka 18+ For Eventual Chapters Warnings: Nonexplicit sexual content, slow burn, PTSD TW, inappropriate use of the force Collab fic with @wasted-headspace-98
Ash.
Blaster fire.
Smoke.
Her vision was hazy as the saber hummed to life by her side. The ship was in shambles. Her montrals vibrated with the explosions that shook the metal beneath her feet. She wasn’t sure how she had survived this long. She’d lost track of Rex a long time ago and had been left to fend for herself. But she couldn’t worry about that now. She’d sent Maul off to cause a distraction. And it appeared that he’d done his job well.
“Drop your weapon, Tano!”
Keep reading
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 4 years ago
Text
Unforgiven: Part IV
Summary: After Order 66, everything was destroyed. The Empire left death and destruction in its wake. But one choice could change everything forever. The question is…is it the right one? Maul x Ahsoka 18+ For Eventual Chapters Warnings: Nonexplicit sexual content, slow burn, PTSD TW, inappropriate use of the force Collab fic with @lordofthenerds97
NO TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY FOR THIS CHAPTER
The stench was overwhelming. An array of insects made the Canals their home. The stagnant water was a welcoming and inviting environment for them. Brown and putrid liquid seemed to attract all kinds of unwanted company.
Mekkos couldn’t stand it. She wrinkled her nose as she stepped around a puddle that had someone found it’s way onto the bridge. A sneer raised her upper lip and her pointed teeth shone against the sunlight. “I can’t wait to get off this Force forsaken planet,” she mumbled to herself. The Twi’lek had been through too much in her lifetime. She wanted to draw the line at the ruined planet which she found herself on, but the pay was too good.
A holodisk was tucked safely into one of the hidden compartment on her pants, which she would periodically tap to confirm it was still there. Mekkos had killed a lot of men for that information.
As she approached the Merchant’s Bridge, she began having to weave her way through a swarm of people. She had made sure to put her valuables in a safe place before heading back. The Bridge had no shortage of pickpockets and thieves.
“Where are you?”
Had she not been expecting the callous voice to ring in her ears, it would have sent her heart racing.
“Be patient,” she snapped back. “I’m planetside. Heading to the Bridge now.”
A deep rumble bounced around her eardrums, making her shiver slightly. “Good. You’re late as it is.”
The Twi’lek sneered again at the insult before tapping her finger to the comm that was tucked into the small opening behind her ear dome. She had enough to worry about without trying to keep him happy.
She wound her way through the extremely overcrowded market and down a few hidden streets. The heat felt like it was soaking into her bones, making her cringe every time she felt the sweat drip down her back. It was infuriating.
“Why did he have to choose this of all planets?” she grumbled to herself. Regardless, she was getting paid. She could complain all she wanted, but it wasn’t going to get her anywhere. If anything, it would reduce her payment amount.
She wasn’t extremely well versed in the culture of Thune. But she knew it was a cesspool of thieves and beggars. The perfect place to hide if one wanted to stay off the Empire’s radar. Which was exactly what they were trying to do.
The Empire was not the galactic paradise that they had promised. And there were a lot of people trying to keep hidden. She couldn’t blame them, really. She knew what their harsh treatments could do to someone. She’d experienced it first hand.
She felt a stab of pity for the people that were making the Outer Rim and Wild Space their home. Mekkos had abandoned what she knew as her home a long time ago, when she was barely more than a child herself. But when she saw families…that was something else entirely.
It was true that she was known to be a ruthless killer. It was a reputation that she took pride in. But even she wasn’t a monster. She knew when to show mercy and when to withhold it.
But the Emperor? Sidious was the true definition of evil. And she would do anything within her power to stop it.
At the moment, that meant finding herself in the certain predicament she was in. She was a part of the plan to destroy the Empire and Sidious. There were many grudges held against the Sith Lord. Hers, however, was a personal vendetta.
And that son of a bitch was going to pay for what he did.
All in good time, she reminded herself.
Slipping out of the dank alleys and away from the stagnant stench of the canals., Mekkos breathed in a quiet sigh of relief. Her sanctuary was just a few hundred yards in front of her.
The Garbis Mansion.
It was the one place she could allow herself to relax slightly on this hellhole of a planet. Everyone in the city knew the abandoned mansion was off limits. There were rumors flying around about the kind go people that inhabited the mansion now. For the most part, the rumors kept the curious souls away. If the rumors didn’t, then the appearance of the mansion did.
It was eerie and quiet. Broken stone and clay showed off the holes that contained sharpened spikes to keep intruders away. But Mekkos had gotten past the appearance a long time ago. After all, she knew what it held on the inside. Her employer was rich. That much she knew. She hadn’t seen him face to face before, so she didn’t know exactly who he was. But she knew he had deep connections.
There were errands he would send her on that confused her. She never knew what exactly they were for. He was keeping tabs on a few groups of Rebels, including one on Dantooine. He seemed overly fascinated with them. It was a puzzle she couldn’t piece together. She didn’t like it when she couldn’t figure something out.
Putting the thought of out her mind, she stepped into the mansion. Her boots made no sound on the stone as she walked into the foyer. It was as dark and dank as ever, but she knew what lie behind a hidden door. Mekkos moved towards the wall and placed her palm flat on a stone. It took a few seconds, but there was a quiet click and a hiss as a part of the wall sunk in and opened to reveal the true interior.
The hallway was lined with gentle light, the yellow glow flickering every few seconds. The false flames made Mekkos roll her eyes. One thing she knew for sure was that he loved theatrics. He had a flair for the dramatic, and he definitely knew how to get someone’s attention.
She walked down the corridor, headed for the office where she normally left all the files and information that she had gathered for him. It was a fairly plain room, containing a desk, a holoscreen, and a few files.
What caught her attention though, was a quiet rustle coming from the normally silent room.
She drew her blaster frothier hip quietly, her finger hovering over the trigger. She waited for a moment, trying to discern if what she was hearing was a person or a small animal.
But when she heard the sigh of frustration, she got her answer.
Mekkos jumped into action, her movements precise and deadly. She kicked the door open and effectively stormed the castle as it were. She was surprised to find someone sitting in the chair behind the desk, his boots resting on the wooden top. He was shrouded in shadow, but she could make out the majority of his silhouette.
“How the hell did you get in here? And who the hell are you?” she snapped.
The stranger scoffed. It wasn’t a sound that normally bothered the bounty hunter. But there was something…a tone in this man’s voice, that made her shiver. Two golden eyes glowed from the shadows and flashed in annoyance. “Really, Mek, for someone so smart, you’re quite slow.” The voice was deep and commanded attention. It made Mekkos nervous. There was something that made the proverbial hair on the back of her neck stand up. Something was off about this man. She just couldn’t put her finger on it.
She narrowed her eyes. “Excuse me?” She tried to put on a brave face, but the small quiver in her voice gave her away.
The man sighed and stood up, his boots thudding on the floor with a loud clank. Mekkos swallowed hard but held her ground, her blaster level with the man’s chest. “That’s far enough,” she hissed.
He stepped forward, the light from the torch behind her bathing him in a warm glow. Her eyes widened when she realized who she was seeing. The horns surrounded his head like a broken crown. The black ink on his red skin were intricate and likely held a deep meaning for him, much like her own. But the most piercing feature was his eyes. They were gold and glowing, rimmed with orange and flecks of red. It felt like they were piercing into her soul.
And she knew immediately who it was.
“Lord Maul?”
He hummed quietly and clasped his hands behind her back. “You’re catching on.”
She bared her teeth at him, the sharp weapons glinting. She was terrified, but she was determined not to show it. “Watch yourself,”
Maul scoffed. “Don’t insult me by trying to threaten me, child.” he said. His eyes narrowed as he examined her closely. After a moment, his stance relaxed slightly. But Mekkos couldn’t be more on edge. “I think it’s time you understand what exactly it is you’re doing here.”
That threw her for a loop. “What?” she asked with a frown, lowering her blaster.
He rolled his eyes and sighed at her. “You couldn’t possibly believe that I’m simply having you run meaningless errands for me, Mekkos. You have a greater purpose than that.”
Mek still wasn’t sure if she believed it or not. It was rumored that Maul had been killed when the last Republic ship went crashing down. Ahsoka Tano had been thought to have been killed in that explosion as well. But Mekkos knew better.
Maul was getting impatient and huffed at her. “If you’re going to shoot me, you may as well do it now. I’d rather not waste any more time than we already have.”
He turned and headed for the door, leaving him exposed to her blaster. She knew he could kill her if he wanted to, but she was still standing. He needed her for something.
Cautiously, she tucked the blaster back into the holster on her thigh and followed him out of the office. He walked with his hands clasped behind his back. He didn’t pay her any mind as they walked deeper into the abandoned mansion.
Well, it wasn’t so abandoned anymore.
Despite having spent the majority of her time in the mansion, she hadn’t taken the opportunity to explore. If she were being honest, it sent a chill down her spine. She couldn’t put her finger on the problem exactly, but it gave her a bad feeling.
Being a bounty hunter, she spent the majority of her time in unsavory places. She was used to the feeling of being watched. But this was something different, something more threatening.
“You brought the information I asked for, I assume?” he asked.
“Yes,” Mek responded, still finding herself looking around the dark hallway. He hummed quietly, not offering anything else to keep a conversation. The dark hallway seemed to come to a dead end when Maul held his hand out, waving it slightly. Mek watched in curiosity as an entire part of the solid wall separated from the rest and sank in before sliding to the side.
Sensing her curiosity, Maul spared her a glance. “It’s a security precaution,” he explained. “Only a Force user can open the door.”
She nodded once, not daring to say anything. Maul stepped forward into the dark room, and Mekkos followed him. She found a winding staircase that led deeper into the mansion. A few steps in, Maul turned around and sealed the door. Mek froze, completely encompassed in darkness. She had no sense of direction and it concerned her.
“I can sense your fear, Mekkos.” Maul said. “There’s no need to worry.”
His voice echoed off the stone walls, and she couldn’t tell where his voice was coming from. It was as if her body locked up, keeping her in place. All of her senses were on high alert, looking for the danger she was sure was there.
A few seconds later, there was a dim glow that began to light the pathway below them. Her eyes flicked down toward the light. She was surprised so see the wall beside the stairwell lifting up. She looked towards Maul, who had closed his eyes and was focusing intently on his task. She watched as the wall continued to lift until they were both bathed in light.
“Neat trick,” she blurted out.
He looked at her and chuckled. “Even the most experienced Force user is disoriented in the right circumstances. This is designed to throw their senses into confusion.”
Mek looked around briefly before nodding. “It’s a useful tactic,” she said. “I can see how it would unsettle someone.”
He hummed and nodded his approval. “Come with me, Mekkos.”
The pair continued down the starway until they reached a level floor. It opened up into a large room that contained several computers, disassembled droids, several parts of saber hilts, and some other miscellaneous items. In the center of the room was a large work desk. Maul made his way over to the desk and tapped it, lighting up the screen. “Bring me the disk.”
Mekkos did as she was asked, digging the small stick out of her hidden pocket. She looked at it briefly before wordlessly handing it to Maul.
“Did you get everything?”
She nodded slowly. “I believe so. There wasn’t much in their system. But I got everything that was there.”
“Good,” he growled quietly. He put the information disk into the port and a hologram popped up in front of him. He crossed his arms as a symbol with two circles, the bottom half being inverted, spun slowly in the air as the files loaded. “You haven’t asked many questions, Mekkos. Why is that?” Maul asked, turning to her with a curious gaze.
The bounty hunter cocked her head to the side slightly. “You said you were working to destroy the Empire. We have a common goal,” she said with a shrug. “As long as I’m fighting Sidious, then I don’t care what you have me do.”
The black mark where his eyebrow would have been arched upward. “So you know of his true nature.”
Mekkos crossed her arms. “Yes. I was undercover on Coruscant when Palpatine showed who he really is. There was a bounty on one of the senators, and I was doing my research.”
Maul hummed quietly. “How did you figure it out?”
She shrugged. “I met Anakin a few times while I was playing my part. It was usually after a Senate meeting. And the way he talked about Palpatine made it seem like there was more to the man than met the eye. So I did some research on him as well. I saw when Anakin and Palpatine turned on Master Windu. He was a powerful Jedi, but he was no match for two Sith Lords.”
The Zabrak sneered. “That youngling was no Sith Lord,” he snapped. “He barely found his footing with the Dark Side. Dare I say he was barely a Jedi.”
Mekkos frowned. “He might have been unorthodox. But from what I saw and the battles I studied, he had an inclination to the Dark Side for a long time. All he needed was the right push. And Palpatine gave it to him.”
Maul pursed his lips. “Perhaps. What do you know of Sidious?”
“Honestly? Not much. He’s kept that side of himself hidden for so long. I don’t believe even he knows who he truly is.”
Maul hummed and turned his attention back to the holograms in front of him, putting an end to the conversation.
“Who are they?” Mekkos asked with a frown.
“Assets. People of value in the war to come.”
Mek narrowed her eyes. She recognized some of them. “Dryden Vos?”
Maul nodded. “Have you heard of a syndicate called Crimson Dawn?”
She turned to him with a look of surprise. “I’m assuming you’re the one who runs it?”
“Away from prying eyes, of course. For this to work as well as it has been, I need someone more public than I. And Dryden Vos happens to love being in the spotlight.”
Mek pursed her lips and tilted her head. “He stole my obsidian.”
Maul arched an eyebrow marking and looked at her. “Excuse me?”
“On Yarvin 4,” she explained. “I was there hunting a bounty that snuck into a temple. I found myself a nice little chunk of Obsidian and took it as a souvenir along with the bounty. Turns out, running into Dryden was one of the more fortunate experiences I had on the planet.” Mekkos suddenly looked unhappy and uncomfortable. “I came across a Force being.”
That seemed to capture Maul’s interest. “Really?” he asked. “Fascinating.”
It sent a shiver down her spine just thinking about it. “Exar Kun.”
“A truly impressive show of power. I’ve studied his beliefs and practices. He achieved what few Sith before him had.”
Mekkos rolled her shoulders, trying to dispel the comfort that seeped into her at the memory. “As one who isn’t Force sensitive, you can see why I preferred Dryden.”
Maul appraised her silently for a moment. Perhaps I underestimated her, he thought to himself. If she truly came across Exar Kun, she may be more valuable than I had originally thought.
He turned his attention back to the holograms in front of him. “I had you gather more information on people who would be of value to me. Qi’ra is an interesting woman. Voss recruited her. I believe she is his lieutenant.” Mek crossed her arms and listened as he talked. There was something about it that was mesmerizing. “Rook is my personal favorite,” he said. “She’s a loyal woman and is skilled in many forms of combat. She is undoubtedly my best asset.”
Mek tried to make sense of what he was asking her to do. She fit a few pieces of the puzzle together, but she was missing a large portion of the picture. “What exactly is it that you want from me?” she asked with a frown.
Maul turned to her again. “I need you to keep an eye on them. I may value them, but that does not mean I trust them. I want you to make sure their performance is…adequate.”
Mekkos started to say something, but something else caught Maul’s attention. Deep in his consciousness, he felt a tug. Everything else but that feeling faded to black. He allowed himself to be pulled backwards, his mind following the unbidden call. His eyes roved through the Force, looking for what had tugged at him.
A torrent of emotions ripped through him.
Pain.
Anger.
Hate.
Rage.
Fear.
Those emotions weren’t his. His eyes narrowed as he honed in on what was causing such a ripple in the delicate balance of the Force. Light was fading into Dark and Dark was brightening into the Light.
They weren’t just my friends! They were my brothers! Obi Wan might have known war. But I lived it! I was born into it and raised to fight. Anakin, I was fourteen when I became your Padawan! I was three years old when I started training as a Jedi. Normal children grow up learning language and history. I grew up learning saber techniques and how to kill a droid.
The sheer pain in her voice was undeniable. It was so powerful that it almost knocked Maul backwards.
Ahsoka? He thought. He could feel her.
Within the Force, he reached out to her. He allowed his energy to search for hers. He could feel it buried deep in the Force. She was trying to conceal it. But try as she might, she couldn’t hide. Not from him.
Never from him.
He saw her blue eyes light up the darkness around them. They were wide and filled with fear.
“Ahsoka!”
As soon as she felt him, she disappeared.
Suddenly being ripped out of the connection with the Force, Maul stumbled forward with a grunt.
Mekkos let out a quiet yelp and jumped out of the way as he reached for the desk. His breathing was suddenly heavy, and she was more than confused. A moment ago he seemed to be listening intently. Then, as if something in his head snapped, he appeared to be in a deep trance. And whatever trance he’d been in was suddenly ripped away.
“She’s alive.”
“I’m sorry?”
Maul turned to her. “I have a new Bounty for you, Mekkos.”
She crossed her arms. The man seemed to change his mind on a dime. But if he was paying her, who was she to ask questions? “Does this bounty have a name?”
“Ahsoka Tano.”
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 4 years ago
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Here With Me
Part 1 of ?
Warnings: implied abusive relationship, angst
Eijirou looked over at his best friend, the corners of his mouth pulled down out of the usual cheerful expression, tears welling and threatening to spill. He couldn't take seeing him like this. Katsuki Bakugou was miserable, drinking heavily, speech slurred, brows seemingly permanently in that furrowed frown.
"Hey," Kirishima sniffled and plastered a smile on his face, "why don't you stay at my place tonight, it's closer and we've had a long day." He offered.
Bakugou shook his head. "Nah, I gotta get back. 'sides, don't wanna put you out."
Kirishima squeezed his friend's shoulder. "Don't worry about that, I know how hard days like this are on you."
"Don't, Ei." Bakugou's watery garnet gaze met Eijirou's ruby one. "I can't go to your place."
Kirishima frowned, but dropped it. There was no arguing with the stubborn Bakugou. Still, it hurt to see him keep hurting himself like this. Eijirou used to look forward to fan meet and greets with Bakugou, but since he'd started dating his girlfriend Katsuki had been . . . unhappy.
She was rude, demanding, and she treated Bakugou like complete crap. She was supposedly a fan of his, they'd even met at a fan meet up, but as soon as Bakugou started his relationship with her she changed. Or maybe she was always like that, but it was harder to notice in the din of the other screaming fans. At first Kirishima had been happy for his friend, but she expected Bakugou to be Dynamight all the time. It was like she liked the way he looked and the fame he represented more than she actually liked him. His wants and needs were always pushed to the back burner, but Bakugou wouldn't leave her because he didn't want to fail. What's worse is that these meet ups and work were the only times that Kirishima got to spend time with his best friend because she didn't like them spending time alone together, so he barely got to talk to Katsuki anymore.
"At least let me walk you home, you've had a lot to drink."
"Fine." Bakugou grumbled.
Kirishima smiled genuinely and helped his friend to stand, then wrapped an arm around him when he wobbled. By the time he got Bakugou back to his apartment the blond was nearly sleepwalking. Eijirou helped him up the many flights of stairs and finally stopped in front of his door, fishing through Bakugou's pockets for his keys. The door swung open and Katsuki's girlfriend scowled at the pair of them.
Katsuki blinked at her and she grabbed him, pulling him inside and slamming the door in Kirishima's face before he could even say 'hello'. Eijirou sighed when he heard her shouting at him as he walked away.
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banshees-and-valkyries ¡ 4 years ago
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Dreaming Of You (Garfield Logan x Mute!Reader)
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Summary: 
Having a direct window into someone’s mind is not as fun as everyone thinks it might be. You see and hear things that you might not want to. Or things you want to see very, very badly. But in your case, the problem was a delicate mixture of both. 
Alternatively: 
The four times you accidentally use your powers to see Gar having a fantasy about you, and the one time you do it on purpose. 
Garfield Logan x Fem!Mute!Reader. Smut and Mild Fluff. Set during early Season 2.
Word Count: 18,100 
Warnings: somewhat graphic descriptions of vomit during the mid area of the fic because this is a chronically ill character and I wanted to be honest in my portrayal, mentions of violence (sparring between the characters, mentions of the canon-typical violence from the show), very breif mention of blood, mentions of Rachel having a crush on Gar but in this version it’s one sided, mentions of masturbation, abuse of Twinkies, family domesticity that’s almost too cute for a smut fic, hair pulling, mutual pining, mentions of some weird eating behaviour/some types of disordered eating but this reader character does not have an ED, many sexual fantasies, hair pulling, oral sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dirty talk (Gar has a surprisingly dirty mouth), penatrative sex, (no protection is used but please use some irl kids), marriage kink/commitment kink? If that’s a thing?, idiots in love, semi-public sex (it’s weird how this is the second fic I’ve written where two characters fuck in a semi-public place that just happens to have a camera/cameras in it. Like it’s weird how that happened twice), heavy praise, somewhat rough sex (in a loving way), the reader chatacter is mute but I made sure the consent comes off 100% clear
Masterlist 
AO3 Link 
A/N: This fic is set around the beginning of S2, during the time when Dick has reopened the Tower and is training the ‘New Titans’, so Dick, Rachel, Gar, Jason and the reader character are the only people living there; before the incident with Rose happens and he takes her in. For the record, I don’t really know anything about ASL. I don’t speak it, though it’s always something I’ve wanted to learn. I just really want to represent more disabled characters in my stories, and I thought this was a good opportunity to do so. I have experienced my fair share of horrible migraines, so all of those parts are written with the sincerity of my experience. While I was doing random research for this fic, I found out Gar’s character is intended to be 15 years old in the show. Which doesn’t sit right with me, because he’s played by a 20-something actor, and it’s not like one of those stupid high school shows like Riverdale where all the characters are teenagers being played by 20somethings; Gar and Rachel are drastically younger than the rest of the characters (because Jason Todd is supposed to be 19, and even thought he’s looped in with the “kids”, being college aged is a lot different than being fucked 14/15) and it just comes off as weird to me. Don’t even fucking get me started on how Conner is a literal fucking toddler in this show when in YJ he was a stern old man who just happened to come out of a glass tube. I think if they wanted a dynamic where Dick, Dawn, Hank, Donna and Kory are the “older” ones teaching the “younger ones” how to be heroes, they should have had the younger characters be like 18/19 at the youngest. So for all intents and purposes, the characters in this fic are at least 18 years old. 
Mind reading is most definitely not what people think it is. 
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