bappyland

[bappyland]

The dance beat pulsates.

The groove goes on and on.

Feel the magic. The passion

Yearn for me baby.

Make me feel deserved.

Yearn for me babe.

I’m the one you’ve earned,

The sad nostalgia of the 70s,

Courses through your veins.

[bappyland]

There was something in the darkness that brought out a more imaginative side of humanity. And where there’s imagination there’s power. And back before electric lighting, the supernatural animism hiding in the shadows could often manifest as real dangers.

The gods come alive at night. Emerging from the darkness they prey upon our darkest musings.

[bappyland]

It was a day like any other. And then something stopped.

Suddenly, everything in the world was somehow off. Not quite right. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was broken, but it was certainly noticeably different.

If you asked people on the street, they would tell you they felt it too. But also couldn’t quite put their finger on what had changed.

Unbeknownst to all of us at the time was to cold hard fact that nobody on earth was having sex. Not anywhere. For the first time since we emerged from the Savannah’s of Africa, no two humans anywhere were engaged in any kind of coupling. It was the beginning of the end. But a huge victory for prudish thugs worldwide.

[bappyland]

On July 28th, 2019, exactly forty-four bands were formed by middle aged men who called themselves Mid Life Crises. SixTeen of them were in California alone. Most of them ended up on nobody in particulars radar. One however, one was about to help change everything.

[bappyland]

As one colony gets going, a group of soldiers is only a couple generations behind, ready to reign in and destroy the human infestation.

[bappyland]

To an outside observer, it would seem that we humans secrete our consciousness. We call it art.

[bappyland]

Punk rock grandpa.

[bappyland]

Ginger ale and poutine. I’m living it up tonight. Hello happy hour. The weed helps too. In fact, I think they need to ban overage non highness. I make the stupidest decisions when I’m normal. High me would be much too scared to try.

[bappyland]

Ronnie said I smelled like band practice. I wonder if that’s anything like Otto’s jacket.

[bappyland]

Alcoholism was my cultural connection.

[bappyland]

I’m a mess of excess.

[bappyland]

“Hello is not a proper geetment.”

Kirk Hill

[bappyland]

There was that time when my higher power tried to take the wheel.

[bappyland]

If my wife had a split personality, I’d hit on her.

[bappyland]

I never cared much for the fantastic offers well-qualified lessees we’re getting. I knew I wasn’t a part of their audience.

But now I am. Does this mean I should be driving a new car? How about something electric? Or would that make me too much of a target for ignorant violence in the age of Trump? All questions. Answering them will result in longer articles. Doing so will take praxis.

[bappyland]

We finally made Contact. Their representative was on the way to earth. The journey would take another 35 years.

[bappyland]

I ordered a meal that wasn’t worthy of an Instagram.

It was perfect.