barbieklausbombshell

[barbieklausbombshell]

archiving announcement;

okay, so i've decided to officially archive this blog and begin a new one. i feel like i really need a fresh start and i really need to try to clear my head of all the bad stuff. 

i would like to keep all threads which i have with people, as well as verses, as long as my roleplaying partners would like that.

if you want to follow my new blog, it's here and i will also be queueing several self-promo's to be posted on this blog for a while.

[barbieklausbombshell]

okay, i'm gonna head to bed now cuz ew drama exam tomorrow.

i'm pretty sure i'm going to archive this blog and start a new one, but i'm not completely sure. i'll sleep on it and decide tomorrow

night guys <3 

[barbieklausbombshell]

click on your tumblr settings and prepare to have trust issues

[barbieklausbombshell]

hazel-wolfpup said: *hugs* Sorry you feel that way. If you ever want to plot, I’d be more than happy too. Do what you feel is best because you should be happy here! Finding more people to plot with can sometimes help. You’re a great Rebekah! <3

-huggles- thank you so, so much, sweetie <3 i'm really just trying to figure out what i feel is best because i haven't really got a clue at the moment

and i would absolutely love to plot with you :3

[barbieklausbombshell]

Based on my writing, how old would you THINK I was?

[barbieklausbombshell]

ugh, i don't know what to do anymore. i feel so sad about indie rping at the moment. i feel like i don't have a place anymore and i don't have anyone who really wants to rp with me. i have threads with people but i just feel like i never seem to be able to find a lot of people who do want to rp with me. i find myself becoming closer and closer to simply going on a permanent hiatus.

i've had this blog for a year and i've been through stages like these. stages in which i feel shitty, but they've only lasted a short while. this has been going on for ages. whenever i go to my dash, i see people with tons of roleplays and tons of amazing roleplaying partners. i see people who get asked to do plots and who get asked to do things they'd love to do. i see people roleplaying. i feel like i don't have much of that. what i have at the moment is a few threads with no really consistent rp partners. rp's seem to get dropped constantly and i don't know if it's me, but i seem to lose rp partners and i don't get them back.

i used to feel like i had a place in the indie rping community. i used to feel so happy to come onto this blog and check my notes and finish drafts. nowadays, i come online and check my activity and it never tells me i have new notes. it was this way before my semi-hiatus, too. it makes me feel so terrible because i wonder what i've done wrong. it makes me wonder why people don't seem to like me. i've been told it's because 'i'm good and people are afraid to talk to me', but i can't imagine everyone being afraid. i miss the days when i would rp with people from different fandoms and i would rp new things and each new prospect would be so exciting. i hardly ever get new opportunities on this blog anymore.  

i really don't know what to do at the moment. i find myself coming constantly closer and closer to simply putting this blog on a permanent hiatus and leaving rping as rebekah behind for good. i don't want to do that. i've had this blog for a year and i have a huge emotional attachment to it and the people i've roleplayed with and the threads we've had. i miss old threads that were never finished. i miss people i used to roleplay with. and i don't want to become someone that people miss after i've left this blog behind. i don't want to do that to people and i don't want to let myself down after i've promised myself to not leave this blog for a very long time. i hate that this is happening and i can't see this as a phase right now.  

part of me thinks that maybe archiving and moving to a new blog would help, but i'm afraid the same thing will happen again.

i find myself logging on to this blog less and less these days and i can't see that changing anytime soon because it makes me too sad. i'm not sure what i'm going to do to move forwards from this. i desperately want to move on from this and feel the way i used to, but i have no idea how. i'm sorry if the hiatus disappoints anyone or if anyone's sad that i'm so sad (though i highly doubt anyone is, or that this will even be read)

and i'm rambling and not making sense anymore, so i'm going to stop. i just needed to let it all out because i hate feeling this way and i really want to feel better, i'm just not sure how to do that. 

[barbieklausbombshell]

i just want to rp new types of things with new people and new fandoms and talk to new people and i want to do new things but no one ever seems to want to rp with me and grr

[barbieklausbombshell]

           She didn't have time for this. She didn't have any time at all to stand around having idol chit chat with a random boy in the woods. What she needed to do was get away from the hybrids which were coming after her and she needed to do so fast. An eyebrow arched as he pulled a twig from his shirt.

                         A small groan of annoyance left her lips as he began talking. "Did it not cross your mind that perhaps I was running for a reason? A reason which, honestly, I need to get away from? And maybe your irritation at a tiny fall is only prolonging me from getting away?" The sound of a wolf's howl in the distance alarmed Rebekah, causing her eyes to widen and her heart beat to quicken. Noticing the weapons around the male, she grabbed his rucksack in hope of there being more inside and began to run quickly. Getting away from the hybrids was her main priority, so she didn't really think to wonder as to why the boy had weapons and what stealing them would lead to. Pissing off more people was something she really couldn't afford right now. But with the adrenaline came impulse and that was what she was allowing to rule her actions. 

Strength in Pain | Rebekah & Jeremy

[barbieklausbombshell]

so i come back to this blog after a few days and the first thing i get is an ask in my inbox, trying to involve me in drama because apparently the anon assumes i like to do that '-_-

[barbieklausbombshell]

"You narcissistic, backstabbing wanker!”

[barbieklausbombshell]

"I shouldn’t have returned here. This is where I fell in love."