bardnuts

[bardnuts]

For full disclosure I'm also suffering from what I believe may be autistic burnout, so I haven't had hardly any energy to write the past couple of weeks. I'm sorry this next chapter is taking so long. I also wish it was done by now 😭

I'M WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER I PROMMY

[bardnuts]

when bilbo first gave frodo this pearlescent bralette he was being shady because he thought the top would be wearing him. it's like giving your kid sister louboutins when she can't even walk in block heels.

so you know the girls were gagging here

[bardnuts]

I'M WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER I PROMMY

[bardnuts]

[bardnuts]

please don’t take it away from me

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[bardnuts]

whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight

[bardnuts]

[bardnuts]

hey um. so sorry to tell you this, but op of that post plays toys kinda weird. yeah you should just block them, that's not how normal people play with toys

[bardnuts]

There is a word I’m not allowed to use. I love it. I love it so much. But my darling beloved wife hates it with a fiery passion.

I came across it from Anne Lister’s diary, where she says that she would “grubble under women’s skirts” and honestly. The word perfectly encapsulates the fumbling feeling of fighting your way through layers of fabric to reach the promised pussy land.

However the word has been forbidden, reviled from the first moment my beloved heard it. They shuddered and it’s truly one of the only restrictions they’ve ever placed on my vocabulary so I don’t say it. But I do think it, on occasion.

Sometimes the word will pop into my head and I will think it too hard and my wife will turn and glare at me and accuse, “I know you’re thinking it!”

“But I didn’t say it!” I protest. But they’re always right. Even with no context they always know when I’m thinking it.

Today I told my wife, “I shared the unmentionable word with Astrid today and she quite enjoyed it. She repeated it several times.”

They bellowed liked a dying wildebeest and said, “I can go months without remembering that word exists and then it comes up again. It’s so disgusting, it’s what Sméagol would do on the ground digging for worms!”

I was laughing and protested, “It sounds like fighting through skirts, the groping around.”

“No! That is something that happens in the muck and the filth. It’s negative sexy.

“Bet you're gonna take to Tumblr and share it and some people are gonna be like, ‘Oh what a great word! We should definitely use that in our lexicon. Top tier word!’ And you know what? THEYRE WRONG. GARBAGE WORD. GROSS.”

I listened to their impassioned hatred while cuddled in their arms and radiated love at them and remorse for having reminded them about the existence of grubbling. But now you get to hear about it. As a treat.

[bardnuts]

This may be the worst use of LLMs anyone has attempted, ever. Up there with recognizing mushrooms.

[bardnuts]

next dynamic were sexualizing is that of a bull and a toreador

[bardnuts]

Guy who has bad executive functioning: there's just something so erotic about symbiosis, depending on someone else, sharing responsibilities, not having to think about your schedule...

[bardnuts]

After three months of labor-conducive love, my silkscreen book is complete! 

Based off of the video game ANATOMY, it tells the story of what it really means to live in a haunted house

This game has some of the best writing and one of the most original ideas I’ve seen in a while, so please, take a look!

[bardnuts]

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

[bardnuts]

Part 7, after a nice two weeks in Waterdeep for their honeymoon, Lump seems to have one last surprise in store for Durge... 🧐 (I'm back to posting parts for this silly comic, I love them 🥰)

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