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legitimately my first feminist awakening as a ten year old child was realizing that girls were expected to respect “boy stuff” but boys were never expected to respect “girl stuff”

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Everyone in Disabled Tyrants Beloved Pet Fish is buck wild and I don’t think any of them have ever encountered a fish before

Like, what do you mean your fish likes to “go on walks” so you left bowls of water around your room

*Fish changes its colors completely*

“Ah yes this means it is turning into a koi and this is definitely normal”

Also the Prince pets his fish regularly??

The fish sleeps with a leaf blanket

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me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat

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Dick, walking into the room with a pen and paper: hey Jay real quick, if I die what do you wanna get in my will?

Jason, not looking up from his phone: xbox and those daggers Wonder Woman gave you a couple years back

Dick: got it

Tim:

Damian:

Tim: why are you writing a will

Damian: what do you mean ‘if’

Dick, to Tim: because I could die any day, I fight people for a hobby

Dick, to Damian: and because death apparently doesn’t always stick

Jason, still not looking up from his phone: also that hoodie of yours I like to steal. actually all your hoodies

Dick: sure

Tim: I feel like you should find this more disturbing

Jason: meh

Damian, thinking intently:

Damian: Todd, you have many league of assassins weapons. I would like those in the case that you die. permanently, that is.

Jason: I dont have a will

Jason:

Jason: should I have a will?

Tim:

Dick: you can share mine if you want littlewing?

Jason: sick, thanks. write down Damian gets my swords and Alfred gets my kitchen

Tim: neither of you know how wills work

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Damian grew up listening to Jason telling stories of his time with Bruce, and being the competitive little shit that he is decides he has to one up the guy once he gets to Gotham. this leads to him waiting until the perfect opportunity and proceeding to steal the tires off not just the batmobile, but all the vehicles in the cave. he pulls it off perfectly and he’s incredibly proud of it UP UNTIL Dick and Tim start panicking that Jason Todd’s vengeful ghost is clearly haunting the cave and is clearly agitated at Damian being the new Robin- after all, he only started fucking with things after Damian took the mantle, so he must have disapproved, right?

after two weeks he has to call Jason, scuffing his feet on the ground and gritting his teeth as he explains the situation.

“….what.”

directing his glare to the ceiling, Damian stubbornly repeats, “Grayson and Drake will no longer let me in the cave. they believe that your ghost is angry with me and are afraid you will become agitated by my presence there.”

“…” he waited impatiently for Jason’s response. “well how the fuck did you manage that?”

“your brothers are imbeciles.”

“first of all i’ve not even seen Tim since he got taken in, i met him like once when i was thirteen at a gala when we took turns trying to throw olives into an old lady’s handbag from the balcony above, he is more your brother than mine,” Damian rolled his eyes, tapping his foot and peeking out from behind the curtain he was hiding behind to call from, ensuring Alfred wasn’t nearby. “second of all why the fuck would they immediately assume i want you gone? didn’t they wonder why i didn’t start haunting the cave when the replacement took my mantle?”

“you’re acting like there should be logic behind any of this. i stole some tires and now they think your spirit wants me dead.”

“just tell them you took the tires.”

“but then i’d be caught and my mission would be a technical failure.”

“sucks to suck.”

Jason was not much help.

he was even less help when he came to Gotham and, in between establishing himself as an anonymous crime lord in Crime Alley, starts fucking breaking into the batcave to move shit about and leave threatening messages claiming that ‘the ghost of Robin is displeased with Damian’

Damian is this fucking close to just revealing Red Hood’s identity. on the plus side Tim is having the ego boost of his life learning that his successor’s ghost was ok with his Robin but not Damian’s. he’s been on a permanent high for the past month and it’s not going down any time soon.

Bruce is just sick of Dick sobbing through seance attempts while he’s trying to work at the batcomputer.

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i need more hero worship between tim and jason. tim thinking that jason’s entire deal is just so fucking cool. like he was robin, he died, came back to life, got dunked in the lazarus pit and learned to control the pit rage, got magic swords, and is now a scary ass legendary crime lord that runs crime alley and protects all of its people WHILE consistently pissing bruce off every night. tim thinks jason is AWESOME, and he cannot beLIEVE that he gets to hang out with him.

jason on the other hand has no idea tim thinks he’s cool. jason considers himself to be a violent nerd, the ‘dumber’ section of his and dick’s ‘dumb and dumber’ childhood duo. he’s an introverted asshole who actively beat this kid UP once, not to mention his only other experience with little brothers is fucking DAMIAN, who although the kid clearly loves and respects him in his own weird little way, would rather chew off his own hand than admit anything about jason was in any way cool. the idea that tim would look up to him? laughable. he has no idea why this kid keeps trying to follow him on patrol or come up with excuses to hang out together, and honestly the starry eyes he keeps getting from time to time kinda scare him. like what does that mean. why does he do that.

dick finds it fucking hysterical. he knows jason is tim’s personal hero and even better he knows full well that jason would literally never even consider tim respecting him as a possibility. he watches tim eagerly ask every batfamily meeting if ‘jason’s gonna come?’ and when jason arrives, jump around him during debriefs like a puppy trying to convince an old dog to come play, and jason is always just stood there with the most fucking confused look on his face-

eventually he cant take it and has to pull jason aside.

dick: he just looks up to you, man. give him a little attention!

jason: looks up to… me?

dick: yeah, you’re his hero

jason: two weeks ago i was drinking tea through a gap in the mouth section of the helmet and i watched you smack into a lamppost, and i laughed so hard that i snorted the tea out my nostrils and into the rest of the helmet and almost drowned myself.

dick:

jason: he was there for that dick. he saw it. and you think he considers me a hero?

dick: look i dont understand it either just let him tag along ok-

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Damian comes out to her maternal family as trans.

Ras: This is karma for insisting on a male heir isn’t it?

Mara, Talia, Nyssa, and Damian: Yes.

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Damian came out (not really but kinda)

[Still continuing on the trans dami arc, I'll make a post of the reactions to his twitter post soon🥰]

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You know what would be hilarious.

Trans Batman accidentally convincing Gotham that the batclan are like clownfish.

This is helped along when Red Hood comes onto the scene and is later also revealed to be a batclan member.

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Love the idea of transmasc Jason popping out of the Lazarus Pit and getting completely distracted from getting revenge or being mad at Bruce because HE HAS A PENIS NOW 🤩

Plus, he'd resigned himself to probably looking like a femboy twink after transitioning, so he is so so happy and excited to be this huge, muscled, hairy dude.

Talia: You died and were replaced!

Jason: Look, its got a foreskin and everything! 😃

Talia: ... You were dead.

Jason: It's free bottom surgery ❤️

Showing up at the Manor like -

Jason: Bru- stop screaming, it's just me- Bruce, Dick! I've got chest hair! 🥰

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I am looking for a very specific genre of cryptid Tim Drake fics, where he just doesn’t realise he never told anyone, or something like Cards on the table by Wesslan,

I will also accept trans Tim fics under the context of Tim just. Not realising he never told any of the batfam, or where he introduced himself confidently as a boy and no one questioned it ever

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WIPS I COULD REREAD OVER AND OVER AGAIN:

Wants and Needs (well, mostly wants): Chefs kiss, I am in love. Tim is so evil and so cute. Such long chapters that i totally love.

1-800-Gotham: SO MANY MISUNDERSTANDINGS!!!! All the bats want to adopt Jax and think Angel is evil.

Drake’s Spoiled Brat (I’m sorry Dad): As you can see I am a SLUT for Tim joining the batfamily late or early. This is also filled with identity shenanigans which are my favorite.

little menace: He’s such a cute little monster. Timmy is deaged to a vaguely evil toddler which is just awesome.

Double Trouble: CHAOS LORD TIM. Nothing else exists of this which is so disappointing as im in love now.

Jason Todd’s Guide on How to be Haunted with Minimal Stress: MWAH I AM KISSING THIS. I literally reread this the second i finished it. If it’s abandoned i will host a funeral. Dick, Tim, and Damian are sent back in time and Robin!Jason mistakes them as ghosts. They’re all surprised by what a sweet innocent child he is.

god turned human: Percy Jackson crossover. It only updates once a month which is so sadddd. I need to know where it’s going.

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Jason and Dick falling back into being brothers after Jason gets resurrected except both of them keep forgetting that although Dick is still older, Jason is now very much not a small little Robin anymore.

Dick, pointing to an ugly old guy on TV: that’s you

Jason, gesturing to a pug: that’s you

Dick: *flicks the side of Jason’s head*

Jason: do that again and i’ll smash your face in

Dick: bring it on, little wing!

Jason: *jokily shoves Dick off the couch*

Dick: *flies two feet and smashes through a glass table*

Tim and Damian watch Dick try and sneak up on Jason from behind to shove him in the pool but Jason doesn’t even budge, and they see Dick’s eyes widen in regret before he gets judo-flipped into the water. Jason tries to jump in after but forgets how big he is and manages to both land directly on Dick’s flailing body and cause a wave big enough to drench Alfred standing at the other edge. Damian turns dead eyes onto Tim,

Damian: promise me we’ll never be that immature.

Tim: we can learn from their stupidity

Alfred, dripping onto the tiles, Jason and Dick struggling in the background: please see that you do.

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Damian watches Tim get trolled in a roblox obby twice in a row by some random player and then proceed to track down who turns out to be a 13yr old through his IP address and then not only sends a falsified anonymous tip to his school principal that the kid’s dealing drugs, but digs up dirt on his parents until he can send proof to the kids mom that her husband’s having an affair so that Tim can make the kid a child of divorce. Damian watches all of this while sketching calmly from the other end of the couch and silently wonders how the fuck he managed to get away with trying to kill that guy without getting his own life ruined as consequence

as if sensing his thoughts, Tim glances over and casually points out, “look if i got revenge on YOU for attempted murder then i’d have to be fair and also get revenge on Jason, and to be honest I couldn’t be fucked with that. that guy got dunked in the pit and came back 99% spite, you saw what happened with Bruce. i start that war and it becomes my full time job; not happening.”

Jason’s reading on the armchair and he looks up, blinking twice. When Damian’s mystified gaze turns to him, he blankly states, “there’s a guy in my building who once said it was ‘brave of me to wear such a yellow shirt’ and i’ve been breaking into his apartment weekly to replace every article of clothing he owns with neon yellow versions for the past eleven months because of it.” Damian stares while Tim nods casually, not looking up from his ipad. Jason continues, “he knows it’s me, he just can’t prove it. he tries to hide new clothes from me. he never succeeds. his coworkers call him banana man.”

Damian takes this in before announcing to the room; “i no longer wish to be a part of the Wayne family.”

Bruce is walking past the open doorway and calls out tiredly as he goes, “why do you think Dick went to Bludhaven?”

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obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

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for some reason middle aged comic fans coming on the internet to defend their decision as to why they thought a twelve year old should have died or lived is so funny 😭😭😭

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"Do I look like him?"