basicallycaleb - Tumblr blog

[basicallycaleb]

OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON PLEASE DON'T HATE ME

[basicallycaleb]

Pipsqueak? You dare to speak to me in that way?

Okay pipsqueak, that is just grand.

[basicallycaleb]

If you two decide to do something, make sure you tell me. I might even have to indulge in a drink or two, if only to keep myself sane.

You know me so well. Mostly, I've been trying to hide from the little monster. She keeps following me around, asking for food.

I will— maybe I’ll find a way to get rid of them as well. I need to talk to Fi. Looks like someone needs a drink or two. 

Don’t apologize on her behalf, Caleb. Haven’t seen you in a while. Brooding in solitude?

[basicallycaleb]

I don't think it's a delicacy, considering you can get it on every corner in every country around the world.

Wouldn't you prefer real Italian food? Since we're here?

Yes, the flat crusted, tomato sauce and cheese topped Italian delicacy.

[basicallycaleb]

wait is this the thing we were talking about yesterday or a different thing

bc if you apologized for changing the background without telling me then didn't tell me about this you're a loser

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[basicallycaleb]

We'll get through this together, I promise. If worst comes to worst, you can use me as a punching bag so you won't get in trouble for harming the precious halflings.

Oh my God Caleb, I’m going to either explode or break down. If you do burn down this city, I will gladly help you. I thought that if I had you by my side, it’d be easy but this… I don’t know if I can be a goddamn nanny to these imbeciles. 

[basicallycaleb]

I told you, I'm training. You intruded on my space, so now you have to either put up with me or leave.

Aren’t you a fucking riot. Don’t you have some kid to steal candy from or something, Burke?

[basicallycaleb]

And I care nothing for your existence. We're even.

I care for nothing you’ve just said.

[basicallycaleb]

            -- Pizza.

Pizza. I want Pizza.

[basicallycaleb]

Oh? And why are you so confident?

No need. I’ve feeling i’ll make it out fine. 

[basicallycaleb]

[ his lip curls instinctively ] I'm so truly thrilled I signed up to be apart of this little experiment.

So what exactly is it that you need? I assume you came to find me for one reason or another.

Well, as the rules state, I can’t leave your side, so no.

[basicallycaleb]

Well? Spit it out, girl.

[basicallycaleb]

Your use of metaphor is poor, and leaves the audience with no lasting effect. Care to try again, or would you prefer to just get over yourself?

I still believe this is utterly ridiculous, a dark-blood, need I prove that I bleed the same colour as the rest of you?

[basicallycaleb]

None at all. Prepare yourself.

I take you’ll give no forewarning?

[basicallycaleb]

When you find a way to make babysitting demon spawn advantageous, please do tell me. I'll be in my suite, trying to quietly bash my brains in.

              -- She what? Lumena help me, I swear. I'm so sorry, Caira. 

We just—… We just need to find a way to make this advantageous for us. Also, one of your mutts actually had the nerve to tell me what to do— good luck refraining from using her as target practice.

[basicallycaleb]

If I say "no," will you go away?

Are you Caleb?

[basicallycaleb]

If I burn down the compound and go on a rampage through the city, the G.D.C. have no one to blame but themselves.