bastardtoadflax

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mutuals please do this to me

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James Duncan (1804-1861), Blatta Gigantea, Blatta Petiveriana and Harpax. From "Introduction to Entomology", 1840.

Source

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Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

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fairytales which tell you to be both kind and clever fairytales that say to be kind is to be clever and to be clever is to be kind fairytales that say the cleverest thing you can ever do is choose kindness and that cruelty or thoughtlessness are always foolish but not kindness never kindness

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so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

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Been corrupting my irl friends into the Good Bedding Club lately.

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[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

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Fight the power

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Higgledy-piggledy unparliamentary green parrots quarrel outside in the trees

Squawking out epithets uncomplimentary Squads of unmannerly Oversized peas.

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i do however have absurd leg to torso proportions so whenever my brother who's half a foot taller than me drives my car he's like "it's so funny i don't need to adjust the seat" bc i'm just 90% leg like a newborn horse so one thing i'm gonna do ☝️ is reach the pedals

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the princess and the pea.........

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Hm. Interesting. Apparently cortisol production depletes magnesium stores. And I have a lot of symptomatic overlap with magnesium deficiency. And it can apparently help migraine. And ADHD. I think I'm going to try supplementing magnesium glycinate. L-threonate sounds really interesting too as that's magnesium that can cross the blood-brain barrier and apparently is super useful for memory and shit.

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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i like to think that i got fired from my last liquor store job because they caught me on the security camera swinging the 1.75l bottle of willett pot still reserve bourbon like a baseball bat on a slow day

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I am happy because everyone loves me

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