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“And thank you for being the home I always need whenever I encounter a storm.”

grabe ang deep :((

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Before I fall in love again

1. I want us to be friends. Which means, I want to be able to eat my favourite cheese crust pizza with you, while having cheese all over my face and even in my hair, without feeling embarrassed or concerned about it.

I want to be comfortable with you, I want to be okay about being messy, irritating, embarrassing, disgusting, petty while with you. Because I will be petty when I see my ex best friend post a happy picture and I will be messy during my finals and I will be embarrassing when I meet your parents for I suck at meeting parents. I want to be okay with being the way I am and the only way to be okay is to know that you’re okay with me being things other than beautiful, graceful and composed at all times.

2. I want to be able to have long and passionate conversations with you about not just about existential beliefs but also about what went wrong in the ending of that book and how kids are affected by media and how tomato-basil combination always works. I want to have conversations where we may not always have the same views but our fundamental values always fall in place. I want to talk to you about the beauty of the stars but I also want to talk to you about the disgusting mentality behind certain societal norms.

3. I want to see how consistent your actions are with your words. I don’t want to fall for love letters or poems, for sweet Instagram captions or long birthday texts. I want to fall in love with you showing up on time and keeping your promises.

4. I want to take it slow. I want our story to work out in years, not months. I want to respect time and space this time.

5. I want to make sure I am not seeking love from you for the lack of love I have for myself. I want to make sure you aren’t a void I am filling in, you are not an alternative to the things I can’t give myself. I want to make sure you are not doing the same.

6. I want to work out with my insecurities and fears from the past. I don’t want to project them on you, I don’t want to subject you to the doubts, suspicion and anger I carry from the people I have known in the past.

7. Before I fall in love again, I want to make a mattress with you. Of understanding and respect and trust. So when we fall, it doesn’t hurt.

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10 Advices for myself : 1. Be kind. But not too kind. 2. If you feel you’ve been hurt, you’re hurt. Period. No one else is allowed to tell you how much you’re allowed to hurt. 3. Make the blame. But also take the blame. 4. People are gonna call you, “Crazy” and “Weird” and “Mad” for doing your own thing. Take the compliment. 5. Everyone’s first priority is their own selves. So put yourself first no matter what. 6. If you like that notebook, buy it. So what if you have more than enough empty pages back home? More the merrier. 7. Write. Draw. Sing. Dance. Act. Cry. Laugh. Curse. Do whatever the fuck you want. So long as it doesn’t affect them, no one has the right to complain against it. 8. The world is full of hypocrites. You may even find one in the mirror at times. But it’s alright. 9. Whatever you do, don’t put reins on your dreams. Dreams are the only highways with an infinite horizon that holds the impossible. 10. Laugh. Keep laughing. Happy is your best look.

beingjustlittlered, writing prompt #62: list 10 pieces of advice you’d give yourself (via wnq-writers)

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An appreciation post about my fellow Juniors

First time ito huehue. Kakaproud sadya ang Juniors, knowing na tayo yunb batch na sobrang shitty kapag nagkaroon ng inter year na contest pero ngayong intrams kakaproud natapos natin yung cheerdance (which is first time huehue) kahit sobrang sakit ng katawan natin after worth it naman. Bagos slay yung results ng Bball at Vball girls and boys. As in wow, nakakaamaze kasi eversince freshmen tayo shitty na yung results kapag inter year. Doon ko narealize na nag grow na nga tayo (huwaw naman) from immature kids na may kanya-kanyang opinion at nag-aaway away over simple things to a slightly matured with developed cooperation teens.

Congrats Juniors ‘17-'18! ❤

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1:11 PM

Gusto kitang kausap,

Nakukilitan ka na ba sa akin?

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Kaibigan

Hi. Unang bati sa akin ng isang taong bago sa aking paningin at may mala anghel na mukha. Kay gandang titigan ang mga mata niyang mapupungay. Ilong na matangos, labing kasing pula ng rosas at katawang napakakisig. O, kay gwapong nilalang na lang ang nasambit sa isipan. Hello? Bating pananong ang nasabi ko sa kanya, natulala sa kanyang itsura. Tipong tumigil ang aking mundo ng siya ay makita at makilala. Kay saya niyang kausap tipong walang katapusan na pagkukwentuhan. Oo. Sweet siyang tao na mahuhulog ang lahat sa mabubulaklak niyang salita at maangas niyang tindig. Lumipas ang mga araw na lagi kaming magkausap. Hindi ko ikakaila na nahulog na ako sa aking bagong kaibigan. Sabihin na nating masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari, ngunit hindi ko alam kung saan kung kailan o kung paano ako nahulog sa kanya ng ganoon lamang kadali. Isang araw nagising na lang ako na hinahanap- hanap siya. Hinahanap-hanap ang mga pag-uusap namin na lagi kong pinauulit-ulit basahin at mga masasayang memorya na aking iniisip-isip. Hindi ko kinaya ang bugso ng aking damdamin. Nagtapat ako sa kanya, ngunit dahil sa pangyayaring iyon tila nagbago ang lahat. Ang mga pagkakataong aming pinagsamahan. Ang mga kasiyahang aming pinagsaluhan. Ang mga iyakan at kadramahang pinagdaanan. Lahat ng iyon ay mananatili na lamang bilang isang alaala. Kaibigan. Ang malalapitan sa oras ng kagipitan. Kaibigan. Ang nakakasama natin sa ating mga kalokohan. Kaibigan. Ang minsang nagiging dahilan ng ating kaligayahan. Kaibigan. Ang laging nandyan at dumadamay sa oras ng kalungkutan. Kaibigan. Iyan ang isa sa mga pinakamahalagang bagay na maituturing natin na kayamanan na dapat nating pakaingatan. Kaibigan.

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Hannah Baker

Though 13rw is not my typical genre, I was interested with the plot. I see myself in Hannah except for the fact that she’s suicidal. Being bullied or judged like she was, that also fucked up my hs life. Kung si hannah nabully na slut, judged, betrayed by her friends, yung hs life na fucked up ba ako naman judged, malandi, bitch, then I lost friends. Like hannah ang attitude ko na lang abt don who the fuck cares? not even me. Buti na lang I got the best friends. The people who defended me and believed in me si Hannah kasi wala. Serious shit that bullying must be stopped. I remember I had to cope up with depression nung times na ayoko ng pumasok to see the lame faces of those who judged me, yung mga nagsabing ilan daw ang nilalandi ko haha, lahat ng backstabber don tas yung mga kaibigan kong iniwan ako. Dumating sa point na I even doubted my bestfriends bc idk if there are still people I can trust. The feeling sucks. I’m sharing this bc i know how it feels and i survived it. I was depressed but I was never suicidal. 

So please before you judge someone and you don’t know him or her that much you must fucking stop. You don’t know how big its impact is and you don’t know how it feels. In case you do, don’t hurt back others just bec you were also hurt by them. Fuck judgmental people. 

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Stuck between "kaya ko pa" and "suko na".

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Limang Letrang Paulit ulit

Masaya tayong dalawa na tipong pangmatagalan. Pero lahat ng saya ay napalitan ng kalungkutan na kailanman ay hindi mababayaran. Kalungkutan na ikaw ang dahilan at sanhi ng palilinlang na hindi ko manlang namalayan. Lumipas ang oras, araw, at buwan habang iiniwasan natin ang isa't-isa, nakita kitang masaya sa piling ng iba. Oo, masakit. Masakit isipin na mayroon ka nang iba. Hindi ko lubos maisip ang aking nagawa. Nagmukmok sa isang silid sa pag-asang ikaw ay babalik. Lumipas ang mahabang panahon at muli tayong nagkita. Sorry. Ito ang salitang unang mong nasambit na simula pa noon ay paulit-ulit ko nang narinig mula sa iyong mga labi. Hindi ko inasahan ang muli mong pagtatapat. Oo, nabigla ako dahil matagal kong hinintay ang pagkakataong ito na muli kang babalik. Ngunit, iba na ngayon dahil ako'y napagod din. Napagod umasa sa lahat. Napagod at natakot na magmahal muli. Natatakot sa kahahantungan kung ako'y magmamahal muli. Natatakot na mauulit lamang ang nakaraan kung saan ako'y iyong sinaktan. Sorry-- iyan ang limang letrang naririnig ko ng paulit ulit.

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I’m so broken that I can feel it. I mean, physically feel it.

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Cycle ng Friendships sa Lipasay (Filipino v.)

GRADE 7

syempre, sa brigada yung mga kakila mo muna yung magiging kaibigan mo. pwede na rin yung magulang ng kaklase mo kinausap ng magulang mo tapos naging friends kayo. 

dumaan ang first day. yung mga kakilala mo yung tinabihan mo. kaso nilipat ka ng teacher. kalapit mo parin naman friends mo. dumaan ang ilang weeks close na kayo ng katabi mo (kung girl-girl at boy-boy)  

natapos ang 1st Qtr at inilipat kananaman ng teacher niyo. may bago ka nanamang katabi. after 3 MONTHS, yung kaibigan mo pa rin ay naging kakclose ng mga katabi/kalapit mo. at that point, may kinaiinisan kana. maraming practice para sa contests at maraming excuses yung kinaiinisan mo sa klase. kasama mo doon ang mga kaibigan mo at ayun, pare-pareho niyo nang kinaiinisan haha.

doon nabuo ang squad nyo till end of the year. solid na solid. nagtampuhan, nagbati at nagtsismisan. 

GRADE 8 

brigada nanaman. dahil nga solid pa rin kayo ng squad niyo, kayo parin ang magkakasama kahit magkaiba na ng section. 

lumipas ang 3 BUWAN 

nagkaroon ng problema. nagkagalit nanaman ang ilan sa mga kaibigan mo. kung dati nagkabati, ngayon ay nagkahiwalay. mahirap rin ang magkaiba ng section, eh. sumama siya sa mga rk at kami ganun pa rin. simple lang naman ang squad namin, actually. kahit ang iba talaga rk (not meee)

ayun hanggang ngayon ganun padin. we’ll just see what the outcome will be. kung magkakaibigan talaga kami, we will. we will be. we’ll  just wait kasi ang dami pang araw! c:

kung minsan mas maganda pa ang friendships ng mga lalaki. kahit seryoso sa pag-aaway, seryoso naman sila sa iba’t-ibang aspects particularly their friendship.

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Promises are just sweet lies

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