batattackonschoolus

[batattackonschoolus]

Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

[batattackonschoolus]

Ever since i was a little girl i knew i never wanted to be pregnant

[batattackonschoolus]

me impatiently to the little french cat boiling me in a stew: chat am I cooked

[batattackonschoolus]

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

[batattackonschoolus]

when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl you used to be who desperately wanted to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever

[batattackonschoolus]

german anti-masker/covidiot/qanon chats be like

Michael: Didn’t find a place to park, I’m driving back home

Karl-Heinz: you sleazy system loyalist just park anywhere you want the revolution starts today and you’re asking where you can park, unbelievable

[batattackonschoolus]

I’m actually remarkably chill considering I’m consistently under the spells of many wizards

[batattackonschoolus]

Aldi, bitte

[batattackonschoolus]

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

[batattackonschoolus]

Sire, the woodland gnomes have pledged 10 apples to our cause

[batattackonschoolus]

"you don't like mpreg?" i don't even like fpreg

[batattackonschoolus]

[batattackonschoolus]

No longer indulging in anything that a Hobbit wouldn’t do.

[batattackonschoolus]

Me trying to flirt: would you like to watch The Lord of the Rings (extended editions)

[batattackonschoolus]

in my '?' era

[batattackonschoolus]

are we sure the only way out is through? like. are we sure we can't just. go around