bazyliuszpd

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for me i want to be seen as male but my actual gender is my own so i don't talk about it

feel free to reblog for sample size

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not schizoid culture, mostly just a vent :/ but i keep seeing this weird push in some spaces to dilute SZPD into some kind of "hates everyone, secretly an emotionless robot" type of persona. it's valid and all if that fits you, but even the breakdown of the traits shown by DSM-5 don't declare that so it's annoying when i see people arguing that not wanting to be lonely, wanting to improve/get better/have friends/make connections means you're not schizoid. like look i want these things but I can't do them because of the issues™ and when i have the opportunity it is a struggle because of the issues™. also i don't think some people understand how unhealthy being a hateful friendless empty person is - much less wrapping your entire being in that like a fucked up burrito.

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I've encountered myself in this situation many times, where I don't care enough to explain anything to anyone, so I give a short answer

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"Can I call you" not so fast, first you must answer my riddles three (could this have been a text, what do you want, how long will this take).

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i’m a good listener. i think that’s why i generally get along better with extroverted people. they talk and talk, and i don’t mind, i like listening, and i know how to nod and make empathetic noises. i listen to the stories of your life like i’m watching an episode of a tv series. it’s entertaining. i can’t believe how much drama you’re always in. this arrangement works because you leave me space. you ask me how i’m doing, and i say, ah, just the usual, not much. no, no boys, as if i had the time for that. and then you’re reminded of another story, and eagerly tell me about it. i give you advice, but i’m not sure if it’s good advice, and then we hug and part ways again. i love you, but i know you care more about me than i care about you, and i’m sorry for that.

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Sometimes I like the concept of romance but then I remember how much of an act it feels like in real life

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90% of me talking is just a reflex.

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i need love and devotion that i can turn on and off

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can’t be embarrassed if I avoid doing anything

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*feels nothing* minimalism

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one thing that sucks about low/no empathy is that you can’t tell your friends about it. i tried, but they were like “no you can’t have low empathy, you’re so nice and caring!”

how am i supposed to tell them that i only show support and care because i want them to be over their feelings as soon as possible so we can go back to talking about me and my interests. how do you tell people that without losing them as friends.

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people who aren't schizoid will never understand that when I say I don't care I'm not trying to be cool I just really mean it

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← Master exaggerator of emotional responses (outwardly very emotional, internally really fucking numb and feeling nothing)