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I actually can't stop thinking about how the losing party last election dressed like vikings and tried to break into the white house and the losing party this election are sharing suicide prevention hotlines

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How to treat a man

1. Always seek his approval. 2. Never interrupt him. We, as women (cunts), shouldn’t ever act as if what we have to say is more important that what he’s saying or doing. 3. Dress the way he wants. Whether this means dressing like a slut, or covering up. We should always look good and desirable for men. 4. Cook and clean for him. Men deserve a woman (cunt) that services him in more ways than just sex. The cooking and housework is our responsibility. 5. Let him take you whenever & wherever he wants. In public, while you’re doing something, while he’s on the phone, while you’re sleeping, etc. Be available for him at all times. 6. Let him use you to de-stress. 7. Worship his cock like it’s your God, because it is. 8. Always assume he’s right and if he corrects you, believe him and apologize. Men are smarter than us. 9. Give up your desire to gain intellect. If men like cunts that are dumb and undereducated, that’s what we need to conform to. 10. Plan yourself and your future around him. After all, he’s the most important part of your life. 11. Let him objectify you. We are just objects after all.

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105 FOODS AND THEIR CALORIES

(I worked really really hard on this list, it was originally meant for me, but I thought it could help someone else)

💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎

100ml Coffee…………………………0cal

100ml DietCoke……………………..0cal

100ml Tea……………………………..0cal

100ml Sparkling water…………….0cal

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100g Chard (Acelgas)……………10cal

100g Chinese cabbage…………10cal

100g Cucumber…………………….12cal

100g Celery………………………….15cal

100g Lettuce………………………..15cal

100g Radishes……………………..16cal

100g Zucchini………………………16cal

100g Tomato………………………..18cal

100g Kale…………………………….20cal

100g Asparagus…………………..20cal

100g Green peppers…………….20cal

100g Mushrooms………………….22cal

100g Spinach………………………23cal

100g Eggplant……………………..25cal

100g Cauliflower…………………..25cal

100g Cabbage……………………..25cal

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100g Setas………………………….30cal

100g Lemon/Lime…………………30cal

100g Watermelon…………………30cal

100g Strawberries………………..32cal

100g Melon………………………….35cal

100g Tangerine…………………….37cal

100g Peach…………………………40cal

100ml Milk light……………………40cal

100g Carrot…………………………42cal

100g Grapefruit……………………42cal

100g Onions………………………..42cal

100g Beetroot (betabel)……….43cal

100g Blackberry…………………..43cal

100g Plums (ciruelas)…………..46cal

100g Cranberry……………………46cal

100g Orange………………………..47cal

100g Artichokes……………………47cal

100g Clam (almeja)………………48cal

100g Pineapple……………………48cal

100g Cherries………………………50cal

100g Raspberry……………………52cal

100g Egg whites…………………..52cal

100g Green apple…………………55cal

100g Bean sprouts……………….55cal

100g Blueberry……………………..57cal

100g Pear……………………………58cal

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100g Milk…………………………….60cal

100g Kiwi…………………………….62cal

100g Yogurt…………………………63cal

100g Oysters……………………….65cal

100g Mango………………………..65cal

100g Mussels………………………68cal

100g Octopus………………………70cal

100g Grapes………………………..70cal

100ml Pink wine……………………72cal

100g Green peas………………….77cal

100g Boiled potatoes……………80cal

100g Cod (bacalao)……………..83cal

100g Pomegranate……………….83cal

100ml Red wine……………………85cal

100g Sweet corn………………….86cal

100g Lobster………………………..87cal

100g Banana……………………….90cal

100g Trout (trucha)………………92cal

100g Squid…………………………..92cal

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100g SeaBream………………….100cal

100g Turkey……………………….105cal

100g Fresh tuna………………….108cal

100g Garlic…………………………119cal

100g Crab………………………….125cal

100g Sardines…………………….140cal

100g Rabbit……………………….150cal

100g Whole eggs………………..156cal

100g Avocado…………………….160cal

100g Lentils………………………..165cal

100g Salmon………………………180cal

100ml Sparkling wine………….190cal

100g Wheat bran………………..190cal

(Feel free to add more!)

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My therapist: *validates my trauma and says what I went through was traumatic*

Me: uhm first of all

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Me: Damn this is kinda stressful haha I wish life had like an escape button

Brain: diSsOciATe?¿

Me: nO pls god no

Brain:

Brain: *dissociates*

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september is coming up so here’s your yearly reminder to leave billie joe armstrong the fuck alone

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People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.

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watching invader zim feels like looking back at a powerful and ancient civilisation which kickstarted society as we know it but the society as we know it is 00s style random humour 

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due to personal reasons i’ll be

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No gay has all 5:

- A job

- Good relationship with father

- Neurotypical brain

- Ability to top

- Driver’s license

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oh you think your life is hard? try being a gay rat living in france who hates your dad and just wants to cook

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