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on behalf of doing God's work (it's not my capability tho)

on behalf of doing God’s work (it’s not my capability tho)

becoming selfish is the best thing i ever did. i quoted from the wizardliz on youtube. it’s my personal experience about people-pleasing i need to unlearn. good lord, maybe it is the dozen time i talk about this specific topic and i am not tired talking about it yet. i am tired when people are coming to me with their problems, people are trauma-dumping on me, because i would always look like the…

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impeccable trend: "reinventing yourself."

impeccable trend: “reinventing yourself.”

‘reinventing yourself’ tiktok, go on pinterest board, figuring out what you want to be, and be that bitch. you know, it’s like make a new aesthetic, find new hobbies, journal as a person you manifest for. i used to have a range set of ready-to-use characters, with different aesthetics, different way i dress, the way i act, the way i wanted people to see me. have you done that? it’s kinda like a…

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pretty girl

everyone’s life already hard. lucky pretty girl with her privileges can see the struggles out of everyone. she sit on her seat, waiting someone to pat her head and pray for everyday that she doesn’t make someone mad or sad or overwhelmed or guilty. she’s here to comfort someone she loves and make a good time.

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pretty girl

all she do is waiting. wait for the miracles pouring through her shining hair. pretty girl is confused. all she does, always quiet. she can’t express her rage. it can hurt everyone. she can’t express her opinion. it can hurt someone’s feeling. nobody wants a pretty girl with misbehaved attitudes, right? she just smile and doing party favor for everyone. so that no one can’t feel inadequate or…

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pretty girl

being pretty is quite easy for me. put your best makeup, your eye-catching outfit, don’t forget to shiny hair and smile! now, that’s your spotlight on. being pretty is to make someone easy to you. being pretty is to make something easy for you. pretty girl lives in the most beautiful cage, filled with adoring eyes on you. they have undisturbed attention, too. how charming! all the boys like…

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The future belongs to the youngest mind.

The future belongs to the youngest mind.

There is a spectrum to approach masculine-portraying movies. Either you get Dead Poets Society (1989) or Fight Club (1998). I love taking extreme points and then extrapolating them later. The dichotomy thinking of said assumption doesn’t imply good or bad, wrong or right. Dead Poets Society has a harmless approach to the youngster of an era. It is inherent in the title of a likable movie. It…

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kill a lover in a Gunne Sax

kill a lover in a Gunne Sax

This is my dream. I called it the Killing Queen. I saw this writing title on my phone when I saw your deceased body. I brutally murdered you, my lover. It’s disturbing and symbolic. It is uncanny, to see the title and witness your death at the same time. I want to freak out, but it’s just a dream, right? I gave poison in your lunch, you ate the food. Bloods coming from your mouth but I don’t…

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the unheard the educated.

the unheard the educated.

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking, everybody knows that the captain lied. School to them is just 12 years of daycare until they’re legally old enough to become human capital stock wage slaves for the rest of their lives. Some students have not turned in work, not turned on their cameras since covid crashed in-person classes. We are told to give them “grace”, which means endless remakes…

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kind of... enjoying the collapse?

kind of… enjoying the collapse?

Our challenge is climate change. There are some minuscule chances our earth will be hit by meteors, but let’s shift to the gradual devastations we already face. Unfortunately, it leads to an inevitable effed-up chain of events. The correct indicator is that we have entered the end game. The permafrost layer that has been frozen for thousands of years in Siberia and Antarctica is thawing for the…

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Wisdom of Athena

While power-hungry kings fought each other for power and fame, to play gods on the stage of human history. Humble men and women are seeking solutions to solve problems discovered sacred laws of nature to explain how things work. Those oppressors, the one that exceeds the bounds, seem to forget one fundamental fact of life. The fact that yet every great hero or powerful king, the mortal man still…

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Luna

She shot me, not caring for any other shield than only my wounded heart; She knows too well where my lethal spot is. She shot me with an arrow that didn’t strike the outer part of my skin but cleft my heart. She strikes the hearts of men and women dead on the spot with arrows, which are feathers with the eye salve of a good education. Now I’m petrified. She has sent me a fine sword from her eyes,…

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Queen Bee

I can hear the fluorescent hum and flicker. I am so relieved. Finally shook off the insidious venoms crippling through my vein for almost eight years. What have I done to you, hm? I did you dirty, darling. I created great vengeance when I mimic your pathetic, sad, depressed little nobody. You are an alienated teen, and only some random dudes on the internet can understand you. You are an…

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to be aware and perceptive is to exist in a state of self-torment

to be aware and perceptive is to exist in a state of self-torment

Days become a blur, and suddenly a month passes by. You realized you have not accomplished any goals you set up for yourself. The nagging anxiety 24/7 at the back of your mind telling you, you will never get the lost time back another semester’s going to start. You won’t have the time to pursue the project you hoped to do over the summer. I noticed as someone who tries to be artistic, creative…

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Il faut cultiver notre jardin: ‘we must cultivate our garden’ 

start with yourself There’s a story about The hero Candice and his companions that have traveled the world and suffered immensely. They have known persecution, shipwrecks, rapes, earthquakes, smallpox, starvation, and torture. But they have—more or less—survived. In the final pages, they find themselves in Turkey—a country Voltaire especially admired—living on a small farm in a suburb of…

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be in a constant state of hurry

be in a constant state of hurry

Constant hurry makes life blurry. One day, you’ll reach the end of it, feeling like you never attended it. Rushing through the days like you’re late to go somewhere like you’re late to the future. But then, your future becomes the present and the future is once again—distant.  I quoted Lana Blakely’s articulated thoughts, “Have any of you played Super Mario in Nintendo 64? You know he runs up…

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My Life is So Boring (3/3)

My Life is So Boring (3/3)

So, this is the final writing on this section, thankyou for bearing with me, a conscious person who likes to procrastinate –just like other human, right? It’s been 170 days since the last time I write, accurately. Huh.. I worked on polishing my art, it’s decent. I can see a good progress on it. So, in this section let’s talk about the significance of role model. I am lost touch as a human being…

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(2/3) My Life is So Boring...

(2/3) My Life is So Boring…

A little bit of enlightenment for this part. I appreciate you all for bearing with me. Before that, I will tell you some “approachable” scenarios picturing our lives in general.  Have refined sugar and oil as staple foods. Lack of diversification of nutrient sources in our daily intake. Set our sleep cycles by electric lights, screen addiction, sleeping pills, alarm clocks, and/or caffeine as…