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JORJA SMITH Be Honest (2019)

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Where is my energy?

Lately I haven’t had the energy to do the things I enjoy. It’s been an odd feeling cause I have large passion for the things I love. I also love encouraging people to do what you love more often and you’ll be happy. I haven’t taken heed of my own advice. My energy is else where and I can’t seem to grasp it. It’s strange. It’s like I want to but I’m distracted by something and I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe I need encouragement from friends and people that love me. I haven’t felt love in a while either. Maybe that’s what it is. Love is my energy. I can’t let that be it. I need to find my own energy and enough self love to create that energy to do what I love. What if it’s something I don’t actually love? That can’t be. I love music. It’s a passion. I enjoy it too much to not do it. Whatever it is I need to find my energy and embrace it. Hey energy! I need you now more than ever!

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Here, now.

Here and now

I need you here and now

But now that you are here

I don’t need you now

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The move.

I moved back to Hawaii. I have no real expectations. I just wanted a change. Change of scenery and lifestyle. I got fat and lazy yet I was still happy but concerned. My lifestyle choices were on a very dark path to being in a unhealthy place. I know I'll miss home to the most extreme but I had to do what I had to to better myself. Better my health. Better my lifestyle choices. Better scenery. I love home no everything that comes with it. It doesn't mean that I won't be back, just not anytime soon. I already miss my nephews and nieces. It's heartbreaking for me to not be around their lives that often. I hurts so much. I already miss my mom. I'm just so concerned for her that I'm not around to keep her company. I'm getting sadder and sadder writing this. It's only been a week since I moved back and everything still hurts. I cried myself to sleep the first two night. I cried when I left the house. I cried when I was on the plane and I want to cry right now. This is not conflict. This is a part of growing. I have to do this. If I didn't do this then why. I have no idea. I miss her. I miss her a lot. I think about her all the time. I want to see her face. I want hear her voice. I know FaceTime exist but she doesn't know how I felt or feel. I think she does know how I feel but idk. It was nice to take a weekend off from DJ'ing but thinking about it I really wish I had DJ'ed last weekend. Damn it I'm fucking losing it here but not really. It's nice and calm and my life is with on a healthy path of stability but the chaos is to come. Goodnight and I love you all.

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Everything is terribly fucking stupid.

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Made a drake mix of all the songs he's sung about women.

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Kiko Mizuhara for i-D Japan Magazine, vol. 1

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Various covers of books of essays and other writing by Nobuyoshi Araki.

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Nobuyoshi Araki.

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Mad depressed but i keep my head up.

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Woke up this morning stressed. Feeling very frustrated and sad about my own life. Broke down. Still feeling this way and I'm mad about thinking I'd get over the feeling. It's not going away. Built up tension and angst. I wanna let it go. I should take advantage for the creative spirit but this wall called depression is forty feet tall and is very hard to get over.

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Passion, Pain, and Demon Slayin’ by Kid Cudi

4 Your Eyez Only by J. Cole

*2.“Awaken, My Love” by Childish Gambino*

Cozy Tape Vol.1 by A$AP Mob

Yes Lawd! by NxWorries

A Seat At The Table by Solange

Campaign by Ty Dolla

Birds In The Trap Sing McKnight by Travis Scott

*5.Blond by Frank Ocean*

*4.IV by BADBADNOTGOOD*

Blank Face by ScHoolboy Q

Still Brazy by YG

Sept. 5th by dvsn

Lemonade by Beyonce

*1.Coloring Book by Chance The Rapper*

Konichiwa by Skepta

*3.99.9% by Kaytranada*

Views by Drake

untitled unmastered by Kendrick Lamar

The Life of Pablo by Kanye West

Anti by Rihanna

Majid Jordan by Majid Jordan