be-pd

[be-pd]

[be-pd]

Wow.... it’s been a really long time since I’ve been on this blog. About year to be exact. Things have been weird for me. I stopped using this blog after my ex started catching on I might have a vent blog, but he ended up forcing me to show it to him anyway. Almost 2 months ago I broke out of his abuse and going on this blog it’s kind of like a diary of me enduring that

Maybe I’ll start posting again because I’ve been struggling a lot with the aftermath of everything. Thank you to everyone who follows me and I’m sorry if you sent a message and never replied, it was hard to look at this blog without feeling anxious for a bit. 🖤

[be-pd]

Me: absolutely hates being told what to do

Also me: panics if someone is not telling me what to do in very specific detail because if no one is telling me what to do I’m not being productive enough

[be-pd]

today my prof said to my class “you don’t truly love someone until they’ve hurt you and you still think of them as the greatest person in the world. Love is the most violent act.” ok ok ok

[be-pd]

dog teeth #79

[be-pd]

dog teeth #120 // i dont know

[be-pd]

dog teeth #145

[be-pd]

dog teeth #114

[be-pd]

filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

[be-pd]

[be-pd]

me: i deserve love and happiness also me: abuse me abuse me abuse me abuse me abuse me abuse me

[be-pd]

brain: im so happy i dont want to be sad ever again, cant even imagine it

brain 2 seconds later: im so ssad i dont want to be happy ever again whats the point

me: so which one is it

[be-pd]

me: y'know maybe i don't have bpd after all. it was probably just a rough patch and i'm all better now--

my fp: *starts responding to me differently*

me: oh no haha there it is again

[be-pd]

[be-pd]

honestly fuck all the ppl that have used me. fuck you for making me feel like that’s all i’m good for. fuck you for hurting me. fuck you for damaging me. fuck you for touching me. fuck you fuck you fuck you.

[be-pd]

You keep coming up in my recommended, so I just wanted to say that you're probably a good person. I don't know you, but im proud of you for trying. For doing your best. Even if your best isn't a whole lot some days.

Thank you man. This means a lot to me. I havnt been very active but this is a great message to get. I hope you’re doing alright wherever you are

[be-pd]