beacedocrime - Tumblr blog

[beacedocrime]

There's no one's wisdom that's less valuable than this

[beacedocrime]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[beacedocrime]

Happy International Museums Day to the following people:

The guy who called me the Whore of Babylon for teaching kids about Ancient Egypt as I stood there and nodded.

The woman who was deeply incensed that staff wouldn't open the cases so she could touch the organic objects.

The one guy who made me translate hieroglyphs on a stele for him, then was mad because it didn't say what he wanted it to say, and reported me for 'lying' to the public.

The parents who objected to the taxidermied animals having taxidermied genitalia because it was unseemly.

Those kids on a school trip who got on the floor in front of a mummy and started chanting 'we worship Ra' as their teacher desperately tried to get them to leave.

That one guy who...uh...really liked geodes. No, they were not a special interest. He really, really liked geodes.

[beacedocrime]

ykno the thing about poetry is that 99% of it is bullshit and the other 1% will cut you like a material knife, and for every person that 1% is a different section of the whole. this is probably true about all art.

[beacedocrime]

[beacedocrime]

“Which spices go with which foods” lists are of limited value to me because, like, I have functioning taste buds. What I really need is a “spices that need to be added at the start of the cooking time in order to properly develop versus spices that need to be added in the last five minutes because extended heating fucks up the flavour profile” list – that shit is not intuitive.

[beacedocrime]

!!!

[beacedocrime]

hi if ur unaware georgia 🇬🇪 (where i live) has officially banned gay marriage, gay ‘propaganda’, gender reassignment surgery and anything ’promoting’ it. a trans model, kesaria abramidze, has been murdered as a direct consequence of this legislation. if you have a queer georgian in your life pls let them know they are loved and let this solidify why we Need pride and hope cause jesus fuck man

[beacedocrime]

I still think the single funniest thing about the cybertruck is that it has all those security cameras built in that are set to activate if anyone gets too close to the vehicle...and those cameras need electricity to run, and the cybertruck is a piece of shit that has way less battery life than you'd think, so you can legit just fuck over the owner by just standing near it and doing nothing else.

Like goddamn Elongated Muskrat found a way to let us siphon gas out of a car without even touching it. Fucking incredible.

[beacedocrime]

Finding out that World Athletics pays $100k every time a new world record is set so so Mondo Duplantis has just been setting it 1cm at a time from 6.17m to 6.25m in the past 4 years is so funny??? Finessing 1 million dollars 1 cm at a time even though he can clearly go higher at one shot???? #respect

[beacedocrime]

[beacedocrime]

The thing I can't get over is how Ford just fails to grapple with the enormity of Stan's thirty year lie. He's angry at Stan for taking over his life, which is fair, but also means that he can't see all the ways in which Stan made it his own. Like him or not, everyone in town is familiar with Stan Pines. He's fully established himself as a part of the community, and on top of that he's been running a successful business and teaching himself interdimensional physics. Ford writes in Journal 3 that "it's hard to believe the parents would trust these kids with Stanley; they clearly thought he was ME!" because he can't grasp the fact that, to Mr. and Mrs. Pines, there's only ever been one "Uncle Stanford," and he's the wacky old conman who fought off his brother to hold the newborn Dipper and Mabel just a little longer.

I'm saying this because I love Stan and thinks he deserves credit for all the ways he's pulled his life together, but also because I love Ford and need to talk about the existential horror of having your whole ass identity literally taken from you. He can't accept that Stan could be seen as a responsible guardian, but what's even worse is that "Stanford Pines" is beloved not through Ford's merits but Stan's. He left so little impact on his town and on his family that Stan could completely take over without anyone noticing. Shermie is his fucking brother, and he couldn't tell the difference because both twins were equally absent from his life.

On the flip side, Stan finally got to settle down and succeed at life, to do all the things his dad said he couldn't; but he only escaped his role of "the screwup twin" by literally taking over the identity of "the successful twin." No matter what Stan did, how reconnected with his family, it was always as someone else. Stanford could do it all, but first Stanley had to die.

I feel like this got a little depressing, but what I love about the Stans is that their story is fundamentally about hope and possibility. They may have both spent their twenties fucking around and finding out, but the story didn't end with the darkest hour. They've got time to be a family, to get to know the Pines' and the town of Gravity Falls as themselves. I adore the little detail at the end of Weirdmageddon, when Shandra Jimenez says "local hero, Stanley Pines" in her broadcast, because it proves that they're both finally getting the credit they deserve under their own names. Stanley and Stanford, distinct yet united.

[beacedocrime]

Other Archives

May or may not be the time to remind people that there are four other archives out there running on otw-archive!

SquidgeWorld Archive <- ALL FANDOMS!

superlove <- Guru young person self-hosts PINK otw-a on a Macbook.

Ad Astra <- Fifteen year strong single fandom Star Trek fanfiction archive! Fantastic community! (Also, I founded it. XD)

Comic Fanfiction Authors Archive <- Newest and most GAY RAINBOW otw-archive deployment ever! For comic books and comic adjacent fandoms! (Also, I founded it! XD)

Please, people, consider starting an archive! Decentralize fandom! Not only will this take some pressure off of AO3 for being the only non-pit of voles site, but when AO3 goes down, you'll have other options!

[beacedocrime]

[beacedocrime]

‘twist villain’ is always good of course but i’m such a sucker for ‘twist hero’. specifically as in they write a character to be as suspicious and unnerving as possible without really actually doing anything wrong yet but you just KNOW something is wrong but then surprise. they’re fine actually. all the alleged wrongdoings were either lies harmless or taken out of context. it’s even better if the suspicious aspects of their personality don’t go away after the reveal that they’re a good guy. they just act and look and talk like that for fun. they’re just a little silly

[beacedocrime]

i learned that the world record for the loudest thing ever shouted belongs to an Irish female teacher who shouted the word “quiet” at 121 decibels, the equivalent of a jet engine (x)