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So my dear wife is dealing with the complex situation of accidentally getting into a relationship too serious too fast and is now not actually sure they want what is going on rn

Basically this comes down to rachel getting surgery and then nat being laid off the day after, leaving them with all sorts of available free time to go visit rachel and assist her with post surgical recovery things, etc.

Except like. Three Saturdays ago (i think? Maybe 4), they made plans to hang out and Rachel was like. 4 hours late. I dropped nat off at the makerspace and Rachel was gonna come meet her there and then they were gonna get lunch and go to a movie. But Rachel was having anxiety, so she was having a hard time getting moving, and then she just. Took a nap about it? But also did not warn nat about this so they were just kinda stranded at the makerspace wondering what the fuck was up.

This caused a spiral about "do I actually want to be dating this person and there are all these little things that actually bug the fuck out of me and maybe we should just break up" and it's been a little back a forth since then. They hung out with her after that and were like "maybe I'm overreacting and everything is fine actually" and then they made plans with her for this Saturday and she was 3 hours late and they were like "maybe everything is Not Fine Actually"

From my side of things, I am quite frankly not the biggest fan of Rachel. She's just kinda A Lot All The Time and she's too bought into capitalism as a concept even though she thinks she's a socialist and in general her interests don't really align with mine. She's also a very anxious person and reassuring people 24/7 wears me the fuck out, especially if I don't actually give a shit about them? So I mostly make a point to do my own thing when Rachel is around bc it's easier that way.

Unfortunately, one of the anxiety spirals that nat had to pull Rachel out of on Saturday was "I dont think your wife likes me what if they hate me this is terrible."

And like, I have not voiced my dislike of Rachel! I don't even avoid her, I just don't go out of my way to hang out with her. Anyway, nat was very much like "no they don't hate you, they're chill with you" etc. When they recounted this to me, I agreed that I dont hate her though I mentioned that she is A Lot and so I often take space just to not get worn out. I did also point out that it shouldnt matter even if I did bc I am not the one dating her??? Like if I couldnt stand to be in the same room as her that might cause problems but Rachel should not be so invested in how I feel about her.

My take on the whole thing is that idgaf if a breakup happens or not, but I do think nat needs to reassert boundaries at minimum. In general, Rachel is kinda making Nat into her primary partner and that's not something nat is comfortable with. She wants to call most nights (not even to chat, just to hang out on the phone together) and has Nat as her phone lockscreen, two things Nat has expressed to me that they are not a big fan of. Also Rachel needs to work on her self soothing bc she's asking nat to do a lot of heavy lifting in terms of calming her down from anxiety spirals and it's very much a one sided thing.

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Just watched an ad for a color depositing shampoo designed to cover grey hairs except the guy they used as a model 100% looked better salt and pepper. What are we doing to our beautiful kings

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Love having conversations with myself such as:

-damn gaining weight is unnecessarily difficult

-well what have you eaten today

-uhhh bowl of cheerios and a monster cookie. Also most of a chai latte from the same bakery I got the cookie at and I think that should could

-it is 5pm and you walked around for several hours, can we maybe identify the problem here?

-shhhhhh I'll go home and take an edible and maybe then I can eat enough food to make up for it

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Fun activities to do at your local makerspace: flip through the october 1975 edition of playboy together (it's the edition with a sappho section)

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Cleaning gets easier when you remember it's a thing you're doing to make your life less miserable, and not a thing you're doing as punishment

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Neither enemies to lovers nor slow burn but a secret third thing called Schrödinger's intimacy. We are in love and we are not in love do NOT open that lid I swear to God.

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Every time I try to explain how much my sister and I look alike by showing a pic of my sister and they think it's me in the pic, I am reminded of the fact that I could 100% pass for 17 years old (probably younger even)

And then I think about your friend trying to hit on me and it becomes slightly weirder each time simply because of what the percieved age gap would be

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On one hand. I do think the gay (men only!!!) pride flag is dumb in terms of like. "I'm gonna make the lesbian flag but for Boys"

On the other hand. I do think there is something to be said for the fact that the traditional gay pride flag is also an umbrella flag and anyone who wants a flag that makes their identity clear is not going to be able to get that with the traditional gay flag.

(This does bring us back around to the post about how people use hyperspecific flags to label their identity lowkey as a replacement for hp houses but that's its own problem)

((I personally would rather just have the rainbow or even the og gilbert baker flag, but I will admit that seeing the ace flag out and about does give a nice little boost of "o! dat me!" and I think people who want to make that feeling a bigger part of their identity should be allowed to even if they get a little cringe about it sometimes))

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Puppygirl practicing if/then statements:

IF you jump on people THEN they will be mad at you 😭

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I love when I take my first sip of my morning tea and immediately need to poop. Bro this is some pavlov shit the tannins havent even hit yet

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@ the post you reblogged from me: i know you do lmao, I was referring to you; I do not have any dollar bill serial numbers memorized

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I love my wife dearly but also. Honey you can't just not apply to second shift jobs. "I'm not that desperate yet" second shift is not that bad!!! It's just kinda inconvenient!!! I fully respect not wanting to do third shift but you are capable of staying up later than I am and you like to sleep in I do not see where the problem is occuring. Yes you would see me less and that's a bummer and all (and meals would be more complicated) but I would rather work a full time second shift job that pays fairly well than a first shift part time retail job? I don't know why you wouldn't???

I fear we've had very good luck so far with job options and that has led them to have higher standards than reasonable for the current job market

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Constantly dealing with having two different conversations at once with my coworker aka the conversation I'm trying to have and the conversation she thinks we're having. She is constantly responding to half my statement and I'm like yeah that's great that's actually not what I asked though

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Also, fucking wild the way the stars aligned to have them tell me about their One Big Thing that I definitely didn't know about.

(On no grounds would I trust the boy after the shit he pulled because first of all he went back to saying the n word and second of all, OH MY GOD WOULD ANYONE IN THAT BAR SIT DOWN AND GO "HEY THIS PERSON TOLD ME THIS THING, WHAT'S YOUR VERSION OF THAT THING?")

I do not think I would have the continuous patience to deal with even a partial seven year old, but that is also why I am not going to be having children. My cheeks were definitely starting to hurt a lil from my "polite listening face with light smile to show I am not taking this information badly" and I could not do that 24/7.

I did think it was interesting the number of times they mentioned that they're not the same person they were 7 years ago. It did feel a little like they were trying to prove themself to me which was an interesting contrast to my goal of "don't do anything that would cause my good good friend to get yelled at later"

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The whole time I was being given that "woah I'm an adult now" birthday speech I was biting my tongue so hard to not say some shit like "yeah been there done that actually but thanks."

Just like. I have a job that required a degree to get. I have put a lot of work in the past year or two into becoming a well rounded person. I have already had the "fuck I'm a Real Adult arent I" realizations. You are not giving me sage advice unfortunately you are telling me to be prepared for something I have already done.

I was so good at biting my tongue also whenever they were telling me about Studies they've Heard About (which was lowkey funny bc I had just talked to mrs walter about how non-scientific interpretations of scientific papers are actually a great way to spread misinformation)

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My dad had me read a psych eval my mom did back in 2008 and was like "give this back to me when youre done also do NOT tell your mother I dont think she remembers it exists"

Anyway it basically said my mom is scared of being vulnerable and must portray herself as perfect to every outsider but also is very prone to criticism of herself and others because of her criticism-prone mother and emotionally unavailable father.

Which like. Damn, that sucks for you! I also had a criticism-prone mother and emotionally unavailable father but I didn't turn out to be a gigantic bitch actually, because I decided I didn't want to be like that and put in the work to be a better person.

I think it's the whole thing of a diagnosis being either an excuse or a roadmap to improvement depending on what you do with that information. Like sorry I'm actually not all that sympathetic to the fact that my mom is the way she is because of her childhood because she would rather use it as a reason not to get better than see where she went wrong and not put her kids through the same shit.

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Post on the queer exchange fb group im in where someone is looking for a roommate. Post says "pets allowed, preferrably not dogs but it's not a dealbreaker — only dealbreaker is cis men"

Beating you to death in my mind????? You would be cool with a fuckboy lesbian who leaves her panties in the fridge but not a bi guy who is scared to talk to any person he finds attractive and names his cat mr snuggles???

Tbh my standard for queer people is whether or not they'd be nice to my brother. If you're gonna be a dick to my brother simply bc he's a cis (het upon first examination) man, you're no better than a man who refers to women as "females"