beatrizxsouza

[beatrizxsouza]

Setting the tray of shots on the table once more, she slipped back into her seat across from Tyler. "Of course I wasn't kidding," she shook her head at him. "I don't know what kind of person you take me for, but a jokester is not one of them." Beatriz's lips curled into a playful grin that matched the tease that coated her words. "These are not for the weak. Straight liquor in them." She leaned in, as if she had a secret to tell Tyler. "Don't worry, I'll try to take it easy on you." @tylerxday

He laughed, "I should be worried," he teased. he didn't mean that; he didn't mind what she got them. He just didn't want to make it hard, and Beatriz was here being a friend, so he wanted what she wanted. "Oh no! I should leave," he faked like he was going to turn around and leave, but shook his head to show he was only kidding. He looked around when she went to get the first round of drinks, watching people for a moment before Beatriz came back. "Well shit you were not kiddijng" eh laughed. "But I am ready," he grinned. he was; he wanted a good time. @beatrizxsouza

[beatrizxsouza]

Beatriz watched the younger woman, the words rushing out like they had just broken through a dam. "What did you get up to while you were gone?" She liked to hear of other's adventures, hoping they had gone significantly better than her own time away from Kismet Harbor. Granted it was no one else's fault, but her own fault that her life blew up while living in New York City. "Yeah, people suck, huh?" Beatriz said, a wrinkle of her nose following her words. "Especially when you're the person getting the one thing that they need to survive for the rest of the day." @remingtonelliot

The distraction of picking up the sugar packets was a needed one, as it gave Remi at least a few moments to gather herself again before she looked back up towards Beatriz. "Yeah, it's like, yeah. Been a long time. I've like y'know, I was gone for awhile and then back and then gone and...yeah," she overexplained, rambling through her words as she got back up to her feet. Shoving the packets back into the proper container, Remi brushed off her pants a bit from being on the ground and offered another sheepish smile Bea's way. "Oh, that's like, every day for me. Some people are...not great," she agreed with a soft shrug. It wasn't uncommon to deal with bad customers, even there in Kismet.

@beatrizxsouza

[beatrizxsouza]

💔 a life in brightness & bruises: the story of beatriz souza

🎵 🎧 🎶 soundtrack to a life - three songs for three chapters

👧sugar-spun beginnings & sudden storms ( 1997 - 2011 ) ; she was a miracle child, raised in warmth and privilege. she was confident, curious and competitive, until trust was shattered.

sk8ter boi - avril lavigne

pocketful of sunshine - natasha bedingfield

who says - selena gomez & the scene

🎓 city lights & blurred lines ( 2012 - 2022 ) ; volleyball courts and valedictorian pressures. new york became a second home, camila lifeline. success felt close, until everything slowly, then, suddenly, cracked.

ribs - lorde

sweater weather - the neighbourhood

good 4 u - olivia rodrigo

🩹 reckoning, regret & return ( 2023 - present ) ; one night. one choice. one silence too loud to undo. she lost her best friend and the future she thought she was building. now back home, trying to start over.

i drink wine - adele

the archer - taylor swift

people you know - selena gomez

👜💄🩺 what's in the purse?

a tiny perfume roller, her signature scent since 2016

a cracked phone screen she hasn't replaced, like so many things

a cherry jolly rancher, always

a clean bandage, a safety pin and three hair ties

a faded friendship bracelet from high school

🗣️ 🤫 💬 rumor's whispered in kismet harbor

"she was everyone's favorite once. now? she's quieter."

"her mistake doesn't erase the years she was good."

"you can still see the grief in her eyes, grief and guilt."

"she walks like she is bracing for impact."

"she gave everything to the people she loved, even when they didn't deserve it."

"i think she is trying to forgive herself. that's the hardest part."

💭 🧠 📝six thoughts in the last year

"i don't think she will ever talk to me again."

"i'm not the villain, but i'm not the hero either."

"i miss her more than i miss anyone."

"i want to be someone i'm proud of again."

"starting over isn't as brave as staying, but i didn't get that choice."

"maybe healing starts with telling the truth, even if no one is listening."

[beatrizxsouza]

Ready for her favorite coffee trip, Beatriz nearly sprinted (though it was more of a fast walk) to Cobblestone Cafe after dropping Sonia off at the groomers for a bath. As she did so, the clattering of the sugar packet container caught her by surprise. She blinked a few times, taking in the scene before her, recognizing Remington almost immediately though it had been years since they'd seen one another. "Remi," she smiled, crouching down before her to help gather the stray packets of sugar that had landed near her feet. "I haven't seen you in ages," though that was just stating the obvious at this point. "Don't apologize," she said, her hand wrapping around the sugar packets to keep them from spilling onto the floor once more, "I've spilled way worse in front of way less forgiving people." @remingtonelliot

closed starter for @beatrizxsouza at the cobblestone cafe

Remi was just getting off a shift at the cafe, making sure everything was put away as she came out from behind the counter. Her attention was focused on grabbing her things, so she didn't notice that the door had opened and an old familiar face came walking through. Beatriz was halfway to the counter before Remi noticed her, eyes growing wide as she tried to look around for a place to hide. Beatriz had been a bit ahead of her in school, one of the older girls that she deemed way cooler than she was. It had been years since she'd seen the other woman, but the mild embarrassment of being back in Kismet working at the cafe instead of out in the world doing something big was hard to tamper down. Stumbling back a bit as she grabbed her purse, Remi managed to only make more of a scene as she knocked a container of sugar packets off the counter. Groaning internally, Remi bent down to pick them up, looking up at Beatriz with a sheepish smile. "Hey, uh - hi. Sorry. My bag just uhm, it hit them."

[beatrizxsouza]

"I feel safer already," she said with a playfulness wrapping around her words as she smiled at Jade. "I'd like that, yeah," she said with a nod of her head at the extended offer. "As long as you don't judge me for not being able to lift much at all," she joked with the brunette. "A gym buddy is always important to have. I hear it's the best way to have accountability," at least, that felt like a way it would work for her. "I'd run or do something with Sonia," she referred to her Basset Hound, "but she's not exactly the most active girl herself." She laughed, shaking her head. "I guess I feed off of her energy." @jademeilittle

Jade let out a real laugh. Something that she didn’t do often. There was little chuckles here and there but not a full fledge laugh. She didn’t know what she was doing, so she started moving her hands in ways that she saw in movies. “I got your back. No one will come sneak up on you with me around.”she smiled. She shook her head softly. It was mostly an outlet to take her mind off family and personal matters. Not really staying active even though she knew that she be doing it for other reasons. “Kinda yeah, you could say that haha. It went good. It was fun and pushed me to go beyond what I usually do. Well, next time I come maybe you can join me?”

[beatrizxsouza]

Beatriz parted her lips, though she were instantly stopped by his words. The same ones elicited a laugh from her, "Okay, you got me there. That was exactly what I was going to say." She smiled, feeling more at ease in the moment. "Really, it's okay. I startle more easily than I thought, apparently." Beatriz joked in return, though she actually had been nervous when she heard someone and couldn't see who it was. "Neptune Oyster?" She thinned her lips, turning to see if she could spot the street sign, "You are close, sort of," she admitted, spotting the street that they were on. "It's actually just one street up, so you had the right location, wrong street." Beatriz commented, "I'd be happy to show you the way?" @spencerredding

"I promise I'm not a villain." he laughed. "And before you say 'that's what a villain would say', just know I'm a military veteran with enough skills to end someone with just my hands. Promise I don't want to hurt you." he laughed. He let his hand rub over the top of his head. "I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry." he apologized again. "I'm actually looking for Neptune Oyster." he stated. "I worked on this house today and the family invited me to join them for dinner. I thought I had the right address but it brought me here to this random corner behind us so clearly I wasn't right." he sighed. "Am I anywhere close?" @beatrizxsouza

[beatrizxsouza]

"Well, since you said whatever I like, you can't back out now." She said, leaning in some, "Shots it is." Her lips curled into a grin, though it bothered her that Tyler wouldn't just make a decision. However, she wanted to have a good time and felt like Tyler deserved that all the same. "Fair warning, I don't go easy." She grabbed a sip of her water, figuring it might be the last time she touched hydration for the evening. "I'll be right back." She popped up from the chair and moved towards the bar to order them a few shots. Beatriz knew there was no point in getting up on several occasions, so when she returned to the table, she had a tray of shots. "Alright, are you ready to keep up?" @tylerxday

He laughed, "I can't help it." he wanted to help and to give back as much as he could. He just knew how hard things could be and didn't want others to deal with that if he could. But his work did make him happy; he knew he had such a passion for it. He had to smile at her, "Thanks for that." It did mean a lot that she cared. He laughed, "Whatever you like, I am down," he smiled. @beatrizxsouza.

[beatrizxsouza]

"Okay, okay," she laughed, crossing her arms fondly over her chest as she watched Jade come out of the woodwork with some moves. "I might have to start watching my back more and more if you're out there," she teased with a playful smile tugging on the corner of her lips. "Look at you being productive," she felt her smile grow, "how did it go?" She asked, genuinely curious. "I've been slacking on my own gym habits, so maybe this will be the inspiration that I need." @jademeilittle

“Now who’s the ninja. Defensive and on guard. Ready to stab anyone that comes near you.”she said knowing Bea is a bad ass. She could easily protect herself. She didn’t need anyone to do it for her. “Really? You think I’m a full fledged ninja already? I got some moves and can kick ass.”she chucked doing some moves with her hands. Not sure what she was doing but just being silly. “Especially if someone is walking really slowly and stands just right in the light. I can understand that. Ooo new nickname. I like it. Just finishing up with a gym class. How about you?”

[beatrizxsouza]

"Look at us," she smiled at Nicole, "always saying the right thing when we really need to hear it." Beatriz was grateful to have a friend like Nicole, especially after she had dealt with in New York and returning back to town with her tail tucked between her legs. "You're a great friend, too, Nicole," she complimented the other back in return. "And a great mother, I will reiterate that as much as I can because it's the truth and if you ever need anything, you know I will help out." @nicolepeterson

END.

"Me too." Nicole smiled at her friend and her face softened a little more before she nodded. "I guess he is, isn't he?" Her son was happy, healthy, and growing like a weed. She was raising him as best as she could and so far, she thought she was doing a decent job. "I appreciate that. You may be reminding me of that more than you think." She joked a bit and looked at her. "You're doing amazing too, you know? You're a great friend and I hope you know that." @beatrizxsouza

[beatrizxsouza]

"You always have been known to care a little too much, huh?" Though she chided him, her voice held a softness to it. That it wasn't a bad thing that Tyler cared too much, only that it weighed on him so heavily. "I get that." Beatriz said with a nod of her head, "If it helps you, that's what matters." Even though, she worried about him nonetheless. It wasn't that Beatriz judged his coping mechanism of using work but perhaps, she just didn't quite understand it. "You're not alone, okay? Don't ever forget that." Beatriz assured, "But enough mushy talk," her lips curled into a grin, "I'm thinking we do shots and maybe be regretful of said shots in the morning." @tylerxday

He was glad to hear that he really thought everyone was talking about him and was judging him during his bad time. He smiled, "I know people think I work too much, but it helps me relax." It did, he could sit around the water, the fish and animals at the aquarium, and be happy, which made him relax. He was glad she was nice and saw him for what happened to him. "I try my best." he was always the type who wanted to help others, who wanted to put them first. Maybe that's why half of the people he got to know and liked felt like he was a brother or family to them. So it was hard to really lose someone he loved for so long, and it was the same for him with her. "I am glad you think so, and you're a great person too." She was always so nice to him. @beatrizxsouza.

[beatrizxsouza]

She instinctively took half a step backwards when she first noticed him, but at his words the tension in her shoulders began to ease. She was alert, but no longer alarmed by his presence. "It was a jump scare moment, for sure," Beatriz managed to joke, "but if you are just lost and not a villain from a horror movie, I can work with that." Her lips curled into a brighter smile. "You're not the first person to get turned around or the last. Everything can look a bit different at night." Beatriz stated, "Where are you looking to go?" @spencerredding

Spencer hadn't meant to scare here; in fact he'd opened his mouth to speak at the same time that she'd spoken. He wasn't even sure how he managed to find the darkest corner in Kismet Harbor, but, here he was. "I'm sorry, I'm actually just lost." he chuckled a little, taking a step closer to the streetlight. He knew that being of darker complexion often times had him blending in, so if she'd merely seen his shadow or heard him lurking in the shadows there was no surprise that she was freaked out right now. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just trying to figure out how to get back to where I need to be; I didn't really consider the fact that I'd likely give someone a scare in the process. You alright?" @beatrizxsouza

[beatrizxsouza]

"I had my keys ready," she joked, having actually not been that prepared to defend herself if it was not someone she knew. "I think you're passing already, with flying colors." She told Jade, laughter bubbling over her lips. "I'm okay. You just caught me in the part of the night where every shadow is presumed to be a kidnapper." Though it wasn't exactly a lie. Beatriz had been more on edge lately. "What are you doing out here anyway, Ninja Little?" @jademeilittle

Jade could understand the heightened nerves and being on high alert out here all by herself and it being pitch dark as well. Some street lights were illuminated. "Yes, thats me. The one and only Jade Little here." she said making herself fully known now so Bea could see that it was just her. There was nothing to be scared of. She wasn't going to harm her. Jade didn't have that bone in her body. She could be defense but never harmful. "Mmm, I'm going to have to go with training to be a ninja." she joked with a chuckle. "Are you alright? I didn't scare you too bad did it?"

[beatrizxsouza]

"I never thought less of you and anyone that did, that's on them, not on you." Beatriz said, her gaze steady. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as he spoke about his work. "That makes sense," she nodded her head, "I suppose that isn't a bad thing for you to have work as part of the escape from life." She could imagine that was not the case for the majority of people. "You've always had a good heart, even when it's heavy with other stuff." @tylerxday

He knew what people thought of him when he was falling before, like he was. In that pit, when he was sad from the breakup and everything else at one time. But it was just a lot at once for anyone to deal with. "I am glad you understand," he smiled at her, glad to hear it. "I am not, I still have time off and relax, but my work is what I love, it makes me happy, and helps me relax." The animals there, the water there, just made him feel better always. @beatrizxsouza.

[beatrizxsouza]

"I love that for you." Beatriz knew that plenty of moms said it but she could she the truth in Nicole's words. "Yeah," her voice dropped, tone softening. "We do forget," she agreed once more. "Ryder is proof that you're doing a hell of a lot better than you give yourself credit for." Her smile grew, though still faint against her lips. "And if you ever forget again, I'm here to remind you. What else are friends for?" She teased, nudging the woman with her foot under the table. "You're out here doing incredible things if you ask me." @nicolepeterson

She shook her head. “I don’t know about powerful, but it’s something.” Nicole laughed softly before shrugging. “I don’t mind multitasking. And I love being a mom. I feel like it was what I was meant to do.” She really could see herself with more kids too. Ryder, though, was her entire life and she was so thankful for him. A sigh left her lips before she nodded. “It is.” She was always critical of herself. She felt like she could do more, be more. It had gotten a little worse since Valentine’s Day and her pool accident. “We tend to forget what that credit is in the first place.” @beatrizxsouza

[beatrizxsouza]

Her hand instinctively tightened around her keys until it dawned on her that she recognized the voice. "Jade," she called out, squinting into the dim lighting. "You scared the hell out of me." she said with a sigh escaping her lips. "Are you trying to give people heart attacks now or just secretly training to be a ninja or something?" Beatriz managed to crack a joke, her defensive nature quickly disappearing. @jademeilittle

Lately for Jade she had been going on late night runs and even early in the morning too. Every once in a while she would go and attend gym classes such as Zumba and Yoga but not lately. She wanted to enjoy the quiet of the night and her music. She stopped by to pick up a smoothie after her run before walking back to her car. On her way back, she heard some gasp and even ask in a timid voice who was there. She recognized that voice. “Bea, it’s just me.. Jade. I promise it’s only me here.”

[beatrizxsouza]

"I know you're not trying to, Tyler." She smiled at him, "I wouldn't be sitting here if I didn't know that." She leaned back in her chair, exhaling through her nose. "Life has been throwing punches to everyone," she shook her head, "so you don't have to apologize for feeling it. We all are feeling it." For one reason or another. "Just don't go and burn yourself out by thinking that working more is the same thing as healing." Beatriz cautioned with a steady gaze. @tylerxday

Tyler laughed lightly as he looked at her. "That's what I am here for," he teased with a smile. He was glad he knew Beatriz; she was a good friend of his. He smirked when he felt her kick his leg and sighed. "I cant help it sorry" he was trying top be better, but really still had a few bad days it sucked big time for him. "I am not trying too okay it just... I had a few shity months, and as soon as I felt like it was getting better, another blow happened." and it damn felt like the worked kept kicking him when he was down and he hated that. "But I've talked to people, I've been working on myself, and I'm going to work more, I know... It's not good to work a lot, but I love my job, so work helps me." he smiled at her. @beatrizxsouza.

[beatrizxsouza]

starter for anyone (cap at 2)

location: downtown kismet harbor

It was late at night and Beatriz was leaving Cedar Grill and Lounge after spending time with some friends. She said she was fine to walk herself to her car and she was. It was only around the block, parked a little further up the street. As she walked, getting ready to round the corner there was quick flash of a shadow figure. A gasp left her lips, echoing through the dimly lit downtown street. She peered around the corner, eyes widening as she searched for who it could have been. While Kismet Harbor was a place that Beatriz found to be typically safe, after the recent kidnapping, she didn't want to take any chances. "Who- who is there?"