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[beats-by-aj]

When is Prego gonna pop the cutie patootie out?

Prego appreciates this.

[beats-by-aj]

Oh, uh, thanks. It was just a thing I did for Kurt. I was just the fetus incubator. Yeah, but sobriety messes with me, so I forgot up until now. I know, it’s Eva. But Prego understands, I’m sure. 

I’ve heard of that. Congratulations on the gesture, by the way. And Prego has a name, Aj.

[beats-by-aj]

I don’t play like that. I’m familiar with the confines of gestation, so kudos to Prego for being able to clap that ass up in the club. 

By the way you mentioned that I took as you were ready to criticize her in someway. 

[beats-by-aj]

Balls, George, calm down. I meant no harm in that. I was just imagining a very pregnant woman bumpin’ both humps in the club. That’s incredible.

beats-by-aj replied to your post:The pros and cons of having a pregnant friend: you…

Oh my God, she still goes clubbing?

It was one special night. And what is the problem if she goes?

[beats-by-aj]

You’re not the first to say that, so I’m really not taken aback by this. No one’s gonna stop you, go ahead.

Yeah, totally fine. Totally cool. Absolutely positively a-okay.

In a really obnoxious way that makes me wish I had the will to strangle you.

Doesn’t matter.  I assume you’re fine, since you’re alive and breathing and being annoyingly chipper.

[beats-by-aj]

I’m nervous that the little fairytale tyke is gonna upstage me in his sweet outfit. Jesus, just what I need. Another yappy boogaloo. 

I know, but the last time I saw him, he was four and three-quarters of an inch from my hip. I measured him the last time I saw him. Which was practically a year ago. I missed his birthday Did he get the synth I got him? Did he like it? Does he play with it? I mean-- No, I’m not okay with it, but the most I did was bring him into the world. You bathe him, feed him, take care of him, tuck him in, kiss him goodnight. I legit just pushed the sucker out like a straw passing a watermelon and that was it. I’m okay with being the super cool, super chill Aunt AJ. I don’t want him growing up thinking I birthed him and threw him over to you. Because that isn’t true. But kids don’t make sense of things the way we do, so I’d rather just... stand back. I’ll let you be the parent, and I’ll be the cool aunt he can run to whenever Papa tells him that his cardigan doesn’t match his beanie. I’d rather be that than nothing at all to him. But thank you for being such a great dad. Even after all these years, I still stand by the fact that you’re the only one I’d do that for. 

Look at that fucking giant of a tot. God, he gets more and more handsome by the second.

Are you nervous? Don’t be nervous. He’s a hyper kid. He’ll talk your ear off. For a 3 year old going on 4. He’s very bright. He has great insight. Just like his mama. :)

He is always growing. He’ll love you. He loves Santana. He loves Ollie. He loves people in general. Are you sure you’ll be ok? I am worried about you. You are his parent too. If you want to be. Family. Whatever title you feel most comfortable with. No pressure. You gave me a gift. I love him more than I ever loved anyone.

Here’is a picture of him. He’s a bit tall for his age. Most people think he’s 5. I think he’s 16 in mini form.

[beats-by-aj]

Hey theperksofbeingmarley aka TSwizzle-- Actually, no. You’re not TSwizzle 2.0. You’re Marley Rose, the one and only. I love you too, my one and only greatest star. 

Hey beats-by-aj, I love you.

[beats-by-aj]

@beatsbyaj: 130. Not bad at all. #proud

[beats-by-aj]

Yes, yes. I’d love to see the munchkin. Y’know, after that allergy shot, we could go to the beach. I haven’t made a sandcastle since-- I don’t even remember, but not the point. After that shot, we’ll head down to the coast. Is he still the same height? Does he still like the same things? I feel like I’ve missed so much. Everyone’s had kids and they’re all... Never mind. I just haven’t seen him in a while. I hope he hasn’t changed too much.

You want to see him tomorrow? He’s going in for an allergy shot. It would be a good distraction for him to know he’s going to come see you. He loves it here. He spent 45 minutes making a sand castle and another 45 chasing waves. He’s a beachboy at heart.

I am glad you like the gifts!

[beats-by-aj]

Baby still thinks I’m cute.

You know I can see right through that, right?

You know, it really pisses me off when you’re being cute and I’m really wanting to sink my claws in.  I’m going to have to go pick a fight with some rando to get it out of my system. 

If that’s you asking if I’ve been okay, then yes.  I’m fine.  Right as rain.  Totally keen.

[beats-by-aj]

Definitely sunny, that’s for sure. I’m on the south coast, closer to San Diego. It’s a pretty sweet place, I can tell you that. Ah, I see you and Ciel finally stopped beating around the bush. Congrats.

That’s it exactly. We’ll just have to see how the week goes and if it sways either this or that way.

Sounds good, equally sunny I’d imagine? Unless you’re up in the Sonora’s or the Bay, where it’s not constantly as such. Great, actually, Skylar and I found a place in Baltimore a few years back, and we’re pretty much settled in for the long haul.

[beats-by-aj]

What can I say, Berry? Wait a second, I think I need to address you as St. James now, right? 

Naturally, Ava Jane. Naturally. I don’t think I can say the same for you, though. There was a time where the idea of you calling me, “Belmont’s shining star” was absolutely inconceivable. Time really can be a good thing, can’t it?

[beats-by-aj]

I did, and then I ended up falling asleep on the floor right outside of the bathroom door. Little piece of advice, don’t drive 38 hours straight without sleeping. I’m surprised I made it here in one piece. Shh, my life is uneventful, trust me. Your life is much more spectacular than mine. Look at you, planning fun stuff, having more replicas of you and Tyler. I feel like everyone from our college days ended up getting married and having babies. It’s almost like the dean told you guys, “Go forth and proliferate” at graduation. 

Oh my god, woman, will you go pee. Pop a squat anywhere at this point and get it done. ;) We can still talk about you, I’m a-okay with that. I’ve been good though! Planning lots of different events, having babies, well one baby.

[beats-by-aj]

Well... Do you at least remember a landmark? I mean, at the very least, I guess you could just look up pizza parlors all over MIami and eat, oh, I dunno, eighty slices until you find the right joint.

Siri don’t know shit. I also don’t know shit. I’m so sad. 

[beats-by-aj]

Ooh, good. So I get to see my little bug soon, right? I feel like if you continue to spoil me, I’ll end up never leaving my house. I’ll just have everything I’ll ever need in my own home. 

He is with me. I don’t trust leaving him alone. More for my sake than anything. I have a hard time being away from him. I am THAT parent. He is going to go see grandpa soon. I will continue to spoil you. You know that. Get use to it. I can’t wait to see you!

[beats-by-aj]

Decent. Nice and sunny. What about you? How have the Brits treated you?

Hello Florida and your warm weather!

[beats-by-aj]

I mean, I was practically wrapped in caution tape and topped with a traffic cone. 

Did you at least seek shelter?

Not a whole lot of reason to change, I was fucking amazing before you came and did your little tornado thing to my life.