becauseimbexx - Tumblr blog

[becauseimbexx]

Where Does a Girl Even Start with this…

TW: drug usage & mental health

At first I wasn’t sure how to title this or how to begin, but I got a lot on my mind and a lot to be said. This will probably be a multi part kinda thing. But talking to a good friend tonight has got me all kinds of emotional and in deep thought. I think these feelings have been inside of me for so long but I just haven’t had the strength to fully sit with them and actually feel them. So here it is…

First a foremost, I feel completely and utterly lost in damn near every aspect of my life. It’s like I’m still stuck in the forest that I got lost in years ago on one of my many drug benders. Like I know my physical body made it out alive and safely to my home but my mind is still stuck there. Every night at least one dream I have is set in a forest. Sometimes they’re nice dreams, & other nights not so much.. I’ve had this feeling of being lost ever since then. It’s at times like I’m also watching this current life from the outside. I’ve been trying to understand why I’ve felt this way and after chatting with my beautiful friend today about her hardships I’ve came to realize just how I’ve been in similar situations and can relate. Similar situations that hurt like hell yet I never actually felt them. Memories that the above drug bender helped me bury deep within to point I started to forget them. Now I’m starting to feel like this theme of being lost has gone on my whole life. I legit wanna cry but am at the point the tears ain’t coming yet. I know it seems a little scatterbrained articulation wise but what I’m saying is, I don’t want to be lost anymore. I want to tell my story and be found. I am worthy of that! I am unsure of where to start this adventure but as I work through the negatives on my own (and sharing with those things with close trusting individuals) I want to reminisce on the positive memories & recreate them through my content in some way. Remembering things that made me happy when I was a kid & finding ways to heal my inner child. The girl that had to grow up way faster than she should have. I gotta let her know things are gonna be okay, in order for myself to start feeling the same way now.

I think that’s enough for now. 🤍 I just wanna say one more thing. If you’ve played in part of my life lately, I appreciate you more than you know. Thank you for accepting me for the crazy girl I am. Thank you for blessing me with the most supportive & loving community of friends a girl could ever ask for. The bonds I’ve created with y’all have really helped tear down the walls I had built up. It’s honestly ya’ll that keep me grounded and not completely lost. 🖤

& if I don’t know you, and you haven’t been scared off, Hi, I’m Bexx. 👋🏻🙃🤭 Welcome to the magical shit show that is my life.

🔮✨🙌🏻 I’m really a bubbly, fun-loving girly. I love all things visual arts & music, I am a stay at home mama & wifey, & home maker. An Ugg & legging wearin basic white girl at heart who likes to play dress up & house. If you notice I never stay with one aesthetic for too long 😝🥰

Okay, now we done!… sorry! If you made it this far, thank you 🙏🏻

Xoxo 💋🤍🖤

Bexx

[becauseimbexx]

Who is Bexx?

Who is this girl?

.....where did she go.......

~ why did she come back~

Should she stay or go?🎶 🦋🍄🌻

I guess some might be wondering these kind of things.lol 🫠🙃😝 Where the fuck do I even start? lol it's like I know who I am, but when I'm put on the spot and asked about myself I clam up and don't know what to say. Kinda-sorta-like how I can think about the many materialistic things I could want, but the instant it becomes birthday/holiday season, and someone asks you for a wish list and instead my mind goes completely blank. Is anyone else like this?

Anywho... back to business besties!

Hello there, 👋🏻

My name is Bexx, I am a fierce force to be reckon with. A loving stay at home mommy & wifey. I am the 4th oldest in the lineup of my total of ten siblings. I was born October 31st, 1993. Yes I was born on Halloween, and Yes, I do indeed turn 30 this year. Go team scorpio ♏️. I grew up in the great PNW. specifically Vancouver WA, & Portland OR. I love the place I call home. 🌲☔️

Some fun facts about me are:

My favorite color(s) are, Orange, Purple, & Green

My favorite food is all food.

My all time most favorite Tv show is the OG Gossip Girl. I am 100% a Blair Waldorf.

I like to express myself through many forms of art. I love to cook, curate playlist, host parties & fun gatherings (I love planning every detail & being extra) Pinterest is one of my happy places.

I have a love for all aesthetics & enjoy playing dress up.

I am & will always be an adventuring kind of girly. I want to travel the globe & experience its magnificent beauty for myself. I've had quite the journey on social media & would like to meet the people that make up my world.

I've almost always got music playing & prefer music over movies. I listen to & have an appreciation for all eras & genres.

But when it does come to movies, it's either a cheesy rom-com or Horror.

I enjoy being goofy as fuck & making art out of my life on the internet for others to see. While simultaneously being vulnerable & talking about the not-so-beautiful parts of life.

I am not a religious person but, I am a very spiritual being. I don't publicly talk about politics for so many reason. The most important part being is just don't want my page to be about that. At least for right now.

I am 100% 420 friendly use weed on the daily for its many medicinal & recreational purposes.

I believe in celebrating life however one chooses to do so. Literally just do what makes you happy.

I have been married for 4.5 years & have a 5 year old son. Some of ya'll might see posts about them occasionally but aside from that, I will not be putting them on my page until they decide they want to. That goes for anyone in my personal life honestly.

Honestly I started this dream of a career in social media over a decade ago in my mother's basement where my siblings and I would plan out shenanigans to document and put on the internet. But we never actually did anything. Through my many attempts at starting something I was constantly trying to figure out where I fit in and what could I do that would make a worthy career. It took some time for me to realize that there are already many influencers like myself that already don't fit a particular niche. They're just genuinely being themselves & doing what makes them happy. I want to do that too.

Here & across other social media platforms I want to document life experiences, and share my life with y'all. & at the end of the day, I also aim to create a safe and fun environment for us all to share the things that make our world beautiful. Let's go forth & live our best lives together.

#BexxBesties for life.

XOXO- Bexx 🤍🖤