beckgreyauthor

[beckgreyauthor]

“If You Go” | Chinese White Pencil on Black Cartridge Paper, 2025. Artwork by David Farquhar.

[beckgreyauthor]

do you ever hear yourself talking and one word comes out very pronounced in you regional accent and you get irrationally embarrassed because oh no now people are going to know i’m from a place

[beckgreyauthor]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

[beckgreyauthor]

one of the guys in the kitchen at work got called irritating and replied “I am not irritating. You just find me irritating. There are many people who love me.” I think we should all adopt his attitude

[beckgreyauthor]

Friendly reminder that AO3 is fighting AI data scrapers on behalf of all fanfic writers!

According to the post below, AO3 issued a DMCA takedown after finding out that all works before March 2025 were scraped and uploaded as a dataset to potentially train AI. The ability to take legal action against scum like this is the direct result of people donating to AO3 so they can keep functioning and they don't pocket any of it because they are a non-profit organization.

So when you see the AO3 donation drives, please remember that this is what the money is going toward and support it when you can!

[beckgreyauthor]

To anyone who's ever been worried that your OC is too Extra... don't be.

The thing is, in any RPG, the protagonist is often meant to be a bit of a blank slate, with room to implement one's own OC, personality, and headcanons. The fact that game dialogue can sometimes feel noncommittal, or the fact that the responses can vary so widely, speaks to this: you can be anyone, so you are not forced to be any one thing specifically.

But when you carry that OC with you, out of that game? The role of the protagonist in the narrative shifts: it is yours. It belongs not to everyone (which is how they build the game) but to you, to your iteration and interpretation of the game's events. The protagonist goes from being the vessel through which we experience the story to being the main character of a narrative.

When we write, then (though this is also true for non-writers with OCs!) the protagonist - be they Tav, Rook, the Inquisitor, the Rogue Trader, anything - benefits from having more detail, and especially more extravagant detail. They are (most often) the POV character of the narrative. They are the lens through which we, as readers in fandom, experience your story.

So yes: make them special.

Yes: make them unhinged.

Yes: make them go on whatever emotional journey you like.

That's what they're there for, and these details enrich the story every single time.

[beckgreyauthor]

A group of curious preschoolers visits some beehives in Stockholm

Submit your cute pet here | Source: https://bit.ly/3qre7V4

[beckgreyauthor]

The other thing I'd like to add to the conversation about Anders and mortal possessions is that his earring, his pauldrons, and the fucking coat he buys himself to die in are literally the only nice things he's ever owned.

The only way for a Circle mage to get nice things is to be nice to their jailers and be useful to the Circle. Mages don't usually get out of the Circle, and if they do, they're probably not allowed to just go shopping, which means that to get something nice, you have to be allowed to not only make money, but spend it. Under strict supervision, of course.

Now guess how many nice things a guy who tried to escape 7 times and spent a year in solitary can have?

How many good wool coats has a Fereldan farm boy had in his life?

I suppose the only reason he has pauldrons and an earring in Awakening is because he got them from someone while he was on the run, and the Templars just haven't taken them away from him yet.

Can at least one element of his story not be so damn tragic?

[beckgreyauthor]

I've seen a lot of posts going around about this through the week, and I get it: the kudos/engagement economy is in shambles when it comes to fic. We live in the era of content creation.

But the easiest way to get a community of readers is to build one, and the easiest way to build one (in my experience) is throwing oneself headlong into supporting as many works as one can manage. It's not a perfect solution (I don't think there is a perfect solution) but overall, community is like a garden, and gardens grow when you feed them.

Want to receive prompts? Make prompts - but more than that, follow up and send out a lot of them. I just made one, and I sent, I'm not kidding, fifty asks.

Did I get that many back? Not even close. But did I get to watch while the community took hold of them, and engagement went up for everyone for that time, and that was the goal in the first place.

Want to receive commenters? Wax lyrical about how much you loved someone else's work, and they're likelier to want to repay the favour in kind.

Read. I'm guilty of it all the time: writing way more fic than I read, then wondering why tumbleweeds are rolling over some of my works. But I also know that I remember the names of commenters, and those are the fics I go look at first, to see if I can leave support with kudos/comments of my own.

Again, is this perfect? No. But will it help, even a little? Yes.

[beckgreyauthor]

random assortment of shitpost

[beckgreyauthor]

I've got a lot of respect for smut writers. you write something incredibly sexual, it's probably somewhat of a look into your own soul, and then bitches are too scared to leave kudos of comments half the time, so it looks as though everyone hates your work. And yet yall still do it, and I love that

[beckgreyauthor]

hawke couldn’t be in the veilguard because the second they found out what happened to varric it would’ve completely locked you out of any kind of redemption or good ending for solas. It wouldn’t matter what the inquisitor or rook did it would simply be over because hawke would immediately make it their mission to end solas themselves. the egg would have been scrambled

[beckgreyauthor]

sometimes all you need is a guy to lay on top of you and stay there while you talk about random things

[beckgreyauthor]

AO3 has been scraped, once again.

As of the time of this post, AO3 has been scraped by yet another shady individual looking to make a quick buck off the backs of hardworking hobby writers. This Reddit post here has all the details and the most current information. In short, if your fic URL ends in a number between 1 and 63,200,000 (inclusive), AND is not archive locked, your fic has been scraped and added to this database.

I have been trying to hold off on archive locking my fics for as long as possible, and I've managed to get by unscathed up to now. Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I am archive locking all of my current and future stories. I'm sorry to my lovelies who read and comment without an account; I love you all. But I have to do what is best for me and my work. Thank you for your understanding.

[beckgreyauthor]

This.

[beckgreyauthor]

The way the narrative mistreated Anders and Sera needs to be studied and talked about more. Especially when it praises Aveline in the same breath.

A true BioWare moment.

[beckgreyauthor]

adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting