bee-named-alex

[bee-named-alex]

God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

[bee-named-alex]

you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

[bee-named-alex]

you have more degrees of freedom than you think

you can completely reinvent yourself in well under a year with sufficient commitment

you probably make at least one decision every day which will meaningfully alter the path you’re on if you change it

this is terrifying but it’s also maybe the best thing about being alive

as long as you’re breathing, there’s a chance

[bee-named-alex]

[bee-named-alex]

do you guys think jesus was hung

[bee-named-alex]

The name Pyroraptor olympius makes you think they named a dinosaur after Prometheus but no they just found its remains after a forest fire near Mont Olympe in France

[bee-named-alex]

[bee-named-alex]

Mangled corpse of cave man 8000 years old grasping primitive samsung phone discovered in croatian bog soil

[bee-named-alex]

these guys haven't seen goncharov

[bee-named-alex]

"learn to be bored" "being bored is good for you" "be at peace with yourself" NO! 4 SCREENS AT ONCE!!!!!!

[bee-named-alex]

There’s a lot of excellent examples of the difference between a million and a billion, but here’s my new personal favorite from a conversation I had today:

A million minutes ago was April 2021, the height of the COVID pandemic.

A billion minutes ago was November 121 CE, the height of the Roman Empire.

[bee-named-alex]

next dynamic were sexualizing is that of a bull and a toreador

[bee-named-alex]

I went to a museum with this former carpenter, and as a way of flirting I kept pointing to victorian-era furniture and saying "oooh what wood is that ^_^?" to which he would reply, with increasing exasperation, "I don't know." this continued for like half an hour and he got very close to snapping.

[bee-named-alex]

The average Tumblr user reaching for the most obvious joke to make on a post that the op has most likely seen already

[bee-named-alex]

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

[bee-named-alex]

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends

[bee-named-alex]