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bee-thee-hoe · 6 months ago

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New Mindset New Me

Life is too short to be half living as someone you are and someone you don't want to be anymore. We often question how to instantly turn into this stunning rebirthed being who lives each day like a shot in a montage, how to wake up one day and magically be different. However the real question is what was so wrong with your past self and what is so radically different in this new one? At the end of the day you will always only be you, what you fake and mock you become. Every joke out of you mouth is still a thing you said. "It's my cheat day", "I'm so stupid, I won't ever pass this class". What if you don't frame it as such, "I'm craving this so I will eat it and move on", "I will pass this class no matter how much work it takes", because at the end of the day it is not what you didn't do with your time, it's what you did. It matters very little if you thought about your homework all day while you sat on your phone, how much does that accomplish. If you say you have been meaning to start this new hobby what good does that do. It doesn't matter if you wanted to do something for ten years because that accomplishes just as much as wanting to do it for a day.

To become the person you want to be you need to act like them. Think of this new dream self. Think about what their life would really be like. Think of them on an imperfect day, on a perfect day, on a mundane day. What does their life look like. When do they wake up? No really, they are just as exhausted as you are, be real, when do they wake up? Why do they wake up then? When would they need to go to bed? Now think of what would be easier for you, forcing yourself up early every day for two weeks and inevitably going to bed earlier because of that, or forcing yourself to bed early for two weeks and gradually waking up earlier as a result? It's different for every person, some methods work better then others, we don't operate under the same circumstances. Some might even find a mix of both might work.

Now think of what they do when they wake up. Do they get out of bed immediately, do they stop and read the news on their phone, do they scroll a little to try and wake themselves up? No judgement here, we all do it. Take some time in your envisioning and look up the effects of screen time in the early morning. Now read it again. Listen, you get along fine using your phone first thing in the morning, we've all heard of the negative affects. No one wants to be told not to do anything because we all love our autonomy. But what if you stop and think about how that serves you, what does it bring to you? Do you find joy, or is it all about the world falling apart and then look there's an AI cat video. What would wake you up as much as your phone? Would keeping a fun book by your bed give you something to focus one while your body get used to the day, what about glass of water?

Let's be honest, no one completes that list of things they should do in a day. That new years resolution you first made when you were thirteen has no place here, you aren't going to start waking up at five am to do yoga or workout before school or work. Why not start with something more reasonable, make some coffee in a reusable Keurig pod or even in an Italian stovetop coffee pot. It's possible to make tea in the stovetop espresso machines even, so if you're trying to continue your anti caffeine dry January you can still enjoy the warmth of a morning beverage. Fill up your favorite large mug you got yourself from a local craft fair you spent regrettable amounts of money at and sit on your porch listening to the birds; or if you live in a terrible tundra 8 months out of the year you can sit by your fire that is taking too long to warm the house. A space-heater is a wonderful substitute for that if you don't live the Jan Brett lifestyle, not many can in this economy.

The moment we are able to sit with our thoughts is the moment we start living for ourselves and not corporations. You could use this time to plan for the day, month, or even year. It could be that alone time you desperately search for while staying up late at night doom scrolling. Look around the room you're in, is there a little project you've been meaning to complete, a book you bought and have forgotten to read? What about the trim leaning up against the wall where it could be nailed to? That project is not for a quiet morning, but tidying a room now clears up that time you would have spent later.

All of this is awfully ambitious and seems like a lot; but there is no better way to become the person you want to be than to just do it. Whose to say you can't be the type of person who wakes up early and stretches every day. Or the type of person who doesn't lose control around food at night. You can be the person who goes on a daily morning jog! But the only way to become that person is to stop just thinking about it and start doing it.

We can go back to the first premise; think of your ideal person: what do they do, how do they act, why do they do all that? You will often find it goes hand in hand, they are well rested and wake up early because they limit screens 2 hours before bed. They read more because they don't doom-scroll at night when they can't sleep. They run every morning because they wake up early enough to do so and are ready for the day when it arrives. They don't spend that extra hour reading the news and raising their anxiety but rather use that hour to ease into the day, plan and organize their life even if all that means is getting out of bed and making coffee, that is still progress.

Your challenge for the day is to figure out what your dream person does and how it affects other aspects of their life. Circle together which of their daily tasks go hand in hand. Once you realize how simple one thing is to change the rest of it will fall into place.

You got this!

-Emmaline

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