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my father just looked me in the eyes and said “it’s a dog eat dog world out here and i’ve got a Milkbone up my ass” cheers man i’ve legitimately never heard that one before

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Unreliable narrators are one hell of an idea. You can just write whatever, and if a reader points out "hey the way this scene happened should not be physically possible if it's done the way this character described it", you can just be like "yeah I don't trust that fucker either."

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Penguin escapes killer whales by jumping onto a boat.

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2027: Wizards of the Coast and the American Psychological Association collaborate on the D&DSM, 6th Edition, widely regarded as the worst thing ever published

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Happy Wednes- wait, it’s Thursday.

Eh… still works.

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Once I was a middle school nerd reading fanfiction written by adults with taxes and careers and I thought “Damn, you’re still doing this? Don’t people eventually give up this sort of thing for real life grownup stuff?”

And now, as a real ass adult with a career writing fanfiction on my lunch break, I have learned the answer

“no”

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so we have a conversational safeword in my group of friends and it’s great, idk why more people don’t do this. whenever someone wants a subject to be dropped immediately no questions asked we just say “spleen” and we stop immediately and it’s a really good way to avoid crossing the line between teasing friends and genuinely upsetting them by accident, or stopping debates from turning into actual arguments

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this was funnier in my head lmao (spoilers for chapter 6) 

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does ur hand ever just

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you may notice i use the phrase "my beloved" frequently. this is because i am in love with the world and everything in it. hope this clears things up <3

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hey guys, pandora here! welcome to my unboxing video! today we're gonna be opening this mystery lootbox that i've been DYING to see what's in it

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Richelieu likes Loaf In Hay time.

PERFECTLY ROUND TYPE

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you can trust me with the mystery mad scientist potion

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Missing him :(

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