beer-in-soda-cups - Tumblr blog

[beer-in-soda-cups]

the boston tea party

usa: oh look at all this tea

england: NO

usa: it would be a shame

england: amerICA NO

usa: if something

england:

usa: were to

england:

england:

england:

usa: happen

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“how would you like your tea sir?”

*american voice* tax free

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And for a second there we’d won. Yeah, we were innocent and young.

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So long as y'all’re SO OBSESSED with your second amendment, let’s put those @Walmart guns to good use, yeah?

[beer-in-soda-cups]

i had to¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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“You’re not alone” -Kylo to Rey

“Neither are you” -Rey to Kylo

*they touch hands*

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Rey: YOU ARE A SNAKE, A MONSTERRR

Kylo: *has his tiddies out*

Rey:

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me

Mark: That romantic tension between Rey and my naughty nephew

Me:

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Christian theologians who theorize hell as a place of isolation as opposed to a place of torture are definitely way more interesting. I actually really like C.S. Lewis’ depiction of Hell in the great divorce as a vast open plane where individuals are constantly walking further away from each other. They could turn back, and even leave hell at any time, but the type of soul they have become compells them to keep diving into their own isolation, and most that visit heaven find it profoundly painful and go back.

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in case yall been sleeping here’s a reminder that we just shut down Mall Of America, the largest mall in the USA, to protest the wrongful deaths of young black men by police. #blacklivesmatter

[beer-in-soda-cups]

business email glossary

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"

thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -

Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think

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@ y'all

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<i>power couple

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[beer-in-soda-cups]

Modern Anastasia Aesthetic. Especially for @isabellaswanns birthday. You´re the best.