beetlefucker

[beetlefucker]

Was high as fuck off LEGAL WEED and a raccoon slowly stood up on its hind legs in my back yard and made eye contact w me. I need witness protection

[beetlefucker]

[beetlefucker]

IS THERE AN EMPATH ON THE PLANE

[beetlefucker]

when i smoke weed the marijuana smoke makes me feel different than i usually do. does anyone else experience this?

[beetlefucker]

[beetlefucker]

i think it’s really amazing how total strangers who have nothing in common but their shared love of a work of fiction will come together across distances and dedicate their time and energy working collaboratively to build an extensive, richly detailed fanon that completely fucking sucks

[beetlefucker]

Climbing up Mt Everest in a wingsuit so once you reach the peak you jump off and after gliding for a moment tuck your arms and legs in & torpedo yourself at top speed towards some other climber on the mountain peregrin falcon style, the collision knocks you out, kills them, the thwack of your helmet hitting their skull at 90MPH can be heard for miles, the blood sprays and freezes midair

[beetlefucker]

love the word aforementioned. like i already said that

[beetlefucker]

[beetlefucker]

The unablogger

[beetlefucker]

[beetlefucker]

do job interviewers know we’re all going to die one day

[beetlefucker]

I literally hate every job in the world. I don’t want them. I don’t want ANY of them!

[beetlefucker]

the laptop cd drive is a sort of dead wife

[beetlefucker]

nah

[beetlefucker]

hipster cafes be like "we are proud to be a community establishment! 😊 think local!! 😇 everyone welcome!!! 🏳️‍🌈 restroom for customers only"

[beetlefucker]

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sheep getting in an elevator. idk man i made this account in 2010 ive made every other post already