beingleia

[beingleia]

When the "investigation" of what happened today takes place, I hope it truly examines the WHY. And if they need a starting point, Joy Reid puts all of the pieces of the puzzle together in this brilliant 2:04 minute analysis of today's attempted coup, the elections, and the absolute lack of and in some cases gingerly response to the terrorists that attacked the Capitol. This is just an excerpt but I encourage you to listen to the full segment.

“White Americans aren’t afraid of the cops. White Americans are never afraid of the cops, even when they’re committing insurrection. Even when they are engaged in attempting to occupy our capitol to steal the votes of people who look like me. Because in their minds they own this country, they own that capitol, they own the cops and the cops work for them. People like me have no damn right to try to elect a president. Because we don't get to pick the president, they get to pick the president; they own the president; they own the White House. They own this country - and so when you think own it, you aint afraid of the police because the police are you and the police reflect back to them "we're with you," "you're good," "we're not going to hurt you because you are not them."

@JoyAnnReid

[beingleia]

Your kisses use to heal me now your mouth is used to belittle me. Your hands once caressed my skin those hands turned to fist your eyes once full of love now filled with deceit our home once heaven now satan is at your feet my smile use to your be world now my tears make you laugh my hands once held you now is on the door I must leave for your love is my pain and I can't endure my feet wont move towards the door and I'm still held captive and impregnated with your child how did this passion become pain. Why cant I get away why I keep going back to the place of where I hurt knowing you wont change for liquor is your new love and it takes over your brain I guess its wishful thinking that the old you would return but my cheeks burn with tear imprints my head hurts from you pulling my hair and I just sit and stare at the door trying to get my feet to move as I feel our baby heart beat.

[beingleia]

Ive never truly felt pure, Ive never felt like I experienced being a virgin or having that child like demeanor. I cant truly remember if I was born sexy, if I just had those bedroom eyes that made you want to touch my immature thighs while telling me Im beautiful but you chose to do to me made me feel ugly. You said this is what pretty little girls are made for.

Now who knew later in life this so called beauty would cost so much pain so much heart ache and many attempts would be made on my life by my own hand because I could no longer cope with shadows, flashbacks, and dirty feelings.

How did my little thighs my undeveloped chest my non existent

back side excite you. How did kissing me in place that made me feel sick on the inside feel you with pride and oh how you'd smile that devilish grin and I just lay here stiff as a board so I dont remember the pain that runs deep when you lay me down on these sheets. Praying please let someone come home early you shouldnt be laying on top of me. I cant breathe. I float away so I cant feel the shame its happening to waddle not me. I just float here up by the ceiling until its say ok to come back down. I dont like game and why dont you play with everyone else. I dont want to be special. I dont like pain I hate how feel I later like burning sands of my innocence blowing away. My outlook now tainted. Years of self inflicted pain and shame. Using what I have to get what I want because you taught me how to use men how please them and I taught myself how to leave them get the dough and dash no emotions just cash. I play them before they get me. See you did alot of damage when you introduce me to you sicking pervert games. I was young you was suppose to watch not endanger but your the monster everyone talks about. It seven whole years once I started the journey back to myself I needed saving so I decided to save my damn self. I ask God to help me with forgiveness and with spite and anything else related to me wishing death on the person. PTSD is a real thing for nightmares of the many abuses that would take place in my life. No you arent the only one to cause physical pain just the first one. But God introduced me to myself and gave me help and now the ugliness I use to see is replaced with a prettier me. He taught me to use my pain and turn into passion. Help someone lost in their world of abuse show them the tunnel of light. I thank God I learned to make it through the night. The breaking of me made the survivor of me rise and take the power for me. The night only exsist as long as you allow. How much longer will you stay in the dark?.....

[beingleia]

As we leave the old behind to explore the new in 2021 please take the time explore and find who you are and if you already know take the time to enhance who you are. What separates us from all of God's creation is our ability to feel love joy peace and happiness. Unfortunately we can also feel pain grief and sorrow. Which allows US to improve and change and learn. Let this next year be filled with things that can help our compassion to grow for the lack of it has changed our society in such away that when tragedy strike, such as a school filled with children dying at the hands of another lost troubled soul we mourn for a few moments and then we confess with our mouths that we are no longer shocked at all the evil that is running rapid because we are use to it. Take this year to maintain your humanity or for some take the time to find it again for it is the very thing that separates us from being animals and being man. In 2021 turn your emotions back on and find the healing in pain trials and tribulations for these things create great men and women. Allow yourself the opportunity to be great to feel for your fellow man and be blinded or blocked because it easier to have no emotion. This year let's separate ourselves again from beast. Allow are human emotion to do just that keep us human. Let 2021 be the year we nurture our emotions not cut them off in fear that we may hurt. If your looking

for love then learn to love yourself first all of you not just some parts of yourself embrace it all. If your looking for friendship learn to be a friend first. Let this year be the year of living and fulfilling destiny's. Lets get back to being human and feeling so we can be who and what we are created to be which is to be made and molded in our God's image. Let the new year make a new and better you. Search, Want, Expect, Look, Love, and Most of all Be Happy this year and all years to come just be human and not become the machines we seem to depend on to live. Hand write a letter this year instead of emailing so a little part of you creates a memory for someone something they can hold and cherish and smile at something that reminds other we are still human. We are not just Black, White, Asian, and Latina. We are people that share the same wants. We want to provide for our families. We want to access to higher education. We want to be able to find employment so we can build wealth. Now that we so much in common it hurts my soul that just the color of the next person's skin holds us hostage to a hate that has been passed down from generations to generations. When do we say enough! When do say no more! 2021 is a great time to start. Another Civil War is brewing and no one will win. It's time to emphasize with each other. It's time to heal and deal with the atrocities that has been committed on several different races in this country. It's time to acknowledge the hurt and not act as if we should be over it. You can't get over it if the other party won't fully acknowledge it. 2021 can be the year of Restoration or Revolution.

[beingleia]

I planned on being happy with you the smiles that you made glide across my face

The closed heart you open but then Mr. P showed up and I started questioning was the smile real or just a mirage. Did my heart open or did I just breath a little see when I’m with you I smile I laugh and I’m so care free but Mr. P always finds a way to cast doubt and lead me back to bondage back to dark days tears and fears of this situation I’m in right now sitting in the dark waiting just waiting for you to have a reason to walk away or not to call or text and leave me a fucked up mess. See baby your touch is just right your stroke leaves me in total awe and my back screams for a break when you put it down. The king in you speaks to the queen in me but that damn Mr. P always has something to say like you’re just the same as them lames and this to will not last. I try to block out his voice and look into your eyes and see the happiness I stand in the mist of and for awhile all I hear is your voice your words and your actions back up everything you say but that Mr. P always comes out to play he holds me in a trance and I forget who you are and how you make me feel this nigga Mr. P is so ill he got the best lyrics out his beats makes me dance. The flash back to the yester years he holds and I can’t help but to get wrapped up in him instead of staying wrapped up in you and I let Mr. P win again I let you walk out of my present because I couldn’t get over Mr. P My Past.

[beingleia]

Dear Heavenly I come humbled and hungry and longing for your Presence for Your Glory For Your Peace For Your Grace For Your Mercy. I invite You into my day and into my life. We forget that You want To Be Invited In Ushered In Called Upon. So God begin to Rain Down Your Fresh Anointing This Morning Breathe New Life Into Everyone That Reads This Post God! THE INVITE HAS BEEN SENT AND I WELCOME YOU IN. God For You are the author of my story the editor the publisher and without You my story could not be told. I am greatful for every test for every victory and every defeat. God I give You praise I worship at your feet as my heart pours out til it is empty so it can be filled with You! I want to be filled with

You Heavenly Father I want to live transparently so others can see the miracles that You have performed the many times You told death that it could not knock on my door! How You touched my mind my heart my body and made me whole. God I cry out Glory to the highest not for what your going to do but for what You already have done! If You never done anything thing I still would be blessed beyond measure. So I thank You today publicly because You bless me publicly I can acknowledge you in the same way. I give You today and the rest of my life God to use as You see fit to show others no matter how you fall down God always has a plan for you to get back up!! May you invite God into your day today and every other day....

[beingleia]

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate its our fear of not being able to live up to the potential others have see in you. Our deepest fear is not being powerful but the fear of growing faint in the times of chaos and confusion. Our deepest fear isnt the darkness within but the fear of the world rejecting our light. We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant gorgeous talented fabulous?Actually who are u not to be? Stop allowing your fears effect your future. Speak life love peace and understanding over your life no more fear. No more doubt walk into your destiny with a smile and a open heart and watch how the world reacts to you.

[beingleia]

I’ve learned that love is not a noun; it’s not a person place or thing. It’s a verb that must continually have action. Love is a concept that requires two people to have one common goal with each other the yearning not to Lose the other. To want to see the other happy even at the times that the other may be sad, Love has become a victim an feeble old man that babbles on and on about his youth when he saw things clearly and had so many hopes and dreams. Love has become a sport instead of passion. People use the word so freely and never really took the time to see it for its pure beauty and pain. Love can create walls or tear them down. Love can heal or destroy. Love should never have to hurt but we have learned that even the purest form of love such as a mother and child can cause scars that are never seen when the child first learns to say I hate you. Unfortunate love has been blamed for so much when all love wants to do is love. People are the reason why love has changed for love can only be given how one conceive its. It’s not love fault when your mate say I love you and in the same breath causes you to cry and have a pain that is so deep you wish you could go back in time to not care to not love so that when their actions speaks hurt you cannot care. Love has become the culprit the bad guy when in actuality its not love that is the bad guy it’s when you discovery you have been in Love all by yourself that causes the damages in which you want to be cured of. Finding out that you have loved another that cannot love you in the same way Finding out that being in love alone is what caused the pain and now all you can do is try to walk away from something that you were in all alone in the first place is the true tragedy of love.

[beingleia]

Hello World! My Name is Leia And The Purpose Of This Page Is To Show Support For Mental Health, Trauma, Spiritual Guidance, And Family Advocate. This Page Is A Judgment Free Zone! It's Place Were You Can Vent, Educate Yourself. If You Want To Inbox Me If You Have Questions Or Just Need A Ear Understand It Will Not

Be Discussed! I AM NOT A LICENSED THERAPIST MERELY AN ADVOCATE FOR MENTAL HEALTH, AND TRAUMA.

This Page Is For Anyone Struggling With Any Type Trauma And May Need Encouragement. We All Need Help So Let's Start Here.