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Chad L: A Translation

So my friends asked me to put my heart-of-LAX-country Maryland upbringing to good use and translate Chad L’s dialogue from OMGCP 4.6.

Here’s the original dialogue: “Five on the beef. Brush the fuckin’ NARP goss and nip ched all season, bro. Ripped.” 

Here’s my rough translation: “Pause the feud for a sec. Don’t listen to the non-athletic regular person gossip and continue getting the D all season [this could be referring to Bitty and Jack’s relationship or to SMH having a winning season], bro.”

And a more polished version: “Real talk, all beef aside. Screw the haters who think what you do is easy and frivolous and keeping winning on the ice and sleeping with your hot bf, bro. You are/it is awesome/badass.”

Some notes:

NARP: Non-athletic regular person

Nip Ched: I think this can have two meanings. Someone who ‘nips ched’ can be someone who slays or dominates on the field (or ice, in this case), but I think it can also refer to someone who sleeps with or dates hot girls. If someone does both, it’s the epitome of LAX cool. Well, they probably need to have flow and lettuce, too, but still. 

Basically, Chad L is expressing mad respect for Bitty using what’s usually no-homo bro code. And I think that’s beautiful. 

Thanks to all the LAX players who tried to cheat off my tests in middle and high school, and to my brother, a varsity LAX goalie. Little did I know that his speeches about “Broseidon, King of the Brocean” would come in handy one day. Love you, kid. 

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Okay has anyone actually read the book this is based on? Because the book is... kind of bad. It’s equal parts Putin fanfiction, f/f sex scenes written for straight dudes, and some weird almost-feminist (if you squint) ending. 

I could write a whole essay on this book, but suffice it to say that there were many, many vivd descriptions of Putin’s glistening muscles and gleaming eyes. There’s a scene where he intimidates a spy chief by summoning him to his personal gym where he lifts, threatens and stares at him. 

“There’s people who think it’s very similar to the Black Widow story,” Lawrence told Screen Rant. “This is not pulled from BW, this is pulled from Red Sparrow. You know, it’s just like written by a guy who was in the CIA. It’s like, his references are coming from a very very different place from that. But there’ll always be that. People like to put things in boxes, and I think is a really unique film. This is a thriller, it’s not action, again it’s not gadgety. It’s a hard-R. There’s violence, it’s a bit perverse, it’s suspenseful, a lot of intrigue. It’s a very different kind of spy film.”

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if your name is steve there are 99% chances you have a badass brunette lover

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Due to a statute of limitations, former GOP Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert won’t face sex abuse charges for allegedly molesting students while he was a high school wrestling coach.

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requested by anon

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I’m sorry I’m just not over that wolverine cover

Kurt’s clearly naked

Logan’s glaring at his dick

Classic porn cover poses

@Esad Ribic explain yourself please

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Watch: Hilarious Party Over Here sketch gets at the dark truth behind “mansplaining.”

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a fun game you can play when you have nothing better to do with your life/really don’t want to do dishes is called “what ballroom dance would a random superhero coupling perform?” super fun! play it with your friends! then play it alone, because your friends will have left you forever.

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ATLA Cast (From Enemies to Friends)

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Every once in a while I see these two team up and it’s great. I want them to be best friends in a little-girl-slumber-party-friends kind of way. They would bond over things like crushes and hyphenated names. 

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Parveen Sadiq being interviewed by Assed Baig for Channel 4 News regarding Prime Minister David Cameron’s English language policy. The screenshots are by Buzzfeed.

Buzzfeed article – Channel 4 News YouTube video

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The Princess and the Pony is now available in paperback and hardcover! <333 

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Evening dress ca. 1911-13

From the Walker Art Gallery