bellvtrix

[bellvtrix]

To lose you is my worst nightmare. I don’t know how to be like that.

[bellvtrix]

ep1015 ace redraw :p

[bellvtrix]

I’m just breaking myself down piece by piece to feel good enough.

[bellvtrix]

I have no where to go. Holding the pain back just makes it more painful.

Holding the love back just makes it more painful.

[bellvtrix]

Anyone, please send me anyone Lord, is there anyone? I need someone.

[bellvtrix]

anyone by demi lovato

[bellvtrix]

The fact that “Anyone” could have been the very last song Demi ever recorded makes my stomach turn. The lyrics are her BEGGING for help & they all just let her fall deeper into darkness. Literally written 4 days before her overdose.. THIS is what depression looks & sounds like & nobody took it seriously.

[bellvtrix]

Death by a thousand cuts (2019)

[bellvtrix]

Look at me with someone to text when I’m bored and make me smile stupid.

[bellvtrix]

I always say I’m gonna take a healthy step of moving on but it’s so much harder said than done. I don’t want to.. I didn’t want to.. :/ But oh well.

My interview for my promotion is on Tuesday and ya girl is getting a salary. I’m so excited. I feel like I’m finally not gonna be living paycheck to paycheck if I save my money right. I really have no excuse not to considering I have virtually no bills. So dope, I finally get to be a bar manager and get paid for it properly.

Also great news, co manager that everyone hates put in his 2 weeks so that’s why I get promoted much quicker than initially planned. Yayyyy.

I be saving too many drafts.

[bellvtrix]

Mimi, our work meow, modeling in the sunlight.

[bellvtrix]

Literally if a man doesn’t have a fat ass he’s useless there I said it

[bellvtrix]

Inventory today was good, definitely getting faster. Was having an alright day until I found out my other manager is gonna be around an hour and a half late. It’s not like I’ve been here since 9am or anything.

I gotta make a list of things I’m gonna do after work. I planned on having a productive second half of my day and I’m gonna start with cleaning the inside of my truck. I really wanted to go to the book store but I’m hesitant. Idk. Maybe. And then maybe start on my desk? I really should. Or put all my old tshirts in the storage bin my mom got me. I definitely should really do that because my room is a mess. Alright, making a list for sure. Might as well since I’m gonna be at work until after the sun goes down. Fricken great.

[bellvtrix]

My co-manager has had diarrhea all weekend and I only know this because he won’t stop talking about it. Here I am wondering what I said or did for him to feel like I want to know any of this? I had my period for the last 6 days, think he wants to hear about it?

[bellvtrix]

Why am I such a silly silly silly goose. Whatever! What’s done is done! It’ll be fucking fine!

[bellvtrix]

[bellvtrix]

Remember who you are

Follow me on pinterest @vila__g