bemimi

[bemimi]

( from me to you )

𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓, Seoul, SK July, 2023 w. 𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

It’d been a good few months since Mimi ‘came into money’, and by that, he means he got a job. Somehow, the perfect job for him had fallen right into his lap, as though the world was saying ‘here you go Mimi, since I’ve given you such a hard time your entire life’. He’d taken it as an apology from the universe, one which he was still pondering whether he’d accept or not, despite having graciously accepted it’s gift. The job in question wasn’t anything grand, in fact it paid just about minimum wage. However, it was in a music store, so Mimi was free to spend the time between customers plucking away at his bass and scribbling down bars of melodies onto scrap pieces of receipt paper. Possibly the best aspect of the job was his employers, the Kims. They were a family he often envied, and yet he couldn’t find it in him to feel bitter about it. 

Now, though, he’d taken what he’d saved up, and had invited Jae out for dinner, as a long-overdue ‘thank you’ for treating him to so many things he couldn’t have possibly dreamt of during his ‘homeless stint’. He didn’t like to talk about those months, when bathing was difficult, and doing the laundry was almost impossible, and he’d grown skinny and jumpy. He’d rather forget that time of his life, even if he felt one wrong move away from being thrown right back into that way of living. The threat of homelessness was an ever present shadow over Mimi’s life, and he wondered if he’d ever be rid of it. Tonight, though, he wasn’t thinking about it, no matter how much the circumstances made his mind jump backwards in time. 

He’s waiting outside the restaurant, worried they won’t let him in on his own—he doesn’t look like a ‘restaurant-goer’. With his shoulders somewhat tensed, and the hood atop them such a present weight it’s physically uncomfortable to stop himself from lifting his hands to pull it up, he stands, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He’d gotten there early, a rarity for him, but he’d been, as much as he’d loath to admit it, excited. So, when his eyes finally fall on his companion for the night, he breaks into a smile. “Hey, handsome.” 

[bemimi]

Mimi has no idea how he ended up at a kpop convention. He’d never had any interest in kpop, but when Matt had asked him, he found himself wholly unable to say no. He didn’t have work, or a gig, or even band practise to worry about, so he had no excuse to not go, even if he didn’t think he’d be interested. Spending time with Matt was bound to make it a good day, though, whether he was interested in what they were doing or not. Matt was, in some way, his best friend. He’d been his friend for longer than most people Mimi knew, and knew more about Mimi than he really cared to think about. As hard as it was to accept for Mimi, who hated sharing his secrets, feelings, worries, hopes and fears, if he was going to open up to anyone, it would be Matt. He’d done it before, and he knew there really wasn’t much stopping him from doing it again. Matt knew things about Mimi that no one else did, and in a way, while scary, it was comforting. 

As he watches Matt’s face light up at all the convention has to offer, he decides this was worth it. Seeing Matt smile always made him feel just that little bit better. However, he’s quickly reconsidering their entire friendship when all of a sudden he’s dragged over to what seems to be a large group of people dancing to a song playing over a loud speaker system. He feels like he may have heard the song once upon a time, in a store or a mall, but when he realises Matt wants him to dance to it his stomach drops and his eyes widen with mild panic. Mimi can’t dance. He’s neither good at it, nor does he enjoy it, and he most certainly doesn’t know the dance that Matt’s asking him to do, which everyone around them is doing. “I- Matt I don’t know it!” He cries in panic, flushing from the apples of his cheeks to the tips of his ears which he now regrets leaving uncovered when he’d tied up the top half of his hair to combat the summer heat. 

But, as he watches Matt begin to dance, he can’t help but grin and laugh at the sight. He’s not bad, and the dance doesn’t look hard, so Mimi tries, just for him. Eyes glued to his friend, and a nervous smile on his lips, he copies. Every so often he misses a movement, and his hands flail in mild panic, but he manages to keep up somewhat well. Enough to where he doesn’t seem to be drawing attention to himself by doing absolutely abominably. “You owe me food for this!” He calls over to Matt, hoping his voice can be heard above the music. 

just have fun

          matt had come to korea barely knowing anyone, even his grandmother who he stayed at for a while, he first met when he traveled to korea in 2021. matt isn’t completely sure why he and his dad never traveled to korea, if it was due to money issues or something else. but though he didn’t even know the family he stayed at, he’d actually made a friend online prior to moving to korea, so mideum, or well mimi, was matt’s very first friend in korea. mimi was a great friend, someone matt felt like he could always talk to, and he’d go far for mimi, if mimi ever needed anything, matt would find a way.

for today, the two buddies are joining a convention, matt isn’t exactly sure of how much mimi likes k-pop, but matt is obsessed. he’s grabbed mimi’s hand, dragging him through the crowd over to the random play dance event. matt is still quite the far away from being a good dancer, but he still enjoys it. “this is nonono by apink! do you know it? if not, follow along to me!” he lets go of the other’s hand, sends a smile, and then does the easy dance.

follow me - @bemimi

[bemimi]

Mimi needed a break. His brain felt like a a stick being bent to it’s snapping point, ready to splinter. He’d left before the tears began, unwilling to show weakness. Sometimes just walking away was safer for him, even when he knew he wanted to blow up, his entire being shattering into billions of pieces, sharp enough to cut anyone close enough. In the past year he'd felt as though his emotions had been rubbed down with sandpaper, left raw and tender, and he didn't know why. Why did he feel so broken? Had he taken time to dissect his gnarled innards, damaged by all he'd been through, he'd have found his answers—but doing that meant facing the memories he refused to let resurface.

So, instead Mimi sought out distractions in the form of comfortable company. Noel was easy to be around. They drank and watched movies, listened to music or played games, and just let the realities of the world slip away, hidden behind the simple walls of Noel's apartment. Tonight, Mimi hopes to forget himself for a while—long enough to let the pain subside for just a little while. "Cheers." He responds a little less enthusiastically, though he makes the effort to knock his beer can against Noel's before taking a long swig. Drawing a knee to his chest as he leans into the back of the couch, he positions himself facing Noel, letting his eyes trail over his friends familiar features. He entrusts Noel with the carrying of the conversation on nights like these, when speaking takes so much effort.

"Uh... no. What's that?" Mimi couldn't really remember the last time he'd sat down to watch regular TV. He'd watched some movies since moving in with Jin, but he tended to forget about cable TV. "Not that much, honestly. Got a job a few months back, I think I mentioned it. In this family-owned music store." His back straightens a little, and he stares down at the opening of his can as he smiles. "I really like it. I kinda hung around there when I had nothing else to do during the day, and made friends with the owners son. He's the one who helped me get the job." There was so much he could say about how having a job made him feel—not useless, not as much of a burden on the entire world, not forgotten... All the things he'd grown to believe about himself in the previous year had begun to shed when he was in the store. "What about you? I feel like I have no idea what you're doing these days." He stretches a leg out, nudging Noel's thigh with his socked-foot.

come over

it’s surprisingly not that often noel brings friends over. he has his own apartment, there’s nobody he has to ask if it’s okay he brings someone over. he’s not sure why it is like it is, that so few people know where he lives, that so few people visits him where he lives. he spends a lot of time with others, school and work, and often he finds time beside that to be with others. his apartment is his own little place for just him and his pets, but the few people he do invite over, he’s happy to have in his apartment.

mimi ( @bemimi ) isn’t doing as well financially as noel, but mimi is a good friend, if mimi ever needed somewhere new to live, noel would welcome mimi with open arms, but for now it’s just visits every now and then, whatever mimi wants is okay, noel is just glad to have the other in his life. “cheers!” he sends the other a smile “it’s been a while since i’ve had fried chicken and beer” his dog brushes over his leg, and he pets it as it passes by. “what have you been up to? ah! did you… watch next gen by any chance?” just needed to know, was it something he could hide or did mimi already know.

[bemimi]

hello again !! it’s me, bear ( he/him, 24 ), back with my third and final (much anticipated) muse hwang mimi ( 010701 ). he’s a muse i’ve had in the works since late last year, dreaming of him with the far off hope that one day i’d be able to have a third muse, and that day has finally come 🥹 . i’m going to apologise in advance for him—he can be a bit of a problem, but he has his reasons, so please don’t judge him too harshly (or do, that might be fun tbh). you can find more info about him on his profile page, his biography is still under construction (forgive me), but i’ll leave more info about him beneath the cut. if you’d like to plot please like this post and i’ll send you a message! i also have discord upon request!

⸻ TLDR

[ tw: car accident mention ]

mimi was born to a young couple in seoul, but only a few years after his birth his father was killed in a car accident and his mother turned to the guidance & comfort of the new pastor at her church. within a year she’d gotten married to the pastor, and quit her job to be a stay at home mother (as her new husband thought was more ‘appropriate’). his stepfather very quickly became the unquestioned head of the household and shaped the family to his liking. mimi tried to be a good, obedient child, but his stepfather hated his questioning nature, his curiosity and soon forbade him from asking ‘why’. when he was six, his little sister was born, and he found he loved being a big brother, even if he was constantly reminded that he was a ‘bad influence’, no matter how hard he tried not to be. the rest of his childhood and adolescence went pretty much the same—he tried to win his parents approval, but could never seem to do anything right, so eventually just stopped trying. 

as time went on, and other influences in his life grew stronger than his parents, he realised he didn’t agree with most of the things his stepfather (and subsequently, his mother) believed. his stepfather had never managed to cage in his thoughts, and so mimi began to explore interests that he knew his parents wouldn’t approve of. he’d always been a lover of music, but in high school he found rock music and dove headfirst into it. a new sense of style soon followed and this was where mimi’s true problems arose. his parents didn’t like his scruffy attire or dark clothing—’is that barbed wire on your shirt?’—and weren’t afraid to voice their opinions. he managed to placate them for a few years, minimising himself and his interests when he was at home. 

everything came to a head during early to mid 2022; mimi had grown his hair out and dyed it. at this point, his parents came to the conclusion that he must be possessed, and after a failed attempted exorcism (which mimi merely found comical), he was ungracefully disowned and kicked out of the family home. his life pretty much fell apart after this, as he no longer had funding for unviersity, no home, and because he’d become homeless, his long-term girlfriend (who he’d thought he was going to marry) broke up with him. for a while he was homeless, going between park benches, bathhouses and friend’s couches until his bandmate ( @jindallaebe ) offered for mimi to stay with him. he’s been there ever since, but due to how suddenly he was kicked out before, he’s unsure about calling it ‘home’ quite yet. 

⸻ UNDER THE SKIN

🎸 mimi’s always been very... anti-authority-figures. he has never liked rules or being told what to do, unless he can see a good reason for the rule existing. he’s a very self-led person, and is pretty impossible to influence. he’s so chronically individual that if everyone was doing something, and he’d end up entirely alone forever if he didn’t, he’d still stick to his own decisions and opinions, even if that didn’t align with what everyone else was doing. however, he’s not judgemental about people having differing opinions or tastes in things, unless those opinions are bigoted—then he’s not afraid to speak his mind. he’s the kind of person who won’t hold back from ripping someone a new one, even if that person is a good friend of someone he cares about. if they’re being a stupid a**hole, he’s going to say so, and if his friend doesn’t see it, he’s happy to cut them off too. 

🎸 mimi has undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. while he showed minor signs in his youth, it wasn’t until he became homeless that the symptoms became very noticeable. he’s very sensitive to perceived ‘abandonment’, even when, after calming down a bit, he logically knows that, for example, someone choosing to spend the evening with someone else, instead of him, isn’t him being abandoned, it still, in the moment, feels that way. his emotions can change very quickly, and he can have pretty ‘black-and-white’ thinking about people; one day he can view someone as nothing but good and nice, the next as an entirely horrible, irredeemably bad person. he can lash out, say things he doesn’t mean, and sometimes throw things when he feels ‘in danger’ of being cast-aside/rejected/replaced/forgotten. he’s also very private—he believes that no one could really understand how he feels, and that he’s broken in some way, so there’s no point in explaining his emotions/feelings/problems to people, because they will unfairly judge him. he often feels ‘raw’ emotionally, as if everything affects him 100x more than it affects everyone else.

🎸 he’s an incredibly passionate, loving, and creative person. he loves very intensely (sometimes too intensely), and sometimes views this as a weakness. this love can be for people or things, like hobbies. he’s always had a very deep love for video games, music, and art, and loves no one in the world more than his sister. he’s always loved writing music/lyrics, doodling and drawing little cartoons, and escaping the real world through video games. he doesn’t readily share the things he creates with people, however, as he feels very vulnerable due to how much of himself he puts into them—criticism can seem, to him, like a direct criticism of who he is. he does love to play games with people, though, and considers this one of his main forms of bonding with people, as well as bonding through music. 

[bemimi]

“this is unbelievably sweet”

[bemimi]

beomgyu — ’LO$ER=LO♡ER’ (Official Teaser)